What Hurts The Most
by Chimhill
Summary: “Spencer, since the first day I met you, your warmth, your passion your heart all those little things you do, I remember the first time our eyes locked, the soft curve of your lips, I imagine kissing you then already.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing…Tom Lynch owns the rights to SON**

**To all those who liked my first fanfic, I started a second one. This one will be much longer then Dearest Spencer. It will be in book style.**

**The whole story is from Spencer's POV. Here and their you will get Ashley's POV. In the beginning it will mainly be Spaiden for now bear with me with this story. **

**Prologue**

_This is the story of my __life; this is how we all discover what it is like to have it all but also facing what is right and wrong. I think that everyday we go about our lives not giving it a thought of how the universe can shape your life._

_This is how I became a successful author at the same time giving up my own destiny and how life takes you on journeys that you would never thought imaginable._

_Firstly let me introduce myself my name is Spencer Carlin Davies, I am an author I have written ten books of which I received five bestselling rewards, I also were co-writer to two of my novels being turned into block busters. It may seem that I am this well known author who's living the good life but it wasn't at all that smooth._

_In my life I had faced death twice; I lost my second born in a miscarriage. It was also the same time when I took a job as script writer for a small production company in L.A, that's where I met the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on. _

_I was sitting in this cosy coffee shop not __to far from the hotel that I was staying, and I was mining my own business when this girl bumped into my table not knowing who I am, the minute our eyes locked I knew I was a goner. But deep down I knew this can't be happening because I were a married women with a daughter and this brunette with the prettiest brown hazel eyes captured my heart. I wasn't into women that I knew but she did something to me that I never thought possible._

_She__ became my wife and we have three beautiful girls. This is our story and Aiden became our nanny. (We wish, I bet you like to know what happened through the past seven years, well stay tuned and you'll find out)._

**That's all for now look out for a follow up.**

**Let me know what you think. I will start chapter 1 after this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Seven Years Earlier**

**Chapter 1: **

I am currently on my way to L.A. My publisher called a week ago and told me that Dave Davidson from Davidson Production has asked him if I would like to meet him to talk about turning my book into a novel, but also Dave has send me some script saying that he needs to redo the script as in the storyline is pathetic that he knows I could do something awesome out of it. When I read the script I really don't know why we can't just go with the ordinary heterosexual love story. I am not being biased are anything, but I am just not the person for the job. My life has enough drama to last me a lifetime.

I am married to Aiden Dennison and we have a daughter, Hadley. Hadley is from a one night stand with my brothers best friend Patrick. When Hadley were two years old Patrick died in a car crash. It wasn't easy raising the baby by myself but with help from my best friend Chelsea I got the hang off it. I met Aiden through one of Chelsea's string of ex boyfriends. It was love at first sight. I wasn't at all ready to have a serious relationship but my parents loved him, especially my Dad.

Well my mom loved him too, sometimes I thought she was into Aiden but maybe I am just seeing things that aren't there.

We were both from two different worlds but yet so complex. I had a kid and his family were not impress with that fact. We finally got married and moved into my house. The transition with having a husband and a new baby on the way was not as easy as I thought it would have been.

One day Aiden and Hadley came from his parents place finding me lying on our kitchen floor with blood everywhere around me I remember it like yesterday.

_Flashback_

_I was coming from work that afternoon, the whole day I didn't feel good that's why I came home. I got out of my car and entered the house calling for Aiden and Hadley but no reply. I stepped into the kitchen passing the sink I felt a severe pain up my abdomen but thought nothing of it. I went to pour some water from the tap, on my way returning to go to the bedroom I feel this pain again and not long felt something wet underneath me, thinking I wanted to pee, but then I saw blood and I felt dizzy falling to the floor and holding my stomach and seeing blood. I cried out for help but the pain just doesn't ease. Minutes later I hear the front door open and hearing small feet running to the kitchen I look up and theirs my little girl with big eyes looking scared and tears starting to fall from her face._

_I see her turn her face calling._

"_Daddy!"_

"_Mommy!"_

_I hear Aiden running towards our little girl shushing her and then telling her to go into the lounge while he was busy grabbing the phone and holding me in his arms._

"_Babe. It's going to be okay."_

"_Aid… (crying)I can't (crying)…it's to much blood (crying)…we going to lose our baby and it's my entire fault." His cradling me in his arms while I can't seem to stop the tears from falling._

_End of flashback_

We lost our son that day. And our marriage hasn't been the same. I completely shut Aiden out of the pain I have been going through, my little girl has been suffering as well of me shutting everyone in the family out. My therapist told me to write in a journal but I turned it into a novel and that's why I am off to meet Dave.

Aiden told me to go to clear my head that maybe things would get better once I am gone. Away from all the nightmares. Hadley is currently staying with my parents for the week while I am off searching for a new adventure.

**Please tell me what you think should I go on with this story. It will start out with more Spencer and Aiden in the beginning. Every story needs to develop somewhere.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I dedicate this chapter too grangergirl22,SoNfan1604 and .HEART, thank you guys for reviewing my story. Too SoNfan1604 I know you love the title by Rascal Flatts.**

**Chapter 2:**

It was early the evening when I landed in L.A. The flight from Ohio was very tiring having to change twice cause the plane not having enough fuel to go straight to L.A.

On arriving at L.A.X I see a white board written with a black sharpie my name Spencer Dennison, I usually just use my maiden name but I guess Jean gave them my name. Jean is my editor she's been a really good friend ever since we met five years ago.

I see the young man holding the board up and walk straight towards him.

"Spencer Carlin." I say. He looks at me like his kind of confuse.

"Oh? I forgot Spencer Dennison. I don't normally go with Dennison but you being excused for this."

"Yeah, sorry Miss. My boss told me to get a Spencer Dennison." I look at him as I am annoyed by his simple mistake. I mean I am tired and don't have the energy left to still deal with this nonsense. He takes my luggage and I follow him outside to a black sleek limo waiting for me to climb in. The young man looks at me with his big green eyes not the same as Aiden's but it looks vaguely like his. I see his mouth moving asking me something._ Stop talking to yourself and listen Spencer._

"So, Dave said to take you straight to the hotel. You are staying at the Beverly Hilton."

"That's fine by me. By the way what's your name?"

"Clarke. Clarke Davidson." Then it hit me his father must be Dave.

Wow I was being rude to my new boss's son. Well I didn't know that at the time now did I.

"Well, I am sorry bout earlier, I also didn't know you were Dave's son." He looks at me and smiles.

"Oh, No. his not my Dad. I am his brother I do all the driving around for him, and you are forgiven a beautiful lady like yourself could never be not forgiven." His blushing. Jeez I didn't know I could do that to people. Well other then my husband. O Gosh. Aiden. I need to call him I told him the minute I arrive in L.A I will call him and Hadley. I miss my little girl; she's my world, my life, my everything.

We arrived at the hotel and I was ready to check in, the bellboy who attended to me, took all my luggage to the hotel room, for a small production company Dave Davidson are really going all out, I just hope my end work will not disappoint the poor guy , or he'll most definitely will sue my ass off. I have decided to do the movie but to tell you I have no experience or even an idea how I am going to fix this plot, the theme and eventually I have to know who my antagonist is going to be. When I got the hotel I got a message that I am meeting with the team of writers who's helping me with brainstorming, I know you may ask jeez Spence you a writer but you have no ideas about writing this script then what are you doing here exactly. But you guys will find out why I have no ideas on the topic at hand.

I enter the hotel room and went straight to my luggage to get some clean underwear and my toiletry bag out and entered the bathroom. Wow I must say the bathroom is bigger then my one at home. The shower is surrounded by glass in the corner and on the other side is a corner Jacuzzi. I open the glass door and run the water as I get busy to take off my clothes, I step into the shower and under the sprinkler the hot water on my aching body. I stay in the shower for another half and hour and took a towel from the nearby railing. I towel dried my body and got in a clean pair of boxers and tank top. I walk into the room, but before admiring my view of the beach not too far away from my hotel. I make a mental note to do some sightseeing as it is the first time I have ever been to L.A.

I walked around the bed to the nightstand and made a national call to Ohio, waiting for the receiver to pick. While my mind was off wandering I hear her voice.

"Mommy." I hear her squeal through the phone.

"Hey sweetheart are you being good for grandma and grandpa." I can hear her giggling as if some one is tickling the little beast.

"Yes, mommy. I miss you a lot and Daddy.' She says to me. I know that Hadley isn't Aiden's daughter biologically but I have never seen a man love a child that isn't his as much as he loves my little girl. That's part of it why I love him so much.

"I miss you just as much sweet heart."

"Mommy."

"Yeah baby."

"Are you coming back to me and Daddy." She asked me. Ever since I have lost the baby Aiden has slept in the guest bedroom. I couldn't stand the fact that his fussing

over me constantly like I am some kind of porcelain doll. My mind wandering off…

_Flashback: _

_I was lying in bed after I came back from the hospital a day after I lost my baby, I couldn't bear being near him he annoyed the heck out of me. I see him leaning against the door frame of our bedroom door. I turn my head and really look at the man looking back at me, so many thoughts run through my head, how happy we were when he found out that we going to have another baby, he was hoping for a boy I guess I was too._

_I stare at him and he moves closer till he stops at the foot end of our bed._

"_Spence? How can I help you when you don't want me or anyone else near you? Are is just the thought of me touching you repulse you that much." I kept silent and just go on staring at him as he speak._

"_If I could take this pain of losing the baby away I would. Just don't shut me out. It was my child as well. You hardly take note of the child we do have. She wants her mommy and I want her mommy back too."_

_I stay quiet again not responding as I see silent tears running from his green eyes. I know everything he says it's the truth but I cant let him in. I just want him to leave me alone. They would be better off without me. My mother came by and I did the same thing to her I shut Paula Carlin out of my life and I knew it will bite me back in the ass once I am well. But the pain of losing your unborn baby is too much to bear._

"_I am sorry Aid, but your pain and my pain are two different things, if you could get that through your head." I yell at him while my own tears start to fall. I got off from the bed and run into our bathroom and lock the door behind me. I hear his footsteps and banging on the door as I am sliding down the door to the cold tile floor. All I want is to numb the pain._

_I hear him say._

"_I will wait forever if I have too, to hold you in my arms. I promised you forever." and that's when my world when dark._

_End of Flashback_

I hear a feign voice through my thoughts and remembered my little girl were still on the line. I hear her call…

"Mommy, you still their."

"Yes sweaty I am here. I just miss you that's all. Tucking you into bed. Baby I have to go its getting late and you need your sleep. Goodnight my sweet girl." I say to her. My tears start to fall from the memory I just had. Since then I have really tried my best with going to all my appointments with my therapist and Aiden and I were doing okay now but theirs still something missing.

"Goodnight mommy. Sleep well." And I said goodbye.

I pull the covers of the bed open and climbed into bed with my mind wandering off into a restful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

I open my eyes slowly cause of sun shining into my blue eyes through my hotel room window as I wake up to hear my cell phone going off. I lean over the pillow I were snuggling with and grab the buzzing device.

"Morning Miss Carlin your chariot awaits you down stairs. Take your time I am not in a rush.' I hear Clarke through the device. I got up and took a quick shower, got dressed and grab my purse and cell phone and key card.

As I walk out to the lobby I see this girl, could be in her early or mid twenties, Gucci sunglasses perched on her face. I can see her from behind that she could be someone famous maybe a singer. I see her walking towards a girl a few inches shorter then myself. From the side it looks like they both had either just got up or just arrived from a jet legged flight. The girl with the Gucci glasses has light brown curls with red highlights in her hair. I can't see her face but I can tell that she is beautiful. The other girl has longer straight hair and looks…._looks straight at me and turned her face to the other girl. Out of the corner of my eye I see Clarke coming towards me probably wondering what's taking me so long._

"Miss Carlin, Dave and the others are waiting on you. We should leave now."

**AT DAVIDSON PRODUCTION**

When we arrived at the meeting Dave introduced me to a few writers I haven't heard of yet, he said he chose them from the list their agents send him a while back, but the one person's credentials that stood out of the list were well mine. I introduced myself to the other participants as we are actually or they discussed the new plot and who will all work on the script, Dave offered me co-producer ship on the movie. Until I found out it's not an actual movie but an independent movie, that will basically be about a couple who's from a small town in South Carolina and they have been ridiculed as sinners as they are from the same sex and they facing life in all hardships. My belief is never to judge are even being biased. You can love who you want, the heart wants what its craving and not me or any other human being could judge you on your choice.

After throwing around ideas. Dave and I went to the small coffee shop not too far from the hotel I am staying at. As we discussed my latest novel and the fact that his interested in making my book into a movie. Not too long I was sitting alone at the table having my caramel latte. Without looking up I see this woman bumping against my table as my latte spill all over my book I were busy reading.

I hear the girl saying she is sorry as our eyes lock I see chocolate brown looking at me with an adorable blush on her face. The minute her hand touched my arm I felt an electric shock run up my arm and down my spine. She so beautiful.

She saying something but I just can't take my eyes away from her face, she has this cute nose crinkle when she smiles. Wow. I am speechless; I don't like women not in that way but this girl has a spell on me. Answer her you idiot.

"What did you say?" I ask her.

I see her mouth moving.

"I said I am really sorry but I will buy you a new top and if I could make it up to you a latte."

I smile back and nod my head, but then I see this other girl grabbing on the brunettes arm asking her if she wants to leave. I couldn't hear their conversation because everything sounded like a whisper to me and I was in my own damn world as I see the brunette ask the waiter to get me a latte, placing her card on the book I was busy reading. I see the brunette leave without looking back. I pick up the card the same time as the waiter comes with a refill and cleaning up the side I were sitting at. I stood up and took my things and left the coffee shop throwing her card and everything else inside my purse.

On my way back to the hotel I went to the reception checking for any messages they said that a Mr Dennison called three times and asking if I could return his call, I enter my room and went straight for an ice cold water. Just as I was about to call Aiden I hear the phone ringing. I pick up the phone hearing the other person on the line being my husband.

"Hey I tried to get a hold of you whole morning. Where have you been?"

"I was in a meeting then went to get some coffee not to far from the hotel. What's something wrong with Hadley." Cause if there is I will leave L.A that instant.

"No, she is doing great. She's with Chelsea and Avery. I just wanted to know how you are, I really miss you babe." He hasn't called me babe in ages. Our marriage may be strain but I love Aiden. His my soul mate that I know but why sometimes when he touches me I want to puke. I don't know if its cause of the baby we lost. The therapist told me its going to take time for us to be us again.

"I miss you too. I think this time apart will help us both. I just want things to go back to the way it was before it all happened." I remember when I told Aiden I want to take a break from us, that I was going to take Jean's advice and come to L.A. she told me it would be best for me and Aiden in the long run. We have to think about Hadley and our constant yelling and throwing doors will just hurt the poor girl. I didn't mean for her to see us that day…..

_Flashback_

_Two weeks before I left for L.A._

_Back Home._

_I did not see her standing in our doorway with her favourite teddy in her right hand. Aiden came from one of his buddies house and he was drinking, he knew I couldn't stand the fact that his been gone since the day before and didn't let me know where his been._

"_I really hate you, you know that. If you are cheating on me with that tramp from high school let me know now!" I yell as I am shoving him whenever he tries to grab my hands from hitting him in the chest._

"_Do you hear yourself? I am not the one ruining everything. You are Spence. And she's not a tramp."_

"_So you are seeing her, you bastard a week ago you told me you'll wait forever if you have to, so what do you do, I don't want you near me you run to Madison, who's slept with every man in this damn town!" _

"_Spencer believe what I am saying to you now, I will never cheat on you. I love you, not her, she tried to seduce me but I stopped her before it got any further. I love you." He says in a softer voice. Holding me in his arms I pull away and the tears are blurring my vision._

"_I want you out my house are no I am going to L.A. I need time Aid. You and I aren't the same two people we've been a month ago." I turn around when he grab me from behind holding onto me._

"_Don't. Please. Don't."_

"_I have to for both our sakes. I need time to heal."_

_I got myself out under his arms as I look towards the door and seeing Hadley with tears rolling down her face. As I was busy walking towards her I see her run towards her bedroom throwing the door. I run after her and open the closing door as I see a small blonde sitting in the corner of her room, my heart broke at that moment and I knew that I can't hurt her. _

_I walked to her and bend down and sat next to her pulling her on my lap as I rock her to sleep in my arms._

_That night I stayed in Hadley's room and after that day I tried to work on my marriage Aiden and I both agree on marriage counselling. Hadley has been smiling a lot since then but, Aiden and I were still not okay, we were pretending and I took the offer to come to L.A. We will be discreet with our arguments when it came to our daughter._

_End of Flashback_

"Spencer will we be okay. You and me. I love you and don't want to lose you are Hadley. You both my life." I hear him say as I can hear his voice trembling not knowing on what I have decided or will decide.

"Give me time Aid. I love you, I really do, theirs not even any doubt in my mind but give me the space that I have been asking you for so long. Don't call me."

"What!" I hear him shout.

"Please." I ask in a whisper knowing he has heard me.

"What about Had. She will want to hear from you."

"I know and I will call her seeing as she's staying with my parents until I am back. I will never abandon my own child. She means too much."

I felt a tear drop falling on my hand as I was cradling the phone in my hands. Not knowing will I ever be able to be with Aiden.

"Okay." One word and I said.

"I have to go Aid, take care. Give Had a kiss from me when you see her later. Tell her I love her and I will come home to her soon."

We said our goodbyes and I sat on the bed not knowing what to do with myself after I picked up the phone and made a call to someone I thought I never would hang out with.

**Next on What Hurts The Most**

"**Cant believe you actually called me, Spencer Carlin. I am flattered. Must be my charm that attracted you are my awesomeness."**

"**Yeah must be that." I said as we entered the club. Yeah Spencer Carlin just entered a club. The infamous EGO. **

**Stay tune for the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4:**

After I made the call I got ready for a night out, I am going to paint the town red. I always wanted to do that, falling pregnant at 18 and doing night classes at the community college didn't leave me with that much freedom. I love my daughter she's the best part of me and I also don't regret having her but deep down I still wish I haven't been that stupid. Well I could blame it on the alcohol but yet I knew that being drunk and horny doesn't go together if you don't want to end up in your twin brother's best friend's bed.

_I have known Patrick since I was six years old and I never really liked him that much. He used to ask me out so many times and the poor guy got rejected every time._

_Then one night Glen invited me to a party at Patrick's house seeing as I were a cheerleader and they were on the basketball team. I got drunk, you may say I am light weight when comes to alcohol we don't go together._

_Well next morning I woke up tangled into a hairy person looking down I saw that I'm naked and the guy next to me is well my brother's best friend. A few weeks later found out I was pregnant my mom weren't to happy with me but when she found out it was Patrick's child she insisted me getting married but I told her no way am I marrying a guy who I don't love. Yeah sleeping with him may have been a mistake but something or someone beautiful came out of that one night stand. _

_When Hadley was born we were both happy to have a healthy baby girl and that's how far it went he was just a sperm donor in my eyes. He came to visit whenever he could get time off from his team. _

_Just before Hadley turned two he died in a car crash. They said he died on the spot._

_I raised Hadley for the first three years of her life until Aiden came into our lives. She started calling him Daddy I didn't have a problem with it. He was my husband after all, and he was okay with that. The two bonded instantly. She loves him and he loves her I couldn't have asked for more._

I was waiting patiently in the lobby for my ride to come pick me up. Until I saw this silver Peugeot 206 Cabriolet pulling up near the curb as I am walking through the class doors to the passenger side. I greet the person and off we went to a night I desperately needed before heading back to the madness of the following day.

We finally got to our destination as we both climb out of the car as we make our tread to the doors.

"Cant believe you actually called me, Spencer Carlin. I am flattered. Must be my charm that attracted you are my awesomeness."

"Yeah must be that." I said as we entered the club. Yeah Spencer Carlin just entered a club. The infamous EGO.

"I am honoured though I myself was bored out my mind."

"It's okay Clarke. Looks like we both need a night to let lose. Oh and I love your car must be a well paid job you have to drive such a nice car." He looks at me not impressing with me saying his car is nice.

"Nice that your description of my car. Jeez I thought you had more style then that. That is a freaking awesome car I have." I look at him as if his got another head on his shoulders, is this guy for real. Whatever I walk into the night club.

The minute I entered I smell sex, hot bodies writhing together as I walk further in between the mass bodies all around me to get to the bar, but before I get their I feel someone tugging on my wrist. Turning around I see Clarke smirking for what I have no idea. I see him staring off in the distance as two girls one brunette and a redhead is getting it on right on the dance floor.

"Why are you staring Clarke, you drooling all over the mouth here." I laugh at him still holding onto my wrist.

"That's hot."

"You need to cool off buddy. And I need a drink."

"Yep me too." He drops my wrist as we walked to the bar.

The barman came up to us taking our order as we both ordered Jack and Lime. Tonight I want to be free just for a second. The barman put our drinks in front of us and downed it in one gulp my drink was up and ordered another and several more.

I see Clarke starring at me but I ignore him as my own eyes are now falling on the two girls grinding into each other. Even though this club is packed to capacity and my vision it may be blurry but I can tell that, that brunette looked some what familiar to me. Just can't place where I have seen her. I hear Clarke speaking and turn my attention to him.

"What you starring at Spencer. You want to accompany me on the dance floor." I see him getting ready to get off the barstool but I stay put still watching him.

"What do you think I am insane to dance with you? And know I wasn't starring at anyone just thought I saw someone, must be my imagination." I slurred.

"So what made you call me then if you not going to enjoy yourself or do you just want to get drunk. Talk to me Spencer I can see something bothering you." Maybe I should talk to him about Aiden and ….then this brunette with the red highlights that I saw at the hotel then again at the coffee shop and now I am imagining that the girl dancing over there is the same girl I met earlier. I don't even know her name I never bothered looking at the card she gave me.

"Nothing. I am just…," it's her brunette that pours coffee all over my top and my book. Gosh! She's hot. Wow! Spence where is this coming from, you are not into girl's well woman. She dressed in a short black dress that barely covers her ass, with a pair of stilettos, her hair is well pulled up into a bun and her auburn curls are hanging loosely. Wow! No wonder Clarke was drooling earlier. The redhead had a light blue shirt that rid up to her belly button with a tight black denim jeans and a pair of jimmy choos. I see the redhead placing her hands on the brunette's ass, as they both sway to the music, it's like they in their own little world where no one exist just them.

I see the brunette's kissing down the redhead's neck as they both arch their backs. Not too long I see them full on making out on the dance floor. The brunette's hands around the other girl's neck and the redhead's arms around the brunette's waist as they grind deeper into each other.

Just by watching these two I could feel myself getting wet in a place I never thought I could by just watching the show these two are giving their audience. Part of me felt a little jealous cause I had met the brunette she gave me her card and I never bothered looking at it or getting at least her name. Stop it Spence get a grip on yourself. Back in Ohio there's a boy who loves you so much but here you are watching these two basically having sex on the dance floor I need to get out of here .

I stood up but as I'm busy getting out my stool I tumbled over my own damn feet I looked up and see Clarke standing over me and not just him, the brunette was at that exact moment at the bar coming over to see what happened. I see her looking at Clarke trying to get something out of him, but then she saw me as Clarke's arms went around my waist. Gosh! Why did I have to go and get drunk and then fall over my own feet? I see her mouth moving but I can't seem to hear anything as the music is loud.

Once I was on my two feet with Clarke holding me up, I turn away from the brunette and we make our way out of that club and away from the girl I had been thinking of ever since I met her.

Well done Spencer you just made an ass of yourself in front of the beautiful girl.

Clarke drove me back to my hotel and walked me up to my room, I feel my body being lowered down as my head hit the pillow and I was out for the night. In my drunkenness I heard Clarke saying he will see me tomorrow. And that's when my brain shut down. In a peaceful slumber.

**What do you guys think? How is it possible they keep bumping into each other but never get each others names? **

**Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5:**

It's been a week since that embarrassing moment at the club, whenever Clarke sees me he laughs. So I am the new joke in town. At least he hasn't told anyone else. It's like our inside joke. Dave kept me behind after a brainstorming session, asking if there's anything going on between me and his brother that if there is I should tell him and the fact I am married with a child. I just laughed at him and told him we just that good of a friends. So far he is the only friend I've got in this forsaken town. I've realised that almost every person working for Dave is fake, everything, from personality to smile.

Dave invited me to his house for supper his wife would like to meet me, and that Clarke will pick me up around seven. He told me that the contracts should've been done already but the attorneys were having some staff valuation and will get to him later the week.

"So what is this firms name." I hear him speaking over the phone. All I heard were Davies & Associates, some kind of family business. Father and daughter. Similar to what my mom and Clay has opened their own practice and well Glen is a coach for the local team of Ohio State. At least he achieved something in his life.

I left the office and went to see if Clarke were still in the building. I found him chatting up some redhead who looked vaguely familiar, just when I got nearer I see her walk to the elevator.

"Hey. Chatting up the girls again." He looks at me and smiles.

"Yeah I got myself a date with her, for tonight."

"Tonight. You are supposed to take me to your brother's house."

"Well, take a cab. All the adults use it these day." I look at him as if I am angry.

"I guess you right. Maybe you'll get laid seeing as you are uptight these last few days." I smile and walk out to see if any cab were in front. As I am walking he follows me outside.

"Spencer Carlin?" with a serious face.

"What?" I ask him.

"You did not just say that to me did you. I must've been in a dream where you Miss holier than thou used those words. Correct me if I am mistaken." I chuckle at the amused look on his face.

"Well you weren't dreaming and I meant every word. You have been uptight.

What her name." I asked him.

"Huh?" he looked really confused.

"The redhead you doing tonight, what's her name."

"I am not doing anyone tonight. I am just having a nice dinner with the lady." He says. I tilt my head to the side.

"Nice. Since when do you do nice?"

"Since I met the self absorb Mrs Carlin. That's when." He turned around and walked away. He did not just say that. He climbs in his car and drove off. Like I need him. A walk will do me good right about now and a nice cup of coffee too. I chuckle at the word nice. Self absorb my ass. His just uptight cause he has been trying to get me to go out with him and I said no.

On my way to the coffee shop I wonder if I will ever see the brunette from EGO, again. Well for my sake I hope not I won't be able to look her in the eye if we should ever meet.

I was sitting in the booth by the coffee shop having my usual black coffee and busy working on my laptop with a new draft of my novel. I emailed Jean about ten chapters and waiting for a reply. My cell phone vibrated on the table and I picked it up smiling when I answered it.

"Hello."

"Hello mommy." I couldn't keep the smile of my face hearing my daughter's sweet voice over the phone. It has become a ritual over the last week everyday at this exact time I get a call from my mom, but then Hadley is the one doing all the talking, which I don't mind at all.

"Hey Honey. How's school today."

"It's fine. I miss you a lot. When you coming home." I hear the little girls voice tremble on the other side. I wish I could tell her when but I can't.

"Soon, baby. I miss you a lot too. I love you."

"I love you too mommy."

"What you been up to today."

"We went to the movies, Daddy took me and Avery to go see, ICE AGE and he bought us each a toy." I can hear that she is at her happiest when she gets to spent time with her Daddy and her cousin. Avery is Clay and Chelsea's daughter. Those two together is a menace wondered how Aiden could actually handle them alone.

"That's fun. Tell you what when I am back me and you will have a girls day all to ourselves."

"Sweet. Mommy and Avery." Told you the one never does anything without the other.

"Sure baby." I smile into the phone because she just told me that Avery likes a boy in her class, at five years old they are too cute for their age.

We didn't speak too long cause mom had to go shopping and Had wanted to go with her to the shops. I placed my phone beside me as I am reading Jeans reply, not noticing the person walking towards me; I finally look up and see the brunette starring at me. Oh well thought I said I didn't want to see either brunettes. There are two of them.

"Hey." She said.

"Hi." I said back.

"So I have to ask."

"Go ahead, ask away."

"Are you that writer who wrote _The Three Women in My Life?_ Because if you are I love your book and want you to sign my copy, I carry it wherever I go. My sister says I am weird." She looks at me smiling then digs back in to her Gucci bag. I see her scrunching her face really trying to get the book.

"Sure. I will sign it for you." As she hands me the book. I can see why now her sister has been on her case carrying the book around. The book had its fare share of years let me tell you. I take the book from her as she's smiling. I open the first page where a small inscription of dedication was written on.

"To who must I make it too." I ask her.

" Davies."

"Okay.'

On the inside I wrote:_**To Kyla Davies. Losing your hearts desire is tragic, but gaining your heart's desire …it's all you can hope for.**_

_**From Spencer Carlin.**_

I see her eyes scanning over the words I have written. She looks down at me and smiles and says thank you. Before she turns back she ask me if I would like to hang out whenever I don't have anything to do, I told her I had plans that evening that I will let her know when I am available. She wrote down her cell phone number as I read it. **Kyla Davies: 551 6753.**

I punched her digits in my cell phone, after she left I gathered my things and left to get ready for supper at Dave's.

**In the next chapter I am skipping the dinner.**

**Next on What Hurts The Most**

"**Hello."**

"**Hey, Kyla. It's Spencer Carlin."**

"**Yeah, oh right. What you up to." She asks me.**

"**Nothing much."**

"**Me neither. I don't know if it's a better offer but I can do with some company, if a movie and pizza sounds interesting why don't you come over." She asked me.**

**I thought bout it.**

"**Sure sounds good, text me your address and I'll be right over."**

**We said our goodbyes and I went to get ready.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6:**

The inquisition at the Davidson's went well just the constant asking about why am I now using the cab service and Dave wanted to know if his brother did something, before I got to the Davidson's that night I got an call from none other then Madison, didn't want to answer the phone but the constant ringing drove me insane.

_Flashback : in the cab on the way to the Davidson's_

"_What do you possibly want from me Madison?" I shout through the phone.  
"Well I thought we were friends Spence."_

"_No, we not. We never were. And why are you calling me!' I shout again._

"_Stop shouting. I just want to know why you being a bitch to Aiden. His been so worried about you and you leave him and your daughter for what to get rich." How dare she tell me what I should do with my husband and calling me a bitch?_

"_You have a damn nerve you know that. I know you are trying to get my husband, but here's the thing honey he don't want you. He will never love you, so get that through your massive head."_

"_Yeah right with the way you been treating him I may just be the thing he needs to make him forget about you."_

"_Well you tried everything to get into his pants but yet you failed, he told me and what's going on in my marriage is none of your business." I slam the phone shut in her ears. Now I am just more pissed then I were when Clarke told me I am self absorb. _

_End of flashback_

I picked my cell phone from my nightstand and dialled the number I received a few days ago. I here the phone ring until I hear her voice on the other side.

"Hello."

"Hey, Kyla. It's Spencer Carlin."

"Yeah, oh right. What you up to." She asks me.

"Nothing much."

"Me neither. I don't know if it's a better offer but I can do with some company, if a movie and pizza sounds interesting why don't you come over." She asked me.

I thought bout it.

"Sure sounds good, text me your address and I'll be right over."

We said our goodbyes and I went to get ready.

I received the text while calling for a cab. I showed the driver the address. And my my we pulled up in front of a palace or well mansion if you may.

I walk up the path as I knock on the huge front door. Since I have been in L.A over the last two weeks I have realised something that the rich people live in mansions and the ordinary people well live in houses. Even though I am a bestselling author. I prefer to live in the neighbourhoods where I grew up in as a child and I want Hadley to have that same closeness I had with the neighbourhood kids and parks. I am from a very small town so I prefer living their then anywhere like L.A. About two years ago Aiden's firm wanted to transfer him to their offices in L.A, but I told him know, if he want to go there's the door. I am not uprooting my daughter from the only place she has known. Well he turned them down and started his own practice.

Everything turned out good afterwards. Without realising the door swinging open. I lock eyes with the kindest golden brown, a brown I have seen before but can't replace now.

"Hey. You came."

"Yeah." I say.

"Come on in." she steps aside so that I could enter as I follow her through the long hall to what looks like a mini cinema."

"So we have the house all to ourselves and my sister is out of town for the night so no one will come barging in." I nod as she directs me to seat. I can see that the girl seem to still be in her early twenties.

"Well I am glad to know we alone." I smile at her.

"Spencer."

"Yeah, sorry. Just had a long week."

"Understandable. So what does a girl like you doing in L.A.? I have read about you. Aren't you married or something with a kid?"

"Yeah I am. I am here on some business."

"Oh. You're an amazing author. I am glad I bumped into you at the coffee shop."

"Its kind of like my faith with bumping into brunettes in a coffee shop, even though technically you walked up to me asking for my autograph." I laugh.

"Do you get that a lot? Mean fans coming up to you."

"Yeah whenever I have a book signing at book launches or if I need to attend conferences. I am just glad I made some new friends here."

"No, its okay. I mean I am happy you here, I am not actually from L.A. I moved here about two years ago and have only made well two friends, who is my sister and her friend, Blake."

"So, should we start on that movie you suggested." I ask.

"Yeah, sure." She replied. She got up and when to put 'WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD', my all time classic.

"We need snacks, until the pizza gets here, I hope you don't mind but I ordered already after getting of the phone with you earlier, they should be here anytime.' I look at her smiling, she's rambling and I can't not laugh.

"What." She asked.

"You rambling and its okay popcorn will do for now, do you need me to help you with that." I offered. As she walks into their kitchen.

"Sure you can get the sodas or beers if you like. We have coronas."

I follow her in the kitchen as she shows me to the huge double door refrigerator.

"So what do you do? I mean work or still studying."

"I am a third year student at UCLA, in interior design, my family is not to happy with my choice of career, as my dad was once a rock star and is now an attorney, and well my sister followed in his footsteps." I was confused rocker turn attorney.

"So what make him choose to be an attorney if music was once his career?"

"Well my parents split a couple years ago, me and mom moved to BALTIMORE, my sister stayed with our dad. When they got back together my dad did the one good thing and gave up music to have his kids and wife together, his well educated man, but music has always been his passion. I stayed on in Baltimore hence the coming back to L.A, two years ago. My sister well she has music in her blood, but my dad made sure she had something besides music under her name. I am not musically challenged that's why I chose interior design." That's a mouthful I thought to myself.

"That's good that you chose your own path to follow in life and not what your parents want. It's the same with me, both my parents and one brother are in the medical field, my other brother is into sports and my passion for writing was a gift cause none of my parents can write one paragraph." I laugh as Kyla laughs at my explanation.

"I agree with you their. I have a feeling that we going to become great friends with your stay in L.A." we gathered our goodies and moved to the mini cinema.

We got settled and once the movie started we were done talking for now.

Our pizza finally arrived and we were having a great time at least I am. Even though its good to make new friends in this city, I still miss Clarke, we have not talked in quite sometime and I don't even know how it went with redhead I saw him chatting up before he drove away. Without noticing Kyla starring at me.

"You seem to be in deep thought over there Spencer. Anything you like to share." I nod my head no. but she's still starring.

"It's nothing really. What are you and your sister close." I ask her.

We are now just listening to some music as we still snacking off on the popcorn and beers.

"Not really, but we do get along though. It's just that she thinks mom hate her for the life she's leading and well I am me. The quiet yet overdramatic twin sister."

"Wow? So am I."

"Yeah, cool, she's the eldest. Tell me it's the same with you. Twin sister or brother." She asks me.

"Brother."

"So we both have a twin. Amazing."

"Yeah. So why doesn't she get along with your mom, if you don't mind me asking."

"No its okay. She's…..well she's gay."

"Oh." She looks at me worried.

"Good or bad 'Oh'." She asks me.

"Good. I don't have a problem, actually that's part of my reason why I am in L.A."

"What you heard my sister is gay and you came here." I look at her flushed face chuckling.

"No, we are busy on a project for gay/lesbian couples. But keep it under BILT. Before my boss gets me off the project. I need to interview various couples for my research.

"What about my sister and Blake." She says.

"What? Don't you think that's going abit to far, I mean I don't even know who your sister is." I tell her.

"Seriously have you not yet bumped into anyone name Ashley Davies yet. I mean you being a hot blonde and all she would've smelled you from anywhere." She says with a smug smile.

"I guess she doesn't have the right powers to sneak me out." We both start laughing as my cell phone start ringing, smiling as I look at the caller I.D.

"Do you mind if I take this call." She nods yes, as she got up to change the CD player and grabbing the empty bowl and empty cans.

"Hello."

"Hey girl, how's Lala land treating you so far, coming home anytime soon."

"Chels, you know I miss you and, to your answer when I m coming home, I can't say but I will try my best. How's she doing, while I am gone?"

"She's okay but you can see that she misses her mommy. She's always in deep thought when I get her from school."

"I miss my baby too. I want so bad to come home sooner. And Aiden."

"Missing you a lot Spence. Put the poor guy out his misery and call him before you know Slut face gets a hold of him." Slut face aka Madison. From the corner of my eye I see Kyla coming back in with two coronas and a bowl full of popcorn. She mouths sorry that's she thought I was done. I mouth back its okay and it's my friend.

"Yeah I know. Guess what?"

"What?" she asked me.

"She called me the other night telling me that I am a BITCH." I spell out for her. I hear Chelsea chuckling as I can hear my brother asking her what did I just say.

"Damn nerve. Spence I really think you should let him in you know. I mean you know that I lost my baby that way to but me and Clay got through it together. I am also not judging you. I love you, you know that."

"Chels can we talk about this some other time, I am not exactly alone now. I am at a friend's house. Call you later when I am back at the hotel." She agrees and I end the call on my side. I turn my attention back to the other person in the room.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean for you to hear all that."

"Its cool, Spence. We all have our tangles right. So what's your little girl's name?"

She came to sit back down on the seat next to me.

"Her names, Hadley. She five, blonde and blue eyes."

"Spitting image of her mother I guess."

I take the picture out of my purse as I am showing Kyla what Hadley looks like. It's a picture of her when she first started Day-care.

"Awww, she's to precious Spencer. You must miss her a lot."

"I do, every second of everyday. She's the reason I go on in this world. I wish I could have brought her with me, but with my schedule I didn't want to bring her, instead she is staying with my parents." I can feel my tears forming in my eyes as I felt a tear drop on the picture. Without warning I feel Kyla holding me in her arms, saying that I will see my little girl soon.

"Thank You Kyla." I say.

"No problem." I look at my watch its getting late.

"Its getting late I should go." As I was about to call a cab, Kyla offered to drove me home, even though I told her its okay to use the cab service. But she wont take no for an answer.

Kyla dropped me off at the hotel. I got to my room, and from being exhausted I didn't even bother calling Chelsea, as I went straight to bed with clothes and all. What a day, and what a week I've had, for once I want to shut the world. Not to long I was in a deep slumber the world can wait.

**Please tell me how I am doing so far. It's going to take some time for Spence and Ash to meet. Kyla is the link.**

**Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7:**

**Ashley's POV**

I am so tired ever since I started working with my Dad at his firm I have not seen Blake for almost a week. The last time I spoke to her she told me she had a date. I know you may think well if she's my girlfriend then why she is seeing someone other than me. Here's the thing Blake and I have been friends since we were nine years old. Plus Blake is Bi. Kyla never liked Blake but ever since she came back from Baltimore two years ago she's been hanging out with us, but the constant making out makes Kyla gag every time. I must say I love my sister dearly, she's my twin sister but sometimes I think she envy the relationship I have with our father. When we were 10 years old our parents split up, I stayed with Dad and Kyla moved with mom to family in Baltimore. I think both my parents were really childish to behave like that, remember that day like yesterday….

_FLASHBACK_

_I climb out of Mrs Taylor's car. _

"_Ashwy are we going to hang out tomorrow again, bring Kywa with." My best friend said. She could never say my sisters name with L in Kyla but Kywa, I used to make fun of her all the time. _

"_Yes, Blakey. I will bring Kywa with." I say mocking her earlier pronouncement of my sister's name. As I let go from hugging her I could hear the crying and throwing of glass inside my house. Even being one of the popular girls at school by having a rock star for a Dad and well known model as a mother my life is nothing but perfect. They say that nobody's life is perfect. Sometimes I wish I could take my sister and pack our things and move in with Blake and her parents. Mr and Mrs Taylor has always been nice to us, always letting me stay over, but Kyla is so attached to my mom that I wonder if she ever loves me. She never shows it. My Dad loves me that I know because he tells me that everyday._

_I see the car pull away as it only leaves dust behind. I walk up the front lawn as I hear the yelling from my mother telling my Dad that his groupies and whores are much more important than his wife and kids. Which I know she is wrong because my Dad loves me and Kyla. But being my mother she would do anything to rip this family apart. I hate her, for doing this._

"_You Raife I wish I never met you. Now I am stuck with you and your brats." She yells at my Dad._

"_How could you even call them that, they apart of both of us." My dad says back._

_I couldn't keep my tears in anymore as I felt my cheeks getting wet._

"_I love them but you never even here to see them grow up Raife. I want my girls to have a father. We not the same people you off on the road more then you at home."  
"I am doing this for us. Gosh? Women. This family is my life. Theirs nowhere else I want to be with then here with you and our girls. Don't leave me please don't take my girls from me." I open the front door and see my mom's luggage all packed with Kyla's next to hers. I open the door further as I walk in the lobby and not looking towards my parents and ran up stairs to my sister's room. I open her door and saw her lying on her bed sniffling curled up with her favourite teddy, snuggled up._

_I walk towards her bed and climb on the bed putting my arms around her as she turns her face towards me. I see my sister with long tears running from her face._

"_Ashy (sniffling) I…I... (Sniffling) don't want to go. (Sniffling) Please I...I... (Sniffling) don't want to leave you. (Sniffling) my tears start to get more and more as I hold her in my arms both crying. I try to get words out but it's all muffled._

"_I…I. (crying) will never leave you Ky.I… I … (crying) will always be here for you. I love you."_

"_Why are they making this hard, I want to stay with you and daddy, I don't want to go? _

_with mommy, please don't let her take me Ashy. Please." She holds onto me tighter as we both hear our mother's voice saying its time to go. The stubborn person I am pulls my mom's arms away from my sister to leave her. She pulls Kyla out of my embrace. She tells me that it's best she takes Kyla and I stay with my dad because Kyla is the youngest. By a few minutes only why can't she stay with me?_

"_I hate you! I hate you! I yell after her as I am running down the stairs after them. I get to the door as my dad try to pull me back but Kyla and I are holding on for dear life as both our parents are pulling us apart. My mom gets a hold of Kyla and she attaches herself from my grip. I ran outside after her and both me and Kyla hug the other as its going to be the last time we'll see each other._

"_I love you Ashy, remember they can never tear us apart, we are twins after all. We linked for life. I love you." She cries into the crook of my neck. Still holding on._

"_I love you too Ky, we'll see each other again soon okay. I love you. You the best twin sister I could have ever asked for." She kissed me on my cheek and we finally let go from our grip on each other. We didn't say goodbye. Because I knew this wasn't a forever. We will be together again. I fell to my knees as the car drove away, as it disappear down the road, I feel my dad lifting me up and carrying inside, up the stairs into Kyla's bedroom the only place he knew I could feel her._

_I hear my dad say…"I am so sorry Ashy, we going to be a family again I promise."_

_And that's the last thing I heard before darkness took over._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

That was twelve years ago. When Kyla were 20 she moved back home. My parents got back together when we both freshmen's, I asked Ky why she waited so long to return, sometimes I think she's disgusted that her twin sister is a lesbian. Our mother made my life miserable when I first came out, she caught me and Blake making out in my room. That's why I moved out on my own, Kyla is still staying at the house with my parents my dad started his own firm, Davies & Associates belong to him and I am the new intern.

"Penny for your thought." I see her looking at me with her brown eyes exactly like mine.

"Nah, just remembering the time mom and dad broke up and mom took you away from me, we never let go but in the end we had too. I remember you telling me …_"I love you Ashy, remember they can never tear us apart, we are twins after all. We linked for life. I love you." _She smiles as I am saying that. She came to sit next to me on the couch as she's leaning in and hugging me.

"_And you said… You the best twin sister I could have ever asked for." _

"I meant it. But why did it take you so long to come home after mom and dad got back together why didn't you come back to me. Were you." I didn't want to say it. I see her pulling back and looking me straight in the eye.

"Were I what?" she asked.

"Tell me Ashy, or I'll kick it out you." She says with a stern look on her face. As if she could.

"Were you disgusted that your twin sister liked girls, I know mom told you what happened that day in my room with Blake. She pulled Blake by the hair out my room and out the house."

"Ashley Erin Davies, why would I be disgusted by you. I love you no matter who you love. If mom has a problem with it I don't, dad doesn't. We love you no matter what. And for what happened to Blake was kind a funny." She laughs and I hit her on the arm.

"That's so not funny sis. The poor girl thought mom was going to kill her. She was scared as hell." I chuckle just thinking how funny it really sounds now.

"I am glad that you found someone. And plus now I don't have to worry you stealing my boyfriend." I had to laugh.

"Hey if I were mom I should be worried cause I hear you been hanging out with a blonde. Blake told me she saw you guys."

"Huh. We are friend's thank you very much. You know that book I carry everywhere with me."

"Yeah. I thought you threw it away by now, that book has dog ears sis.'

"So, well she's the author and she wrote something in my book." She looks at me curious.

"What?"

"It's a wonder you have not heard theirs a new blonde in town. You probably ran into her without knowing."

"I doubt it." their was this blonde in the coffee shop and then the one who tripped over her own feet that night in EGO, but it cant be her, I mean I gave that girl my number for crying out loud she never called me and I don't even know her name.

"Anyway I am inviting her to Gray tomorrow. You think you can behave yourself and meet my friend."

"Sure why not. I will ask Blake if she'd like to come with us."

"Awesome. I am glad that we got to hang out today without your lips attached to Blakes. Jeez you guys really need to keep it under PG 13 tomorrow night please Ash."

"Okay don't be so dramatic. I will be on my best behaviour when meeting your little friend.'

"Be nice Ash."

"Jeez Ky."

She stood up and went into the kitchen to grab us some beers.

"So, what are the plans for tonight? You've been quite busy Ash. How's the album coming? I can't believe you keeping it from mom; she's going to find out either way."

"Yeah I know, but for now it stays between you, me, dad and Blake."

"You tell Blake but not mom."

"Please Blake has been more then family to me then mom has ever."

"If you going to start with this mom don't love me bullshit I am leaving."

"Whatever. And I am done talking about it. You are staying tonight."

"Yeah." She sighs.

"Why don't you just move in here, I mean I got a spare bedroom that you practically made your own already?"

"I will sleep on it."

We got up from the couch as we made our way to our separate bedrooms. We hug each other and I wait till she goes into the room then I went back to the lounge to switch of all the lights. In all the years I still feel like I am responsible to protect my sister against the world. But I know she can stand her own ground, she's a Davies after all.

**That was Ashley's POV. **

**Pls review. It's easier for me to write Spencer but I thought its time we see how the character fits in the story, what she been dealing with in her life. Their will be more of her.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8: **

**Spencer's POV**

I just came back from having lunch with Kyla, she invited me to a place called Gray. Since I have been in L.A, I have been going out a lot. Just socialising and having the time of my life. She told me that her sister and friend is meeting us their. Maybe I should call Clarke and find out what his up to tonight.

Apart of me are feeling guilty that I never called Chelsea back or even for the way I am treating Aiden right now, but we need this time apart to see if this marriage will last. I just wish I could take my little girl and move to L.A.

Yeah I said it, there's so much I could do here, and I mean I don't have to work for Dave.

I could finally find a job as journalist and finally make use of my degree and raised my daughter and have friends like Kyla and Clarke who would be there for me. Then there is Chelsea, Clay and my niece.

_FLASHBACK T: LUNCH WITH KYLA_

"_So tonight we going to Gray." I look at her confused._

"_You guys have really odd names for places. But yeah I am in."_

"_Oh, Spence you need to let loose sometime. You only live once."_

"_Yeah and I have a child who needs a mother who's respectful. I don't have time for clubs, with Hadley and Aiden." This was the first time I ever mentioned Aiden to anyone since I have been here._

"_Spence really what the hell are you doing in L.A when you have a family."_

"_I told you, I am here for my book." Part of me doesn't even have the strength to go through with this. I miss my family my little girl. What am I doing here that's the question I keep asking myself but yet I am still here contemplating on things I have no hold over. I see Kyla stare at me curiously._

"_Don't do what my parents did; they separated me and my sister for six years. And since then we have never been the family we once were. I hated my mother. Please don't let your daughter feel that same way. Because right now you are running away from the problem you could've dealt with back home, yet you are sitting half way from the place that holds your heart." She was right I am running away without dealing with it. I didn't want to deal with the fact that I lost our son. When the doctor told me and Aiden it was a boy, I could see the sadness in his eyes. He was so proud of the fact that he could have a son and that our family was finally completed. I love him I do, but I know that theirs is someone out their who would make him happy. Who could give him the son or the family he deserves. I know that he will always be apart of Hadley's life and I wouldn't want it any other way._

"_I know, the minute I am done here in L.A. I m going home. So tonight I will see you."_

"_Yes. You can bring someone with if you want or do you want me to come fetch you."_

"_Don't worry I will get the place." Her cell phone went off._

"_I gotta take this Spence. So I will see you later then." I nodded yes and she off. Answering the call._

_I got up from my seat and made my way back to the hotel._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

I text Clarke.

**Hey how you doing, got any plans tonight. Spencer**

I pressed sent and not five minutes later my phone vibrated.

I open the text message. And see 1 received message.

**I'm good. What s the plans for tonight. Clarke**

**Going to Grays. You know where. Spencer**

**Sure yes. Cool I am in. want me to fetch you. Clarke**

**No its fine. I just meet you their say so sevenish. Spencer**

**Great. Cheers. Clarke**

Still holding the phone in my hand. I scroll down the letter A and stop on his name. Should I call him or leave it till tomorrow. I just need tonight for myself.

**Four Hours Later**

I stepped into Gray's scanning through the bodies all around me. It looks like tonight is open mic night. As I am walking closer to the booths on the right hand side, I feel an arm slide around my waist. I turn around and see a smiling Kyla standing behind me.

"Took you long enough." She said. I can see my new friend had a few drinks already.

"What. You said seven Kyla. I am on time. I see its open mic night."

"Yeah. I want you too meet a few people."

She's holding my hand and as I follow her I see at the bar is tall blonde guy. He turns around and I couldn't keep the smile off as its Clarke sitting their. As I am about to tell Kyla my friend is here.

"Spence who you smiling at." I show her with my pointer finger the guy sitting at the bar. I see him walking towards us with a drink in his hand.

"Clarke." I shout over the music. He came to a still stand in front of us.

Kyla let me go as I am throwing both my arms around the tall blonde. He holds so tight as he lifts me up from the ground. He finally puts me down. As Kyla looks at me with curious eyes.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." I replied.

We finally pull away from the embrace. Kyla still waiting on me to introduce the guy I just pulled apart from.

"It's good to see you Spencer."

"You too." I hear someone clear there .

"Oh. Kyla, Clarke. Clarke Kyla." They both shake hands. As Kyla suggest we should get a booth, because she don't want to miss the show.

We followed Kyla to a table with some friends of her. As I got to the booth, I was shocked. The redhead I saw in the EGO was sitting at this booth.

Out of nowhere I see Clarke grabbing the redhead and kiss her on the cheek.

"Blake." He says. Oh so this is the Blake. How does Clarke know her then? Think Spencer. Redhead, Clarke. OMG!

"Clarke. I can't believe its you. It's been what a week already."

He nods his head. Yeah it's been a week since Clarke and I have been hanging out. But this morning at the office we start talking. He said he hardly see me anymore, I have been hanging out with Kyla mostly.

"So you guys no each other." Kyla ask Blake. She just nods.

If this is the girl I saw dancing that night at the club, then where is the brunette she was with. As on cue. I hear a voice from behind me, well not to close but I will never forget that voice. That's the same voice I heard that day in the coffee shop.

I see Kyla move to the side of me as she is busy embracing the brunette in her arms. She looks over to me.

"Spencer!" she shouts. I turn around and their she stood. The girl who has been on my mind since that day in the hotel reception, the girl who threw coffee all over me, the girl who touched my arm and send electric shocks through out my whole body, the girl who saw me falling over my own feet, the girl with the prettiest brown hazel eyes. The minute we lock eyes again I knew that I was a goner. Up until this moment I didn't know her name. I see her smiling at me with a nose crinkle.

"Spencer, this is Ashley. Ashley meet my friend Spencer." I couldn't move. I was frozen in time. I see her take my hand or did I take hers, I couldn't really think straight right now.

"Hi." Jeez hi Spencer real smooth.

"Hello, so I finally get the name of the most beautiful girl in town." I see her chuckle as I feel my cheeks burn. Is the temperature turned up or is it just the warmth of her holding my hand.

"I am Spencer." I say. Idiot she knows that already, her sister just told her. I feel the redhead's eyes burning into the side of my face. Then I remember Kyla told me Ashley has been seeing a girl name Blake. The same Blake my friend Clarke went on a date with.

"Yeah. Beautiful name. I hope you are staying for the show." Before I could reply I see the redhead get up, and stand close to Ashley, throwing her arms around the brunette's waist as she pulling her into her kissing her neck. I turn around and to go sit opposite Clarke who were chatting to Kyla.

"I am sorry about her Spencer. She gets like that whenever Ash seems to be around hot woman." Not that I really care.

"I don't care.' I say. As I see Clarke orders our drinks. I think tonight would be one of those nights where I shouldn't get to drunk and make an ass of myself.

As the night moves on I see that everyone at our booth are having a good time, yet here I am sitting with Blake in between me and Ashley. Could this night get any worse. I try to get Clarke's attention but his rambling on and on to Kyla about some movie he went for an audition for. In the far end I see that Ashley is watching me from the corner of her eyes. She's listening to Blake and trying to make some kind of signal. I see Ashley jump up in her seat, at the same time Blake's left hand came from under the table.

"Are you fucking insane!" she yells at the redhead.

Ashley drags the redhead into the mass of people on the dance floor. I look at Kyla who is just nodding her head.

I finally get Clarke's attention and drag him off to the dance floor.

"Spencer what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just want to dance that's all."

I hear the DJ saying. "Guys grab a girl, girl grab a girl."

And I hear the music playing none other then Love Games by Lady Gaga.

The music start to pump, I have a few drinks in and I could feel the music pumping through my body as I am slowly moving with the beat as both me and Clarke or moving in sequence.

**Let's have some fun, this beat is sick**

**I wanna take a ride on your disco stick**

**I wanna kiss you**

**But if I do then I might miss you, babe**

I can feel Clarke's hands moving down my lower back as my arms are thrown around his neck.

**It's complicated and stupid **

**Got my xxx squeezed by sexy cupid**

**Guess he wants to play, wants to play**

Without thinking I start to feel him squeezing me, but I am so caught up by the couple dancing next to us. I see Ashley starring at me intently her eyes is scanning the hands that are currently moving all over my lower back.

**I love game, I love game**

**Hold me and love me**

**Just want to touch you for a minute**

She's mouthing the words without looking away, it's like both our dance partners isn't even noticing the way we starring each other

**Baby three seconds is in it for **

**My heart to quit it**

**Let's have some fun, this beat is sick**

**I wanna take a ride on your **

At the moment I felt something or someone licking my neck. I pushed Clarke away from me as I am standing in the middle of the dance floor.

Smack.

I ran out of the club and didn't turn around. I didn't hear anyone come after me. I was facing the railing with tears streaming down my face. I felt a hand on my left shoulder thinking its Clarke I was about to smack him again but instead I see Ashley standing their.

"You okay Spencer."

I nod yes, but she didn't take that as an answer and walked closer as she throws her arms around me and hold me, for a long time I wanted to be hold. By someone who cares and here is a stranger a girl I met less then five hours ago.

I pull out of her embrace but not to far.

"I will be okay; you didn't have to come after me."

"I wanted too. He had no right Spencer. No guy has that right to touch you."

I couldn't believe he'd do that, his friend.

"But he's my friend." I felt my tears getting more. I didn't want to have a break down in front of the beautiful brunette.

"Some friend yeah. Friends don't do that. Why don't I take you home or get some coffee." I look at her curiously.

"What about your girlfriend, I am sure she would freak."

"Nah, she would understand, plus I already told Kyla to take Blake home."

"If you sure." I say.

"Come."

She takes my hand and we walked towards what seem like a sleek black porche.

I stood still.

"What?" she asked me.

"This your car." Remembering how Clarke got upset after calling his car nice.

"Yeah." She opened the passenger door and I climbed in, she walked over to the driver side and started the engine and off we went. I looked over and thought how my night turned out. First I was invited by Kyla to meet her friends, well her sister and Blake, Clarke and I got to dance he became to touchy, me and the brunette looking deep into each others eyes while dancing, next thing I smack Clarke, run out the club and none other then my then nameless brunette is driving me to a coffee shop. What a night.

We finally pull over at the coffee shop where we first bumped into each other.

We grab a booth and the waiter came over and took our order.

"So, I finally get to meet the mystery blonde who keep disappearing." I had to laugh.

"It seem like we keep bumping in to each other and yet never got the other ones name. Until tonight."

"Well I gave you my card and you never called."

"To tell you the truth I never even looked at that card, probably still in my purse at the hotel."

"Wow, leaving a girl hanging."

"Sorry."

The waiter finally brought our coffees.

"So how did you end up with me sister?"

"Right here, asking for my autograph."

"Yeah she could be a handful."

"She's okay." I see her laugh, part of me still feel guilty of leaving Kyla behind in Gray, but I guess she understood.

"Don't worry she wont be mad."

"What?"

"You were thinking about my sister."

"Yeah and get out my head. We don't know each other that long for you to read me."

She just smiles as her eyes closes scrunching her face. She looks so free, nothing holding her back.

**The song is Love Game by Lady Gaga.**

**I was listening to that song while typing this story.**

**Pls review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Finally Spashley interaction….I know it took them long enough to meet.**

**Thanks for being patient though.**

**Chapter 9:**

Ashley dropped me off at the hotel I was staying at. It's been quite an interesting evening; I never thought this is how it will end.

Gosh? Clarke I can't believe him. I told him I was married why he would do that.

Then there's Ashley Davies the girl who has been on my mind all this time. To think she's Kyla's twin, it's like I know her already, after the incident at Ego I thought I would never be able to face her, just thinking back to when we got back from the coffee shop last night.

_FLASHBACK_

"_It took us almost two weeks to meet again, but I am glad we did tonight."_

"_Yeah? I thought after that embarrassing moment when I fell over my own feet I will never see, you probably thought I were a dork." I said, while she was smiling._

"_Never, I just thought who's that blonde sitting at the bar with a guy like that. I saw you starring though."_

"_Well you were to busy, noticing anyone with the redhead dancing with you." She is looking at me with that intense look she gave me earlier that evening._

"_I am sorry though, we just get lost in the music. Plus Blake is harmless we've been friends for so long it just feel comfortable with her."_

"_How long have you guys been together." Not really wanting to know. I have a feeling that the redhead is going to make my life difficult while hanging out with her girlfriend. Just the thought of them together gets to me._

"_Since freshmen year, she's my first everything, even though she's been seeing ass face on certain days but I am not bothered by it." I look at her curiously; if I am with someone that person should not be dating anyone other then me._

"_Why not. I mean she's cheating on you with my ex friend. I saw them together one day when I got out the office does she work in that building where Davidson Productions are situated."_

"_Yeah, how you know."_

"_Well I work their. I am here on business." _

"_Where you from."_

"_Ohio." Ohio. Back in Ohio, there are two people missing me. Two people I promised forever._

"_You zoning again. So that means in a few weeks you going home. Anyone special waiting for you." I see her put her hands in her lap. Then she lifts her head to look at me._

"_Yeah. There is." I see her body shifts deeper into her seat. "A beautiful blonde with the clearest blue eyes." I see her raising her eye brow._

"_Who?"_

"_My little girl." I can't seem to keep the smile of my face just thinking of my little girl. How I miss holding her, reading her bedtime stories. I miss her so much. Without noticing the brunette has wiped some tears that were falling from my eyes._

"_I am sorry, Spence. Why didn't you bring her with you? Now I understand why you can't wait to get home, home to one blue eyed blonde. Do you have a picture." I nod yes as I am taking the picture of Hadley out my purse. I gave it to her as she's scanning the face of the blonde girl._

"_What's her name?"_

"_Hadley. She's five years old going on thirty." I look at the smiling face as tears become more and more._

"_Don't cry Spencer I am sure this little one misses her mommy too. She's beautiful, just like her mother. Who's the father, if you don't mind me asking?"_

"_He's no longer apart of our lives. He died when Hadley were two years old."_

"_My Gosh? No child should go through that at all."_

"_I know but since then we've been one happy family. She's happy that's all that counts right." Happy because she has found a new Daddy. Should I just tell her I am married and that me and my husband are currently on a break and that I lost my baby. I think that's too much to tell someone you just met. But it feels like I have known her forever._

"_That's right. She's one lucky lady to have you as a mother."_

"_Do you want kids one day?"_

"_Not sure. But if I should meet the right person I may change my mind."_

"_You don't think Blake is good candidate." I see her laugh._

"_What?" I am confused._

"_Blake would never give up that perfect body of hers. Plus Blake is not the settling down type. We just have fun."_

"_You not all bothered by her seeing Clarke then. That's just weird you know."_

"_Like I told you we just having fun now, I am still young, I do love her I am just not in love with her you know. Like we can be with other people without the other feeling jealous." She shrugs her shoulders like its nothing._

"_I guess we different when it comes to love."_

"_Yeah must be. I am not going to lie to you and say that I am not happy with the way my life has been. But I have been thinking about someone other than Blake, that's why I don't care what she does. There's this beautiful blonde I would really like to know." She takes my hand in hers as she's wiping the tears with her free hand._

"_That's a lucky girl."_

"_What do you say we meet up sometime, other than coffee? Maybe dinner or hanging out at my place. Kyla is actually moving in this week, we could all hang together."_

"_Sure sounds great to me." _

_We said our goodbyes as I am getting out of her car. She waits until I am through the doors of the hotel before driving off. What a night. I finally met the brunette. And Clarke and I, I just never want to see him._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

I was walking into Dave's office not noticing the man standing near the window. He turns around and I was about to walk back out when he grabs my wrist. Holding on to it tight. I try to break loose but he seems to have a hard grip on my arm.

"Please Spencer I just want to ask you to forgive me." I am still trying getting my arm free he just don't let go.

"No Clarke. I told you I don't want to see you again over the phone. What you did that night was inappropriate.'

"I was drunk. We were dancing. I didn't mean it. Please. Just please accept my apology."

"No, just let me go." He finally let's go and I can see that his really sorry but it still does not give him the right to do what he did.

"I thought we were friends."

"I thought that too. Now I really don't care. Just stay out my way from now on."

"What will I tell Dave he finds out we not getting along?"

"I really don't care what you tell him just stay as far as possible. Because right now I don't trust you at all." I walked out of the office and in the boardroom. Dave called me saying that we are finally drawing up the contract today. I just want to get this over with. I was still deep in thought when I see Dave and none other than Ashley Davies walking into the boardroom. I stood up as Dave introduces us.

"Spencer Carlin meet Ashley Davies, the lawyer from Davies & Associates. Ashley meet Mrs Carlin." I take the hand that she's holding out as our hands touch yet again I feel that electric shock right up my arms. I see her smile knowing she felt it too. I see her frown a bit.

"So it's Mrs. Good to know." She says as she drops my hand and go sit at the far end of the table. Why would Dave do that, but I know I should have told her about the fact I am married.

"Well now that we are all settled. Ashley do you have the papers for Spencer to sign please." She nods her head and opens her brief case taking out the papers handing it over Dave, before he checked if everything is in order.

"Seems to be in order." He says to Ashley and handing the document over to me. I read the fine print carefully knowing I am about to sign over the rights to Dave for a period of time. I also know that from here on he can do just about any changes to the movie his about to make.

"Is everything okay Spencer." I see Ashley's eyes looking as if she has done something wrong. As if I am about to contest the document she has drawn.

Then she speaks but not directly at me.

"I assure you Mr Davidson, my father and I have followed every step you requested so I doubt their should be any problems regarding the contract. But if **Mrs **Carlin have any questions she is more then welcome to either talk to my Dad." She pronounced MRS while dragging it out.

"Everything seem okay not to worry, I won't take up any of your time. Where do I have to sign." I ask her. She gets out her seat and walked over to where I am sitting, hovering over me as I get that tingle in the depth of my stomach. Her perfume is so exotic that the hairs on my neck stood up. She points with her finger where I signed.

"Right Here." Oh Gosh?

I sign as quickly as possible to get out here.

"Well that's it." I hear her speaking to Dave, as I am busy to get up from my seat. Dave left the office after shaking both my hands and Ashley's. Just when I was about to leave I hear her call my name.

"Spencer." I turn around looking at her.

"Why didn't you tell me you married." I walked back standing still a few steps away from her.

"I didn't think it was necessary at the time. We just met."

"Still you could have said something. I bet Clarke knew and well Kyla. Why not me."

"I am married. Their you go. I just told you."

"Wow? Didn't know I will meet this side of you. Just when I thought we friends."

"We are friends."

I see her grab her brief case. Not wanting her to leave like this I grab her arms.

"Are we still on for tomorrow. I already told Kyla I will help her move into your place."

"Sure why not. I have to get to the office. I will see you tomorrow. Bye."

And she left without turning around. This what I were afraid of her finding out I am married. Since I have met Ashley I knew I want to know her. The person she is hiding from the world. I wish I had told her about Aiden earlier.

**Back at the Hotel**

I hear my cell phone vibrate on my desk.

"Hey. It's been awhile how you doing."

"I am good. Yeah it's been awhile."

"So how's everything going with the script I mean that's the reason you left right. It just feels like you are cutting me out your life. I have to hear how you doing from Hadley are your parents." I really have been ignoring him. I told him I needed time. The last couple days his been the last thing on my mind. A certain brunette has been filling that place. Where he used to be.

"Just really busy Aid. I asked for time."

"And you got that. Gosh? Spence. We have not seen each other in such a long time that I wonder sometimes are you still my wife!" His yelling at me.

"What going on Spencer. Please let me in for God sakes. I am sick of this crap. You off to L.A. making me think I did something wrong. The baby was both of ours; I had to deal with it on my own. I have to see a sad looking girl on weekends asking me Daddy when mommy is coming back!"

"I am coming when I am ready."

"No Spencer you don't get to do this to us. I love you. I am so in love with you that I don't even want to stay in that house knowing my wife is off doing who knows what, my daughter is staying at your parents." I hear his voice tremble and I knew he was crying. This whole situation is getting to be so much. I do love him, but theirs someone here that I am falling in love with. I know it's too soon but she's doing things to me that I have no control over.

"I don't know what to tell you Aid."

"Yeah I don't know either Spence. I have go bye. Make up your mind and let us know what it is." We ended the call. I threw the phone on my bed as I am sitting at my desk, busy working on my laptop.

"_**We go through life knowing that there is someone out there who we are meant for, the one who completes this half of a shell that we are. We love them for what they are, even though we have never met them, the way we know they will care for us, the way we imagine they hold us, the way we can almost hear how they would comfort us in our pain, and we take comfort in the knowledge that we will one day meet them.**_

_**And so when we finally do meet the person from our dreams, whom our souls have yearned forever since we gained sentience years before we can see them for what they really are , who we've been waiting for, and we love them."**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10:**

**Ashley's POV**

I cant believe that Spencer were the author that my sister were talking about and then I got a call from my Dad that Mr Davidson wants me to meet him and Spencer Carlin, I honestly didn't even know what her surname were when I met her that night in Gray. The fact that she's married. Gosh? I never even thought that a beautiful lady like herself will be single or even into women. There is something about her that I can't get enough of. I never felt that way about Blake ever, which is a bit sad because we've been together for 8 years now. It feels like a lifetime. Were I ever in love with Blake maybe when we first started out, but now we more like sex buddies, she's got her life I have mine.

Then theirs one hot blonde that I can't seem to get off my mind. Just thinking back when I walked out that office not even looking back….

_FLASHBACK_

_I was running late with my meeting with Mr Davidson, but luckily he was on his way to the boardroom._

"_Good morning Miss Davies." He says._

"_Morning Sir. You can call me Ashley, anything with a title let me feel like my mother." He nods and opens the door to the office._

_As we walk in I see a blonde lady sitting in one of the chairs her back turned to us. As on cue, she turns around and there she is, Spencer. I had such a great time with her the other night at Gray, with the accept ion of one stupid ass face Clarke, trying to make a move on my girl. Yeah my girl. I know a girl can dream right. I hear Mr Davidson saying something._

"_Spencer Carlin meet__ Ashley Davies, the lawyer from Davies & Associates. Ashley meet Mrs Carlin." I hold out my hand for her to shake and felt an electric shock go straight my arms down my spine, but something else that Mr Davidson said stuck._

"_So it's Mrs. Good to know." I drop her hand, seeing as the smile I had by seeing her turned into a frown. I could not believe she never told me. I know I just met her the other night, but since I saw her that night in EGO and in the coffee shop, I was attracted to her._

"_Well now that we are all settled. Ashley do you have the papers for Spencer to sign please." She noticed that my whole body language changed, as I take a seat on the opposite side of her._

"_Seems to be in order." _

"_Is everything okay Spencer." __I hear Mr Davidson ask her._

"_I assure you Mr Davidson, my father and I have followed every step you requested so I doubt their should be any problems regarding the contract. But if __**Mrs **__Carlin has any questions she is more then welcome to either talk to my Dad." I dragged out the MRS just for effect, I was also getting annoyed by her, making me think that she don't understand what's in the contract. I feel like walking out this meeting but knowing my Dad will be on my case, the other partners already thinks that just because I am the daughter of the boss that I get away with things, which isn't through._

"_Everything seem okay not to worry, I won't take up any of your time. Where do I have to __sign?" She asked. I get up from my seat and walk over to her, as I am bending a little over her I press my chest against her shoulder making her squirm under me, well not really under me, if she were she'll definitely would be the one writhe ring underneath me panting as I am working my magical fingers all over her soft skin. Mind out the gutter Davies. I feel her froze as her breathing became heavy. Still got it._

"_Right Here." I pointed. I can see that she wants to get out here because she's not even really reading where she puts her signature._

"_Well that's it." I tell Mr Davidson and then walk back to my briefcase gathering my papers together._

"_Spencer." I see her turn around looking down to the floor._

"_Why didn't you tell me you married?" She walks back in. waiting on her answer._

"_I didn't think it was necessary at the time. We just met." I know that but still._

"_Still you could have said something. I bet Clarke knew and well Kyla. Why not me."_

"_I am married. Their you go. I just told you."_

"_Wow? Didn't know I will meet this side of you. Just when I thought we friends." I was really upset that she didn't tell me, yet here I still want to kiss her. She is so beautiful; those blue eyes are definitely my weakness._

"_We are friends." I grab my briefcase and walk out, I feel her grabbing my arm as I'm standing their with her still holding onto my arm. This cant be happening I can't fall for her so quick. Every night for the last two weeks she's been on my mind, every time thinking when I will meet the gorgeous girl who's standing in front of me._

"_Are we still on for tomorrow. I already told Kyla I will help her move into your place." She asked. _

"_Sure why not. I have to get to the office. I will see you tomorrow. Bye."_

_I walked out not looking back. As I close the door behind me._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Hey, where's that head of yours?" Kyla ask me as she's carrying in a box off her stuff, I told her I will get the movers to do it, but being Kyla she likes doing things on her own manner.

"Nothing." Without asking I hear her say.

"She's on her way; she's been hold up at the hotel. She's currently working on her new book. I guess she feels inspired while she's still in L.A." I just rolled my eyes at my sister like I care what's going on in the blonde's head.

"Good for her."

"What's your problem Ash? I thought you liked Spencer I mean not like like but at least as a person. Or you just missing Blake."

"I thought you didn't like Blake."

"Its not that I don't like her, I mean she's been your best friend since we were kids. I just always thought you wanted her as a sister, you guys hardly invited me."

"Ky, you my best friend and plus it's weird when you say that Blake and I are like sisters. I mean we are sleeping together." I laugh as I see Kyla dropping the box while closing her ears.

"Eww Ash. Now come what's wrong with Spencer. Mean you guys hardly know each other. You met her at Gray for the first time, and you guys just hit it off, plus she's married with a kid." Don't I know that fact?

"I met her a while ago, but never really got her name.' I see my sister looking confuse.

"How?"

"I bumped into her table at the coffee shop our usual spot, and well not seeing who the person is at first her coffee spilled all over her top she had on and the book she was reading. I guess I was just too mesmerized with the blue eyes looking at me that we didn't introduce ourselves."

"You didn't did you." What this women talking about.

"Didn't what?"

"You wanted to hook up with her." I just shrug my shoulders at her.

"Anyway I ordered her a new whatever she were having and just when I was about to introduce myself Blake came up to me and well, next thing I leave my card with her and telling I will buy her a new top. Since that day she's been on my mind, and she never called me either. We only got each other's names when you introduce us."

"Wow."

"I saw her once in EGO with Clarke who I thought was her boyfriend the jerk. She fell over her own feet, I was right there next to them when she fell and I knew she saw my face, cause she looked at me. I still wanted to help. Next thing I know they gone, never to be seen. Until now."

"Wow? That's like fate or something. Lucky I met her and brought you guys together. But she's not gay Ash, she's married for crying out loud, please don't do anything, there's a little girl who's heart that's going to get hurt."

"Man. Now you making me sound like a home wrecker." We heard a soft knock on the door as Kyla went and open up and what you know the blonde were really looking good, dressed in a denim shorts, and a tank top, her hair was pulled in pony tail, my eyes wander down her toned legs. I can see that she runs in the mornings, with those legs that could go on for days. My mouth is probably hanging on the floor by now because both sets of eyes are starring at me.

"Ash you can close your mouth right now, I know I look good." What she's definitely my type of girl?

"Well hello?" I turn around as Kyla takes Spencer's hand leading her to where all the boxes been piling up. I watch as she bends over and my eyes just can't seem to look anywhere else but her damn cute butt…What I would do to just slap it. Mind out the gutter Ash, she's speaking to you.

"So are we okay, I mean after the other day finding out about me being married, I was going to tell you, I mean we becoming friends, but seeing as your eyes are about to pop out by starring at my ass, I guess we on good terms." She says with a smug smile, this blonde is really going to be the death of me. What I wouldn't give to just hold her.

"Do you want to talk about what's been bothering you." I offered. Kyla came back in the room with two coronas in her hands, she hands one to the blonde.

"Not really. I am just glad we are okay."

"So when you going back to Ohio."

"As soon as I am done here?"

"Today." She can't leave today.

"No, when I am done with what I was supposed to do here. Work wise."

I see Kyla coming to stand next to the blonde.

"Yeah, she's here to do some independent film about same sex couples, why don't you help her Ash. I suggested that awhile ago but Spence here didn't think it were appropriate seeing as you both didn't know who the other person were. That is really crazy you guys. For two weeks Ashley has been pining over a hot blonde she saw but never got her name or never got the call." I hit Kyla on the arm as the beer spilled a bit on the floor. I look up at Spencer as she's smiling.

"That's enough now Kyla, I think you had enough to drink, I am cutting you off." She looks at me not impress.

"You not my mom Ash. Spencer please just don't let her rub off on you." I will do more then rubbing if you know what I mean.

"It's good to know. The funny thing is I heard Davies & Associates from Dave, then Kyla said her surname yet it never clicked." I see her eyes sparkle, she's so beautiful. Will I ever be lucky enough to be with some one like her? Why she really here, doesn't her husband care at all. What's her story, Ky said she's not gay but she flirts with me every time she gets the chance and who am I to turn the flirting down.

Later we all were sitting in our lounge while Kyla offered to cook us something. I am so glad my sister moved in, now at least certain days I will actually eat more then just lunch in the afternoon, if Blake's not around I hardly cook at night if I say cook ordering take out.

I notice Spencer sitting on the far end of the couch as she's watching some Lifetime show on the cable. Another thing about the blonde is whenever I look at her she's always deep in thought.

"Hey. Are you okay over there.' She turns her face towards me and smiles.

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"Do want something to drink, cause I could definitely do with some wine." She nods her head as I get up and walk to my small little bar at the far end of the loft. I came back with two glasses of red wine and handed her the one glass.

I went back to my seat.

As the night moved on myself Kyla, and Spencer has drank out two bottles and are about to finish up a third. Kyla were seating on the loveseat as the night went on Spencer's head was laid on my shoulder, while we all just having a great time. Not to long she lifts her head from my shoulder.

"I guess its time for me to leave." She directed at me. I look at Kyla as I am showing her with my eyes to ask the blonde to stay.

"Spence you had a lot to drink why don't you just stay over, I mean you could share a room with either me or Ash, or Ash could take the couch." Nice Kyla, why don't you sleep on the couch I thought? She turns to me.

"Are you sure, that's okay. I mean I don't want to intrude." She says to me.

"You are not intruding. I will take the couch; I am so not sharing with Ky she kicks."

"No wait we can share, if it's going to be a problem with you." Gosh? What do I say before I know it my stupid sister said it for me.

"No, she doesn't mind, do you Ash." She looks at me with that don't you dare do anything eyes.

"Uhmm." All I said. And went to my bedroom to get some night clothes for Spencer and went to go grab my flannel pj's. I can't believe I will be sleeping in pj's so not my style but any way I want Spencer to feel comfortable in my home.

I see her enter the room as she is carefully closing the door behind her, then looking up and our eyes lock for a minute before she walks to my bed.

"Thank you Ashley, for letting me stay the night. Really didn't want to be alone tonight in a hotel."

"It's okay. Here some clothes to wear the bathroom is right their." I showed her to the door of my bathroom as she gets up and walk over with a little stump. Tell you drunk Spencer is really hot but I would never take advantage of a drunken girl.

I undress myself and put the tank top and flannel pants on. I walked over to my bed and opening the covers and fluffing my pillows, out of the corner of my eye I see the blonde standing in the doorway of the bathroom, not knowing what she should do next.

"You can get into bed don't worry I wont bite. Do want me to put something between us." Crazy Ash how can you ask that. Stupid stupid for a lawyer you are.

"Nah. It's okay. I sleep like the death any way." I had to laugh.

I get into bed as the blonde make her way over to the bed. She climbs in and I can feel her eyes burning in to the side of my face, because I felt her turn around on her side facing me. I am just lying here as still as I can.

"Ash do you think you could turn of the light. Please."

"Sure." Oh man. Oh man. She's leaning closer to me, with her arms around my waist; she didn't even ask me if it's okay. This is so hard for a girl. You guys know that tinkle you get when someone you really like a lot and they touch you wherever there's skin, yeah now that's the feeling I am getting her touch is so amazing. Please Spencer stop what you doing.

"Ash is it okay if you hold me, I am cold."

"Sure." It's all I could say, at least she asked. I should've just offered her another blanket, but her being in my arms, the smell off her vanilla shampoo under my nostrils; she's sending shivers down my spine. Gosh.

This is going to be the longest and the hardest night of my life. I should get a medal. Good thing Blake's out of town don't want the redhead bitch fighting with the blonde. I never though of Blake being the jealous type, cause we had rules and she knew that I wasn't completely hers, yeah we have been together for 8 years but in that 8 years she has been seeing both males and females, well I just go for the ladies. I have a reputation, but with Spencer it's so different I want to see her laugh, I want to make her happy, I know she misses her little girl, maybe she should go home.

But I think I am falling for the blonde, I never felt this way before.

I can only hope and hope I will, fate brought us to this moment. I will never let her do anything she doesn't want to. She's not even gay.

"Goodnight Ash."

"Goodnight Spence."

Goodnight love.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11:**

**Kyla's POV**

I know my sister is falling for Spencer just watching them as they send side glances to the other. Whenever Spencer gets up to go to the bathroom are to make us some snacks, Ash would get up and offer some help but the blonde insisted that she can handle it.

Maybe in another life I would've helped Ash get the girl, but back in Ohio there's a little girl and husband who are waiting on her return. Gosh? Then there's Blake who I don't really like, I think Ash can do better then her, she's been sleeping around since the beginning of their relationship.

I here a knock on the front door as I know that Ashley is not about to get up, and knowing Spencer is in there with her. I climb out my bed and put my robe on. As I get nearer I here the banging getting louder.

"I am coming already. Jeez."

I flung open the door and what you know green eyes are starring back at me, this so not going to go good. She barges through the door like she owns the place.

"Took you long enough."

"Whatever. What you doing here so early Blake it's six in the damn morning there's people who's sleeping still." I see her turning in the direction of my sister's bedroom.

"Well I just got home and wanted to see Ash, is she still sleeping."

"Yeah."

"Good maybe I could surprise her. I've missed her." Before I could hold the redhead back she walks straight to the door. Om my Gosh this is going to really turn out bad for my sister poor Spencer don't know that Blake's a psychopath and extremely jealous.

"Blake! Please do not open that door." I run after her and as I turn the corner she has already turned the doorknob and entered. I could hear the yelling of the redhead.

"WHATTA FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE ASHLEY AND IN YOUR BED!"

All I heard were Ashley yelling back at her.

"SLEEPING WHATTA FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU DOING."

I see Ashley pulling Blake out her room as they both entered the living room, Ash stares at me as if it's my fault. So not want to get in this little threesome.

I leave them and walk in my room closing my door as I hear yelling on the other side of the door.

**Ashley's POV**

I heard the knocking at the front door but with the way Spencer is holding me around my waist as she's afraid to let go I couldn't move. I hear Kyla's bedroom door open as she's saying.

"_I am coming already. Jeez."_

"_Took you long enough." I heard that voice and all I know is that this is going to turn out bad; I completely forgot she's coming home. Her first stop is always to come visit me in the mornings._

"_Whatever. What you doing here so early Blake it's six in the damn morning there's people who's sleeping still." Kyla please keep her away, maybe my twin can hear my inner cry._

"_Well I just got home and wanted to see Ash, is she still sleeping."_

"_Yeah."_

"_Good maybe I could surprise her. I've missed her." Before I knew I heard foot steps down the hall to my bedroom and Kyla shouting after her._

"_Blake! Please do not open that door." It was too late I hear the door knob turn and I saw her face. Spencer were curled up my side with her one leg thrown over me and her head on my shoulder, even though I have nothing to worry about, Blake is a very jealous person, she beat up a girl once in our senior class for flirting with me, I so didn't care if they fought over me, but this time its different because this time its Spencer and I would not let any harm come to her._

"WHATTA FUCK IS SHE DOING HERE ASHLEY AND IN YOUR BED!"

I jumped out of bed and saw Spencer's blue eyes stare at the redhead as she's about to pull the blonde away, I caught Blake's arm just in time before the punch.

"SLEEPING WHATTA FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU DOING."

I drag her out the room by the waist passing Kyla, I was now really pissed at her but I know it's not her fault at all.

"Ash what's going on? Why she in your bed." I could see the tears forming.

"We need to talk and this is not about Spencer." I see her sitting down as I sat beside her taking a hold of her hand. After the years that we've been together I knew that we weren't meant for each other but seeing her now with tears in her eyes really breaks my heart.

"Blake you know that I love you, I mean we are the best friends since we were nine." I watch her as she nods. I have the utmost respect for her, she's been more like family, all those years when Kyla was gone it was her that brought me out of my depression, she never let go.

"Yeah." She sniffles. I take my thumbs and wipe the falling tears of her beautiful face.

"We both know that this was never true love. We're not in love with each other, we both made a pack years ago that if either one of us find love with someone else they'd be happy for them, but here we are and you're acting like a jealous girlfriend." I know I am being harsh.

"Ash…w what you saying, that you love her. That I meant nothing, that what we had meant nothing at all, eight years Ash."

"It's not about her, it's about me and you, and we are not that people, we never were. Most of the time you were seeing other people and I let you cause I knew their isn't an us. Maybe there once were but there isn't now, I didn't want to hurt you, I said I never would but be realistic."

"Gosh? I can't believe you, a hot blonde comes to town and you want to cut me out your life, who says she's into you, huh. You so blinded by her beauty that everything we've been you wants to throw it away. I may have been with those people Ash but you were no saint at all. You slept around just as much. So don't go make yourself perfect for your perfect Spencer." I slapped her through the face. I try to hold her cause I didn't mean it.

"I am sorry Blake. Please forgive me."

"Fuck you Ashley." She got up from the couch as she's making her way to the door.

"I really loved you, but you are just a spoiled brat, that thinks she owns the world." And with that she leaves after banging the door. Oh my Gosh? Spencer.

I turn around and in the hallway stand the blonde with tears in her eyes, just when I was about to go to her she walks into Kyla's bedroom.

**What's in store for Spashley next?**

**It's a rule of life they star crossed lovers they always overcome the obstacles.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12:**

**Spencer's POV**

I was on my way to Kyla's bedroom, as I hear the arguing in the lounge. I can't believe she would think there is anything going on between me and Ashley. I guess I should've gone home. Maybe I should just leave L.A. and never look back to the time I met the brunette, deep down I know I had feelings for her. Last night when she hold me, her arms wrapped around me it felt so right, like its where I am suppose to be, but I knew that she had a girlfriend, but I couldn't not over hear their conversation as I am the topic of the agenda. I stood in the hall way so that they couldn't see me.

"_We both know that this was never true love. We're not in love with each other, we both made a pack years ago that if either one of us find love with someone else they'd be happy for them, but here we are and you're acting like a jealous girlfriend." I heard Ashley telling Blake._

"_Ash…w what you saying, that you love her. That I meant nothing, that what we had meant nothing at all, eight years Ash." Could she be, is she in love with me._

"_It's not about her, it's about me and you, and we are not that people, we never were. Most of the time you were seeing other people and I let you cause I knew their isn't an us. Maybe there once were but there isn't now, I didn't want to hurt you, I said I never would but be realistic." I could hear her cry as Ashley wiped them with her thumb._

"_Gosh? I can't believe you, a hot blonde comes to town and you want to cut me out your life, who says she's into you, huh. You so blinded by her beauty that everything we've been you wants to throw it away. I may have been with those people Ash but you were no saint at all. You slept around just as much. So don't go make yourself perfect for __your perfect Spencer." I heard the slap then I heard Ashley._

"_I am sorry Blake. Please forgive me."_

"_Fuck you Ashley." She made her way to the door and before she leaves I hear._

"_I really loved you, but you are just a spoiled brat, that thinks she owns the world."_

_Ashley turned around and saw me as my own tears starts to fall, before she could make her way towards me I ran to Kyla's bedroom hoping she's still awake._

"Spencer, is that you."

"Yeah. Ky do you think you could drop me off at my hotel please I need to get away." She gets up and walks towards me. Then we hear Ashley on the other side.

"Spencer can I come in." I walk over to Kyla's bed as she opens the door but not opening it wide, just enough for her to pop her head through. If it's not Aiden now it's her. Does she like me like I like her, this so confusing.

"Ashley I don't think she wants to talk right now, I am going to take her home." Kyla tells the brunette on the other side of the door.

"Ky please I just want to say I am sorry. I didn't mean for her to see that. Let me in." she tries to push Kyla out the way but Kyla steps in front of her.

I stood up and walk to the door.

"Whatever you have to say Ashley I don't want to hear. Kyla I will wait for you outside at your car."

As I walk out she grabs my wrist and pulls me towards her. We stand their as we both stare at the other.

"Now you know how I feel. Its soon I know but since the day I met you I knew you were the one Spencer. You can't fight fate. We were brought together and there is no way I am letting you go. Yes you married but I can see you unhappy so whatever you decide here on out I am good with any decision." I was still starring at her until I felt it, her lips against mine. She pulls me close as her hands moves through my hair, I held her just as tight as I feel her tongue asking for entrance, which I granted as I open my mouth welcoming her sweet tongue into my mouth, we stood there as time stood still and only the two of us are their standing in Kyla's doorway, I feel her deepening the kiss as she moves her lips softly but passionately. It was the best kiss I have ever had, not even Aiden made me feel this way.

The kiss went on for awhile until we both had to pull away to get some air, she lays her forehead against mine as we stare at each other, I couldn't keep the smile of my face, as she leans in again and captures my lips. I could hear a moan from either one of us. Before we knew we heard Kyla coughing in the background. We didn't want to pull away.

"Thank you for the show you guys, you just blinded me for life." I had to laugh at the other brunette. Here I stand with her sister not knowing what happens next because we both know there's a lot more to come.

"Thanks Kyla now leave us alone." She doesn't even take her eyes of my lips; I can see her licking her lips.

"Could you guys take this show in your room be haps." When I heard that I jumped out of her arms.

"What Spence?"

"I can't?" I say. Tears are starting to form in my eyes. I can feel them burning. I shouldn't have let her kiss me; I shouldn't have kissed her back. I see her looking confuse.

"Spencer don't do this please. Don't ignore what your heart is saying." My heart is saying stay, but my head is saying you can't go through with this.

"I have to go." Without looking back I take my purse and without a goodbye I walk out her apartment. Not knowing when I will see her again.


	14. Chapter 14

**NC17**

**Chapter 13:**

Ashley's POV

I can't believe she just walked out like that. I have never felt this way about anybody not even with Blake.

Blake I cant believe I am never going to see her again.

That kiss. It's the best kiss I had in forever; I can still taste her on my lips.

Gosh?

I walked inside my small music room my dad helped me set up. This is the only place where I could get out what I feel.

I started to play on the keys of my piano as my fingers starts to flow over the ivory keys; every key becomes a note as I start to sing.

Anytime you feel that you just can't hold on  
Just hold on to my love and I'll help you be strong  
But you're so afraid to lose, and baby I can't reach your heart  
I can't face this world that's keeping us apart  
When I can be the one to show you  
Everything you missed before  
Just hold on now, cause I could be the one to give you more  
Let you know

Anytime you need love baby I'm on your side  
Just let me be the one I can make it alright  
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart  
I can make it alright

I look into your eyes, and I feel it coming through  
And I can't help but want you more than I want to  
So baby take all of your fears, and cast them all on me  
'Cause all I ever wanted was just to make you see  
That I could be the one to give you  
All that you've been searching for  
Just hold on to my love, and baby let me give you more  
You know, anytime

Anytime you need love baby I'm on your side  
Just let me be the one I can make it alright  
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart  
I can make it alright

And now there's no way out  
And I can't help the way I feel  
'Cause baby you're the fire and I'll be waiting right here  
You know my love is real, baby  
Yeah yeah yeah

Anytime you need love baby I'm on your side, you know  
Just let me be the one I can make it alright  
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart  
I can make it alright, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Anytime you need love baby I'm on your side  
Just let me be the one (let me be the one let me be the one let me be the one alright)  
Anytime you need love baby you're in my heart (you're in my heart)  
I can make it alright

As the music fades I didn't hear my sister coming in as she sit down next to me laying my head on her shoulder trying to keep my tears at bay.

"Ash, that was really beautiful, when did you become a Kelly Clarkson fan?" I hear her chuckle I guess she's right I have never done a KC song before. But this song had so much meaning to my current state.

"I really do love her Ky, I know that its to soon, that we hardly know each other but the first time I laid eyes on her I was a goner, it was that instant rush of Love, whatever the hell they call it but that's how I feel." I could feel my own tears falling down my cheeks.

"Ash there is so much more that's going on with her, we both know she doesn't talk about it. Give her time are go talk with her. Be her friend." I can't be her friend but I think right now that's just what I should be, what I could be. What if she leaves L.A and goes back to a relationship I know she's unhappy in.

"What you waiting for Ashley, go after her if you don't you might regret this moment and never get it back." I don't even know where she is staying. Gosh? Why is she the hardest person I had to fall for? Kyla stare at me as she gets up from the piano chair.

"Go already?"

I get up after her, as she's wiping the tears from my face.

"I don't know where she staying Ky." My tears start to get more and more as Kyla take me in her arms and hug me.

"She's staying at the Beverly Hilton, Pent suite 204, under the name Spencer Dennison." I pull out of her hug as I look at her. "Spencer Dennison." I breathe out the name. I turn around to get dressed, when Kyla called my name.

"Ash…the song what's it called."

"Anytime."

"It's beautiful. She'll love it. And she'll love you just as much."

I got to my car and were on my way to the place my heart is, to the only girl that has gotten me to feel love. Just looking in her ocean Blue eyes makes my heart flutter, the way she stares into space, always having something on her mind. She's married with a kid, but I know that she feels something for me other wise she wouldn't have kissed me back. Blake was right I would give up everything to have her in my life.

I parked my car in the parking lot of Beverly Hilton hotel as I am entering and went straight to the elevator and pressed fourth floor PH204. As I am going up I could feel my heart beating faster and faster as my palms getting sweaty. The elevator finally stops at my destination. I got off and walk straight to her door. It's now or never Ashley don't freak out now, it's either this or loose her forever.

I lift my hands and knock. I practically knocked for more then 15 minutes until I finally gave up, accepting the fact that she must've left already. Just when I was about to leave the door opens. There she stood her eyes red and puffy from all the crying I guess we both look the same as I can feel my tears starting to burn in my eyes.

"Ash, what you doing here." She says so softly I could barely hear what she's saying. All I wanted to do is hold her in my arms and never let go. But I knew that is not the right thing to do now. Not the way she pulled away earlier.

"**Spencer, since the first day I met you, your warmth, your passion your heart all those little things you do, I remember the first time our eyes locked, the soft curve of your lips, I imagine kissing you then already.** But I know that if this is goodbye, if you want me to walk away and let you go back to Ohio, know this that I love you, I am in love with you, and I never thought that there will one day be someone so amazing and talented that will be able to tame the ASHLEY DAVIES, but that my dear you have. When you asked me a while ago if I ever wanted kids, I know I said no but if that person were you then I would want 20. Okay maybe not that much we'll never get our alone time. Please whatever you decide do what's best for you. I will love Hadley as my own, because I know how much she means to you and I ….." I was rambling but before I know it her lips were on mine as she tugs me closer, both her hands on my hip as our lips moves in sync, her tongue were asking for entrance as her tongue slid through my lips, I felt her moving back in to her room, as our lips never leaving the other, my hands cup the back of her neck as she's walking backwards until we in her room, still attached to the other.

We pull away for a second as we both panting and trying to catch up. Our eyes lock as she licks her lips and capture my lips, I moved her on the bed as she slides up to the head of the bed. I crawl up her as I am straddling her hips.

"Spence."

"Please Ash no talking." Having her under me felt so good I also couldn't believe what's about to happen, are we really going through with this. I start kissing down her neck as I suck on her pulse point, kissing down her jaw line. I could hear her heart beating faster underneath me as her breathing hitches. I lift my face up and stare at the beautiful blonde as she throws her arms around my neck and pulling me closer as our lips melted together I could hear the moaning coming from deep inside her throat.

"Are you okay?" I say into the kiss.

I see her nod her head.

"Okay." I breathe out.

I position myself between her legs as I moved down her chest taking of her shirt. Throwing it the other side of the room, I removed my own shirt. Before removing both our jeans. Gosh? She's so beautiful with her golden locks displaying on the white satin pillow. Am I about to do this? Jeez you've done this before Ash, but this should be special. This is her first time.

"Ash I have never done this before but I trust you."

I smile at her as I start kissing her again sliding my tongue through her welcoming lips, I can do this forever. I placed a hand on her lace clad bra as I gently rub the bud through the material, she lift her up as I take the lacy bra off her and lean back on the bed, I trail my tongue down her breast bone as I capture the rosy bud in my mouth as I am sucking on it, while using my other hand flicking it as it harden.

"You taste so good Spence." I feel her grinding into my hip as she's holding on to my hair. Oh Gosh I am going to die happy women. My wet tongue went back to the other breast sucking the bud in between my teeth biting on it. I could feel myself getting wet as I moved down her tone stomach, licking her belly button.

"Spencer." She looks at me with the darkest blue.

"Do you want me to stop, baby please let me know."

"Go on…. I hear her say out of breath. I cup her wet centre as I rub it through the material. As I slowly move down as I take off her underwear, just watching her, as she's lying there naked. I pull her closer to me as I shift my head in between her legs, my tongue slide through her wet folds as both my lips suck on the harden clit, I could feel her legs shaking as I keep her hips still from shaking as she holds tight on the sheets, I go deeper in her with my tongue as I found her opening, she taste so good…I could feel the ache between my own legs.

"So fucking sweet." I say in between licks. I pull away as I enter her with two fingers.

"So soft."

"ASHLEY FUCK!" she yells. "MORE!" I enter a third finger as I thrust harder inside of her I could feel her walls pulling tight against my fingers. I can feel that she's close.

"Cum for me babe."

"Ashleeeeeyyyy."

She came all over my hand. I pull out of her as gently as I run my tongue all over her inner thigh as I met with the sweetness that is Spencer. I licked up the essence as it's running down my jaw. When I was done I crawl up her glistening and sweaty body as I slid myself in between her legs with my head resting on her chest looking up at her. She pulls me close as she kisses me tasting her on my tongue. I see that tears are coming from her eyes as I cup her face wiping the tears of her beautiful face.

"Spencer." I brushed away the hair in her face.

"What's wrong babe. Please did I do something wrong." She shakes her head no.

"Then what?"

"Just that…that I love you so much. I have never felt this much love before." And she starts to cry again.

"Look at me." She looks at me.

"I love you too, so very much. Do you want to rest?"

"What about you."

"I am good. This was about you not me."

And we got under the covers, laying in the after glow of making love.

**The song Ashley sung were **

Anytime by Kelly Clarkson

Please Review


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14:**

**Spencer's POV**

_**Our souls are on a journey of its own, mostly I think that we're buried all the pain of the past. **_

_**It's like an echo, there's no one their but you hear this echo from your past, you try hard to change. But sometimes there's just silence all around you, you want to smile be happy but it keeps pulling you back where you once started, right at the beginning.**_

_**But you can beat it, you can shake off that feeling and make yourself feel wanted, we stumble and fall but when there's absolutely nobody catching you, you feel lost and isolated from life, of actually living it, the wanders of being alive, you could hear your heart beat faster and faster and you know that every heart beat you hear is another day of feeling alive.**_

I woke up the morning with the beautiful brunette pressed against my naked body. I couldn't take the smile off my face; she had made me feel so special. I will always remember this moment when we told each other that we loved the other.

I could still here the words, when she professed her love for me.

"_**Spencer, since the first day I met you, your warmth, your passion your heart all those little things you do, I remember the first time our eyes locked, the soft curve of your lips, I imagine kissing you then already.**_

I am completely and utterly in love with her there isn't even a comparison of what I once felt for Aiden. This is the something that I missed in my life. Losing the baby has really changed how I feel about life and myself, and maybe one day I could get that back. Here in my arms lay the person who wants to build a life with me but back in Ohio…I started to panic. I cheated on my husband. Ashley deserves so much more then someone who can't give her that now. I got to leave here. I need space to think. Stupid Spencer you slept with her you told her you loved her, you made her believe there were a future for the two of you. I see the brunette turn her face as she moves closer in my arms. I kiss her on the forehead. I slowly remove myself from under her as I see she grabs my pillow snuggling into it. She looks so beautiful, God am I really going to do this to her. Am I going to throw away a love like this, a love that I have been searching for, for so long? It's like I was in love with her before I even met her.

I gather my things and throw everything in my luggage. I walk over to the dresser and get clean underwear and enter the bathroom. It didn't take me long to shower and to get dress I stood at the end of the bed. Scanning every feature on her face as it may be the last time that I will see her. I will always remember last night.

I tear a page from my note book.

**Dear Ashley**

**I never ever loved anyone like this before not even Aiden.**

**For the last month since I have met you, not even knowing your name at the time, I fell in love with the mystery brunette, just seeing your nose crinkle when ever you would smile at me. Last night was special I will never forget you my love.**

**But there's a girl in Ohio that needs me. I guess what I am saying is that, I can't hurt her like I already have.**

**If one day our paths might cross remember that my love for you will remain the same. There is so much that I wanted to tell you but I guess the past is better buried deep down in my heart.**

**Goodbye my love**

**Love **

**Spencer Carlin**

That was a year ago. That day will always stay with me. Walking away from her was the hardest thing I have ever done.

In the last year I have not heard from her, I spoke to Kyla for the first three months since I got home to Ohio. I knew that she would be angry at me for what I have done to her sister, I wish now that I had told both of them the reason of me being in L.A. and the other reason why I had to leave. Maybe the way I left her was wrong, but I was in love with her and I still am. She didn't have to go through all the drama I have put my daughter and husband through. Maybe she should have never broken up with Blake.

When I arrived home the following day.

_FLASHBACK: __A Year Ago_

_I was sitting on the plane thinking of what I have done, how broken she will be when she wakes up and finding nothing but a note and rose on the pillow beside her. If I think back to the reason why I was in L.A, I never thought that I will go there and find love and then finding it and then walk away from it the following day._

_Out of my thoughts I hear the pilot saying we about to land in Ohio. Home. Home to one sweet little girl._

_I boarded the plane and went to get my luggage when I saw her. I could feel my tears streaming as the little blonde sees me and runs up to me. I knelt down and hold her as tight as I never had before._

"_I missed you so much Hadley."_

"_I miss you too mommy."_

_I stood up and pick Hadley up as she puts her head on my shoulder; it felt good to hold her again. I never want to leave her again._

_Aiden walked closer wanting to hug me but I pull away before he could, nodding that he could grab my luggage for me._

"_It's good to see you Spencer." He says._

_Hadley lifts her head from my shoulder and stares at me as she wipes the tears from my face. _

"_Don't be sad mommy, you home now."_

"_Yeah." I am sad because on the other side of this continent there is a girl who's broken, a girl I have broken, I never meant for it to happen._

"_Let's go home sweetheart."_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Mommy, there you are aunty Chelsea were looking for you." I hear Hadley says. She comes to sit next to me on the back of our patio as I see everyone else is enjoying them.

She takes my hand in her small hand, looking up at me.

"Mommy was you crying."

"I am okay honey, really I am." I pull her on my lap. As I see Chelsea walking towards us with Avery following her.

"Hey Spencer, you don't look to good sweaty. Why don't you go lay down for abit."

After I got home from the airport, Chelsea came by the house the following day, I could not keep it in anymore and told her that I have fallen in love with someone back in L.A, when she asked who he is, I told her it's a her, she accepted the fact that I was a lesbian, that I was pretending to be someone that I wasn't. The reason were cause my mother is a very religious person; the only other two people who knew were my dad and Clay. I couldn't even share that with my twin brother cause just like my mother his ignorant.

The fact that two women can love each other , that love has no boundaries, if you find love no matter what the gender is, you go for it, don't hold back on what you feel. After I met Aiden even before, when I was pregnant with Hadley I knew then that I wasn't into men, but with my mother I couldn't disappoint her, living up to her expectations. Maybe me walking out of Ashley's life saved her from meeting my mother. She would've found away to tear us apart, only if I let her.

"Chels don't worry, I am okay. Just a little tired but I want to spend time with my family."

"You need to rest Spencer. You should be the happiest person."

"What is happy really, tell me please cause I haven't been happy since I have come back a year ago, and now here I am, with the people I love the most, but why do I feel like I don't deserve to be happy, huh, tell me that Chels."

"It all will work out in the end; you'll find that happiness Spencer. I truly believe that."

"I still miss her; sometimes I wonder what she's doing. The other day I saw an interview of her on MTV; she really took her music far, without the help of her father. Some nights I pick up the phone and dial her number but never press the call button." Tears start to fall from my eyes as Chelsea let Hadley and Avery go play on the other side where they couldn't hear us.

"Then whatta hell are you doing here Spencer. If you love her and you know she loves you then what are you doing with Aiden." I burry my face in her neck as she rubs my back. Chelsea has always been the best she knew that I wasn't happy with Aiden, I stayed with him cause of Hadley.

_**Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. When life gets hard, when things change true love remains the same.**_


	16. Chapter 16

**AN****: I want to say thank you for all of you who has reviewed and made this story one of your favourites. I heart all of you.**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 15:**

**Ashley's POV**

The best night of my life turned out to be the worst memory I could ever had.

When I woke up that morning looking for my blonde beauty and my eyes fell on the rose attached to it was a note.

As my eyes scan the words I pulled the sheets tight around my body covering my naked body as the cold of her words poured through me.

_**Dear Ashley**_

_**I never ever loved anyone like this before not even Aiden.**_

_**For the last month since I have met you, not even knowing your name at the time, I fell in love with the mystery brunette, just seeing your nose crinkle when ever you would smile at me. Last night was special I will never forget you my love.**_

_**But there's a girl in Ohio that needs me. I guess what I am saying is that, I can't hurt her like I already have.**_

_**If one day our paths might cross remember that my love for you will remain the same. There is so much that I wanted to tell you but I guess the past is better buried deep down in my heart.**_

_**Goodbye my love**_

_**Love **_

_**Spencer Carlin**_

After reading the letter over and over as my tears pour over the words, I got dressed and left the hotel, not even checking if there is away I could stop her from leaving. I thought she loved me, that last night was a knew beginning for the both of us.

My tears were blurring my vision that I could hardly see in front of me as I am driving back to the loft thinking she would go back there. Wishful thinking I know.

I got to the loft as I ran up the stairs. I barged through the door as I was shouting for Kyla.

"Kyla!....Ky!" I shouted then I see her standing in the door way, she saw me and it's like twin psyche she knew that Spencer has left.

"She gone. She left. Oh God." She walks up to me as I fall into her arms. I was crying for hours what felt like hours when she spoke.

"I am so sorry Ash. She loves you remember that. She's got a lot going on."

"We slept together, she told me she loved me and leaves me a note. God? You don't do that to someone you proclaim to love!" I yell at my sister. This has been the worst morning ever how could she.

A year has gone by. Since that day I never heard from her and I wasn't about to call after her either. If she wants to be with someone who she doesn't love then let her be, but apart of me will always love the Blonde. She's all I ever think about.

Kyla told me once that they were still in contact but later on she just stopped having any further communication with the blonde.

Sometimes I would imagine her being in my arms, that night was so amazing. Making love to Spencer was my best ever, I just hope that it meant as much for her as for me.

"Ashley they ready for you now." I see Jake leave the dressing room just before I leave my Dad and Kyla entered the room; they have really been great this last year with getting my album out and starting my first all American tour that will kick off after this show.

"Hey Daddy." I walk towards him as he hugs me close and I lean my head on his shoulder. "I am glad you could be here tonight."

"I would not miss this for the world."

Out of the corner of my eye I see Kyla moving closer as she also hugs me from behind.

"We both here for you Ash. I love you and I am the proudest sister tonight. You're first single and you going to tour. I am so glad you asked me to go with you."

"You welcome sis." I see Jake pops his head in again.

"Ashley Davies please we need you on stage in less then five."

"Okay I am behind you." He looks at me then smiles.

"Come let's show them what a Davies can do." My dad says.

I say my last goodbye as I walk down the hall to the stage. Here goes Ashley. You can do this.

I finally reached the stage as Jake hands me my guitar. I walk up the podium until I reach the microphone. I stare out in the crowd as my eyes scanning every person my eyes could reach. Deep down I wish she could be here.

"Hey Ohio, I am Ashley Davies and my new single who will reach the stores before Christmas is called MY HEART BY ASHLEY DAVIES. This song that I am about to sing is called WHAT HURTS THE MOST."

The band starts to play as I stroke the chords of my black Dixon guitar.

**I can take the rain on the roof this empty house**

**That don't bother me**

**I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out**

**I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while**

**Even though going on with you gone still upsets me**

**There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok**

**But that's not what gets me**

**What hurts the most?**

**Was being so close**

**And having so much to say**

**And watching you walk away**

**And never knowing**

**What could have been?**

**And not seeing that loving you**

**Is what I was trying to do?**

As I was scanning the crowd just for one second I thought I saw her face, closing my eyes as I felt the tears fall from my eyes.

**It's**** hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go**

**But I'm doin it**

**It's**** hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone**

**Still harder**

**Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret**

**But I know if I could do it over **

**I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart**

**That I left unspoken**

I kept going not letting the pain of what this song means to me.

**What hurts the most?**

**Is being so close**

**And having so much to say**

**And watching you walk away**

**And never knowing **

**What could have been? **

**And not seeing that loving you**

**Is what I was trying to do?**

I could hear my band stop playing as it's just my guitar and my voice that I could hear. Why they stopping they should cover up the trembling of my voice.

The crowed are enjoying the acoustic version of the song. Out the corner of my eye I could see my father and sister as the tears are falling from both their eyes knowing that this was the song I wrote a few months after I realised that she's never coming back. That she walked out of my life like a tidal wave.

**What hurts the most was being so close**

**And having so much to say**

**And watching you walk away**

**And never knowing**

**What could have been?**

**And not seeing that loving you**

**Is what I was tryin to do?**

The end of the song came and my eyes were blurry with the tears that just don't want to ease up at all. This is for you Spencer my love.

**I'm saying that loving you**

**That's what I was trying to do**

The song finally ends.

As I bow down and thank the hundreds off fans that came to hear me sing. I dropped the guitar as I ran off the stage. I ran to the dressing room as I just want to have a moment for myself. Every time I sing that song I end up running of the stage. A year and still she's the constant memory I could never shed.

With out realising Kyla was at my side holding me close to her as I lay my head on her chest my tears soaking her shirt.

"Shhh, its going to get better Ash, you'll see." I could not answer her and just cried more.

_**What hurts the most is being so close to her and having so much to say to her. And watching her walk away. And never knowing if she ever felt the same about me.**_

AN: Please don't hate me for doing this to Ashley, love is never easy, there are a lot of bumpy roads but true love remains the same.

Song What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flats


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16:**

**Kyla's POV**

When I heard the band stop playing with Ashley on her acoustic guitar I knew this is going to be an intense moment for her. I never saw my sister so heart broken, cause when she dated Blake for all those years there was not once she would sing a song if she and Blake would have their little fights and shed tears afterwards. But ever since Spencer came into my sister's life I saw a different Ashley then the one I grew up with.

Maybe I should hate Spencer for hurting her like she did but I know that right here in Ohio there's someone going through the same thing my sister is.

I can't believe that we here, Ohio of all places. She hasn't asked me anything of where Spencer might be.

After Spencer left L.A. we spoke for a few months then later I told her that its best if we don't stay in touch anymore, I know she felt bad for what happened but what she never told me and then I found out later from her best friend that Spencer lost her baby a month before she came to L.A, and she's been distant, but the person I saw and became friends with in L.A were not at all distant, she would let you in but she'll still keep things to herself. I saw that they were going to fall for each other, if I could get through to her and tell her that she should come back.

I saw Ashley run from the stage as the crowed went crazy asking they want more. My dad wanted to go after her but I asked him if I could go. She needs her sister her best friend right now.

I see her go into the dressing room as her sobs could be heard through the long hallway of the arena.

What I saw when I finally opened the door was heart wrenching, every time she would play that song she would break down and I would come and pick her up, cause that's what we do.

I walked closer and she holds me tight as she laid her head on my chest her tears soaking my shirt but hearing her cries, made me cry as well.

"Shhh, its going to get better Ash, you'll see."

The day has finally come where my sister will go on her first tour. We about to leave Ohio after the show last night it was heart wrenching watching her cry herself to sleep after hours of getting any word out of her, it was all muffled.

Not too long Blake showed up at Ashley's hotel room. I never liked the fact that she's using my sisters vulnerable state to get what she wants; she's such a bitch sometimes okay maybe she's been like that forever. After Blake left that night after finding Spencer in Ash's bed she got drunk and got pregnant with guess whose baby. I'll tell yah, Clarke the biggest jerk you could get; I think they deserve the other just the poor baby had to be stuck with parents like that. Mrs Taylor took custody of little Jordan, she's the cutest little thing ever with blonde hair and her mother's green eyes.

I see Ashley coming into my room as she sits on my bed. In all fair she's beautiful but lately the rock star has been looking very pale.

"Hey." She says.

"Hey how you feeling today, aren't you psyched, it's your freaking first tour."

"Yeah." She sighs.

"Ashley what's wrong with you honey, are you feeling okay, you can cancel this show and do it some other time."

She throws herself on her back lying down on my bed; I went to lay next to her as we lay in stillness.

"I miss her Ky, every day for the last year I have miss her, and here I am in the same city as herself but yet I haven't reached her." She finally says.

"Do you want to, I mean do you want to see her." She turns her face towards me. With a knowing look.

"You haven't had you?"

She jumps up in a sitting position running her fingers through her hair.

"I haven't. Not yet anyway." I chuckle just by seeing her panic look in her eyes.

"Good. Come we have to go sis. This show isn't going to wait for us. You know what I mean." She pulls me up as I grab my luggage. Here we go again.

We stepped outside of the small bed and breakfast as the limo driver takes our bags.

"Come Ky, stop day dreaming about that guy you met yesterday in the lobby."

"Yeah, lets go." I say. I guess she's not coming anymore.

Bye Spencer I breathe out.


	18. Chapter 18

**This is the first time I am doing this thanks for all the reviews.**

**Keykey214 – **thnx for the reviews

**Locoscene93- **that wasn't the end my dear.

**Sonfan1604- **pls don't give up on her yet she'll surprise you**.**

**Me4son- **when I read ur review I was like aww you made my day.

**Snowdrop1026- **all will be revealed later.

**Sonfan200- **here's your update

**Faith Felix**- thnx for your support my friend

**Hpfreak09- **always a pleasure

**.HEART- **it's like you have predicted what's happening next good intuition.

**Grangergirl22- **thnx whit for the constant feedback

Well that's it enjoy.

**Chapter 17:**

**Spencer's POV**

_**I wonder do we all know where we belong. And if we do in our hearts, why do we so often do nothing about it? There must be more to this life, a purpose for us all, a place to belong. You were my home. I know from the moment I met you that night so many years ago.**_

I was standing in the kitchen making dinner, when I felt his arms slide around my waist on certain occasions I would lean into his embrace but right now I jumped out of his arms, when I turned around I saw his face frown. The first couple months I wouldn't let him touch me, we came from Chelsea and Clays anniversary party, I had fun that night just being with my best friend and my family, when we got home, I found myself pressed against our front door, it was the first time we had any intimacy since we lost the baby it felt awkward at first cause all I could see was brown eyes starring back at me, the following day I found myself naked in bed with Aiden's muscled arms wrapped around my waist, that was the first time and also the last time that we had sex, I had to pretend that I wasn't feeling well, later onwards he got sick of it and well he cheated on me with Madison. Part of me couldn't really be upset cause I have cheated on him as well.

"Why did you just do that Spencer." I walk pass him before I felt him grabbing my wrist.

"We've been here before haven't we? So long ago you walked away to L.A. and when you came back you weren't the person I was in love with, it's like somewhere you have left your heart." I look right into his eyes.

"I am still me." I say.

"Well you never told me why you never went to the premier of your movie Spencer, your first time at producing and yet you never went. What happened in L.A?"

"I told you nothing happened. I just didn't want to leave Hadley behind."

"We could have gone with you. You know I will do anything for you."

I nod my head, because I know deep down there's someone who I love, and that person is not the man standing in front of me. There was a time I thought Aiden was my soul mate the person I want to grow old with have a family with, but ever since Ashley Davies showed me what love is, the type of love that brings tingles and butterflies to your stomach. That night in my hotel room she showed me a world that I have been missing, I wanted her that night. I know we should've waited a while, but I knew that I was in love with her and she was in love with me. The smell of her coconut shampoo, her perfume that's smells like fruits of an exotic sort.

It was amazing and I want that back. I want to be able to feel her against me, her kisses that I couldn't get enough of. Waking up next to her. I can still remember what she said that night.

"_Spencer, since the first day I met you, your warmth, your passion your heart all those little things you do, I remember the first time our eyes locked, the soft curve of your lips, I imagine kissing you then already. But I know that if this is goodbye, if you want me to walk away and let you go back to Ohio, know this that I love you, I am in love with you, and I never thought that there will one day be someone so amazing and talented that will be able to tame the ASHLEY DAVIES, but that my dear you have. When you asked me a while ago if I ever wanted kids, I know I said no but if that person were you then I would want 20. Okay maybe not that much we'll never get our alone time. Please whatever you decide do what's best for you. I will love Hadley as my own, because I know how much she means to you and I__…………_

Aiden cut my thoughts off.

"Spencer. Spencer!" I hear him call my name.

"What!" I shout back before pulling my hand out of his grip. What is it with guys pulling me at my wrist and never wanting to let go. Ugh.

"You zoned out there for a moment." I look at him.

"I can't do this anymore Aiden. We…." Before I know it he cups my face and pulls me into a kiss. I reacted to the kiss for a nano second. I can't betray her even more then I already have when I slept with him. I pull away from him, taking a few steps back.

"Why did you just do that." I ask him.

"Spence? Don't? I told you earlier we've been here before, but we good now. This marriage it's my life. You and Hadley." He walks closer to me as I am moving backwards until I feel my back hit the counter.

"Aiden this." I point between the two of us.

"This isn't the same for me anymore. Have you even noticed that I am not happy? Have you ever thought that we together just don't make any sense. Gosh." I run my fingers through my hair. I just got to get this out before I chicken out again.

"I thought it's because of the baby."

"I lost the baby so long time ago, Aid. I have dealt with that when I got back the time away helped me, more then I ever thought it would."

"I am glad you got over it, we could start on planning for a baby again."

"No! That's not what I want Aiden. This…this marriage ended awhile ago, we just two people staying together because we don't want to hurt Hadley." He stopped me.

"No way. Spencer I love you. This is what I want, this family it's what we both want right." I shake my head no.

"I a m not in love with you. I wish that it was that easy for me to go back and take my heart back but I just can't."

"You can't. You can't what?" I walk out of the kitchen finally. As I was walking out I hear.

"Your not the person I fell in love with." I stood still seeing that he had visible tears in his eyes.

"Our marriage ended so long ago Aid. I have tried, Gosh? I was trying so hard to be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the best mom I could be, but deep down I am unhappy. I love Hadley and this isn't about her at all, it's about me being someone that I am not. There's someone out there who I love and who loves me even before she ever knew who I were." Tears start to form in my eyes as I see him raising his eyebrow.

"She!" he yells. Oh Gosh?

"SHE!" He repeats again as he come closer.

"Yes, she. I love her and there isn't anything you are my mother are brother can do about it."

"Since when are you….Spencer please tell me this isn't happening."

I walk closer to him but not to near as I take his hand in mine. He lifts his head looking into my eyes.

"I love you Aid. I do but for so long I have been questioning myself even before I had found out I was going to have a baby. I never dated guys before I slept with Patrick. Then you came along and I fell in love with you, I did. You were the type a person I wanted to have my happily ever after with. After we lost the baby I know I shut you out and then I went to L.A. the time away made me think about a lot of things I met this amazing girl. She was the only person who made me feel loved again. The type of love that we no longer shared." I could feel my own tears falling as I felt his thumb wiping away my tears. Aiden was the most caring person I have ever known, and he was more then just my husband we were great friends as well. He loved Hadley as his own. Apart of me knows that he will be okay. That this is the end of the Dennison family. I should've done this more then a year ago. Maybe she moved on by now.

"Don't let go, Spencer. Please?" he came close as he pulls me into a hug.

"But I guess if this should be the end of us." What is he saying? I look up into his eyes. The tears are now running from his eyes. For so long I have wanted to walk away from him and here his about to let me go, not even fighting.

"Aiden." He put his finger on my lips, as the tears came flowing from his eyes.

"You don't get to choose you just fall in love and you get this one person who is all wrong and right at the same time. But that doesn't mean that its not there. That it won't be hard either. Love? True love comes knocking only once, for so long I have thought you found that with me, that we were it. That we could overcome anything, but now I know what love really entails. Its not just romantic dinners and saying I love you's its more then that." Oh God. Breathe Spencer. This was the man I once was in love with. And here is the chance for him to be that person again. Deep down my heart is beating so fast in my chest.

"Aiden." I whisper his name but he kept stopping me with his fingers.

"I am not going to say that I don't love you, I probably always will. But I can't stand to see you unhappy. I make you unhappy and that's something I never wanted for you. That just don't sit well with me." he finally lets his finger drop from my lips as he threw both his arms around me hugging me closely as it's the last time he will be doing it.

"I love you too Aid." Then I heard.

"Love is making a sacrifice and I am making that one right now. You should follow your heart Spencer wherever it's leading you, but know this that I will always be here for you. You and your girls." I hear him say the last part so soft.

"She's your daughter too Aiden, you the only father that girl will ever know and love."

"Good. Because she's the only daughter I will ever have too. Go be happy Spencer." He lets go as we both are wiping the tears from our faces. I can't believe that this is over, that the life I have been living the past year is finally over.

"What we going to tell Hadley." I ask him as he walks towards the bedroom.

"We'll tell her the truth. We can't lie to her, she deserves the truth. I am going to stay at Clays'." He turns back around and go pack his things. I went to go sit down on the couch. I see him coming back into the lounge.

"Spencer." I look at him. With a small smile tugged at his lips.

"There wasn't a day that gone by that I didn't notice you weren't happy, here with me. I just am sorry it took me this long to finally realise we not happy together. At least I was but I don't blame you at all for this."

"Thank you." I say. He walks over and hugs me.

"Thank you." He says back.

"Why?"

"For a daughter." And he walks out of the house. The house that were once a place where we felt loved. A family, yet here I am all alone.

Goodbye Aiden.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 18:**

**Ashley's POV**

She was lying on her back as she watches me doing a little dance. I put the music louder. As my body sways, I could see her eyes getting darker as I strip myself with each piece of clothing. My hips were doing the most erotic moves I could come up from watching some pole dancer at the club. I can see that she's getting pissed at me for teasing her; I love to make her squirm. I get the kicks out of it.

"Ash stop it already."

I just smile as I slowly take of my tight short mini skirt, I tell yah it's so damn short you can almost see my ass, but I know she loves this one especially. I finally get rid of the piece cloth and throw it on the other side of her. I walk to my chair and lift up my leg as I slowly loosen the garter that's holding the stocking and my g string together; this is a show just for her.

"Baby please." I stick my tongue out and I see her moving near the foot end of the bed. I move closer towards her.

"Tell you what lets play a little game." I say. As both her legs swings over the foot end. I went to straddle her. I feel her kissing my neck as she whisper in my ear.

"What type of game tease your girlfriend." I couldn't reply because what she's doing right now you don't want to talk either she licks up my neck as her tongue sucks on my earlobe.

"No, we see who could keep there hands off each other." She looks at me like I am insane.

"Are you for real. No touching at all. What about kissing."

"Well yeah we kiss, who ever touch first loses, and the winner can suggest whatever they want to happen."

Her hands grab my ass.

"No hands baby, just your tongue." She nods. I lean forward and slid my tongue through her pouting lips, as each one of us trying to get the other one to lose, she suck on my tongue with her wet tongue biting it lightly with her teeth.

"You taste fucking good Ash." I moan into her mouth as I could feel myself getting wet, I am so near getting what I want. I feel her hands go around unclipping my bra as it falls in her lap.

"I said no touching." And laugh at her expression.

"Well you never said anything about undressing each other. Looks like I lost. Do whatever you want with me baby." She's the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on.

"Seeing as I won, this is what I want you to do."

"Which is?"

I can see the lust in her eyes, those hazy eyes that I could get lost in.

"Lay down babe, you my bitch from now till I am done."

"Bitch." She says and lay back as I straddle her as I bent down and kissing up her neck making a mark wherever my tongue finds an opening. I unbutton her shirt getting all the buttons done in less then a minute. Gosh? She smells so fucking good.

"Baby open your eyes for me." she does as I say. Finally I rid her of her shirt and bra; I lean over her as I push her up towards the bed, still sitting on her lap my legs either side of her. I take the one breast in my hand as I bring it close to my mouth, her nipple feels so good in my mouth as it runs around the bud, making it harder, I use my free hand to flicker the exposing one, I left the one in my mouth and moved to the other one.

"Fuck, that feels so good." I look up at her as I can see my baby is getting agitated by all the teasing. My bare breast presses against hers, as I move up to capture her swollen lips, mmmmhhh.

"I know?" I say in a soft whisper against her lips. I see her wiggle under me as she is trying to get rid of her jeans, I help her take it off and with that both our underwear were scattered. I lay on top of her as our lips moved in sync. Gosh? I could feel her getting wet as both our clits connect with each other. My god this women drives me up the wall and back down, she is now slowly moving her hips grinding into me. I lift my head to look into her eyes. My hands were on either side of her head as I stroke some strain hair out her face.

"Baby….next thing I know she flip us over she now on top of me, this is so hot. She hovers over me as I grab her by the hips, my fingers grazing her skin up and down.

"Who's in charge now?" She says with a sly grin. I don't mine her being on top of me because it feels so fucking good.

She moves down to my breast as she run her wet tongue around the bud, as she squeeze the other one gently then go and run her tongue there. I grab her hands as I can no longer take this teasing anymore.

"Please no teasing." She lifts her head.

"Now you know how it feels." She comes back up and captures my lips that have been missing her tongue; I take her hand and move it downwards, the ache between my legs can't stand the teasing anymore. She finally gets the hint; I can feel her hand moving down as her finger nails are running up and down my inner thigh.

"Fuck. Come on already. Are I will explode." Just her gentle touch could do things to my sensitive skin. Her touches are so addictive.

Then I felt it, her hand cupped my wet centre.

"Need…you…now. Gosh?" before I know she entered me with two fingers, her fingers were slowly moving inside of me.

"So wet baby."

Fuck it I need more.

"Please go faster, more… I say.

She takes a third finger and thrust harder in me I could feel her smearing her wetness all over my thigh. Looks like my baby couldn't wait for me to do it for her, as she's moving her fingers inside me; I push her hand to go deeper.

"Any deeper I will have you over the wall babe." She says. Fuck I don't want to talk now.

"FUCK….THERE RIGHT THERE, MORE…HARDER!

She does as I say as I could feel I am close.

"You feel so soft baby. Cum for Me." she whisper in my ear as my skin were on fire by her. She strokes her thumb over my clit and I lost all control as my body shaking from the high.

She entered one more finger and I was gone.

"Cum for me babe." She says and I came all over her hand, she's still inside of me as we are both riding out my orgasm.

"Spence. Spence…fuck…aahhhhh." I bit my tongue as I feel her pull out of me as she fall on top of me both glistening with sweaty bodies tangled as one.

"I love you Spencer."

"Ashley! Ashley! Wake fucking up." Who is that? Where's my blonde beauty.

I feel someone nudge me but I am yet to open my eyes.

"I know you a wake. Fucking wake up!" I hear the voice, that's not Spencer. It was fucking dream. Gosh it felt so real and so fucking amazing. She's even better in my dreams.

I open my eye to see who the person is.

"Wake up." She says. Both my eyes were open as the sun hit my face, I groan at the person lying next to me.

"What do you want." I say.

"What I want, you fucking called her name while breathing hard."

"So. I need to breathe are I will die if I don't." I say.

"Spencer, you were having a dream of her in my fucking bed." She jumps out the bed as I do the same grabbing my clothes that were scattered all over her bedroom floor. The tour was finally over before I leave for Sydney, Australia in the next month. I got back and went to EGO and bumped into my long time ex best friend and well I was drunk she was drunk we got to her place knowing her daughter is staying with her grandparents.

"You never got over her have you, I mean it's been a year almost two, and here we are again." She's right I am not over her even if I want to try; I just know that one day I will see her again.

"Blake, you knew this before we jumped into bed. This is what we do. We hook up that's it, we not getting back together."

"Fuck you Ash, you just use women."

"At least I am not the slut who got pregnant by Spencer's ex friend." I felt her hand against my cheek then storming out of the room. Guess this is my cue to leave. I picked up my shoes and left her house.

Wow! That dream, this is not the first one, I have been dreaming about her ever since I left Ohio. I should have called, apart of me hoped that Kyla would be the one to call her, even though I gave her a lot of crap about not wanting to see her at all, but who am I proving wrong here, I love her. Sometimes when I think about it, if she never left me that morning or if I were awake, I would never have let her go. Maybe I would've gone with her.

Months after she left I received an invite from Dave to the premier of her movie, thinking she'll be there, I went just to see her if its only from a far, but she never showed up, Dave made a whole speech on why she couldn't come.

She's probably happy with her life being Mrs Dennison. That's when I started sleeping around with a string of lady fans. Who am I kidding I am ASHLEY DAVIES; I could have any girl I want.

They aren't Spencer that ocean blue eyes that I could look into for the rest of my life. I want her back, but where do I start. She's got a whole family back in Ohio, and here I am sitting in my loft with music blaring through my speakers and drinking a half bottle of bourbon. Kyla left earlier to go on a date my mother set her up with some model. She says she wants Kyla to start dating cause hanging around me she might turn gay too, how stupid can that women be. Like anyone can turn someone gay. Maybe my mother was gay, just think about it Christine is a whore, she cheated on my dad even before we were born, and I hate her. My dad and Kyla are my only family, stupid Blake. I hate her too.

"So do I get to join this little pity party you throwing." I turn around. And there she is. My little sister, just don't tell her that. She believes that we are less then a minute apart, which my dad told me Kyla came a half an hour later cause my selfish mother wanted to take a breather, poor girl could've suffocated, anyone who had to live with Christine would want to jump out of her under just thinking about it gives me the creeps.

"Well didn't you have a date tonight its nine only." She blew her brown locks out her eyes.

"He was boring, I almost fell asleep."

She gets another glass from the cabinet and pours some bourbon in her glass.

"So you told him you want to sleep." She does, I mean once she told this guy that her teacher told her to go sleep early cause she fell asleep whenever it gets to his class, I can imagine how that dude were looking at my sister, Kyla can come up with the weirdest stuff.

"No, I told him, my sister is heart broken and I need to go see if she didn't kill herself by now." I push her off the chair but before she almost fell I grab her by the waist pulling her up the stool again.

"Why would you say that I won't kill myself, unless we blame Blake?" She raise her eyebrow, the mentioning of Blake's name always ticks Kyla off. Those two hate each other.

"What happened with you two last night after you left with her, oh I don't really want to know."

"Well she kicked me out this morning though."

"Why?"

"Spencer?" she's smiling just the mentioning of the blondes name.

"Spencer." She repeats as she takes a sip of her drink.

"Yeah?"

"Okay but I don't get it. What about her."

"Called out her name in my sleep." She starts to laugh as the bourbon spill on the countertops of our kitchen.

"You what?" she says as she grabs the cloth that was hanging over the railing behind her.

"You heard me, Blake wasn't too happy about that though."

"Who can blame the poor girl, she still wants you and your heart is thousand of miles away." She starts to have this expression on her face.

"Do you think we'll ever see her again, besides you being in love with her, she was my friend to you know?"

"I know me too."

"I called her that day, while we were in Ohio, but she never showed I left a message because no one picked up; I was hoping she could've heard that song Ash." I could feel my eyes burn of the unshed tears that wants to spill but I am tired of crying for something, for hoping, for holding on to a dream that may never come through.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Gosh? This was hard to write for me, I had tears coming, seriously. The relationship between Aiden & Hadley takes me back to when my dad left.**

**I know my hands are still hurting but this chapter needed to be written.**

**Enjoy**

**Chapter 19:**

**Spencer's POV**

A year, a year went by and here I am finally living the life I always wanted. To find that happiness again.

Aiden filed for divorce the following day. I know that this was the last thing he ever wanted; we weren't that people and he accepted that, he gave me his blessing to search for that love that I walked away from so long ago.

"Hey Spence do you have a minute to talk." I turn around and see him standing in the doorway of our bedroom, well which once was. I was busy packing my stuff in boxes.

"Sure, come on in." I drop what I was doing as I sat down on the bed and he came to sit next to me leaving space between us. I look at him and I could see that this is breaking his heart into million pieces.

"I was thinking, after you move will I get to come visit my daughter. I mean her birthday is coming up next month and I promised her that we'll have a whole day together." His going to miss my little girl I know that.

"Off course you know I will never keep you two apart. We aren't moving to another continent just another city."

"Yeah I know." He sighs. When we told Hadley that we moving away the first thing she asked is Daddy coming with.

_FLASHBACK:_

"_Are you ready to do this Spence." He asked me. I nod my head and we walked to the little blonde's bedroom. I knocked and turn the door knob, she was sitting at her small desk with her crayons and busy drawing, I can notice by the expression on her small face and the tongue slightly turn to the corner that she was in deep concentration. We walk closer to her but not to near when Aiden spoke up._

"_Hone__y.", he knelt down the level of the small desk. She looks towards him._

"_Daddy." She throws her small little arms around him laying her head on his shoulder, looking at me standing there._

"_Where were you this morning, I woke up and you weren't here." He pulls her into his lap. She picks up the drawing, it was a picture of the two of them with a writing "The Best Daddy" underneath. My tears start to burn in my eyes. I bent down and sit next to the both of them._

"_I got you something." She holds it up and gives it to her father, Aiden turns to face me and I smile at him. This is going to hard I know but we have to tell her._

"_Honey I love it thank you. You are daddy's little princess." She smiles at him with her big blue eyes. "I love you too daddy." _

"_And what about me sweaty." I pout at her. She crawls out her dad's lap and hug me._

"_I love you too mommy." She says._

"_Baby mommy and I need to talk to you about something." Aiden finally says, because I don't know where to start. She looks at me and then at her father._

"_Mommy and I aren't going to live with each other anymore." I see that the smile she had turned into a frown._

"_Why not. Like Kaylin's mommy and daddy." She asked me._

"_Yes baby like Kaylin's parents." She buries her head into Aiden's chest._

"_But know this we love you no matter what. You going to live with mommy in a beautiful house and daddy will come visit as often." He continued._

"_But why, we can stay here."_

"_Honey I got a job in another city and both of us are going to have so much fun."_

"_No I don't want to leave here, I want to stay." _

"_You can't baby, we are leaving, we'll still come visit Uncle Clay, Aunty Chelsea and Avery can come visit us. You'll love it baby." I smooth her curls while running my fingers through it._

"_You will have a big room and a playroom, mommy showed me the house you going to love it I promise." I see that Aiden's tears were running down his face as he wipes them so that Hadley won't see his tears. Apart of me feels like this is my fault but then again I can't stay in this, marriage knowing I am not living the life with the person I want too. I got up and pick her up from Aiden's lap._

"_Are you going to be the big girl for mommy, you know I don't like seeing you so sad."_

"_Am I still going to spend my birthday with daddy, like he promised?"_

"_Yes." He rose from the floor, "and I am going to keep this picture frame it and hang it in my office, that's a work of art." She smiles and wiggle out my arms and grab Aiden's neck. "Love you." _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"I am very sorry for everything, but we both know this is for the best for her and for us."

"When you guys leaving I want to say goodbye." He stood up and I follow him out of the room.

"We leave at three, Chelsea will be here to give us a ride but I can tell her you taking us."

"No its fine, I bet Chelsea is also bumped like your parents right, with everything you told me."

"Chelsea knew Aid. I told her when I came home from L.A."

"What? Any way I should go. I can't believe when I come back to this house tonight there will be no wife and no daughter." I walk closer to him and held him in my arms. I am going to miss him. "I am going to miss you Spencer. But this is it."

He pulls away and when he got to the door.

"I am going to miss you too Aiden, know that."

And he was gone once again.

I walked back to the room and heard my cell phone ringing. I pick it up knowing who the person is.

"Hello." I say.

"So you are coming back to L.A. after disappearing on me."

"Yeah, and thank you for offering me a job, Dave." Yeah Dave Davidson offered me a job, but I won't be writing I will be his partner in the company.

"And here I thought you were going to be calling in on the favours I owe you."

"We'll I could still, I mean you helped me get that beautiful house in the suburbs."

"I can't wait to meet your little girl. Have you heard from her, after the premier she asked about you and I told her you couldn't make it."

"No I haven't but I am hoping I will get to see her before she leaves for her tour. I mean Kyla invited me to her one night show in Ohio, but I had to be at one of Aiden's work dinners." Kyla called my cell phone and left me a message that they in Ohio and she wants me to come but I was to late, when I got there the show was done, but when I heard the song that played the song that she sung, I went home and downloaded it. Every night after Aiden and Hadley were asleep I would listen to that song on my ipod and cry myself to sleep, every morning I would wake up and little by little my heart would break, by the words and also the introduction in the beginning.

_**What hurts the most is being so close to her and having so much to say to her. And watching her walk away. And never knowing if she ever felt the same about me.**_

What she doesn't know is that the day I walked away was the worst day of my life, the day that I know that whether I stay with Aiden, I could never forget her smile, her nose crinkle, her words she spoken, and for her to think that I never felt the same hurt me more then anything. This is why I am going back and fix what I have done. I'm going back because my heart is with her; I just hope that I am not late.

"Spencer are you still there."

"Yeah, hey I will see you soon, thank you again Dave."

And we said our goodbyes and I went to get ready.

"So this is it, you really moving to L.A." she came into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I can't believe I waited this long either."

She came to sit down next to me, I turn to face her.

"What I cant believe is that Aiden made you go, I mean yeah you would've eventually gone through with it but he just gave you the way out." I nod my head as she continues.

"His really broken up inside, but like I told him it's for the best, cause you guys weren't the same since you came back. But don't you worry he'll get over it, all in good time."

"Thank you Chels." I got off my chair and pull her into a hug. "You the bestest. Thanks for making me realise how much I still love her."

"Don't ever forget Spence, you will always have a place in my heart and my home is always open for you, maybe when I see you again, I will meet the girl who stole my best friends heart." I could see tears forming in her dark brown eyes.

"Please don't cry not yet, you still need to take us to the airport." We finally pull away when I feel two hands pull at my leg. I look down and the little girl smiles back at me. I kneel down to her level as she throws her arms around me.

"I am going to miss you Aunty Spencer, I can't wait to come visit you and Had."

"I can't wait either sweaty." In walks my little girl with her favourite teddy in the hand, that girl goes nowhere without it.

"Mommy, are we going to see Avery soon." She walks up to me as I let go of Avery, two sets of eyes stares at me with eyes that's twinkle of tears that wants to spill. I grab both of them in hug as Chelsea walks behind her little girl and rubs her back as we heard the silent tears of the cousins.

"We'll see them soon sweetheart" I breathe out.

"Spence its time to go." I got up and wipe both there faces with my thumbs. Clay has already packed all the bags in the car. My parents wasn't here, they were on holiday in France and Glen is on the road with his team the only two people who's been there for me were the people who is standing in my kitchen hugging me and my daughter.

I see Clay wiping his tears and taking his niece and they walk out the door waiting for me to lock up.

As I pick up my purse and bag, I look around the empty house, a house that's no longer a home, all the memories, the family gatherings, Hadley's first steps, her first time she called me momma, all those moments that was in this house, all that is left is the single picture of Aiden, Hadley and myself on the mantle, in the corner of the living room, were standing a huge portrait of our wedding picture, I couldn't throw it away it would just be wrong.

"Spencer! Come already are you going to be late for your flight." I hear Chelsea shout from the car, before I close the door I breathe out, I am sorry Aiden, and lock up and walk over to her and handover my key. I turn around and have one more look and I felt the tears finally rolling down my face when I felt someone hug me from behind, I knew that arms I knew who the person were, cause that were the arms who hold me when I was in the hospital after my car accident so many years ago, the person who's heart I tore apart when I didn't want to deal with the death of our baby, the person who gave me and my daughter a life that I would treasure forever, the person who gave my little girl all the love she deserves and who loved me. I am going to miss him.

"It's going to take time Spence but I know that we are going to be okay, I know that this might be hard now but you are my best friend. If you need anything call me. Take care of our girl." He says as he breath's me in.

"I am going to miss you. We both will." I turn around to face him as I see his eyes as its glistening from the tears. He opens the car and Hadley moves nearer to the door as he kneels down to her level and hugging the small blonde.

"Daddy's going to miss you so much." I heard the tremble and for the first time I saw him crying in front of Hadley as she holds tight around his neck.

"Guys we got to go." Clay calls out.

"Not yet." I hear her say so softly. I wipe my own tears away as Aiden stood up and take her little hands around his neck off.

He kisses her forehead. "Remember I am always in here." He shows to her heart, and then points to his.

"And I am in there." She says back.

"Aiden." He heard me and hugs me.

"I couldn't say goodbye at the airport it's to hard. To say goodbye there." He says as I could here his cries.

"I know." He pulled back from our hug but still had me in his arms as he cups my cheeks with both his hands. I was staring right into his green eyes as it closes and he moves closer towards my lips and felt it as he presses his lips on mine, I didn't pull away because this is goodbye, I close my eyes as I slowly move my lips as I felt his tongue slip through mine. It lasted for less then a minute when we pulled away leaning our foreheads together.

"Bye Spence. Please go before I stop you." I walked around him and got in the back seat of Clay's SUV, when I pick Hadley up to sit in my lap as she's waving to her Daddy until we out the drive way and can no longer see him anymore.


	21. Chapter 21

**This chapter I dedicate to me4son, your review has really made my day, I hope you enjoy this one..**

**NC17**

**Chapter 20:**

We finally arrived at the Akron- Canton Airport. As Clay took care of our luggage and I went to the reception to find out when the next flight to Los Angeles will be, I saw that it will be in the next two hours.

**USAirways 2581 L.A**

**5.55pm**

"So Spence you got everything right." My brother came close as he hugs me again.

"It looks like someone don't want to let go." I tell him.

"I can never let go off my little sister." He looks behind him as Chelsea is trying to get the girls to stop giggling.

"They really going to miss each other." He says.

"Not as much as I am going to miss all of you, but will see each other, Chelsea is bringing Avery for a week." He stares at me as if he doesn't know this.

"Don't play dumb Clay." I hit him on the arm as he calls out to his wife, telling her I'm hitting him, what a baby.

"Are you not scared of what you doing, I mean yeah you love her but it's been so long, what if she moved on."

"I am sick of the what ifs in life, who knows what I will find, but if she feels the way about me, as I do about her, cause there hasn't been a day when my heart weren't with her. Deep down I know she's waiting for me, call it intuition but I know that our love story isn't over yet. I have been writing about lost love my whole life, the hero finding his queen, well in my case I hope that my queen is still searching for me, that our hearts is still linked, because there are days when I can feel that my Ashley is hurting and I am the only one who can change that." He pulls me into his arms.

"I believe that you call unrequited love baby sis."

"If you always looking for reasons not to be with somebody, then you'll always find them and I guess at some point, maybe you should let go and give your heart what it deserves." I said before I heard the flight being called out, I see Chelsea moving close with the girls on each side of her.

"Now that's why you the writer in the family." Chelsea taps her husband on the shoulder, as he moves out of the hug and pick up Hadley giving her a big squeeze.

"Spencer I am going to miss you so much, the both of you." She points at Hadley.

"I am going to miss you just as much, you take care." I hug her as we both don't want to let go. Chelsea has been there for me since Hadley was born, helping me with a new born. She brought Aiden in our lives and I know it's hard for her to see her friend broken, but she knew that we are going to be okay.

"I will send you pictures of all of us everyday, and the new baby." I lay my hand on her swollen stomach, there were days when I would walk into the nursery at her house and I would just let the tears fall because I was looking forward to having that baby, but when I lost it, it was like apart of me died as well. But there's a beautiful little girl who I love and that I know we will be okay on our own, it's just the thought of getting use to.

"**Flight 2581 to L.A. The plane is ready for departure."**

"I guess that's my call." As I give Avery one last hug and a kiss on the forehead.

Chelsea and Clay give their niece one more hug as I take her little hand in mine.

"Go find your queen, Spencer. True love comes only once."

"Thanks you guys, I love you all." Finally it was just me and my little girl as we board the plane. It was Hadley's first time on a plane and she was the bravest six year old I ever met, after my niece off course.

We were both buckled in our seats as the plane took off. I look at her as I can see the tears running from her little face. I cup her cheeks as I gently wipe the fallen tears of her face.

I lean forward as I bring her closer to me. She lays her head on my arm. As I tilt my head down laying my head on hers.

"Its going to be okay sweaty, mommy wont let anything happen to you. I love you."

I heard a feign voice saying, "I love you too mommy." After a while she was out the rest of the flight, still stroking her hair. When we got in the air I took off both our seatbelts, and pull her on my lap.

**Kyla's POV**

It was one o clock in the afternoon when I heard my cell phone start ringing. I was alone at the loft as Ashley and a few of her band mates took off for Carbo. I stayed behind cause I know what happens on trips like that. I wish Ash would've stayed. Ever since she came back from her touring the states she has been partying even more. Sometimes I wish that a certain blonde would come her senses and come back and save my sister from ruining her life with all these girls she's been hooking up. Blake was completely out the picture after Ashley called Spencer's name in bed. I had to laugh for that one I mean you in bed with someone and calling your ex lovers name, kind of funny, but she deserves it.

I lean over my boyfriends shoulder trying to get to my phone, his not exactly my boyfriend more like my man candy. I believe Mr Right is out there for me.

I finally grab the phone from the night stand as I see a number I have never seen.

I flip it open.

"Hello." I say.

"Hey." OMG! It can't be.

"Spencer." I whisper her name so soft that it barely comes out my mouth.

"Yes, Kyla it's me." OMG! Shut up Kyla. I couldn't believe it.

"Spencer. Hey, I never thought I will hear from you again, it's been so long." She never came to the show.

"I know, but I am calling you to ask for a favour." She sounds so nervous.

"Yeah, I can do that for you just text me with the details…right, bye Spence." That was it, I couldn't believe she called and well Ashley will be happy. OMG Ashley. What do I do?

I got of the bed and try to wake Jake up. Yeah thee Jake my sister's assistant are my man candy, if you should see him you would bend as well.

Jake's been a good friend, we became acquainted while we were on the tour bus, one night I was sitting alone working on my laptop when he came down, we start chatting he brought a six pack from the kitchen and well one thing lead to another and we had hot sex right there on the sofa.

I didn't tell Ash about this, cause she got this notion that I steal people away from her which aren't even through, I never stole Spencer, she was my friend.

"Jake." I shake him. I see his blue eyes finally opening as he smiles at me and grab me to lie on top of him.

"Baby, not now please." Do you think he listens know way?

"We'll it will take us like fifteen minutes max, cant help a guy who's been laying next to a beautiful brunette like yourself." He pulls me on top of him as I feel that he's been having a slightly wet dream already.

"Babe." He captures my lips as I feel his tongue slip through my awaiting lips. Mmmmmhhh, I can get lost in this. I feel him pressing me down so that I was lying exactly on top of him, I could feel him being hard already.

"Are you that happy to see me?" I asked him.

"Mmmm. Yeah. I want you babe." He flips us over until he was on top of me, kissing me down my neck as he suck on my pulse point. God this so good, his tongue is circling around my earlobe, sucking on it. I feel his hand going underneath my tank, as he cup my left breast, playing with the harden nipple. I wiggle underneath him, grinding myself just to feel his manhood against my vagina; I could feel the ache between my legs. He lifts up my tank as I lift myself up on my elbows, finally getting rid of the piece of clothing as he moves from my mouth and right down to my chest, I arch my back as I want more of him.

"Oh Gosh. That feels so good." I say. His playing with my other breast as I know my climax is about to happen if he don't do anything to put me out my misery right now. He lifts his head from my chest as I see his eyes turned a darker blue, full of lust, I am horny like you don't want to know. He sits on his knees as he takes my panties of throwing it to the side of my room, the same goes with his boxer.

I stare at him for a minute as I saw that his erection was ready to take me.

"Do you have a condom." He asked as I take one out of my bedside drawer. I give it to him and watch as he takes his manhood in his hands and roll the condom over it.

He was finally done and lay back on top of me as I feel him entering me; I could feel him going deeper as he thrust inside of me. My hands were grabbing the sheets as he moves inside of me.

"Faster….Please…Fuck." he did just what I wanted. We were going at it until I feel him going slower as he pushes in and out of me.

"Ky….FUCK!" He shouts. His pace when faster until I could feel that I am near.

He whispers in my ear as he licks up my neck. "Cum for me Ky…..Cum……Fuck!" he thrust deep until I could feel my body shakes. Almost….im so near, I push him deeper as I scratch down his back as both our bodies were sweaty and glistening.

I feel him thrust one last time when I finally came all over his manhood. He pulls out of me and moved down between my legs as he mouths me, playing with my clit as his tongue sweeps up all my cum in his mouth. That is the best orgasm I have ever had.

He finally collapses on top of me as I could smell my room has the odour off sex.

"That's was fucking good." He says. He kisses me as I suck on his tongue tasting myself.

We fell asleep until I heard my cell phone going off. I woke up and Jake was nowhere to be seen. Next to my cell phone was a note, saying that he will see me whenever. That's how we are no strings just hot sex.

I flip my cell phone open finding a new text message.

**We here, can you get us at L.A.X airport gate 12.**

Reply

**Sure give me about half and hour. **

**Spencer's POV**

We landed in L.A. I woke Hadley; I really didn't want to wake her as she's been crying all the way. Whenever she would wake up I have to take care of crying little girl wanting her Daddy, I told her the minute we get to our new home she can call her father I know that he is waiting on us to call him, to let him know we got safe here.

I pass the luggage collection when I turned around and saw the familiar brown eyes looking at me. She has the biggest smile on her face.

She walks closer as I have Hadley in my arms and the luggage at my feet, now I wish I had called Dave instead, cause know way can I handle all this by myself and its not like she would be able to help either.

"My God, Spence it's so good to see you." She wants to hug me but I still had a sleeping blonde. Lying on my shoulder.

"Kyla, thank you for coming I know you busy and all. I would ve asked Dave but…" she cuts me off.

"Spencer its okay." She looks at the sleeping girl and look back at me.

"So this is the princess I've heard so much about."

"That would be her yes, she's just sleepy now."

She takes my luggage and ask a guy for some assistance.

"How have you been Spencer? You wont believe how happy I am that you here. Back where you belong."

"I am glad you think so, I was afraid you might want to kill me for what happened."

"That's the pass, you here now, that's all that matters, right."

"Right." I say as I follow her out of the airport and to her car.

**There you go guys let me know.**

**Please review**

**I would love it alot**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 21:**

**Ashley's POV**

The week has gone really quick, it was our last night in Carbo, and I have been distant with my band, the girls that walked up to me didn't even interest me, because there's someone that I don't want to hurt. She's the first thing I think about everyday. How she is? Does she miss me like I miss her? How do I get her back? And then another day starts without her begin.

I have been trying to get the courage to pick up the phone and call her, but whenever I do, I loose my nerve and chicken out. I never thought that I would one day fall so deeply in love with someone, she's not just someone, she's a brilliant author, she's a great mother that part I believe cause she did the right thing for her daughter any mother would put her child's needs before there own and that's what makes her so lovable.

I was sitting at the piano in my private suite in the hotel as I compose a new song, the words came so naturally cause I believe that our love is _Timeless _in that sense where no matter how far apart we are she's constantly on my mind.

_Baby come close let me tell you this_

_In a whisper my heart says you know it too_

_Baby we both share a secret wish_

_And you feelin my love reaching out to you_

I took the pencil as I right in the correct chord and then move on to the next verse. As I start to play around getting the chorus right. My manager has wanted me to start writing more love ballads and last night these words just spiralled in my head. I pick up my guitar as I strum the chorus of the song.

_Timeless_

_Don't let it end no_

_Now that you're right here in my arms where you should stay_

_Hold tight baby_

_Timeless_

_Don't let it fade out of sight _

_Just let the moments sweep us both away_

_Lifting us to where_

_We both agree_

_Its just timeless love_

When I thought of a title and what it going to be, she was the first thing that I thought of, her silky blonde hair as my fingers running through it. Those sparkling blue eyes that I could lose myself in.

_I see it all baby in your eyes _

_When you look at me you know I feel it too_

_So let's sail away and be forever baby_

_Where the crystal ocean melts into the sky_

_We shouldn't let the moment pass_

_Making me shiver lets make it last_

_Why should we lose it don't ever let me go_

The words finally flow from my tongue as each word brought me comfort, as each strum on my guitar made me realise that life is to short, too short to throw something so precious away. Something that I know I will never find in this lifetime. And I pray to God that I am not too late to get that back.

Timeless time is precious and God forbid if I don't do anything I might as well give up on love completely.

_Timeless_

_Baby it's timeless_

_Oh baby its timeless_

_Timeless_

_Don't let it fade out of sight_

_Just let the moments sweep us both away_

_Lifting us to where _

_We both agree_

_It's just timeless_

_It's just timeless_

_Love_

You love her, I love her. I remember lying in bed for the first time after she left and just feeling silence. And then realizing that for the rest of my life she was gone, never to return to me.

All her touches, her kisses were gone the sound of her voice and the way it soothe me.

I tried to find new things to fill that emptiness but none of them ever really have you know?

I stood up from the piano as I grab my cell phone and make a quick call too my fathers private jet, that he should fuel up the plane cause I have waited long enough, If she doesn't want to fight for me then I will have to fight for us. Fight for something that I believe I have to do. Why didn't I think of this a year ago, why didn't I think of this when I was in the same city as her.

It had to take Blake to make me realise that I was just using other females, I wasn't that person, I know that she deserves better from me, it took all my might to resist sleeping with another girl ever since that night with Blake, Kyla thinks I am sleeping around, but I am not, I just wanted to feel something you know. I was so lost in being a lawyer, producing my first album, touring but through all of that it was never enough, it wasn't what I want. The life my dad lived for so many years, losing out on seeing his children grow up. I don't want that life. If Spencer should walk back into my life right now, I will give up everything to be the person she and her daughter can depend on, I want to have a future with them, I want to raise a family with them. I want to have my own children with her.

My cell phone ring and I answered it.

"Miss Davies."

"Yes."

"We ready for you. Just meet us out on the field."

"Thanks." I grab my Gucci over night bag and filled it with things I will need. I grab my purse and off I went. Locking my door I got to the front reception desk and left a message to let Tommy know I was leaving and that I will see them back home.

I got in the taxi in the front waiting on me as I look around and saw Tommy standing looking at me confuse.

"Where to miss."

"The airfield." I say.

I was on my way to my future and nothing is going to stop me now. I saw that we are near the airfield until the taxi came to a stop, I paid the cab driver and took my bag and walk to where Frank was standing.

"Ashley Davies, always a pleasure to see you." He hugged me and let me go. Frank has been working for my dad for years and his still working for my family.

We got on the jet as I buckled myself for take off.

The plane were moving slowly as it run down the ramp as I hear Frank say we will be at our destination in a couple of hours. I can't believe I am about to do this, I just hope that I have the correct address.

We finally landed at Akron- Canton Airport, it was dark out, but I can't wait, I can't wait because I have been waiting so long for this moment. I am on my way my love I say out to myself.

As Frank came into the cabin telling me, that he will wait for me, he won't leave until I give him the heads up.

I can't believe I am doing this on my own without Kyla by my side.

I got off the plane as I left my things on the plane just taking my purse. I walked through the terminal as I get to the outside of the airport. I have only been here once with my show but here I am for a totally other reason. I take my dairy out and check the address one more time, waiting on a cab to pull over at the curb. **243 West Street, Ohio.**

"Where to miss." I hear the cab driver ask, feels like dejavu.

243 West Street."

In less then an hour I pulled up to a one storey house with white picket fence. A small little swing was in a tree with a tree house. Why that must've been one lucky girl to have parents like them, and here I am about to tear that family apart, I knew she was married, that her family would come first but I will do the honourable thing and walk away if this is what she wants.

I open the small little white gate, as I walk up the path, the garden were nice. Its almost as my legs is holding me behind as I move slowly up to the house, I could see the light being on in the living area, as I could hear music blaring through the speakers. Are they having some sort of party, I turn around and only saw a grey jeep park in the driveway. I finally got the courage as knock softly, still standing as I knock a little harder.

In next few seconds the door flew open, and the sight I saw in front of me wasn't what I expected.

**Aiden's POV**

When I met Spencer when I was just finishing to pass out my Bar. Chelsea introduced us, and from the minute I set my eyes on her I knew this was the women I want to spend my forever with. When my parents found out that she had a two year old daughter they were dead set against the fact that I want to marry and raise another man's child, but to me Hadley was just a blessing. She instantly liked me from the head go. I was the lucky guy to have two blue eyes blondes in my life.

When I found out Spencer were pregnant, I was the happiest man I alive. I remember that day I found her on the kitchen floor with a crying Hadley on the other side, watching her mother in pain. My heart broke because I knew that there was no chance of the baby surviving. Our marriage took a huge turn the day she decided to go to L.A. I wish that I had stopped her. I remember it like it was yesterday.

_FLASHBACK: ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO_

_WHEN SPENCER LEFT_

_I stayed over at Clay's because I knew if I go home we are just going to fight._

"_Aiden I think you should go home, your wife and daughter needs you." Chelsea says to me._

"_Maybe she needs me but she doesn't want me Chels. I've tried to be the there for her but she push me away every time." I could feel the tears as she hugs me. A lot has happened in my marriage and it's not all my fault._

"_I know but at least show her you there even if she doesn't want you there." I decided to take my friends advice and left to face my wife._

_I got home and she was in our bedroom._

_I stood in the doorway._

_As she looks right back at me. What I saw was obvious that we are about to start where we left off a day ago._

"_I really hate you, you know that. If you are cheating on me with that tramp from high school let me know now!" she yells at me, while hitting me against my chest as I try to keep her hands still. I really weren't in the mood for this, I wasn't cheating either._

"_Do you hear yourself? I am not the one ruining everything. You are Spence. And she's not a tramp." This was every time the same Madison._

"_So you are seeing her, you bastard a week ago you told me you'll wait forever if you have to, so what do you do, I don't want you near me you run to Madison, who's slept with every man in this damn town!" she yells back. I know that we are going to wake Hadley up with all this shouting._

"_Spencer believe what I am saying to you now, I will never cheat on you. I love you, not her, she tried to seduce me but I stopped her before it got any further. I love you." I say softer as I hold her in my arms as she's crying, I never wanted to see her cry._

"_I want you out my house are no I am going to L.A. I need time Aid. You and I aren't the same two people we've been a month ago." I grab her by the waist cause there I s no way I am leaving or her._

"_Don't. Please. Don't." I beg._

"_I have to for both our sakes. I need time to heal." She pull out of my embrace as she turn around we saw Hadley standing at the door with tears rolling down her small face, Spencer walks towards her and she ran to her room, as I hear her door slam close then Spencer knocking. I went to go sit on the bed, with my hands in my face as I was crying knowing this could be the end of us._

_FLASHBACK END_

When she came back from L.A, I knew something must've happened because she wasn't the same person I knew before our world fell apart.

I should've seen it coming her falling for someone else. She was unhappy I noticed it. We slept together only once in that year, even then I should've noticed my wife wasn't my wife anymore. She wasn't mine to love. Her heart was in another city, and when she told me it was another woman I felt betrayed by her, but I also couldn't judge her. I had to let her go. I was still in love with her but she gave me a daughter, it must be so confusing for her.

Saying goodbye were the hardest thing I had to do, and I couldn't do it at the airport that's why I came back.

She was watching the house I knew she had tears in her eyes; I slid my arms around her waist as she leans into me.

"It's going to take time Spence but I know that we are going to be okay, I know that this might be hard now but you are my best friend. If you need anything call me. Take care of our girl." I smell her vanilla shampoo hair for the last time.

"I am going to miss you. We both will." She turns around and saw the tears in my eyes, I never before cried in front of her are our daughter. I walk to the car as I open the back door where my little girl sits. She moved nearer as I knelt down to hug her.

"Daddy's going to miss you so much." My tears became more as she held me tight around my neck.

"Guys we got to go." I hear Clay say.

"Not yet." She says.

I kiss her forehead. "Remember I am always in here." I point to my heart.

"And I am in there." She says back.

"Aiden." I hear Spencer say my name. I got up and walk towards her.

"I couldn't say goodbye at the airport it's to hard. To say goodbye there."

"I know." I pull her in for one last hug, I bring both my hands up to her cheeks and look straight into those blue eyes and moved closer, I pressed my lips towards hers as I felt her move her lips with mine as I give her one passionate kiss. She didn't pull away because this is goodbye. We pull away not too far as I lay my forehead against hers.

"Bye Spence. Please go before I stop you." I said as she walks out of my embrace and walk around me towards the car. She climbs in and put Hadley on her lap as the little girl couldn't stop waving and her eyes puffy from the crying.

I stood there until I couldn't see the car and they disappeared down the road.

I was listening to some music I made for Spencer every year for Valentines day and finished almost a whole bottle of Captain Morgan by myself, Clay came around but then left cause Chelsea needed him, Glen was gone, the Carlins were in France, so that left me alone with my thoughts.

I heard a soft knock on the door thinking for one minute maybe Spencer changed her mind. I heard the knock grew abit louder and wondered who it could be it was only after six the evening.

I stood up and walked to the front door. I swing the door open and saw a beautiful brunette staring at me like she has seen a ghost or something.

I have never seen this woman in my life.

I finally got my voice after seeing her fidgeting with her hand bag around her shoulder.

"Hey, can I help you." I asked.

She looks like someone who's still stunt. Apart of me thought that she looks vaguely familiar, but it can't be.

"Yeah. I….I'm. I don't really know if this is the correct address." She says not sure why she is standing on my door step.

"Well I am Aiden Dennison." I saw her eyes grew wide not knowing why.

"And you?" I ask.

"Ashley. Ashley Davies."

Then it clicked.

**How surprise were you guys they met. Ash is just in the wrong state.**

_**Song Timeless by Kelly Clarkson**_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 22:**

**Ashley's POV**

"_Hey can I help you." I heard him say._

"_Yeah..I…I'm I don't really know if this is the correct address." I stutter unsure if this is the house Spencer supposedly live. The house looks empty, well not completely but all I could see besides the furniture is a small frame with a couple and a little girl._

"_We'll I am Aiden Dennison." He says. _

"_And you." He asked me._

"_Ashley. Ashley Davies." I say._

_He moves out the way and shows me in._

"_Come on, Ashley." As I walk into the living area, my eyes scan the picture on the mantle. It was a family picture, with Spencer, Aiden, the little girl Hadley. I remember Spencer showing me a picture so long ago. She's just as beautiful as her mother._

"_So, Ashley, what are you doing here? You look lost." He stares at me as if he knows me or something._

"_I am here looking for a Spencer Carlin." I ask him. His eyebrow rose at the mention of her name._

"_You don't know." He asked. Know what? I thought to myself._

"_She left. She's gone?" he says with a sad look on his face._

"_Gone where?" I asked. This guy make me a little nervous cause his looking at me like I know something. _

"_She left me. It's you? You the person who her heart belongs too. You the reason my family fell apart." He says as he raises his voice. I stepped back, not knowing whatta hell his going on about. If she left him, then why don't I know about this?_

"_Part me __want to blame all this on you, but that be wrong wouldn't it." I kept quiet. I came all this way to get in the middle of a family. I know I shouldn't have fallen in love with her, I shouldn't have slept with her but she was the one for me._

"_I am sorry." I finally say. As I could see that his been crying. Omg I would cry to if I should lose her, but I did lose her and she came back._

"_She told me, she met someone, she told me she wished she never did fall in love but when she told me she didn't love me anymore, that she wasn't in love with me." he looks at me. "I knew for along time she was unhappy, maybe she was unhappy before she left L.A, our……_

_My God what's going on here? There's so much Spencer kept to herself, I knew she had a child but I never knew how her relationship with her husband were, she was always lost in space with her thoughts. That's when I remembered her letter._

_**There is so much that I wanted to tell you but I guess the past is better buried deep **_

_**Down**__** in my heart.**_

_I should just ask him._

"_Can I ask you what happened before she left a year ago." He went to go sit on the couch, I was still standing. His tears were streaming down his face; his green eyes were the saddest. He loves her that I know, but I want to know why she left him the first time._

"_Spencer never deals well with pain, she doesn't face it and she push those who love her away." He says, as he looks right in my eyes. I know what he means, she left me, but this seems to be different._

"_Why." I ask him._

"_We. WE?"_

_I want to go closer to him, but I stood still frozen to what he just said._

"_She had a miscarriage, right there in our kitchen, that day me and Hadley came home, when I heard my little girl cry out Mommy. I got to her and saw Spencer lying on the kitchen floor covered in blood. I knew the baby wasn't going to survive. We lost our son and since that day Spencer hasn't been the same our family hasn't been the same." He cried out. My hand was flat on my chest as my heartbeat faster. To think what she had went through what Hadley had to see and live through, and what his going through. She should've told me._

"_I didn't know?" I breathe out._

"_Would it have changed anything if you knew." I can't answer that._

"_You couldn't have. That's how I feel about her."_

"_I am still sorry for what happened."_

"_Don't be, she will be okay, they will both be okay, I will eventually be okay."_

_He stood up and walked over to me._

"_I let her go, cause she wasn't happy, I saw it, and by the look on your face I can tell that your heart has been breaking as well. That you also have been unhappy. She played that song, she thought I didn't know but I knew. It's a sad song."_

_My knees gave in but he caught me in his strong arms. Now I know why she loved him, why she married him, he was kind and gentle, even though I am the main reason his wife left him._

"_Don't blame yourself for what happened, at least she was happy with you, at least I know my girls will be happy."_

"_I love her you know and I would've let her be, not to break your family apart." I say as he walks over to the mantle and take the picture from it carrying it in his hands. _

"_This is all I have left, now go please. Go find her." he says. I couldn't bear to see him this way I might not know him but I know how he felt. This is what my father felt like when my mom took Kyla; this is how I felt when Spencer left me alone in her hotel room. And I hugged him, my own tears falling, falling because I am finally going to have the life I wanted. I am finally going to make her the centre of my world. _

"_Thank you, Aiden." I said as I let go of the embrace, I wiped my face and as I turn away from him I heard._

"_You are the type of person I know will make her happy and that will give the both of them the future I knew I couldn't have, you have my blessing Ashley."_

_And on that cue, I left him there as I could hear the cries from the outside, luckily my cab were still waiting for me._

_I got to the small gate and turned around one more time._

_And got in the car, and off I went._

_I knew just the place she went. I couldn't help but I was happy from the inside a small smile tug at my lips._

For hoping, for holding on to a dream that may never come through and it did eventually.

**Spencer's POV**

After Kyla dropped me and Hadley off at our new house the first thing I did was put her to bed. I tuck some of her hair behind her small ear, leaning down as I kiss her forehead. I sat there just watching the sleepy blonde. I couldn't believe that this is what my life is that the minute I admit to myself that I was in love with Ashley Davies. That I finally admitted that I was gay. I know mom is not too happy about me leaving Aiden but as long as my Dad is okay with this. Aiden accepted it, but what about when Hadley asked me questions what do I say to her. I know that eventually I will have relations with another female. I just hope that person will be Ashley. I know she will love Hadley as her own. I also know that those two will get along very well all in due time.

I left Hadley's room leaving the door slightly open as I enter the living area, where boxes are waiting on me to be unpacked. When Had, wakes up I want this place to be like home to her.

I was halfway through finishing unpacking and putting some of the boxes in the garage, as I enter the front door my cell phone ringing.

"Hello." I said.

"Spencer, its me." I hear the other person say.

"Hey, I am glad you called."

"I am glad too. I just miss her so much already." Silence.

"And you. But I am okay. I had some company."

"Yeah. Chelsea said she's going to check up on you."

"No. not her, someone I never thought I would want to see. Neither get to be hugged from her either." All I heard was her.

"Was that slut Madison there." I ask. She can't even wait.

"Spence, you know for someone who's not in love with me, you sure get jealous quick." I hear him chuckle its good to hear that sound.

"No I am not."

"Yes you are, but just so you know it wasn't her, it was…" I heard crying from Hadley's room.

"Aiden I have to go, Hadley must've had a dream. I will call you back."

"Spence let me talk to her please if she's awake, don't put the phone off not yet. I just want to hear her voice." I hold the phone to my ears as I enter the crying girl's bedroom, seeing that she was sitting straight up in bed.

"Honey what's wrong, tell me baby." I took her and let her sit in my lap.

"I am ssscared mommy… (Crying)…I I want to sleep with you. (Crying). I rub her back as I am trying to calm her cries.

Then I heard Aiden calling.

"Spencer! Spencer!" I pick the phone up.

"She had a bad dream, Aiden I don't think she wants to speak now." By hearing Aiden's name she took the phone from me.

"Dadddyyyyyy! (Sniffling)...Daddy I had (sniffling) bad dream. (Sniffling).

What they spoke about I don't know because Hadley was starting to dry the tears from her eyes and then finally looking up at me with a smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

"Okay Daddy, I love you? Goodnight." And she hands the phone over to me.

"Spence, don't worry she will be just fine. I will leave you guys we'll talk again okay."

"Goodnight Aid."

She crawl in bed again and lifted the covers for me, as we both snuggled into each other.

Her head lying in the crook of my neck as I brush my fingers through her curly blonde hair. This how she always fell asleep after a bad dream.

My mind drifted off to what Aiden was about to tell me before hearing Hadley crying.

Who is she? If not Madison.

**I know a lot of you didn't expect Aiden & Ashley to meet, but somehow it lead to them meeting. I think it went well. If not let me know. **

**Slight writer's block that's why it took so long. But my muse is back so I hope the finish this up soon. **

**Spashley will meet. Don't worry.**


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: I have reached my first 100 reviews, took long but I am happy. This story has gotten 15 000 hits**** and visitors was 5 000. I am so happy you guys enjoyed this story. On a sad note last night I was rushed to the hospital after hyperventilating and couldn't breathe, but I thankful that I am doing better. I was so scared that I might not make it but I did. I was thinking worse case scenario. I may not be able to update very often, but I am off work and will do my best.**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 23:**

**Ashley's POV**

I arrived in L.A. after leaving Aiden crying on the floor over the lost of his family. Apart me is thinking that this is somehow my fault if I never went to that hotel room, or if I never told her how I felt about her that night Blake came bursting in my room. Or if I never let her stay over that night, just maybe I could've avoided all this. All this heart aches. Here I thought it was just mine, but it's three other people who's hearts were broken, because I couldn't keep my stupid feelings and hormones in tact.

Gosh? My mother is the home wrecker and here I am doing the same thing. Maybe Kyla is right I am just like our mother, except for the heartless parts.

As I was walking out of the airport I see Kyla parked outside driving my Porsche Carr era. Wonder who gave her the right to drive my car. She got out of the car with a wide smile on her face. Maybe she and Jake are finally working out.

"Say thanks to Jake." I say.

"What you mean." Trying to play dumb I know his the one she's been seeing.

"He cancelled Carbo to stay in the city. Cancelling on hot chicks." I smile at her. She walks closer to me and hugs me.

"Welcome home sis. But this is not about Jake, not at all something happened." She says as she grabs my bags. What else is there? After hearing my news she will be happier.

I walked to the driver side as she's starring at me.

"What? Do you really think I will let you drive my baby, when I am here? No way sis." She throws the keys at me.

We were off and she was extremely quiet.

"So what made you so happy Ky. If not my best friend who else." I never consider Jake as my best friend but his been there for me a hell of a lot. Then any other person in this recent year.

"Just a certain someone, that's all." She smiles again.

"Come on already. Is it a dude other then Jake. Please Ky; you know I tell you everything."

"You will find out in due time." And that was it, she gave me a slight squeeze on the knee and turned the radio up, and what you know my new single that wasn't even recorded yet were playing on the radio. She looks at me and then back to the radio, putting the volume a little harder.

"Ash, when did you get time to record this, weren't you suppose to be on holiday in Carbo." She stays quiet just to wait if I would tell her that that wasn't even me singing really. Somehow Tommy had my voice dubbed and this was the outcome. I mean in two days and here the song is being played on some college radio.

"That's not me Ky." She looks at me as she raises her trimmed eyebrow.

"I mean it's me but that's just dubbed. They loved the song so much and well got it on air. Doesn't sound too bad either. But I will be back in studio to lay a proper track."

"Dad will be proud Ash, so will a certain someone." And she winks at me, turning her

Face. As she goes on listening to the words.

We got home but Kyla had to leave because she has some errant to run. There's definitely something up with that girl. I have a weird twin.

I stepped into my bedroom while dragging my luggage behind me. I dropped my body on the comfortable king size bed. I laid for awhile when I got up and went to take a quick shower.

Where could she actually be in L.A.? I could call two people who might know but its been over a year that I last spoke to Dave, and I sure as hell not calling Clarke that ass, who took advantage off Blake when she was drunk and vulnerable. Why are men like that? They always seek out the weak ones; I am just glad Spencer took control that night and smacked him. I guess I would've beaten him up too, before she has done it.

Gosh? I love her so much. She's finally come back.

To think I went to Ohio and found out she was on her way here looking for me.

Maybe if I take a nap then I will have enough energy to go out and look for my blue eyed blondes.

I am the luckiest bitch in the world.

**Kyla's POV**

After Ashley and I got home I told her that I have to run an errant. An errant alright I just drove into Spencer's driveway. She must still be asleep. Because it's around 09:00 am.

I climb out of my Jeep as I walk up the white paving towards her door. The Carlin's were on the outside of the little letterbox. How nice, I have never really lived in a house like this and now I know why Spencer preferred a small town to raise her kids and not the city. This house has more of a country side look. I bet it will even more homey the inside. I knocked on the door for a minute or two when I heard small foot steps running towards the door. The door swings open and there is the cutest little angel with her blonde hair in two pigtails, blue eyes sparkling and smiley face, with pink t shirt and denim skirt, with soft pink flip-flops she's definitely Spencer's little mini me. She stares at me.

"Who is you." She asks. As her mother approaching from the other side of the room.

I kneel down to her level and take her small little hand in mine.

"I am Kyla, I am a friend of your mommy's." she nods her little head as the two pigtails bounce.

Finally Spencer was in front of me standing behind her mini me.

"Kywa!" she says. I nod my head.

"Sweaty why don't you go finish up in the kitchen, mommy will be there right now." She says goodbye and walks towards the kitchen. Hearing her giggling to herself.

"Wow? Spence she is beautiful." She opens the door wider as I follow her in to the living area.

"So, what's up." She asked me.

"Nothing much I thought you might need some help, but I can see you have done quite a job already. How do you get it right." She chuckles at me.

"Just had a lot of time on my hand after tucking Hadley in, but the rest I did early this morning." She looks around the house and smiles.

"Job well-done. I guess you don't need an interior after all."

"Have a seat. Do you want some coffee." She walks towards the kitchen.

"Yeah that would be nice. So Spence what make you move to the big city. I mean I am glad you decided to come here." She was now in the kitchen as I heard her say.

"Well it was just time to follow my heart and it leads me to you." She says as she walks back in with two cups in her hands.

"Me oh do I feel special right now."

She was quiet for awhile as we both sat there quiet listening to Hadley giggling again, then I heard SpongeBob square pants and the girl were giggling ,then we heard a thud to the floor. Spencer ran to the kitchen as I follow her seeing the little girl has fallen off the stool with porridge and all. I could see the tears were about to spill when Spencer picked her up in one swift as I took some napkins to clean the milk and porridge of the floor and then on the table. Hadley had her head laid on her mother's shoulder as Spencer wipe the small girls face with her thumbs.

"Its going to be okay sweaty. Where are you hurt let mommy see." She shows Spencer her finger that wasn't really bruised, but holding it out for her mother to kiss it better then the forehead and then both her cheeks. Just looking at them melts my heart. When Ashley and I were that age and we got hurt there was nobody to kiss it better, to say that it will be okay don't cry, or hold us. We had to hold each other when we cried, unless our dad was home for a weekend. I was so deep in my own thought that I didn't realise Spencer was talking.

"Kyla? Ky." She calls my name.

"Yeah."

"You spaced out there for a minute. Thank you for cleaning up the mess. I was going to do it myself." She says. I walk towards her and Hadley. I play with her pig tails and smiling at her.

"It's okay. And how you feeling sweaty. You shouldn't scare mommy like that hey." She nods her head. And then climb out her mother's lap opening her arms for me.

"You need a hug." She asks me. I look at Spencer as she nods her head to go ahead. I finally walk closer and she gave me the tightest hug ever.

"There all good now." She says to me.

"Thank you sweaty." It's like this little person knows what I needed.

She wiggled as I let her down and the blonde scrammed towards her room. Out of the corner of my eye I see that Spencer was starring after the little girl.

"What' wrong Spence, she seems to fit in quite well." I see a small smile coming from the blonde as I am met with blue eyes looking at me.

"I guess it will take time for her, she had a bad dream, and Aiden was on the phone while I heard her crying, after she spoke to him, she calmed down and went right back to sleep. I know this might be hard on him but I am glad that his trying." She says.

I went to sit at the opposite of her.

"You never spoke about him before. Why did you really leave before?"

"I was afraid of what I felt for Ashley, I mean for most of my life Aiden were my soul-mate and then I met this beautiful girl and she took my breath away. I know that the way I left was wrong, but I had a daughter and a husband. She probably hates me." I lean over and take the blondes hand in mine.

"Spencer till this day Ashley has never gotten over you. Yeah you broke her heart but she doesn't hate you. She was broken the more I told her that you had priorities back home."

"My marriage were torn way before I got in L.A." I just want her to tell me, about the baby.

"I was pregnant. We were so happy. We had everything planned and then one day I got home and everything from the minute I laid on that floor changed, I pushed Aiden away, I made his life miserable, I just couldn't deal with what I was feeling. My daughter was caught in the middle of all the fights between me and Aiden. Then one night it got to much and I took the job here in L.A. the next day I saw Ash." I see her eyes sparkle when she talks about Ash. Maybe I should've told her that I knew where Spencer was.

"How is he Kyla." She asks.

"She's doing her music thing and it's been good to her, but she's still heartbroken. I told her that I did call you."

"I was there, but I was late. That night I downloaded the song and since then I cried myself to sleep. If it wasn't for Aiden I wouldn't have been here now." She says. I could see tears starting form in her eyes.

"I couldn't believe she thought that I never care, leaving her behind was the hardest thing I ever did, maybe I should've told her." finally her tears were falling, this reminds me of Ashley, when she told me she's tired of crying. I guess that the both of them have been broken, but in the next room there's a little girl who doesn't know anything.

"Did you tell Aiden about her?" I ask.

"Yes, the night I was going to tell him myself, he did the right thing by letting me go, it broke his heart but we both realised we not that couple anymore we weren't for quite sometime."

"And what about Hadley, does she know about Ash and you."

"No. but I will have to eventually. Gosh? How screwed up is this life. I want her in my life, I want her to know Hadley and I want Hadley to know her." she says as I walk around and hug her.

"Shhhh, that little girl in there will love Ashley, and you don't even have to worry about Ash, she'll love that little girl as her own. I just want the three of you to be happy." I point to the room the little just ran too. "She will accept you Spencer no matter who you love. That girl has a heart of gold."

"Thanks? So what are your plans for the day or do you have to get back to work."

"Nothing much I mean I am the boss, so why don't the three of us go watch a movie or something." She wipes her tears and smiles.

I follow her out the kitchen as she took off for Hadley's room and I was standing in the living area as my eyes scan the pictures of the two blondes and must be her family, until my eyes landed on a familiar face. A face I couldn't believe I would ever see after all these years.

Looking at those emerald green eyes I went weak at my knees. Then I saw another picture of the three of them then it clicked his Aiden, Spencer's soon to be ex husband.

**Please review.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 24:**

**Spencer's POV**

_**"A soul mate is someone who has the locks to fit our keys, and the keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and for who we're pretending to be. Each of us unveils the best part of one another. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person were safe in our paradise. Our soul mate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soul mate is the one who makes life come to life. "**_

It was nice of Kyla to spend time with me and Hadley. I can see those two getting closer by the minute, but there's someone else that I want my little girl to spend time with. I wonder what she will do when she sees me again, I know Kyla said she doesn't hate me, but apart of me wants her to be mad. I know I would've been, but Ashley has this huge heart.

After leaving Hadley with her new aunt Kyla, I went to work. Yeah I guess it was time to get use to actually go into the office, seeing as I have never actually had one unless you call my study an office.

I heard a knock at the door, and then see the person I thought I will never see again.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." I replied. He closes the door behind him and approaches my desk.

"So, it's been quite a long time, you probably heard I am a daddy now." I see him take his wallet out and hand me over a picture of a blonde little girl.

"Aww, she's beautiful. Who's the mother?" I ask.

I hand the picture back to him as he smiles while looking at the little girl again.

"You haven't heard."

"Heard what." I ask him back. It's been a while dude I don't stay in touch with gossip mongers.

"She's mine and Blake's." What? Did I hear right.

"You kidding right, isn't she suppose to be gay." He laughs.

"Well technically she is, we had a one night stand and we made this pretty little girl. We not together. Her parents are raising my daughter." He says with a sad face. Should I feel bad for him?

"I am sorry." I say.

"No you not. You think that I am jerk and that Jordan will be better off."

"Not really I mean yeah what you did to me was you being a jerk but that's like a thousand of years ago. So I am over that. Life is too short you know." I said. He took the chair opposite me and sat in it.

"I am still sorry about that, but what happened to you Spence the movie was a hit and you weren't even there. Plus I know about you and Ashley Davies." He said.

"Yeah. I'm not discussing my sorta love life with you." I say. He reached for the picture of Hadley.

"She's beautiful just like her mother."

"Thanks but I am kind of busy Clarke, we'll chat again."

"Sure." He says as he walks out of my office.

I heard my cell phone ringing and smiling as I see who the person is.

"Cant believe you left girl." She says.

"Well you could've come with me."

"How's Hadley finding L.A. found any good schools yet?"

"Yeah I have. And she's doing quite well. I even found myself a babysitter on the first day we arrived."

"Who? Some hot brunette be haps." I had to laugh at the irony.

"Chels sometimes I do wonder if you not hiding in the closet." I chuckle.

"Okay back to the point of my calling you."

"Now I feel like you don't care." I chuckle.

"Spence the point you are there, have you seen her, does she know you even in L.A." she ask.

"Well not really, but her sister knows."

"Spencer stop being a wuss. Go find the girl for goodness sake. Please go find her and be happy. If you worried how Had, might react you don't have to worry, when the time comes she will accept you."

"I know Chelsea, but what do I say. Are how do I go about letting her know I am in town. _Should I like call her up and say hey Ashley its me Spencer I am currently staying and L.A. you know the girl who left you alone in a hotel room._ No thanks. I am not doing it." I say out of breath.

"Hold on. I am not saying you just call her up and say that what you just said. But know this she's thinking you still married to Aiden, when you in the same town as her." she says.

"How is he doing by the way?"

"You so changing the subject, but if you want to know his trying really hard, we don't see him that much. When we do, his in his own thoughts mostly. But Spence please, tell her, do something. You suffered enough, the both of you."

"I will." I say.

"Good. Well I have to say goodbye and you keep well all the best Spence and give my niece a hug and kiss from me."

"And you do the same with my niece."

"Bye."

**Ashley's POV**

Tommy called me in to lay some new material we have been working for quite sometime, and Timeless was number one on the album. I see Tommy getting agitated by the guy on his left side. Must be that time of the month I guess.

Took us all morning and half way through the day, when Tommy finally called it a day.

I was still sitting in the booth when he came in.

"Ash, I got great news."

"Yeah?" I said unenthused.

"You don't sound to happy or slightly enthusiastic about this. I thought you wanted to do another album I mean you wrote all these amazing songs Ash. Or do you need to get laid to be happy."

"Shut it you ass face, I don't need your sloppy seconds. What's you so called news about." I ask with a fake smile. That's what I have been doing lately, when ever someone asks me how I am I will just fake smile and pretend to be happy. That's me the happy little rock star. These people don't even know me; I just miss her so much. Where could she be? And why haven't she like look for me, not like she doesn't know where I stay. I can't even get a hold of Kyla; she's been gone most of the day. And she's not with Jake cause his more around now lately.

Something's definitely going on with her. But what could it be.

"Any way before you go all spacey on me again, you have a gig at EGO, tonight."

"What? I am not ready."

"Yeah you are. Look you are an amazing performer Ash; I know you can do this. Plus I already said yes." I stare at him with an angry look.

"That don't scare me at you should know that by now. I also chose a track already."

"What? I am not going too. Cancel it."

"NO. And yes you are ready. The song will be Timeless."

"NO!" I yell.

"Yes? And smile honey. See you at seven cause we need to rehearse before you go on at eight." He comes closer and hugs me, and walks back out laughing. I can't sing that song, because that's song I wrote for her and she's not even there to hear it.

Gosh? Spencer where are you please. I need you.

I left the studio and went for a drive that always sooth me. Unless I go to some bar and pick up chicks. My cell phone rung and what you know my dear sister is calling me.

"Well, well look who decided to be heard of. Where have you been? I need you." I say.

"What's wrong? Oh never mind you going to bitch about Tommy again aren't you."

She knows me so well.

"Yeah and plus I am supposedly singing at EGO, tonight and I need your support."

"You'll be fine Ash, its not like you haven't sung in front of entire crowd before."

"I know geez it's not that. I just don't want to sing that song."

"Ashley Davies you are amazing. And wherever she may be she may love that song too."

"Do you know something I don't?"

"Like what?" she asked.

"Spencer." And she was quiet. I knew this.

"Spencer, what about her isn't she in Ohio." Nice one sis. I thought to myself.

"She's not in Ohio, last time I checked."

"How do you know." I kept silent; she didn't know I went there.

"Ash." I hear my name so soft.

"Ash. Have you been to Ohio and not telling me."

"Yeah I am sorry. I just miss her Ky. She's somewhere and I am going insane here not knowing where to search for her.

"You guys will find each other when the time comes. Hey Ash I have to go, see you tonight sis." That was odd. Any way so tonight I am singing Timeless, could it get any worst?

I stare at my phone and dialled a number I thought I would never have to use in my life. It was ringing until I heard.

"Hello."

"Hey. It's me Ashley." I say.

"Yeah and what can I do for you Miss Davies." He asked. I hate this guy but this is the only way I could get to find her.

"I need you to help me find someone. I mean you are a PI, the best I have heard."

"That you got right. Clarke Davidson investigators are the best." Arrogant son of a bitch.

"Any way what can I do for you." he asked.

"I need you to find….." I trailed of.

"Find what?" he asks me. I finally drove in my garage at the loft. With phone still in my ears.

"I need you to find her for me."

"Find who?" is this guy an idiot are just pissing me off. I got out the car and walk to the elevator.

"Leave it, this was a mistake."

"Ashley sorry, its okay. Who do you want me to find." He changed his attitude.

"Spencer Carlin." I heard him cough.

"What? You want me to find Spencer."

"That's what I said."

"Sure. It's going to cost you."

"Name your price."

"Me and you one night."

"FUCK YOU!" I shout through phone.

"I am joking. You not my type, but a certain blonde is definitely mine, blue eyes, legs that you could not take your eyes off mmmhh."

"You a sick bastard you know. I am warning you Clarke if you so much as touch a hair on her body, you as good as death, so watch your mouth." I hear him chuckle. His really pissing me off now.

"Don't worry, she will do the job for you herself, in actual fact I may just be the right person to help you get your girl back. I know she swings your way and not mine. I will let you know as soon as I have anything for you. Bye Ashley."

I ended the call and entered an empty loft with know sister or lights on. God Kyla you could've left a light on at least. I hate dark places.

I can't believe I am actually going to sing that song on stage for the first time. I always thought I would sing that to her, once we get together.

**The inscription on top does mean something in this story…**

**Its close guys. They will meet. How I still am contemplating on a good reunion.**

**Thanks for the reviews guys and I am doing much better.**

**There was twist in the previous chapter. .HEART and several others picked up on that. I will come back to that I just want to focus on SPASHLEY for now.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 25:**

**Kyla's POV**

I was on my way to Spencer's when I called my sister. And starring through the rear-view mirror to check as a certain blue eyed blonde sings to Barney and friends. Her mother told me she loves the purple dinosaur more then the Barbie I bought her the other day. I am helping Spencer by taking Hadley to school and fetch her in the afternoons while she goes to work. She's an amazing mother know wonder my sister fell in love with her.

I wanted to tell Ash that I knew about Spencer. That Spencer is staying here in L.A, but I want Spencer to do it. I feel really bad by being in the middle of them.

I can't believe she went to Ohio, while Spencer was here. Gosh, this getting really out of hand. I mean Spencer was married to Aiden; it never really clicked at all.

You may wonder how I know Aiden, well we were in the same class in elementary, his family are originally from Baltimore, when he was twelve they moved to Ohio, and he was my first crush. We were best friends. And to think his the father of that sweet little girl in the back seat of my car. Wow?

**Spencer's POV**

I heard a car in the drive way as the doors shut open then close hearing small footsteps and then banging at the front door. I walk over to the door as I open it, Hadley jumps in my arms with Kyla tagging after her.

"Hey baby girl, have you been a good girl for Aunty Kyla." She nods her head and wriggle out of my hug as she runs off to her room.

"Be careful honey."

"Okay mommy." She yells through the hall way

"Hey Ky." She walks in smiling with Hadley's bag in the hand.

"I am good thank you. You have one energetic toddler you know that."

"I know. So what's up tonight." I smile. Some people at work invited me out tonight.

"I am supposed to go watch someone perform tonight. What you got plan." She asks. As we both walk towards the kitchen. And making us some coffee.

"Some people invited me out for dinner, but now I wont be able to make it seeing as I don't know anyone besides you. I am not leaving Hadley with any strangers." I say. As I sip my coffee. I see her starring over her mug at me. Then scrunching her nose a bit. Whenever I look at her I see Ashley, they have the same shape of eyes and there smile are slightly similar. Deep down I want to ask Kyla to tell her sister I am back, but like Chelsea said I should do it. I wonder if she still goes to that coffee shop we used to bump in the other. I have been here for a week and haven't stepped out to go anywhere but work or doing the grocery.

"You thinking again and I think who the person is you thinking about. Spencer its time you do something, I mean you can't tell me she's not the reason you left Ohio and come here. You could've gone anywhere but here you are in the same city as her and yet you haven't contacted her." she says as she lays one hand over mine.

"I know okay, its I don't know how to do this, I am scared. I love her that I know. But what will she do when she sees me again." I ask, as my own voice betrays me and tears start to fall again. Kyla got up and gave me a hug, as her face is buried in my hair.

"Shhhh. She will be happy Spencer. Go see her please. After tonight go see her."

"Okay tomorrow I will go and see her. I will surprise her. But…."

"I will watch her." she let go of me as she steps away.

"What about the show you going to watch, wont they be mad at you."

"I hope not. But I will have to grovel for forgiveness. You need me and Hadley does too. I love watching your daughter Spence." She walks in the living room as I follow her. Just at that moment Hadley entered the room too, hugging Kyla and a kiss on the cheek.

"I guess I will see you later then." She says. As she turns around and walk to the door opening it and gave me a weak smile. Whatever is going on in her head I'd like to know? So tomorrow I will try and get a hold of Miss Ashley Davies. She's no longer working for her Dad, so that means her loft is the only other place.

"Come little girl its time to get supper ready and then take a bath." I say as I lift her up and walk in the direction of the kitchen putting her on one of the stools. With SpongeBob Square Pants giggling at his star fish friend.

"Mommy, is Aunty Kywa coming to look after me again." I nod my head yes.

"I love Aunty Kywa." She says as she goes back to watching her favourite cartoon.

My attention went back to cooking supper for her.

Supper was finally done and ready to dish up, as she played around with her veggies.

"You better eat that Hadley or no ice cream for you." she smiles and then put some of the pumpkin on her spoon and eating it with a frown on the face.

"I want ice cream mommy." She says. Trying really hard not to make herself nauseas.

"Good eat all up." I say as I stood up to rinse my plate then putting all the other dishes in the dishwasher.

"Mommy can we call Daddy after this please. I want to tell him about my new school."

"Sure honey but finish all your veggies please.'

Less then an hour we were both sitting in the living room watching some more cartoons, when I heard the house phone rings.

"Hello." I say in the receiver.

"Spence." I will never forget that voice.

"Yeah, she's here. Hold on."

I walk over to where she is sitting on the couch. And hand her the phone.

"Sweety its daddy." I saw the biggest smile I haven't seen in quite awhile.

"Daddy." She squealed in the receiver.

"Yes baby. How my princess doing."

"I am fine Daddy and you. Daddy my new teacher is very nice to me. And the children, but I miss my old teacher and my friends and Avery." When she said Avery's name I could see a tear falling from her eyes. I went too sat next to her.

"She misses you too baby girl. And you know what, Avery, her mommy and Uncle Clay is all coming to visit you soon." I heard him say.

"And you?" she ask. I hate seeing my daughter so sad. I brush some of the strain hair out her face. She looks up at me and smiled.

"How's mommy."

"Mommy is fine. But I think she's a bit sad." Aww man she knows how I am feeling and telling Aiden that I am unhappy.

"She will get better don't worry."

"Daddy I have a new Aunt, her name is Kywa." I hear Aiden laugh at her pronouncement of Kyla's name.

"Its Kyla, Hadley." I say. She hands the phone over to me after saying goodbye.

"Hey." I say.

"Are you okay Spencer." I could hear the worry in his voice.

"Yes I am or I will be eventually."

"So I take it you haven't done anything yet to reach her. Spencer there is something that I wanted to tell you that night, Hadley were crying and we got cut off."

"Yea what did you want to tell me?" I asked.

"She was here. The day you left Ashley Davies knocked on my front door. I didn't realise who she were but when she asked for you I knew it could only be her." OMG.

"What? What did she say, and why were she there." I panic knowing that Aiden must've done something.

"She wants you Spence. She wants you to be happy if it's with me or her. I told her I am not angry that we just didn't work out. I…"

"You what. Aiden what did you do." I ask.

"I told her Spencer she needed to know why? Why you always runaway from something. I told her about our baby, that we lost it. You never told her. Why not." Gosh? I never wanted her to know about that. I was going to do it myself when the time came.

"Aiden you shouldn't have. This wasn't your thing to tell." My voice became louder as Hadley stares at me. I stood up and went in the kitchen.

"Why not. The women are in love with you and you don't think she deserves to know. It was as much my baby then yours. You pushed me away don't do it to her. Please Spence; just don't be alone in this. I told you before be happy. Live your life. And tell Hadley I will come visit soon." He says. We said our goodbyes and it was almost time for Kyla to show up. I went to get ready for my night out as I hear a knock on the door and a small giggle coming from the living room. I went to go see who it was and Kyla was there with two bags in her hands.

"Hey Kyla. You spoil this little brat.' As I tickle her belly.

"Stop mommy, stop." She says. I let her go and kiss the small blonde on the cheek and give Kyla a hug, and thank her for doing this for me.

I was on my way to the restaurant when I got a text telling me I should meet them. Guess where none other then EGO. I hope I don't bump into any familiar faces tonight.

I parked my car and saw Beth, standing in the front foyer waiting on me. Beth is an intern and is also my personal assistant. She wants to become a screen writer while studying at UCLA, film department.

I walk up to her and give her a hug.

"Hey you made it, I thought you'll change your mind after the text." She says.

"No. I have been here only twice and that was about a year and a half ago." I said following her in.

"So you should know what to expect wants we enter. Men or women all over you." I just shrug my shoulder as I heard the crowd goes wild.

"I didn't know they have a live show tonight, there's nothing advertised in the front." I said.

"Yeah, some rocks star. They say she's the next best thing since Lady Gaga. And hot." She kisses her finger and touches her chest. How weird.

We entered the club but it was so packed that you couldn't even see the person every guy and girl is drooling over. She must be something. Even if she's hot, she would never take the number one spot Ashley has, now that is hot, sexy. Just thinking about her. That night she danced with Blake, the first time I met her.

We walked straight to the bar. I ordered a jack and lime as my companion left me to ogle at the singer. I heard the song as the women sang, with just an acoustic guitar. I listened to the words as it hits deeper, those are the words I would imagine Ashley would sing to me.

_Baby come close let me tell you this_

_In a whisper my heart says you know it too_

_Baby we both share a secret wish_

_And you feelin my love reaching out to you._

I took the glass and brought it to my lips as the whole crowd has gone quiet and all you hear is the voice with her guitar. Something about that voice seems vaguely familiar.

_Timeless_

_Don't let it end no_

_Now that you're right here in my arms where you should stay_

_Hold tight baby_

_Timeless_

_Don't let it fade out of sight _

This song is almost like it was written with me in mind. I know as a writer myself that sometimes I write when I am done and its finish I found myself writing about her, her chocolate brown eyes, the cute little nose crinkle. The smell of her hair. The way she made me feel like a queen.

My mind went blank for a moment, when all I hear is this song as she sings it to me, so often I dream of her playing her guitar, but where is she now. What is she doing? Will she be happy to see me?

_Just let the moments sweep us both away_

_Lifting us to where_

_We both agree_

_Its just timeless love_

_I see it all baby in your eyes _

_When you look at me you know I feel it too_

_So let's sail away and be forever baby_

_Where the crystal ocean melts into the sky_

_We shouldn't let the moment pass_

_Making me shiver lets make it last_

_Why should we lose it don't ever let me go_

I finally turned around as I see the women strumming her guitar, something about her seems familiar or maybe it's just me missing her and thinking everyone else is her. I see Beth standing near some people that work in our office. I took the last of my drink and finished it as I see Beth waving me to come closer. As I walk through the crowd the voice finally did sound familiar, I look straight ahead of me, and saw the person. It must've been more like hours as both our eyes lock.

_Timeless_

_Baby it's timeless_

_Oh baby its timeless_

She carried on with the song as her eyes never leaving mine, without knowing I see myself walking past Beth and the others. It's like it's just the two of us and everyone else isn't even there. The song was almost near the end as I heard the last verse of the song.

_Timeless_

_Don't let it fade out of sight_

_Just let the moments sweep us both away_

_Lifting us to where _

_We both agree_

_It's just timeless_

_It's just timeless_

_Love_

And that's when I see her fall to the grown, everyone around me was trying to get in my way, but I kept pushing through the crowd until I reached the stairs and walk up the stage. When some guy came and stop me, but I pushed through, another guy came and I just couldn't keep my own tears from falling knowing that my Ashley needed me as much as I needed her.

"Please mam, you can't go up there, we taking her to the dressing room and she wouldn't want any strangers around her." he says. I just stare at the raven haired man, but not budging at all. She needs to know I am here.

"I need to be there for her." I breathe out as my own sobs could be heard a mile away. I saw them carrying her to the back of the stage, which probably is the dressing room.

Just when I want to go after them a hand pulls me back, I turn around and see Clarke standing next to Beth. I was not happy seeing him here at all not now.

"Clarke let go." I pull my arm out of his grip and he let go. Without saying anything else I walk towards the back room, when the same raven haired man stood there worried on his face.

"I told you she doesn't want to see anyone." He says.

"I need to see her, please sir just let me in." I beg the guy as he stares at me for a few minutes and open the door and take me by the arm. I follow him in and what I saw broke my heart. Ashley was lying there as someone else gave her a brown bag to take deep breathes.

"Ash." I say her name so softly. She finally looks up at me with wide eyes. Like she can't believe it's really me standing a few feet from her.

"Guys give me a minute." She says. As she sits up tucking both her legs against her chest. Her hair was damp from the sweat. I didn't move, I just stood there until she spoke again.

"Spence?" she says. "Is it really you?"

I walk nearer and went to sit next to her but leaving some space between us. She turns to face me. God she's so beautiful.

"It's me Ash. It's really me." I breathe out. A breath I haven't known I had.

She moves closer to me. I see her hands come out of her lap as it touches my left cheek, and stroking it with her thumb, I lean in against it. Just feeling her soft skin against mine was like heaven again.

"God. I dreamed of this moment for so long and here you are in my dresser at my show. Performing the song I wrote for you." she says. I see her stood up, as she held's out her hands for me to take. I took it and was face to face with her.

She laid her forehead against mine, breathing me in. her eyes was finally open.

"You came back." She says. As all I could do was nod my head.

"I love you Ash, I was an idiot to walk away." She puts her fore finger against my lips.

"You not an idiot." She says.

We were standing there as both her arms went around my neck and mine slid around her waist pulling her close to me. We were both holding as tight as we both don't want to let go.

_**"Someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communication and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life."**_

**There it is the long awaited reunion between Spashley. I tried my best getting them in this moment.**

**What do you guys think?**

**Please reviews are welcome.**

**Song Timeless by Kelly Clarkson. **


	27. Chapter 27

**Hope you all enjoy this next chapter. **

**Chapter 26:**

**Ashley's POV**

I couldn't believe it, first I thought I was dreaming that it's just a vision of my blonde beauty but here she is standing in my arms.

When I was on that stage and my eyes fell on blue eyes all I wanted to do was get of that stage and run to her. If it was her are not.

My heart is pounding so fast that I could feel it in my throat.

I pull away a little just holding her face in my hands as I see tears falling down her beautiful face. I wipe some of the tears away.

"Spence." I say her name so soft. Just the feel of her name rolling of my tongue felt good. Having her here felt right. It's finally all happening. A year and a half and here we are two souls that's been broken, two souls that went there separate journeys and found each other once again.

She lifts her head and looks straight in my eyes. Those eyes that I could get lost in.

"Yeah." She says.

"I have missed you so much. You won't believe how hard it's been but you here now, that's all that matters." I say.

"Ash. I am so sorry for everything that I have put you through. What I have put all of us through." We were still standing in the middle of my dressing room.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? I would've been there for you." I see her face change. As she pulls out of my arms completely and went to go sit on the couch.

"I wasn't ready to talk to anyone about it. It was something that I wanted to deal on my own. But in the process I lost my family because of it. Then I came here and met you and just wanted to be someone other then the women who's baby died." She says. I went to go sit next to her, just when I'm about to say something I see Tommy coming in.

"Ash, I am really sorry about her. I know you wanted to be alone." He says.

I stood up and hug him. His just doing his job.

"It's not necessary, she's an old friend. Any way seeing that I am done do you think you could take us to the coffee shop near the Beverley Hilton?" I ask.

Spencer stood up and showed her car keys.

"Then I guess you might go Tommy." He walks over to me and whispers in my ears. If that's her, don't ever let her go. I had to give the guy credit, he knows a good women when he sees one.

"I take it we can go now." I walk over to her as I take both her hands and bring it up to my lips kissing the palms. I can't believe she's here. I don't think I will stop pinching myself for awhile.

We pulled up at the coffee shop as we got a parking right in front of the building. I haven't been here since the day she left me. There's so much that I want to ask her, the lost of the baby, Aiden, Hadley. I wonder where the little girl is right now. We found a booth right at the back away from prying eyes.

We sat in silence until she spoke.

"You won't believe how much I missed you Ash. This last year has been miserable. But you should know that I didn't have a choice in the beginning, maybe it's not the best one, but I had a daughter who depended on me. Responsibilities as a wife." She says. As the waiter came over and took our order.

"I understand Spencer, I really do, but sometimes I asked myself how you could just leave me there naked in your hotel room and a letter. I felt worthless, like a cheap whore." I said soft not to make the blonde cry, as my own tears starts to fall.

"Ugh…I was just not thinking. I am sorry. We shouldn't have but that night meant a lot to Me." she glances over to the door as the bell chimes. Her gaze fell back on me.

I can tell that she's been through a lot. After meeting Aiden I could tell they were once a happy couple.

I take her hand in mine over the table.

"We can start letting the past go, and look forward to a future." I said.

"Do you really think it's that easy, I mean I've been here for almost a week? I have been living in the same city not knowing how to be able to talk to you, but look at us now. Its like we haven't been apart and here you are holding my hands and wanting a future."

"I know it's soon. There's a lot we need to cover. Like I even knew my sister had been in touch with you. I know Kyla all to well. She's been keeping you a secret from me." I start to get angry cause Kyla could've told me.

"Ashley it's not her place to have let you know. Kyla has been a good friend and she's got closer Hadley so quick. They have been buddies. Had couldn't talk enough about her new aunt. She even told her father this evening." I had to smile. She really loved her little girl. But to think Kyla met the small blonde and I haven't. What if she hates me?

Spencer started to rub circles I the inside of my hand.

"Don't worry she will love you too. Eventually. You got competition, to become her favourite aunt." AUNT. What will I be to the girl if one day her mother and I do get back together?

"Ash! ASHLEY!" she shouts my name.

"Yeah." I say.

"Where did you go right now?"

"Just thinking. When will I ever meet this princess? Seeing as Kyla is already her favourite." I say, with a small smile tug at the corner of my mouth.

"You never know one day you might be more then an aunt, but for now we can't be anything. Hadley still doesn't know that I am even gay." I look at her and my eyes grew wide. She's gay, well I thought as it was just some straight girl that wanted to experiment. I never thought she was. Okay yeah we slept together. But a lot of married women want to explore sometimes. But Spencer was different; she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

"I am gay Ash. I knew there was a something wrong even before I had gotten pregnant, but then I met Aiden and then I met you and we fell in love. I never felt that way about anyone." She smiles at me. As we both just sat there in silence, never losing eye contact. It felt right.

"I will wait however long you ready. I will be there for you and Hadley. I want to meet her Spence. I know not now but maybe one day you can introduce us." She nods her head. Then takes a sip of her caramel latte.

**Spencer's POV**

After dropping Ashley off at her apartment, I went home to find Kyla and Hadley asleep in the little blonde's bed. I might as well let them both sleep.

I went to my bedroom as I heard my cell phone letting me know an incoming text.

I walked to the dresser where my phone was in my purse and flip it open as I read the text message.

**You are the reason why I have sleepless nights. You are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight. And you are the reason I can't sleep without saying goodbye. Xoxo Ash**

I couldn't keep the smile of my face as I send a reply back.

**Thank You Ash…Goodnight and sweet dreams to you too. Mwah. Spence**

I undress myself and got under the covers. Lying on my back in the dark room. I couldn't believe what a night I had. Firstly what would've happened if I never went to EGO, and to think Ashley were the person singing? Sometimes I wonder if true love is really this unconventional thing where two lost souls found each other. For over a year she's been dreaming and writing songs to fill my memory and my last book was how I lost her and chose a different journey, and the two souls that were once apart has come to find the other.

I have to let Kyla know that Ash knows, and was Kyla supposed to be at EGO. That must've been the person she was talking about. She cancelled on her own sister to help me out.

I woke up the morning to hearing squealing coming from downstairs. I got up and went to the on suite bathroom as I brush my teeth and take a quick shower. I got dress in my casual wear seeing that it is Saturday and got no plans.

I walked into the kitchen seeing the two sing a long to some cartoon, Hadley loves a lot. I walked in and got some coffee and sat opposite the brunette.

"Morning you two. I see you made yourself at home Ky." I say while smiling at the face she's pulling at Hadley.

"Yeah. This is my new best friend. I am replacing her with Ashley." I had a smile when I heard her name.

Out of the corner of my eye I see that Hadley is about to come up with her questions. That look in her eye is a give away.

"Who's Ashley, mommy." She asked. As I watch Kyla waiting on the explanation.

"She's Kyla's sister and a very good friend of mommy's." I say.

"Like Aunty Chelsea." She asks.

"Yeah, just like Aunty Chelsea." I say back.

"Ashley's my sister Had, and maybe one day if it's okay with your mommy, you will get to meet her." I might as well inform Kyla that Ashley knows I am in town, that she knows everything. About the baby, Aiden.

"Hadley why don't you go watch cartoons in the lounge baby, mommy just want to talk to Aunt Kyla." I see her not budging as she goes on talking with Kyla.

"Had." I say. And then she starts to pout. "Just for abit please honey."

"Are you going to play with me later Aunty Kywa." She asks.

"Sure honey if its okay with your mommy, we can go get that ice cream I promised." She smiles and I nod that it's okay. And off she goes to watch cartoons in the lounge.

"What's wrong Spence." I didn't know how to say it in front of Hadley with all her questions.

"She knows." It's all I said.

"When? How?" she asked me.

"EGO, last night long story short we ended up there Ashley were the singer. I thought the voice sounded familiar. As I walked up the guys I was suppose to hang out with there she is on the stage and our eyes lock, then she fainted." I say in one breath.

"WHAT! Is she okay. I should go check on her." I saw the brunette's face in a panic as I stop her.

"KY? She's going to be okay. We are going to be okay. You on the other hand I don't know so much." I started to laugh at the expression on her face.

"Hey I did what you ask me to do. Don't tell Ashley I am in town." She says.

"I am only joking she wont kill you I ask her nicely." And winked at her.

"Don't tell me you and my sister ended up in bed together, cause you know what happened the last time." She says in a serious face. Like I don't know.

"Know we didn't. I know I hurt her badly the last time. That's why I told her we can start of with being friends. I mean we can't just jump in a relationship, I am not even divorce from my husband yet, and then there's Hadley. God, Ky, it's too much." I say. As I could hear I am about to break down in tears again. When Kyla pulled me into a hug.

"Spence take it slow with her, I know you my have hurt just as much, but I don't ever want to see my sister like that again. She's been through to much over the year. I am not for one moment going to stand by seeing you guys make the same mistake like you made before. I love you both to much, and now it's not just the two of you, there's a little girl inside who's going to hurt as well. She's lost to much already. But if you and my sister ever going to get together do it the right way. And be sure it's what's good for all three of you."

"I know. I know. Gosh? I can't do that again with her. I am so in love with her. When I saw her last night all I wanted to do was kiss her. Hold her in my arms and make up for lost time." I went back to sitting at the counter as Kyla follow me and sat next to me.

"It won't be the same, but maybe it will better now. Now that you guys have talked." She says.

"I might as well tell you. She went to Ohio, looking for me, Aiden then told her everything about our marriage and the baby." I saw her nod her head. I knew Chels told her, when she called me one day and Chelsea answered.

"I know, she told me." I stare at her.

"Why is everyone keeping secrets." My voice got a little louder. I didn't mean too.

"You kept secrets as well Spence, when you got here the first time, when you and Ashley started getting close you could've told her then, you could've told me. I was your friend. We wouldn't have judged you. A lot of people go through miscarriages daily, but they find comfort in the people who loves them." She says.

"It was best not to talk about it, because I have talked about it enough at home. My marriage fell apart, and I didn't want Ashley to be concern and me not letting her in. it was so easy to fall for her cause she didn't know much of my past." I say as I wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Just be happy Spence, for once in your life let her be the one to tell you when she bugs you, don't up and leave again please. Just don't break both your hearts."

"I won't. I promise." Then we heard.

"Aunty Kywa I am done. Can we go please." She runs up to me as I check if she brushed her teeth. She informs me Kyla has done her hair and dressed her before breakfast.

I walk the both of them to the front door as she gives me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek and off they went.

I close the door behind me as I lay my head against the back of the door.

_I wonder what Ash is doing…_

_I walked in the kitchen when I rinse all the cups and bowls before packing it in the dishwasher._

_Moments later my cell phone vibrated on the kitchen counter._

_I walked over and flip it open smiling at the caller I.D…fate is a beautiful thing._

"_Hello?' I smile in to the phone._

_To be continued. Slight cliff-hanger._

**I think it's about ti****me we have a change. There still be angst but they've been through enough heartache…**

**Please review.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 27:**

**Ashley's POV**

Last night was great, awesome even; I couldn't believe Spencer Carlin is staying in Los Angeles. This is a dream come true, and I have to thank Aiden Dennison for letting her go. Since that day I left Ohio, I couldn't shake the thought of what his been going through, to loose the love of your life, your daughter all at once. I don't think I would ever want to feel that pain again. Knowing that she's the only women I have ever felt so deep about.

In all my life Blake was the only person I have ever felt at ease with. There may have been other people I was with, but with Blake it felt more safe because I know we both will never hurt the other, and that's what I did, I hurt my best friend, but I also weren't in love with her. While Spencer was gone I tried to feel something for Blake but seem that we are better off as friends or just people who knew each other once.

I walked into Kyla's bedroom seeing her bed hasn't been slept in at all. She probably stayed over at Jake's.

I heard my cell phone buzz and went back to my room seeing a text from my sister.

**Ash I stayed at Spencer's fell asleep in Hadley's bed. I am spending the day with her. ****Enjoy your day sis. Kyla**

I send a reply back.

**Thanks**** for letting me know. Ash**

I couldn't wait any longer I need to see her. I walk in to my studio while sitting at the piano.

I flip through my contacts and landed on S.

I dialled the number and wait for it to be answered.

"Hello." I couldn't keep the smile of my face when I heard her voice.

"Hey, Spence. It's Ash." I say.

"Yeah. How you. I hope you didn't get worried your sister stayed over." She says.

"No its okay, she just text me awhile ago."

"So what is up?"

"Well I was wondering if you would like to come over. Just to hang." I say before she reads too much in my intentions.

"I don't know if that's a good idea Ash." She says. I know she wants too.

"No expectations. Please." I beg.

"No expectations, then what the use." She replies. What she mean by that.

"Then expectations. I am never going to stop Spence. I know what I want."

Silence. I just don't want scare her off. I know I said I will be her friend. But how can I when all I want to do is kiss her and make sweet love to her all night all day.

"Spence. Leave it then. I guess we should just not be alone with the other then."

Come on Spencer. Tell me you want this too.

"Ashley its not that I don't want to come over, its just what happened between us that night in the hotel room cant happen again. Not now it's too soon. I meant what I said I do want to start off as us being friends again." She finally says.

"I get it. I do. I still want more but like I said I will wait. We will take this as slow as you want. It will be hard I know that. But at least come over and keep me company, I know Hadley is with Ky, and you alone. So please come. There's key under the mat by the door, I will be busy in my studio. See you later." I say.

We ended the call, I know she's contemplating whether she should come are not I wish she choose the latter.

I started to play that song, the night I was in Ohio for the first time, and with playing it I started singing the lyrics to it. I knew that this is the song I never wanted to play ever again. Kyla even warned me about it, but it meant something to me, it meant something to us after speaking to Aiden, he told me she would cry herself to sleep every night. That broke my heart even more, because it weren't just me who felt that pain; it was the both of us.

_It's__ hard to deal with pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doing it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see old friends around and I'm alone_

_Still harder _

_Getting up, getting dressed, livin with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken_

_What hurts the most?_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing _

_What could have been?_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do?_

_Is what I was trying to do?_

_I'm saying that loving you_

_That's what I was trying to do_

I didn't hear anything but my own sobs as I wipe my face with my hands.

"Ash." I heard a soft voice. As I turn around seeing her standing in my studio's door way, with her own tears falling down her beautiful face. The blue eyes as clear as the ocean.

"_What hurts the most is being so close to you and having so much to say to you, and watching me walk away. And never knowing if I ever felt the same about you." _

I heard her say so soft that I could barely hear her repeating my own lyrics to myself. She walks closer to where I sat on the piano chair. As she holds both her hands out for me to take it.

"_I felt the same Ash, when I first heard those words, it broke my heart for you to think that I never felt that way about you, but I did. God I love you so much that it hurts me deep. Not knowing if I would've ever seen you again. That night when I finally decided that I couldn't do it, stay with Aiden pretending to be happy with him. He stopped me but then he realised that my heart was somewhere else that for a year and a half we just grew even more apart. I wanted you Ash. And I know this is too soon but I have waited to damn long to do this I __can't deny my heart what I am feeling." _

She stops and pull me up by my hands as I stood there in front off her not knowing what she's about to do. She caresses my cheeks as she gently kisses the tears from my cheeks.

She moves her lips until I felt it landing on mine. It was gentle as she licks my bottom lip asking for entrance as her tongue slide right through, I hold on to her hips as she moves her hands to my hair. God. This is what I have been waiting for so long.

Our tongues were mixed in the most passionate kiss as she rediscovers every part of my mouth, I could hear a moan coming from her as my own knees almost gave in. she holds me up so that I wont fall. She's so strong. Her arms slide around my waist pulling me in even more.

We pull away as both our foreheads touches from panting. I needed to get some air.

I finally found my voice.

"Gosh Spence? What was that?" I ask smiling.

"That is what I wanted to do the moment I saw you again. I am done waiting Ash. Soon or not, we not that people, we slept together after knowing each other for a month. I love you. I am in love with you. And I am not going to walk away from this ever." She says out of breath.

Before I know it her lips were back on mine.

"I love you too." I say into the kiss. A kiss that never ended. Gosh this might be too soon but there is no way I am letting go, not from her never again am I going to let her walk away from this. From us.

I felt us move. I picked her up by the ass. As she slings her legs around my waist. I couldn't stop myself from what's about to happen, cause I am turned on and this hot blue eyed blonde isn't making things any easier. As I felt her tongue move up and down my neck. I couldn't anymore when her back was pressed up against the inside wall of my studio.

"Ash." I heard her pant.

I just couldn't resist her.

Her tongue slide along the side of my neck. Gosh it feels so fucking good. I need to get to my bedroom. But it wasn't possible. I could feel the heat between her legs.

"You so fucking hot you know."

"Ash. Bed?' she says. I am thinking the closest is the couch over in the corner of my studio. I pull her tighter as her legs presses even tighter around my ass. Her top came of how until I felt my knees hit the couch I lay her down. My own eyes burning deeply in the pool of blue as I can see it become a darker shade and mine could even be that intense brown.

I took off my own shirt and jeans. While she busy herself out of hers as well. I lay down on top of her as I capture her lips. She feels so good. Her silky tongue dancing around exploring the cavern of my mouth. I could feel my own core heating up. I lay my one arm underneath her neck.

"I missed you. I want you." she says panting. I look up at her as tears start to burn in my eyes. I am not going to cry, I am not going to cry I chant to myself.

"You beautiful you know that." She nods her head. I felt her hands coming up behind as she takes off my bra. What I didn't tell you when she took of her own shirt, she had no bra on. Gosh my girl knows how to make my life that much easier. I massage her breast as I could feel the warmth between us. I start nibbling down her neck. I dreamed of this moment. She was in my dreams for so long but here she is lying underneath me writhing with lust.

I take one of her rosy buds into my mouth as I suck on it, pulling at it but not to hard. I feel her fingertips grazing the sides of my waist her legs intertwined with mine.

"Ash, please. I've waited too long. I haven't had sex in a year." She says.

I smile at her, as I go back to kiss her swollen lips. I lick all the way down to her chest, going for her other breast. Then I got an Idea. I lift myself off of her.

"Are you kidding me." she says. I just smile as I pull her up and kiss her again and again. I can't get enough of her.

"Baby trust me." I say. I let her sit up. Once I had her in the position I wanted her. I pulled her closer to my face as I sat on my knees getting a better view. I help her get her panties off. Gosh? She's so fucking wet. I run my finger through her wet folds, and in an instant I heard her panting even harder, because I knew she wanted me there. Only I knew how to satisfy my girl.

Before she could say another word, my lips pulled on her swollen clit, as I could taste her so sweet, so wet. I felt her hand pushing me inner, as her legs swallow my head in. I run my tongue all along her inner thigh as I go back sucking on her clit my tongue pulling the little nub, in and out as I could hear her calling my name and all the profanities that she could call out.

"Mmmmmmm." She hold on to my head then feeling her nails scratching down my bare back. Gosh I think I came with her yelling my name. I took two fingers and entered her I could feel the inside of her walls soft. As she pulls my fingers deeper in her, thrusting harder.

"Spence." I say as she bits on her lower lip.

"ASHLEEEEEEEEEYYYYY!" she yells. She throws her head back. As I went back and captured her clit back in my mouth, stroking my thumbs over her harden clit. I felt her shaking as I saw her cum, right into my hands. I love her, I love this. The fact that I am the only one she feels this safe with.

"FUCK!" I shouted seeing her coming even more as help her ride out her orgasm. It took us awhile to get back to our normal breathing as I laid her back on the couch with me collapsing on top of her.

It took her about 2 minutes to get me on my back with her on top of me.

"Your turn." She says. I am not about to say no when I felt her hands sliding down between us. She entered me with one finger but I need more than that. Without saying she enters me with two more, as she thrust harder and harder, both our bodies wet with sweat, I felt her fingers moving deeper as I hold on to her waist keeping my body still and in close contact with her pussy. I could feel her dripping on my thighs.

"Spence….baby…harder…faster…" she was rocking my world. Cause I am on a natural high.

I felt it. I didn't even see her move down as her own tongue, sucked and licked as I came right into her mouth. My body was on fire.

"I love you." I breathe out.

After a while she came back up as our bodies melted in to the other.

"You so sexy Ash. And I love you too." I capture her lips until we both just laid there in the other's arms.

"Please be here when I wake." I say.

"I will. This is where I want to be." She says.

I was tired after that and we both fell asleep. Basked in the after glow of making sweet love.

I love this women lying in my arms.

**Song: What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flats?**

**Whenever I write for these two it's like I have no control on what's next.**

**It may be soon, but like Spencer said they never wait long they just go for what they want and feel.**

**All depends on the song I listen too.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this.**

**Reviews are always welcome.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 28:**

**Spencer's POV**

I woke up with Ashley's arms around my waist; I couldn't believe what happened between us. It felt so good, to lay here in her arms.

It was bound to happen anytime. We were made for the other. I slide my hand down, interlacing our fingers as I bring her tan hand up to my lips kissing it. I felt her move as two chocolate brown eyes finally open and look at me, smiling as she buries her head in the crook of my neck. Kissing it.

"MMmmmmmHH. This feels right, us laying here, naked." She says. I see her move as she hovers over me, her one leg placed in between my legs.

"Ash, as much as I want to go again. Kyla and Hadley are probably looking for me." she lifts her chin up as she just stares into my eyes. I can't seem to keep my own hands of her body.

"I know. I am just happy to wake up next to you." she looks at our position on the couch. "Well on top of you, and it feels so damn good." And went to kiss me, as she moans in to my mouth. I can't get enough of her. I love her so much.

"I don't think you want my daughter or your sister finding us in this position do you, what away to meet the little blonde. Plus I need to talk with her Ash." I pout as she kisses me once again before pulling away.

"Okay. You got a real good reason why I shouldn't keep you hostage in my studio. I should get back to that song." I stare at her.

"You seriously like spoiling the mood aren't you." she gets off of me, as she throws me my underwear and shirt. She grabs her own underwear and clothes as we got dressed, I heard voices on the inside of the apartment. Must be Kyla. I was panicking when Ash, finally got dressed and made herself presentable.

"I will go see who it is." She walks over to me and grab me by the waist as she kiss me, as the kiss got deeper I pull away, seeing her pout. Gosh? She's going to make it hard to keep my hands off her.

"I love you." she says.

"I love you too baby." She couldn't keep her smile of her face as I called her baby for the first time.

"I am going to love hearing that." She says.

"Ash go already." She left the room and I got dressed trying to find my shoes. I could hear Ashley speaking to someone but all sounds muffled through the walls. I slipped out of the studio as walk to their bathroom fixing what needs to be fixed. I walked outside and there in the big lounge sits my little girl with Kyla starring at Ashley. As Kyla introduces the two. I didn't know it would happen this soon. In one night, I was reunited with the love of my life, and then I made amazing love to said love of my life, who's now meeting my daughter for the very first time. Without making myself present in the room, Hadley's eyes fell on me, as she runs to me hugging my legs.

I knelt down to her level as I see her scrunching her eye brow towards Ashley.

I watched as Ashley's face turned into panic mode. Like what if Hadley don't like or hate the fact that she's taken me away from her. It's so confusing and I didn't think of what would happen when they finally meet. How will I introduce them to each other? What are Ashley and I. are we dating, or we just two people who were in the moment and our feelings and want got the better of us. We never discussed any of these things. The things we should've talked about but no my hormones got the better of me. I just can't be near her and not touch her. Everyone was quiet until I heard Kyla spoke.

"Hadley why don't we go order some pizza." She says. As the little girl, runs over to Kyla. And follow her into the kitchen where I heard giggling. Seems like Kyla knew that Ash and I needed to talk. I look towards the kitchen then turn around seeing Ashley fidgeting with her fingers; I know that habit of her means that she is nervous.

I finally moved towards where she sits on the couch, her own face turned to the kitchen as she stares into space waiting for something or someone. I went to go sit next to her taking her hands into mine. As she turns her face to me, still not saying anything.

"Are you okay, Ash." She still didn't say anything. Was this a mistake, me and her? Is this to much for her to handle. The fact that she knew I had a child and knowing that whatever decision I make now, it has to be what's right for Hadley.

"ASHLEY!" I yelled her name. Trying to get a response. I see Kyla run out of the kitchen as my own tears start to fall. Maybe this wasn't meant to be. A few hours ago, she wanted this, she went as far as Ohio, to get me back now here I am and she's not saying anything. She's just sitting there starring at me, looking back and forth between myself and Hadley who is standing besides Kyla, holding her hands.

I dropped her hand and stood up as I walk towards Kyla and Hadley.

"Had, come sweaty its time to say goodbye to Kyla." I tell her.

"Spence what's wrong." She asks me. As I look back at Ashley whose still sitting like some kind of zombie. I pick up Hadley before I turn around to walk out.

"Ask your sister wants she comes back to earth. I don't have time for this." She looks at me. As I looked rejected passing the brunette that holds my heart in her hands. I walk to my car as I strap Hadley into the passenger seat. Locking the door. Before I got into the car. I saw her standing at her window, her own tears falling down her beautiful face. How did we go wrong? I just pray that she will make up her mind, because I have hurt too much.

I got in my car and drove away. I could feel my tears burning inside my eyes, as I try my hardest not to cry in front of Hadley. I look at the little girl sitting next to me, as I feel her little hand covering mine.

"Mommy, I love you." she says. And that's all it took for me to cry. I just couldn't keep it in. I pulled over as I pull her close to me.

"I love you too honey. So very much." I say into her hair. Gosh? What a day, and what a way to end it. I finally got my tears under control as I drove us home.

**Ashley's POV**

After leaving Spencer in my studio I walk into the lounge seeing Kyla with a small blonde. I knew who she were before Kyla introduced us. I walk nearer as I see the blonde girl stop talking and starring at me, as if she's studying every feature on my face. My Gosh she is the spitting image of the older blonde, everything is Spencer, the blue eyes, blonde hair, that cute little pout, I bet she has the older blonde's charm as well. I like to prefer to it as the Carlin charm, because she most definitely doesn't take after her father.

Kyla saw me as she ask me with our inner voice where Spencer is, I tell her that Spencer is in the studio, she wants to know what I have done but I inform her its none of her business. The blonde stare between me and Kyla. She looks at me.

"Ashley this is Hadley, Spencer's little girl." I finally see a smile on her face.

"That you and mommy spoke about this morning." She asks my sister. She's a well inform little girl.

"Yeah. The one and only." I walk closer to her as she sits next Kyla.

"I am glad to finally meet you Hadley. I have heard so much about you."

"You did." She asks.

"Yes." Then she asks.

"Where's my mommy." I turn around seeing Spencer slip out of the studio and back into the bathroom.

"She'll be here." I say.

Not to long I see out of the corner of my eye. Spencer then the little girl saw her mommy and smile. As she ran up to her. Hugging her legs.

I saw that Spencer was in deep thought. I know exactly what she is thinking. What are we and this is to fast. Hadley doesn't even know about her being gay or even about me. This is going to hit the small blonde hard.

I see Kyla looking back and forth between me and Spencer as she knows we need to be left alone to talk about all of this.

"Hadley why don't we go order some pizza." Kyla says and the small girl was at her side following her into the kitchen I could hear the giggling from the small blonde. Will she accept me, will she ever blame me for what happened between her parents. Why am I freaking out now? Not too long ago I was making love to the girl I love I knew she had a child. I see Spencer moving closer as she sits next to me on the couch grabbing my hands. I just couldn't look at her. Cause I don't know what to do or say. Are we going to make it as a couple? Why do I even doubt this?

Until I hear her say.

"Are you okay Ashley." She says. Still holding on to my hand.

Then I heard her yell my name.

"ASHLEY!" she yells at me, when both Kyla and Hadley came back into the room. Not too long she stood up and said her goodbyes to Kyla as she passed me with her little girl in her arms. I am such and idiot. I walked over to the window as I see her stare back at me; I could see the visible tears in her eyes, as mine came falling too. I could feel Kyla standing behind me.

"You are a fucking idiot." I hear her say before slamming her bedroom door.

"I know." I said to myself. I am the biggest idiot for letting her walk out. I asked her not to leave but here I am walking away from her. You dumb ass. I walked towards the kitchen as I got my car keys, and leave the apartment. Not telling Kyla where I was going. Just hope I can fix this for good.

Reviews are more then welcome, thanks to all the newcomers.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 29:**

**Ashley's POV**

I have been driving around every suburb I can think where she might've bought a house because I know how much she wants her daughter to grow up in a neighbourhood that's similar to where they are from.

You could call me an idiot and I would say go ahead because I knew that this wasn't going to be easy. For so long this is what I wanted. Spencer but with having her come so much more. She's a mother and I am a rock star, my life is so busy that I have to travel to Australia in less then two weeks and here the love of my life moved to L.A. with her daughter and here I am the most irresponsible person you could find, maybe not irresponsible, but there is a child involve in all this.

She is what we need to think about because her family just got torn apart and here I come in the picture. The women who swept her mother of her feet.

Ugh. Ashley you dumb ass. I knock my head against the steering wheel. As I am trying to get Spencer on the line but she isn't picking up. It keeps going to her voice mail. She's not making this any easier for me as well.

Every house looks exactly the same. How does people live in area know exactly which is there house.

I stare out of my window as I scan every driveway, be haps I could spot her car. From the road but its dark and I can't see a thing. Finally the phone got picked up until I heard her voice.

"Hello." She says. Such a sweet voice for her age I thought.

"Uhm. Hello Hadley." I ask uncertain.

"Yes this is Hadley Dennison. Who am I speaking too." She says.

"Ashley." I say so soft.

"Oh." She says.

"Can I please talk to your mommy honey." I ask her. I could hear her ask her mom softly if she wants to talk. I couldn't hear the reply but all I heard was.

"Sorry, she's busy, maybe tomorrow." And the line went dead. I guess that means I have to work hard to get the older blonde to forgive me.

I drove home. I gave up on searching down all those roads. I called Kyla; even she didn't want to answer my calls.

I felt like crap right now. I need a drink.

I finally stopped at my destination and climb out of my car. I haven't been here in so long since that day. Just thinking of that day makes me smile and cry at the same time.

I knock on the door, and there in her pink pj's stand the cute blonde looking over her shoulder as her mother enters the room. For a two year old to open a door is really dangerous I should know that.

I knelt down to her level as I pick her up. She throws her arms around my neck.

"Hey sweaty isn't it passed your bedtime already." I walk her in to where her mother was sitting on the couch.

"What you doing here." She asks me. As I sat the small blonde next to her. Taking a seat on the opposite couch.

"Just been driving around and came to see how this one is doing." I point to Jordan, who stood up and showed me her new Barbie her Daddy bought her. Sometimes I forgot she's his. Sometimes I wonder if there wasn't a Spencer and a Hadley, will there have been a Blake and a Jordan in my life. Would we have gotten married and raise her as our own.

"Aunty Ashwey, where have you been." She asks me. As she gets up on my lap. While I play with her curls. I kiss her on the forehead and squeeze her into me.

"Just been really busy, nosey girl." I kiss her on the nose. I can't believe how much I love this child and it's so easy to be around her, maybe it's the idea that she's not mine. I use to come over and spend a lot of time with her when she was a baby. But things between me and Blake always end up in a fight. After the whole calling Spencer's name out in bed.

"Stop lying Ash." I hear Blake say. As she gets up and walks into the kitchen. I look down to the green eyes of the small blonde as she's frowning. The same look I saw in Aiden's eyes when he told me he knows I am good for her that I am good for the both of them. He gave me his blessing but what do I do I screw it up.

"Aunty Ashwey…" she looks like she's about to tear up. I know how that is.

"Yes baby girl." I ask her.

"Do you love me?" OMG? I hugged her and kiss the top of her head.

"Yes baby I do so very much. I love you." I say. She looks up at me and smiles.

That same smile I want to see on Hadley's face one day. Maybe I should get them to meet.

I love Jordan; she knows that her mother and I were once involved. When she was one years old she started calling me momma, but afterwards I haven't heard her call me that ever again, her parents probably explained to her.

"Me too." She says.

She wiggles herself out of my embrace and ran upstairs but before she does she says.

"Are you going to read me a story." She asks. I nod my head and walk into the kitchen. Blake sitting at the counter working on her laptop.

"What's your problem? How could you say that in front of her." I ask her as I sat opposite her closing the laptop. She stares at me for awhile before she spoke.

"Cause she thinks the world of you." she says.

"You a bitch you know that right." I tell her.

"Take one to know one right, Ash." She says with a smile.

"How did we get like this Blakey." I say. That was her nickname when we were ten.

"I don't know Ash, you fell in love with someone who wasn't me." she says with a sad smile. I lean over as I take her hand that was resting on the counter.

She looks into my eyes as I could see the tears sitting in the corners of her eyes.

"I wish it could be different. You know I love her. She's the person I want to spend my life with, and because of that love I lost my childhood best friend." I say.

"I know. I miss you. Not just to have sex with, but I miss my best friend, the girl who said she'll always be there for me. Sometimes I wish I wasn't that stupid to have slept with him, now here I am raising a daughter that my parents have taken away because I am not responsible. She's all I have Ash. She's my world. I don't want her to feel that way about me the way you felt about your mother." She started to cry. I got up from my seat and walk towards her holding her close.

I have been a bad friend to her this last year I know that.

"I am sorry for everything Blake. I love you know that." I say into her neck.

"Just not in love." She says.

I pull away not too far as I wipe the tears from her face. I kiss her on the forehead.

"She's back Blake." I say to her. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Cause she pulls away from me completely.

"She as in Spencer." She asks me. I nod my head.

"Then what you doing here. Isn't it what you have been craving for, for so long?"

I went back to sit on the chair she has sat in, as she comes near me. Putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Ash?" she say my name so soft.

"Yeah? But she brought her daughter with. I met her earlier today." I tell her.

"So." She asks raising her eyebrow.

"I don't know. It was too soon. We just reunited after being apart and now here she is, and I am the idiot I always been. Couldn't say a word when she asks me if I am okay with all of it."

"Ashley I have a daughter and you never ran away. What's the matter with you? You love Jordan. You could love her child too." She says.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I am pulling at it, from being frustrated with myself.

"That's different. We not a couple and I have been apart of Jordan's life since she was born." She looks at me with a look that says. WTF.

"Okay maybe not all the time but still."

"Talk to her and tell how you feel. You got to let her know Ash. If this is going to cause problems for the two of you." I couldn't believe she is actually giving me advice. I smiled at her.

"What?" she asks me.

"You are actually helping me getting Spencer to understand, how I feel."

"Well I am still your friend right. I know your sister hates me, maybe apart of you also do. And well I hardly know Spencer, but I want to see you happy Ash. I really do, and she is the one to make you happy. Don't be the ass you've been with me. Go beg for her forgiveness."

"But I didn't do anything wrong." I say. As I got up. She follows me as we both make our way up to Jordan's room.

"Be the Ashley she fell in love with, not the rock star Ashley Davies that treats people like crap." I see her laugh. As I bump her hip with mine. So much for making me feel better.

"You could be so glad you my best friend and the mother of that sweet girl." I tell her.

"Why?"

"Cause then I didn't have to beat the crap out of you. But you right I will make this right." We both walk into the room seeing the small blonde sprawled out on her bed, fast asleep with a picture of herself, me and her mother. On a trip we took on her second birthday. I walk over to her as I take the picture and place it back on her night stand. And brush some hair out her face. I kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight. Sweet angel." I say. Blake does the same as she stands for abit looking at me.

"She loves you a lot you know." She says.

"I know." We both walked out as she close the door but leaving it slightly open. We walked downstairs as I check the time.

"You going now." She asks me.

"Yeah. It's getting late." I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

"I am glad you came. Bye Ash." She says as she squeezes my hands.

I turn around and walk out. I stood on the porch for a bit, and made my way towards my car.

I drove home to get a good nights rest. I hope I will be able to get a hold of Spencer soon.

**Spencer's POV**

Ugh! This is so frustrating. Hadley fell asleep in the car as I drove us back home to our new house. Sometimes I wish I was still back in Ohio, just to have that familiarity around. I miss Chelsea. I knew this was going to be hard with Ashley, and the fact that I have a child. If only I thought about this before I went and slept with her again. But no, I don't listen. I told her I wasn't going to run. This is where I wanted to be with her. sharing a life with her and Hadley, here in L.A. but what will happen if she doesn't accept Hadley being apart of this relationship. Are we even going to have one now.

Aiden was always so easy to be with. But that's what love is. It's not easy. Love is something that you just have to let evolve.

I heard my cell phone go off. As I flip it open.

1 message received.

**I love you and I will love any part of you, including Hadley. Just give me a chance to explain, before you give up on us. I hope to the Lesbian God there's an us. Cos tonite I learnt what its like to be a parent, a mother.**

**Goodnite…..xox Ash**

I didn't reply back, I couldn't I didn't know what to say.

I will leave it up for the next day when I see her, hopefully.

I kiss Hadley on her forehead, as I climb in bed next to her.

I which of the light on my night stand.

Goodnight Ash….I say so soft I could barely hear my own words.

**AN: I know you guys think ash is making a mistake but put yourself in her shoes, she just feel like it's too soon cos she is not just apart of Spencer's life but there is a child that's going to be apart of her life too. It's never easy introducing your child to someone you dating cos there's always the attachment and insecurities….Me4son said it so well. Thanks.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 30:**

**Spencer's POV**

I woke up the next day, as I turn around on my side seeing no Hadley lying next to me. I got up and walk into the passage towards a noise coming from the living area, seeing her sitting right in front of the television watching her favourite cartoon again, Sponge Bob Square pants. I see her turn her head around smiling at me, lifting a bowl of flakes.

And went right back to watching the yellow sponge.

I walk back into my room, as I went straight for a quick shower. I heard a knock on my door as I comb out my damp hair that was falling in my face. Before I got to the door Hadley has already let the person in. not just one person but both sisters standing in my doorway as I come face to face with her since yesterday.

"Hadley I told you to wait until I open the door." I tell her.

She stares at me not looking happy because it's Kyla.

"It's my fault Spence, she asks who it was and I said it's me Kyla. That's like the golden password." She says as she leaves and walks into the house sitting on the couch with Hadley telling her what happened in the cartoons thus far. I turn back to face the person still occupying my front entrance. I couldn't help but think she's cute with the small frown on her face.

"And what brings you here this early." I ask. Don't get me wrong I am happy to see her, but showing up at my house is just not the right way to go.

"Well I was thinking we could talk. I didn't get a reply back last night, so I had to bribe my sister to bring me to you. So here I am." She says.

I look inside where Kyla and Hadley have been giggling like two small kids. I mean one of them is. She found me starring at her as she shows with her raising eyebrow she's sorry to bring Ash if it's going to course any more problems.

I mouth back to her its okay. And she goes back to eating a bowl of flakes as well. Damn that girl really made herself at home. But I am glad there are someone other then me for Hadley. Maybe someone her own age but beggars can't be chooses. I hear Ashley clearing her throat.

"What?" I ask her with agitated look.

I open the door wider so that she can come in. don't want the neighbours to run there mouths about the new residents.

I walk into the kitchen as I know she is following me in there. I pour water into the kettle as I switch it on. I turn around and she's leaning against the wall as you enter from the lounge to the kitchen. I went to go sit at the kitchen counter, directing she should get a chair and sit down with my eyes.

"I know you hate me, Spence but really I didn't mean to react that way. I knew you had a daughter and how many times haven't I said I will be there for the both of you." she says. She pulls my hand towards hers as she goes on.

"But this was just so soon I mean, we just got reunited and now I am with this amazing women and she is a mother. That's like whole package deal." She smiles sadly but I am not.

"Ugh?" she drop my hands as she push herself out the chair.

"You not going to say anything! Yell a little at me! Shout at me! Call me stupid. Are you just going to sit there and ignore me? Maybe this is a mistake. Bye Spencer." And she walks out the kitchen. I sat there until I saw Kyla walking into the kitchen.

"Damnit will you two just be adults here and talk this thing out. I am taking Hadley for a few hours I stopped her she's in the lounge. Go fix this please." And she storms out too. Then I hear Hadley shouting bye mommy, bye Ashley and I knew they were gone. It took me awhile to get my barring together and walk into the lounge seeing Ashley sitting there with tears running down her face. I couldn't bare it; I couldn't bear seeing her hurt like this.

"Spencer." She says. Her voice thick with hurt in it.

"Ash?" I say. As I walk closer to where she is sitting with a picture of me and Hadley in her hand. She points with her finger and looking at me.

"I want to be apart of this." She says. Her sobs got louder as her shoulders were shaking. I threw both my arms around her shoulders as her head laid on my chest. The tears fell from my own eyes. As I ran my fingers through her hair.

"I…I never had this (sniffling) a family (sniffling) with a mother (sniffling)...my mom hated me (sniffling)." She said

"It's okay. Don't worry this family will love you." I say back. Still holding the sad girl in my arms.

"No!" she says as she pulls out of my arms, but not to far.

"No?" I ask her. Not knowing what her no means.

She wipes her face with her own hands putting the picture down on the coffee table. Still pointing to the picture she says.

"I don't want your pity." She whispers out.

"I want you to accept me for all my flaws. I am not perfect. I made mistakes. But Spencer loving you and Hadley is not at all a mistake." She says. She stood up.

I let her talk cause it seems as there is a lot more going on with her.

"There's this little girl, she is the reason why I am here now. When I looked at her and her smiling face knowing how confusing her innocent life is at such a young age, I thought of Hadley, and of Aiden, and about us." she was still wiping of the tears. I wanted to get up but she stopped me.

"She use to think I was her mother, well she called me momma, and you know what I wasn't afraid, I didn't freak out at all. She helped me realise how amazing kids can be and yet she's only two. She ask me last night do I love her, she almost cried and I told her I love her so very much, and just seeing that smile on her face made me know that I can do this. If I could be the type of person Jordan could look up to then maybe I can do the same for Hadley." She stops and looks at me.

"Jordan." I ask. Who's Jordan I ask myself.

"Yeah. Blake's daughter." She says. The daughter she had with Clarke, when I saw the picture of her I saw Blake in those eyes.

"Blake made me realise what's right."

"Blake." I ask again.

"Please don't repeat every thing I say back to me I hate that." She says in a serious tone.

"Well I hate the fact you saw your ex girlfriend while we were fighting." I say. I stood up as I walk closer to her.

"Spencer. She's my best friend and last night we spoke more about us getting together. But that's not why I am here, besides the obvious. I am here to make a proposal." She says. What?

"What! Ash?" I ask her.

"No wait, it's not like that at all." She says. As she grabs both my hands kissing the inside of it.

"I have waited my whole life for someone who would complete me, and you my dear are the one for me. You it for me. Spencer Carlin would you like to be my girl friend." she says. I stood there with her hands in mine. Gosh?

I see the little frown. I couldn't help it I had to. Walk closer as I capture her lips. The kiss wasn't deep no tongue were necessary. Just the feel of her lips connecting on mine. Was enough for me? I pull away as I leaned my forehead against hers. Cupping both her cheeks with my hands, stroking her lips lightly with my thumb.

We stare deep into the others eyes.

"Yes. Yes. I will be your girlfriend." Before I could say anything else her lips were on mine as I could feel myself move backwards but before that happened I pull away again completely.

"I think we shouldn't do that now Ash. I mean we can't do that. Not now." I say out of breath.

"Oh man. That's the best part." She says with a pout. I kiss her one more time.

"Are we telling Hadley about us." she asks me. I could see that she was nervous that the little blonde will not accept her or even us.

"She will love you Ash. Just now you have some competition." I wink at her. And walk back into the kitchen and made us some coffee. We sat on the couch, as Ashley was sitting behind me with her legs at either side of me. My own fingers were playing with the hands that were holding me.

"You will never let go will you." I ask her.

"Never. Not when it feels this good." She says as she kisses the top of my head.

"I love you Ashley."

"I love you Spencer."

Hopefully one day Spencer Davies. I thought to myself. A girl can wish.

**Please review. And thank you to those who always review. I 3 you guys.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 31:**

**Ashley's POV**

It wasn't easy to get Kyla to take me to Spencer; I told her everything that happened when I got back from Blake's house. First she scolds me why I needed to go to Blake's house and not come straight to her, but I think it was the best idea to go there.

She finally gave in but for the weeks I am gone she will have ownership over my new car. My new sports Lexus I bought awhile ago. I don't know why she doesn't buy herself an expensive car its not like she hasn't got the money. My Dad hired her company to redo all the offices for the firm, plus she scored several other contracts from associates and friends of our mothers. But no little sister wants what I have and at no cost involve. But who am I to deny her the privilege to drive such an awesome car.

When we got at Spencer's I knew I should've phoned and not just show up at her door, but I couldn't stand her not answering or letting Hadley answer to tell me she is busy, which I know isn't even true. Kyla and the small blonde has really gotten close over the short period she's been hanging around the Carlin girls, so when she opened the door, I couldn't help but be jealous that she is that close to my sister and not me.

I saw Spencer walking closer giving the small blonde her best serious look she could come up with, but Kyla had to jump in and save the poor girl, never knew Spencer could be that strict. That's another turn on. I stood there and she doesn't even recognise my presence I had to clear my throat for her to give me some kind of attention, I hate it when people don't consider me in a crowd.

She opens the door wider as I follow her into the kitchen, such a nice house; this is the type a house you will see a family gather together on special occasions, and Christmas.

She was sitting at the kitchen counter, directing I should take a seat. I walked over and sat down.

"I know you hate me, Spence but really I didn't mean to react that way. I knew you had a daughter and how many times haven't I said I will be there for the both of you." I say, as I pull her hands towards me, holding it.

"But this was just so soon I mean, we just got reunited and now I am with this amazing women and she is a mother. That's like whole package deal."

She doesn't say anything but sit there and starring at me.

I was starting to get aggravated.

"Ugh?" I push myself out of the chair. Still she's just sitting there. I had enough.

"You not going to say anything! Yell a little at me! Shout at me! Call me stupid. Are you just going to sit there and ignore me? Maybe this is a mistake. Bye Spencer." I walked out of the kitchen and walk into Kyla; I saw Hadley starring at me as tears starts to fall from my eyes. All I heard was Kyla storming off to the kitchen and then heard her say.

"Damnit will you two just be adults here and talk this thing out. I am taking Hadley for a few hours I stopped her she's in the lounge. Go fix this please." She comes past me again as both her and Hadley say goodbye. I must say that girl will go wherever Kyla is going without questioning, maybe sometime I should spend some alone time with her, without Kyla and her mother.

I heard the chair in the kitchen making a cracky sound then hearing her soft steps making her way towards me.

I cried she spoke and well when I saw her face in shock saying that I want to make a proposal she really thought I was going to propose, maybe I should've gone that route but how much more pain wouldn't that have coursed, its enough that I am shit scared of actually talking to Hadley about the fact her mother and I are now in a relationship, maybe I should get Jordan to talk to her, she'll do a much better job then me.

We were sitting on her couch, with her sitting in between my legs as my arms are slinked around her waist, feel so good to have her near me, even though I have much more better ideas to make this even great but she stopped me before I could rip her clothes off, damn Spence what a way to ruin a girls dreams.

We were sitting quietly until I heard her ask me.

"You will never let go will you." she ask me.

"Never. Not when it feels this good." I reply with a grin as I kiss the top off her hair, it smells so good, I move my lips to her neck as I kiss it then smell her there…mmmmm

"I love you Ashley."

"I love you Spencer."

Hopefully one day she will be Mrs Spencer Carlin Davies, I can dream, a girl can dream right.

We moved to her bedroom just lying in each others arms, Kyla has text me and ask how much longer before she needs to fetch me, I lied and said Spencer is not making it easy for me to sweep her off her feet. I know I shouldn't have but I wanted some much needed alone time with her before that world gets more interrupted by the small blonde. I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear her call my name.

"Ash! Ashley!" I hear her yell.

"What?" I ask back.

"I have been calling you like forever where your head at." She asks me. as she turn herself in my arms, looking directly at me, I can see her licking her lips as I know I am doing the same, I couldn't anymore when I leaned forward and kissing her lips so lightly, so softly, it felt amazing, like sparks being lit up in the night sky, she's mine all mine and I can do this for the rest of my life.

"What was that for?" She asks me smiling.

"That was for making me the happiest person when you said yes to being my girlfriend." I could feel a blush creep up my face.

"Babe, you blushing." she says laughing at my redden cheeks.

"That's what you do. Cause I don't blush. Ashley Davies do not blush." I tell her. Kissing her again.

"She does now." I hear her say into the kiss.

The kisses got deepen as I felt her sucking on my tongue tasting the flavour of her mints. Mixed with coffee. I moaned into the kiss as my hands moved up from her lower back all the way to her neck. Moving her on top of me.

I feel her pull away out of breath as she's panting.

My own heart was beating a mile faster. Like I have run a marathon. She laid her forehead against mine.

"We shouldn't." she says.

"What?" I ask teasing her as I go back kissing her chin. Taking my tongue and drag it all along her jaw.

"We might get caught." She says. Trying to convince herself, when a moan escaped her perfect luscious lips. My hands moved back down to her lower back, touching the soft skin there, seeing her shivering by every touch. So soft, she has the silkiest skin you could imagine.

"Ash. (Kiss) Please (kiss). This (kiss) is getting (kiss) to much." She says. All the while kissing me back.

It wasn't to long when we heard the door open. Gosh? If it isn't enough for her to know that I am the main reason why her parents didn't work out she had to see me, with her mother on top, and my hands up her mother's shirt. Kill me now, please do.

We both saw the blue eyes starring at us, not registering what she saw, when Kyla came after her calling Spencer's name that they back. I see Kyla holding her hands to her mouth then taking the other to close Hadley's eyes, moving the small girl away, and then closing door.

I turn to face Spencer as she looks at me with an angered look. OMG. Don't tell me she's about to blame this all on me now.

Like I was the only one who enjoyed it. She pulls away and then rolled over then off the bed. She stood standing on the left side of the room, as I finally got my own thoughts together and walked over to her, but the minute I touched her she pulled away. Oh fuck no. she's not going to do this by pushing me away, not after what happened.

"You should go Ashley." I stood there not moving.

"Spence. Please we can explain this. She might understand this." She looks at me throwing me with the pillow and yelling.

"Understand! Understand what, that her mother is fucking women! That what she saw was not really what was going to happen!" She yells. Since I have known Spencer she's not the one to cuss. Or is it just what I bring out of her.

"A while ago you asked me that I will never let go, but what you doing now is just that. Spencer, please I want to be here with you, and I want to be next to you when we tell her." I point to my chest we then her, but yet she doesn't want me.

"Go? Please. Ashley please go." She asks me with tears in her eyes.

I walked past her seeing Kyla sitting on the couch. She throws me my keys; damn she's not even going to leave with me.

I walked out slamming the front door and got in my car. This is just fucking great, I tell myself, as I pull into my garage and climb out the car into my apartment. I need to drink. I need hard liquor. I rampage all the cupboards until I came by some left over bourbon from a while ago. I walked into my bedroom, playing some heavy metal music. I just want to block this day, I can't believe the minute something happens between us and we happy, it last for a nano second and we back to being apart. I can't live without her; she's my life, my world.

An hour later I saw Kyla standing in my doorway pulling the bottle out my hands.

"What the fuck, Ky!" I yelled at her.

"Why? Why Ashley, please tell me and make me understand." She asks me. What a dumb ass thing to ask me.

"Are you high Kyla." I ask. Grabbing the bottle back but not so much luck when she threw the bottle against the far end of my bedrooms wall. What a crazy bitch.

"No but are you. you promised Ash." She says as I could see visible tears in my sister's eyes.

"I didn't know alright. How should I have known that was going to happen." I tell her, my own heart breaking for what Spencer and Hadley is going through now.

"But Why?" she ask. I moved close to her as I held her in my arms.

"Blame it on my hormones sis." She hit me on the arm. I know why Kyla feels this way, why she feels so attach to the small girl now, in the time our parents were separated my mother cheated, and one night Kyla found another man on top our mother. The girl was traumatised, and what I am doing now is just reminding her off that time.

"But…" she says again.

"We weren't going to do anything. Plus its not like we cheating, she's my girlfriend." She looks like she could definitely slap me now.

"Ash, I don't care about your hormones or that you and Spencer aren't cheating but the thing I hate is what both you guys did. You should've waited and keep it in your pants. Haven't you both learned from what happened a year ago? Sleeping together isn't going to make everything just magically fall in place does it now." She storms out and I could hear the door slam, as it zings in my ears.

I throw myself onto my bed. And that's where I fell asleep.

I heard a voice but couldn't really recall where I have heard it before, then one, two, and three….ASHWEY! Jordan, what's the girl doing here.

I open my eyes seeing two sets of green eyes starring at me.

"Mommy is she alive." I hear her ask her mother, until I heard Kyla saying.

"She better be angel." She picks the small girl up and carries her out the room. Since when is Kyla and Blake friends. What the F is going on here.

"Get up Ash." I hear Blake call as she also follows my sister.

I got up with a massive head ache. Jeez I haven't even drank that much, I walk into the kitchen. A bottle of water and some Advil were handed over to me as I went to go sit down next to the hyperactive two year old. Then it clicks, I am going to borrow the small blonde to win over the two other blondes that might work right.

"Ash, so Kyla told me what you did. How stupid are you. Told you to talk but no knowing you can't keep it in your pants for too long." She says. I look at Kyla as the coffee falls out her mouth because I just hit her up the head.

"Thanks a lot Kyla. And any way since when are you two buddy buddy." I point towards the two ladies.

"Since you were gone, I didn't want to tell you the other night, but…" I could see they both are about to either spill something are laugh at an inside joke. I stare at both of them as I can see Kyla can't keep it in anymore.

"But what?" I ask.

"Your sister and I…well we gave into it Ash, we didn't want you to find out, but…" she stops again. Laughing.

"We slept together." She burst out and Kyla almost fall of her chair as the little girl just giggle next to me.

"What? You kidding right." The look on my face must've looked like I am pissed right now, at the both of them.

"Ash, she's only joking, jeez, don't want your leftovers." Kyla said. As Blake just gave a look.

"She's totally not my type. My type is blonde blue eyes got a thing for literature."

"Blake stop pissing Ash off." Kyla says.

"Don't think you could satisfy her like I do honey." I say as I kiss the giggling girl next to me.

"I don't even want to hear it." Blake says.

"Me neither." Kyla replied.

"Any way I have to go see her later. I am not letting her face this alone. Blake can I borrow your daughter." I ask.

"No." she says.

"No. why not. She might reason with Spencer."

"Well no and she's spending time with Clarke." It's like Blake want to gag when ever Clarke's name been mention, I know the feeling. The ass still hasn't come back to me on the report, plus I knew he knew Spencer were in town, cause she's working Dave. Dumbass Clarke.

"Oh. Well. Bye ladies. You." I show at Jordan.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She says. As Kyla pick her up and they all left the loft.

**Spencer's POV**

I couldn't tell her, I just didn't know what to do, but I knew that it's got to be done. I didn't mean to take out on Ash, seems every time we get close there's always something keeping us apart. After Kyla left to go check up on Ashley, I know it's hard for her to have stayed here and not go with Ash, but it's not like I have asked her. I remember what she said before she left last night.

"You can't put this all on her Spence, she wants to be there for you, and she wants to be there when you tell Hadley. I just wish the both of you will grow up and think what you both want if its each other then I am happy for you guys, but know this she's just confuse right now. You need to tell your daughter Spencer. Tell her she will love you the same. Please I want this to all work out good, but you and my sister should stop letting your hormones get in the way." She says. As she hugs me and left to go see what Ashley is doing?

I should've called her to come over. Maybe she will just show up as always. But first I need to talk with Hadley; she needs to hear it from me.

"Had." I pull her onto my lap as she laid her head against my shoulder.

"Mommy, when am I going to visit Daddy." She asks.

"His coming on your birthday sweaty." I tell her.

She lifts her head off my shoulder.

"Sweaty about what you saw last night." She may not understand this.

"With Ashley." She asks me. I nod my head yes.

"Well honey, mommy really like her." I tell her. She just stares at me.

"What does that mean." She asks me.

"Mommy like her, like….." I got scared.

"You kissed her like you kissed Daddy." She asks me once again.

"Yes baby. That's what people do when they like each other. But Ashley and I knew each other a very long time now." I continue to explain.

"But you a girl." She scrunches her face a bit.

"Yes." How do I just say it?

"Yes. Baby mommy like girls. I know you may not understand it right now, but Ashley is a good person. I am not going to force you to like her. But she's just like Kyla. They also twins." I tell her. A small smile tug at her lips.

"Really. Like Uncle Glen and you." she asks me.

"Yep."

"Mommy, I love you." she says as she throws both her hands around my shoulder.

"I love you Hadley. Are we okay now."

"Yes. When do I get to meet her mommy." She asks, looking at me.

"Are you sure."

"Yes." And went back to hugging me. My girl is really growing up to quick.

Wish Ashley would call me are just show up already.

It wasn't long when we heard a knock on the door. Hadley ran to the door but first looking at me then I nod for her to go ahead. The door swung open and there stand the brunette I have been dreaming about.

She stares at Hadley then back at me.

"I know it's become a thing of me to just show up whenever, but I have a valid reason. And this is for you." she hand over a package to Hadley. I saw Hadley thank her as she opens it. It was a 3D movie of Sponge Bob Square Pants with a Barbie doll. She squealed when she saw it.

"I Love it. Thank you Ashley." She says. Ashley looks at me as I let her into the lounge.

"Spencer I am sorry what happened I hope you could forgive me. But …." She says.

"Ash its okay, she knows about us, just before you came I told her I like you." she raise her eyebrow.

"Just like." She questions me.

"Yeah, like." I say back.

"She likes you too mommy." I hear Hadley say to both of us.

"That's good to know, and what about you." Ashley asks her. As she walks over to the small blonde trying to open up her new Barbie. She has quite a selection, it must be Kyla who told her what Hadley would love, but buying her over isn't going to help the transformation. They are both my girls. I stood there at the back of the couch watching the two talks.

"I like you too." Hadley says. Then I hear.

"But I love aunty Kywa." She says. As Ashley laughs.

"Its okay, most girls love her. But there is someone I would like you too meet sometime if it's okay with your mommy though." She turns to face me.

"Ash I think it's to soon, one step at a time."

"Okay, I am getting ahead of myself here. But your mothers right. We need us time first. What do you say the three of us go get some ice cream." That was like the golden rule any one who buys her ice cream are the best.

"Yay. Can us mom, can we." She asks all excited.

"Yes why not if Ashley's buying then sure." Ashley smiles at me then lift the girl up from the floor.

"Well ladies lets go then." She says as she walks over to me grabbing my hand, then whisper in my ear.

"Thank you." and I follow both girls to Ashley's car. Must say my women know how to win a girls heart over.

**AN: this was quite a long ****chapter, but it needed to be written. **

**I really love writing WHTM, even though I never thought I will get to see chapter 31 but here I am still enjoying writing this story and don't want to stop with it either but like all things do come to an end.**

**I just broke up with my bf and well it's hard to write about love when you yourself aren't feeling all loved, but I am doing my best to keep the love of Spashley as real as possible.**

**Thanks for the reviews this story is nothing without you guys who make it your favourite and always reviewing. I love you all.**


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: I know I have been slacking in the updates but I have been really busy getting my other writing done. Now I can concentrate on WHTM, thanks to those who loved the one shot Every Time. **

**Thanks for the kind words from all my readers I love u all, I am doing much better.**

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

**Chapter 32:**

**Spencer's POV**

Ashley has been gone for a month now, I was supposed to go fetch her at the airport but instead I send Kyla to go.

This month has gone by so slowly for me, being away from her has been the hardest thing to do. Ever since we got back together it's been great. Every night before I go to bed she would call, first she speaks to Had, then later well end the night with her speaking what she will do to me when she comes home.

I felt a hand pulling me as we scan the airport for someone that Hadley can't wait to see. She's been up by seven already and the flight only came in at ten this evening.

"Mommy can you see anyone yet." She asks me.

"No, honey. "She's bouncing up and down from all the sugar Kyla gave her. I need to have a chat with her, giving my child too much sweets, like she can't say no, when Hadley ask for them.

Hadley and Ashley has started hanging out alone a few times but on the last trip to Disney World, she dragged Kyla with, Ash wasn't so happy about that. I was too deep in thought thinking about a certain hot brunette, with the cutest nose crinkle and golden brown eyes that I didn't see Hadley drop my hand and run towards the person we were waiting for.

The smile on both there faces was priceless. I know they missed the other so much, part of me still hates myself for it, but at least I know I did the right thing in the end.

"There she is." I hear the voice say to my little girl. She buries her head in his neck.

"I missed you." she says. As she throw both arms around the shoulders.

"Aw I miss you too sweetheart, you my princess. I got all your drawings. It's a work of art."

I walk closer to both of them.

"Hey." I say.

"Spencer, you look beautiful as always."

"And you don't look to shabby. Aiden I missed you." he hugs me still holding our little girl.

She lifts her head smiling at the both of us.

"Daddy I missed you. Did you bring my presents from grandma and pa." she asks him.

"I sure did." He says.

"Come lets go home." I tell the both of them.

"Spence are you sure, that its okay for me to stay with I could still get a hotel room for a few days." He says. I know I haven't exactly spoken to Ash about this, I just hope its not going to become a big deal. Plus I am doing it for Hadley, and Aiden knows it's been over between us even before I left Ohio, more than a month ago.

"It's okay Aiden. We both want you there, right honey." I ask her.

"Yes. Daddy is my room still in your house." She asks her father. I had to laugh, where else will the room run too.

"Yes. I can't wait for you to come visit. Can she Spence." He turns his head to me. As he put Hadley down getting his luggage.

"Sure I don't see any reason why not." The small blonde jump up and down bouncing and giggling grabbing her father's hands. He looks at me.

"Spence should I be worried here." He asks smiling.

"Too much sugar I guess." I smile taking some of the bags from him walking to my car.

"I thought we had like a rule one sweet every five hours, you give a handful every minute." He asks me, in a serious tone.

I open the car's booth putting the bags in there. Before I could answer she does it for me.

"Its not mommy, its aunty Kywa Daddy, she never says no. unlike mommy." She says.

"See don't blame mommy." I tell him we both start to laugh. As we drove back home with Hadley at the back talking none stop about just everything, here and there she would mention Ashley , then Aiden would give me a look, but other then that Kyla is all this girl can talk about until Aiden said. I got to meet this Kyla who's making my daughter so happy.

I just raise my eyebrow at him.

Well maybe he will also find her irresistible, seeing as I haven't seen Kyla date anyone.

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We got home as Hadley was fast asleep. I think all the bouncing and talking tired the small blonde out. Aiden ask to carry her to her room. I showed him where.

"Spence this house look amazing, I knew you would make it feel like a home for our daughter, it seems like she's fitting in real good." He says as he lay her down brushing some strain hair from her forehead kissing her head then we walked out. I showed him to the guess room as he went in. I walk out to the kitchen to make us some coffee. I wonder if Ashley's flight was late or if she's that tired I haven't heard from her or Kyla. Well maybe I will see her tomorrow. Just before she shows up without letting her know Aiden's staying here.

"Hey, you still like being in deep thought." I smile at him. As he came to sit on the opposite side of me. I hand him over the mug as he take small sips from it.

"Still making the best coffee too. How have you been Spencer." He asked me.

"I am good. How you?" I ask.

"Please Spencer I am okay with it, don't worry." He says.

"I am really happy. Hadley is laughing more." I say. He gives me that look, like he wants to know more.

"If you not going to say it, then I will ask. How is Ashley." He asks me.

"She's great, she's been touring in Australia for a month, and she's coming home today."

"You mean here at your house, you guys live together."

"No, not at all. She hasn't even stayed over. We very careful with Hadley just opening doors without knocking." Just remembering the last incident.

"She found you guys." He asks.

"Yeah but not doing anything besides kissing."

"Mmmmm, just thinking about it now…mmmmm?" I hit him against the arm.

"You such a pervert you know that."

"It's every guys dream."

"Yeah but in our case it shouldn't be. What's happening with you." I ask him. All of a sudden his face turns sad.

His brother died two weeks ago and I couldn't make it, with Hadley and school, it wasn't possible, Derrick has been a good friend of mine.

"I just miss him you know. And I know you couldn't come back, but I really needed you and to hold my daughter. I feel so all alone sometimes. And lost." I got up from my seat and held him in my arms.

"I know. And I am sorry, I really am." I tell him.

"its okay Spence, I didn't come here to lay a guilt trip on you, I am just glad we could talk, and just be here and spend time with my daughter, I am not here to intrude with yours and Ashley's relationship." He says. As I went back to sit in the vacant chair next to him.

"Yeah it also hasn't been smooth running for us, but we got through it."

"I am glad; I always go to Chelsea and just chat, she's about to pop that baby. We thought it was going to happen like early this week, Clay is like on the edge, because you know how moody she can get, and by being pregnant triple that." We both laugh, because I know what his been thinking about.

"He would've been three years now." He says.

"Yip Aiden Junior." I say sadly. In all truth I haven't thought about the baby in so long, I moved past it, but I know it's not fair to him for me to just cut that memory out completely.

"I know Spence didn't mean to bring that up. I have a little girl who I love very much, thanks to you." he says. Holding my hand.

"Well I think its time I go to bed, I am really beat, and that flight seems longer. Goodnight Spencer." He kisses me on the fore head and walk into his room. I took the cups and rinse it.

I walked back in my room when I hear my phone go off.

I flip it open and it's an msg.

1 message received

**Baby I am sorry I was hoping to come over but I am beat. I wish it was your face I saw instead my sisters. Goodnight my Ash**

I hit reply

**Miss you more. Yeah I would've but I will see you tomorrow. Goodnight love you. oxoxx Spence**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It was early morning when I heard voices, Hadley's giggling travelled through the walls. I went to take a quick shower just to be fresh for the new day. I walked into the kitchen finding Aiden making choc chip pancakes in smiley faces, and Hadley singing with him to some cartoon, now I know where she gets that from. I walked closer until I stood next her as I'm kissing her cheek.

"Morning mommy." She says.

"Morning baby." I tell her. Just when I was about to get coffee, Aiden poured me some and hand it to me.

"Thank you."

He went back to his cooking and singing with Hadley. I am going to have my hands full with these two.

"So how did you sleep." I ask him. He took awhile before answering.

"Really good. What you have planned for later." He asks me.

"Why?" he placed a plate with my favourite choc chip pancakes and syrup in front of me, I smiled as I dig in. mmmmmmmmmmhhh.

"Just that I want to spend some time with Hadley, if it's okay with you. I know you have your hands full Spence, but seeing as I am here now I could take some things of your hands, but its up to you." I look between Had then Aiden, both waiting patiently for my reply.

"Please mommy." She asks.

"Sure why not. Aiden you didn't have to ask, but I am glad you did." I tell him. The both of them high five the other as they both sat down eating there breakfast, I didn't hear anyone knocking at the front door or the person walking into the kitchen while Hadley ask me question.

"Mommy isn't it great Daddy's here." I nod yes. Until we heard someone clearing there throat. I look up and locked eyes with golden brown eyes, she looks at me like I have done something wrong. Then she stares at Aiden then back at me.

U know that look when you are jealous seeing the person you love with there ex.

"Ashley?" Hadley was the first to get off her chair and go hug the girl standing at the kitchen entry.

"When did you come back." She drags Ashley's hand.

"I want you to meet my Daddy." Aiden looks at Ashley not knowing what to say. Until she finally spoke up.

"Oh hey. How you doing." She asks him.

"I am doing good, just being with my daughter again is awesome enough." He looks between me and Ashley.

"Princess why don't we give mommy and Ashley some time to talk." He directs it to me.

"Okay. I missed you a lot and mommy." Ashley knelt down to the blonde and hugged her back.

"I missed you too. I bought you a gift, but I forgot it at home." She says. As she got up kissing Hadley on the cheek.

"I will get it later right." She says.

"Okay Had." Aiden say.

"Bye mommy, bye Ashley." And she walks out holding Aiden hands. I threw the car keys at him. As he mouths thank you.

I got off my chair as I walk over to her giving her a kiss, but she didn't kiss back. I pull away, starring her in the eyes.

"Ash?" I say.

"Why didn't you tell." She points to the where Aiden and Hadley has just left.

I turn around going back to my seat.

"Tell you what." I ask her. I know, I should've told her.

"Aiden is he the reason why you couldn't come pick me up and sent Kyla." She asks. What's the big deal? I had no other way.

"Ash, don't be unreasonable. His my daughter's father." Okay maybe that was wrong to say.

"Yeah. And thanks for informing me. I thought we could talk about this but I see that we can't."

'Are we fighting because I really don't see the need why? Its Hadley's birthday and even before we moved here they planned on spending that day together…and I might have to go with." I say the last few words so soft hoping she hasn't heard, but the look she's giving me tells me she did.

"You got to be kidding me right." She stood with both hands on her hips. Pissed off Ashley is really hot.

"Well if it bugs you this much I just have to tell them no." I say.

"I just want to spend some time with my girlfriend and I didn't know said girlfriend got her ex husband staying in her house."

"Ashley please this is stupid you don't have to be jealous, it's not like I am going sleep with him, we friends. Come here." I tell her.

She moves slowly until she is standing between my legs.

"Now give momma some sugar." I had to laugh. I always wanted to say that.

"Anytime babe. But do you think it will be okay with Aiden to babysit tonight Kyla is off to Baltimore this morning and I have the place to myself." She winks at me, knowing what's cooking up her head.

"Mmmmmmmmm? You and me? All alone, I think I can get him to babysit." She moves closer as I capture her lips, my hand dropped to her lower back pulling her closer as her own fingers ran threw my hair. She moves her lips to my neck, kissing and nibbling. I could feel the warmth of her tongue sucking lightly on my ear.

"Tonight I will show you how much I love you, over and over." She whispers into my ears.


	34. Chapter 34

**AN: I know it took me long enough but I finally got the proper chapter for you, I know a few of you weren't to happy with Spencer not telling Ash, but like I always say what is Spashley without any drama, I can come up with the smallest or the innocent thing for them to fight about but don't worry its been explain in the follow up chapters hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I want to dedicate this chapter a very good friend me4son...**

**Chapter 33****:**

**Spencer's POV**

A few hours after Ashley left, I wait for Aiden and Hadley to arrive, but as I was walking towards my room, I hear a knock on my front door, thinking its Aiden who's being a gentlemen and is waiting on me to open up for him. I flung the door open seeing a strange person standing there with something in his hands (_AN: I don't know what you call that thing you put the dresses in, im totally blank iam sorry guys)_

"Are you Spencer Carlin." He asks me.

"Yes." I say unsure of what his reason is being here. He gives me a clipboard.

"Sign there please." He points to where I must sign on the clipboard. I finally signed and handed it over to him. He hands over the black zip up bag. I accept it and close the door behind me. Confusion was written all over my face as I walk in to my bedroom laying it on the bed. I unzip the bag and as I slowly unzip it I see this red material but not realising what it is until I have unzipped it all the way. My GOSH? It's so beautiful I took it out and hanged it in front of my wardrobe door. On the inside of the dress is a card attached. I took the card and open it up. I couldn't believe that she will go all out.

**Dear Spence my love**

**Tonight I want to show you what true love means. What I have come to realise that we only live once and time may stand still but you are all I want and think of.**

**I want you to wear this dress because it will mean so much to me.**

**Your one and only **

**Love **

**Ashley **

I was speechless as I sat on the bed, starring at the dress and my eyes scanning over the words as I felt a tear drop running down my cheek and on the piece of paper. Gosh I love her so much. I know earlier today she was mad at me because I haven't told her about Aiden but yet she forgave me. there is nobody in this world who will ever had forgiven me for keeping it a secret, but it wasn't a secret it was just timing, I was going to tell her, cause I never want to feel that pain I have felt when I walked out on her. His not a tread, his been very exceptive really, he accepted the fact we will never be together, the only thing that will bond us forever is the fact that we have Hadley. Ashley has been great with Hadley and I hope that one day I will get to share children with her. If I should ever be pregnant again, it should be her kids I would bare.

I didn't see him standing in my doorway, neither did I see him walking towards me and sitting next to me, holding my face in his hands, as his thumbs brushed away some of the tears I didn't realised were still falling. I look up at him.

"Spence. What's wrong?" he asked me in the most sincere voice.

I just stare at him, because I am extremely happy as my eyes turn towards the dress hanging a few feet away. His own face turns that way as I see a slight change in his face. I couldn't really see but from the side it looked like a frown.

"She's the luckiest person in the whole world and you…" he looks back at me. As unshed tears could be seen in the corners of his emerald eyes.

But then the frown turned slightly into a smile.

"Going to look beautiful in that dress Spencer." He says. He stood up and walked to the door stopping. He slowly turned around looking at the picture off Hadley and me on my dresser.

"I am the luckiest guy to have a beautiful daughter and today was great and I don't want to cause and trouble for you and Ashley. The way Had speaks about her, I know she means well and I would like to thank her for putting a smile on both my blonde girls faces." And with that he walked out not looking back. I heard Hadley calling him and then I heard him asking her what she wants for supper.

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It was two hours before I have to leave for Ashley's loft for dinner. I wonder what she's got plan for us this evening, cause this is all to formal. I was finally done with my bubble bath; I had my hair done, all by myself and just the make up. The dress though I had trouble to get in it. I think she chose this specific one for her own eyes. Not knowing who to ask to pull up the zip. I call for Hadley as she come running in the room. She stopped dead in her tracks starring at me. She has never saw me dressed up like this, I think I have only dressed up twice like this when Aiden and I attended dinner dates with his boss and colleagues. I can't believe she wants me to leave the house looking like this. I watch as Hadley's mouth slowly open and shuts, I had to laugh at her.

"Mommy?" she says. As I turn to her.

"Yes." I ask back.

"You look really pretty in that dress, can I get it when you done." She walks closer as she hugs my waist.

"Sure. When you turn thirty. "I say.

"That's old." She says. Lifting her head from my stomach.

"Okay. But could you do me a favour." I ask bending a little lower for her to reach.

"Zip me up please honey." She goes behind me and struggle struggle she zipped me up. I could see her tongue sticking out in the corner of her mouth as she has this really serious look as she zips it up. Finally it was zipped all the way.

"There you go." She says to me.

"Thank you. Now you must be a good girl for Daddy tonight." I tell her. As she go and sit on my bed.

"Sure. I will be a big girl mommy. Mommy don't forget my gift from Ashley's okay." And with that she runs out shouting. What's up with her running?

As I make my way to grab my car keys I could feel Aiden's eyes burning on my skin, as he is checking me out. Like I can't read his mind.

I turn around seeing him smile.

"Aid, we spoke about this now please stop what you doing." I say it in such a serious tone that he looked completely embarrassed by my statement. Before I could say anything else we heard a knock at the door, as he stood up and opened it. We both look at the other noticing the tall dude from this afternoon with his suit on bending over and greeting me. I had to laugh.

"Let me guess you here for a Miss Carlin, right." Aiden ask the guy. He seems nervous like his doing something wrong I know who's behind all this, she's really making tonight special all I want to know is why is she doing all this, okay maybe I know why, but this is just to much, I haven't even received this much special treatment and I co- wrote and produced a film. My girl is pulling all the romantic moves; she's so getting lucky…mmmmmmmm...just thinking about it I get all tingly inside. I love her so much. A women near my heart Ashley Davies I love you. I say to myself seeing Hadley and Aiden standing outside checking the limo out from the inside.

"Jeez Spence this is some lucky ride champagne and all. You are one lucky girl." He says.

"Mommy beautiful." She says to her father. I raised my eye brow knowing what his going to say.

"Yes and mommy needs to go." I kiss Hadley on her cheek and fore head.

"Be good okay." I tell her.

"Yes mommy." She says. Annoyed by my constant telling her to be good for her Dad.

"Spence she will be good don't worry go and have a great evening." He gives me hug and I got in the limo as we drove out my drive way seeing the two people I love so much standing there waving. I just hope Aiden would move on and find someone amazing to share his life with.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 34****:**

**Ashley's POV**

Watching Spencer with Aiden and Hadley sitting around the kitchen counter having breakfast felt like I wanted to let go off her and let her be with her ex husband and daughter. I know having Aiden around will make Hadley even happier then she was when I was spending time with her and her mother. Just the thought of what all of us been through. I could see that he was happy to just be here and spend time with his daughter. Sometimes I wonder if they never lost there son, if she never came to L.A. will I have ever met her, would I have stayed on at Davies and Associates and not follow my singing career, there is these what ifs, and all these things swirling in my mind, but in all truth I am happy of the out come. I know is bad of me to think it's a good thing she lost her baby, or even coming here.

She makes my life so worth living, she makes me feel loved, which I never felt before. Just spending time with her and Hadley was great. I will never let them go, even if Aiden were a tread, I wouldn't give up without a fight. Seeing her beautiful ocean blue eyes, those eyes that make me feel safe.

Tonight I am going to show her how much I love her, and its something she will never forget for all the years to come, even though we have been together for over a few months now and a month of which I travelled and toured around Australia. I am making her mine for the rest of my life. If she will have me. but I know deep down in my heart that she is IT for me and that I realised the day she walked into my life, before Kyla left she asked me if I am sure this is what I want, that if Spencer is the ONE, I told her sometimes I wonder if I am even good enough for her, cause she is so amazing and I just want to protect her with everything I've got. I will give up the world to be with her, I lost her once and I am not losing her this time around. All she could say was, then sis I wish you all the luck in the world.

I have been extremely busy setting up everything for the big night; I can't wait to see her face when she sees the surprise I have for her. I can't believe I am doing this, that ASHLEY DAVIES is finally grown up enough to accept the fact that a certain blue eyed blonde holds the key to my heart, and for the first time in my life I don't even care if she never gives it back. I wanted this for so long, maybe it's too soon, maybe so but life is too short, things can happen and I might loose her again, but I know that's not even possible.

Call me crazy, call me insane, call me whatever, but what I know is this, I am so in love with this woman that I don't mind you calling me that.

How can I explain the magic of that moment where I look into her eyes and see her soul? We were meant for each other and I know it. Our souls bond in that tiny moment in time and will forever be until the end of time.

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The time has finally arrived for Spencer to show up, I was going to fetch her and make it even more special but I had called our limo driver and he went to pick up my queen. I also had a dress delivered to her house, I don't know maybe I am going all out to make this night even more special then it were suppose to be but I want everything to be perfect, she deserves it.

I was still up in my bedroom looking at myself in a black strapless cocktail dress; it comes up to my knee, as I have put on my gather and stockings. I applied my make up and given myself a once over look. I wish Ky was here now, I am all nervous for going through with this. I hope she loves everything. Not too long I heard the doorbell rang.

I walked out the room and closed it behind me; don't want to ruin the surprise that will wait for her here.

I walked to the door but first checking if everything is in place. I smile to myself and finally open the door. As I opened it up I only saw the back of her dress, her hair was swept up leaving loose strand down her face. She turns around and just by looking into those ocean blue eyes weakens my knees, she's breath taking. A goddess out of an old time movie.

She had on a blood shot red dress that barely covers her ass; I can see that she fiddles with the hem of the dress pulling it down.

Okay Ash get back to details before your eyes pop out of your head, I cant help admire her she's just to beautiful, how many times have I said that. Stop talking to yourself, seriously now.

Okay dress, yeah, she had on……before I could describe she called my name.

"Ashley! Ashley! Jeez a person would think you never saw me in a dress before." She smack with her bag on the arm. Ouch I rub my arm, walking closer to her in my doorway, pulling her closer.

"Well you make that dress looking so fucking hot Blondie, come here and give me some love." She had to laugh at the pet names I choose for her. I pull her even closer then she already were, our bodies were so close I could feel her own heart beat even faster then mine. I look her in the eyes and give her a soft smile before I move closer, as I capture her lips with mine, I kiss her harder as my tongue went through her lips so hungry that I couldn't let go of her. My fingers move up the neck as her arms swings around my waist holding me tight. As both of us are so deep into the kiss not hearing the person behind her clearing their throat. I didn't want to pull away, when we finally did and saw the limo driver standing there looking down. What is he doing here, both me and Spencer laugh at his redden cheeks.

"Sorry mam but you forgot this in the limo." She reached out and grabbed her purse then kissing me once more before she walked in the apartment.

"Thank you." I tell him. He apologised one more time before leaving and I closed the door behind me, starring at her as she stand there smiling with her gorgeous face. Gosh? Am I lucky or what.


	36. Chapter 36

**AN: there's apart of this chapter I cant take fully credit for, thank you Meka for helping me get this chapter the way it was meant to be. I hope you guys going to enjoy this one.**

**Chapter 35****:**

**Ashley's POV**

I walked closer and stood right in front of her, as she takes my hands into hers bringing it up to her lips.

"I am so glad you forgave me for the whole Aiden thing." She says. As she kiss each of my fingertips. Just the feeling of her lips on my skin makes me shiver.

"Well I know anyone else would've been feeling threatened by there current girlfriends ex husband but I do trust you and I know who you love." I tell her. Seeing her smile makes me feel all warm inside. I trust her with my heart with my life. I am starting to become like that sappy love dramas you see people write about and make movies about but I don't care if my reputation as a bad ass gets taken away from becoming a softy cause if you had this woman in your life you will turn too.

"What you thinking?" she ask me as I lead her to the dining area.

"I am thinking that you my dear are the hottest mom." I tell her while winking. She just laughs at me because I am being all cheesy and dorky right now.

"Seriously what have you done to my girlfriend did you lock her up somewhere, cause nowhere is she this cheesy." She says. As I take her hand and kiss the inside of it.

"Spencer Carlin, for you I will be cheesy anytime, this is what you do to me, so if you want to complain blame yourself." I say. We finally walked into the dining room, in the corner of the room sit a small table decorated for two with candles, flowers her favourite orchids. The music played softly in the background as I could feel her hands loosing in my grip I turn around and was captured with her lips. I can definitely live of this for the rest of my life.

"Ash." She says my name so softly.

"Spence." I tease her back.

"This is wow?" she says. I walked closer to the table as I pull a chair out for her.

"Well are you going to stand there are come have dinner with me." I ask. She finally moves and sat in the chair I pulled out for her. I definitely need a medal for my mannerism most times I would never be the gentlewomen and get things for them but with her its all different I am not pretending to someone I am not it comes natural with her. I want to be the kind of person she would be proud of, the type a person who will make her the centre of my world.  
"Aren't you already?" I hear her speak from my thoughts.

"What's that Spence?" I ask her confused, what she's talking about.

"You already made me your centre." She laughs and my face turned red, can she honestly hear my thoughts. I know we had that thing but I always thought it was just me.

"You can be who you are Ash; I love you no matter who you are. It's your heart that makes you so easy to fall in love with." She says. As I went to go sit down. As she leans over taking my hand stroking it with her thumbs, as she was scanning my features like taking it all in drawing a mental picture since the last time she did it. I see the waiter coming from the kitchen. Yeah I hired some people to make this night go as awesome as possible. She looks at me with a knowing look as the kind waiter pour us both some white wine. Just seeing her like this makes me feel happy.

"Spence you wont believe how much I hated the fact I was in Australia and you were hear alone, well not alone but I wish you could've gone with me, and Hadley off course." She had to smile.

"Ash its okay I missed you too, but I am glad you home now. I went out my mind not knowing if I will survive a month without your kisses, touches and nose crinkle."

"Aw, what do you say from now on I only tour the states and not for longer periods." I tell her taking a sip of my wine.

"Ash, you don't have to do this for me, it's your life to tour and plus what about your fans all around the world. I am just glad that our relationship is being kept under the radar." She says. I know that if the story leaks out of us dating it will most certainly be the next big thing but Spencer's mother and grandparents don't know about her being gay. I think her mother knows but she just doesn't want to accept the fact. And I have never met the Carlins are even spoke to them. I know she misses her life there.

"I know but I want too."

"I am not even out to my own family; I mean why it matters to people who I love."

"And who I am in love with." I reply.

"Well lets stop over thinking about things we cant control and focus on tonight cause I have a feeling there is more to come." She says smiling as I throw her a sly smile back. You won't believe how much I have in store my love.

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**Spencer's POV**

Just sitting here with her having a romantic dinner is great. Everything I have ever dreamt of, I never thought it would be this amazing. The night seems to go by slowly as each time she would feed me some of her chicken slovaki. I had a Greek salad.

"This taste nice, I have never had chicken slovaki before, do you normally dine and wine your girlfriends." I ask her.

"You mean you. Yes from now on." She says laughing.

"Ash, I love you." I say.

"I love you too Spence more than you will ever know." She replies back.

The waiter came out to take our empty plates to the kitchen as he pours us some more wine.

The night went well, until I see she gets up from her chair and walks over to the CD player. She pressed play and our song was playing Timeless.

She came over walking smiling that sexy smile as she takes my hand.

"May I have this dance Miss Carllin." She asks. I get up.

"Yes you may my love." I was finally in her arms, as both her hands slide around my waist mine on her shoulders as my head lay on her shoulders taking it all in. the smell of her perfume, the smell of her skin, the smell of her hair. The taste of her skin. I press a kiss to her bare shoulder.

"You know I would think the minute you saw me in this dress you will rip it off, I am kind of surprise you've been behaving." I tell her as I pull my head of her shoulder starring into her golden brown orbs.

"Well that would just ruin everything I have planned for you." she says. Pulling me even closer as she captures my lips never leaving it. It feels so good this is where I want to be for the rest of my life. Gosh? She's insationable.

"I know me too." I hear say into my mouth, as she pull away looking at me.

"Is it weird that you have the ability to read my mind, what if one day I am thinking I want sex with someone that's not you." before I know it she pulls completely away from me.

"What did you just say, so you thinking if cheating on me now." She says, with a grin on her face knowing that will never happen.

I pull her back towards me.

"No I meant that hypothetically, it amazes me how jealous one can be."

"Are you hinting on something, I am not jealous, protective maybe over what's rightfully mined? If I recall not to long ago you felt a tad bit jealous of Blake." She says.

"Now that's just insane." I tell her. The music stopped and I see the waiter came from the kitchen standing still right where his been standing.

"Miss Davies." He calls at Ashley. She turn around and walked with him to the kitchen, I heard two other voices but it could be the cook and who knows she probably hired someone to wash the dishes as well, there is so much I need to learn her all in due time. I wonder how Hadley is doing I miss my little girl so much, even though I love Ash so much there will always be apart that will care about Aiden he seems so lost. I didn't see her come in the dining area and I also didn't notice what she was up to. She stood still at the CD player with a mic in her hand.

"Ash?" I call her name. But she kept smiling.

"Spence, when I was touring Australia and one day I came across this song I think it's an Australian band, but one night I told Tommy that I want to do a cover of this song and then it hit me." she kept quiet for a moment .

"Ash?" I say yet again.

"Spence please let me get this out here." I nod my head and she carried on.

"There are so many songs in this world that could sum up a relationship, whether its heartbreak, new found love or even lost love but the day I met you I knew that our love was meant to be." She pressed play and I heard the most beautiful melody string through the speakers she abandoned her mic and start to sing, I love her voice.

_Maybe its intuition_

_But some things you just don't question_

_Like in your eyes_

_I see my future in an instant_

_And there it goes_

_I think ive found my best friend_

_I know that it might sound more than a little crazy_

_But I believe_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting all my life_

She was slowly making her way towards me as I can feel my tears are starting to form as the woman I love is singing to me, the most beautiful ballad ever written in the history of love songs. She continued.

_There's just no rhyme or reason_

_Only this sense of completion_

_And in your eyes _

_I see the missing pieces_

_I'm searching for_

_I think ive found my way home_

She was stood right in front of me, her hands entwine with mine as her own tears were falling, and I knew those were happy tears because the smile and nose crinkle tells me that she is happy. This is so romantic.

_I know that__ it might sound more than a little crazy_

_But I believe_

As she stopped singing and captures my lips the music still playing in the background.

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting all my life_

She pulls away not too far leaning her forehead against mine. As she continues to sing

_A thousand angels dance around you _

_I am complete now that I've found you_

We were standing there looking deep into each others eyes, blue locked onto golden brown that it was the most intense feeling that washed upon me. I still had no idea what tonight meant for her, maybe I do, I night to celebrate our love for each other but this, this what I am feeling for, its like the song said it self, I KNEW I LOVED HER EVEN BEFORE I MET HER.

"Ash?" I say her name. But she kept on singing the last of the chorus. She then again moved out of my arms walking towards a small table reaching for something she came back and looks at me. OMG what's happening.

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting for all my life_

The last part of the song fades as she slowly bends down on one knee. OMG.

She looks up at me reaching for my hands. I can't Gosh. What is she going to do, stop it Spence, and please stop driving yourself crazy.

"Ash?"

"Please don't interrupt me." she says all teary eyes but …

"Spence, there is something that I have been meaning to ask you. I know that I am not the easiest person to deal with, and I can be willing to bet you that in life there will be many things that we will disagree on. All I can tell you is that I will try my hardest and do everything in my power to make you happy. That when I am not with you, I feel incomplete. Like there was this void in my life that only you and that unbelievable cute little blonde at home could seem to fill. I know that it isn't going to be easy to come into a home that has been functioning great on their own. I guess what I am trying to say Spence is that I would like nothing more than to be apart of that life. To show you and Hadley how much love I have to offer you. To be there for her, and show her that my life without her would be nothing. I am ready to take that next step in my life. Spence...... would you marry me? Please make me the happiest person in the world."

I couldn't believe it; I was stunned I mean, what do I say do I say yes, no, someday, what? She was still on her knee and taking out the ring I could see the joy in her face that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and Hadley.

"Spence." She says my name, as I could see the joy turn into hurt cause I have yet to give her my answer.

"Ash." I finally say. I look at the big diamond ring on platinum gold with small diamonds around the band.

"Ashley. I …."

"No don't please don't do this please, don't stand there and make like …"

"I …" what the hell Spence.

I saw her stand up still with the ring in the black velvet box.

"I am such an idiot to ever believe the day I would get the nerve to propose to someone and they just stand there looking at me like I grew another head."

"Ash please. Hear me out okay. Its not that I don't want to marry you but…" I pulled at my own hair as my own frustration was getting at me.

"No. why don't you just do me a favour. Leave me alone." She yells at me. And just when she was about to walk away I grab onto her hand pulling her back.

"I am not leaving you like this Ashley. Just yeah I want to marry you. But why rush into something." I tell her.

"OMG! Spence I have been waiting for someone like you my whole life, does that song not say anything to you, well to me it does. Gosh? I love you. I love you so much that the thought of hearing you say no." she gasps as she holds her hands over her mouth as her own sobs were breaking my heart.

"I didn't say no. I said it was too soon for us to take this next step."

"Well you hesitated Spence. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that beautiful girl but maybe you right this isn't going to work when you don't trust me being there for you. did you think my life was easy, my mother walked out of me when I was ten, she left me with my dad, she took the only person I have ever loved with her, now here we are and you doing the exact same thing she did, you are leaving me behind, the fact that you think that this is insane. Maybe the day you walked out my life was the worst thing you could've done but this…." She points her finger between herself and me.

"This is even worse."

Gosh? I have to fix this if I loose her; if I walk out of that door right now I know that there isn't going to be another chance.

Why does she have to do this? The night started to great, we had conversation, we had dinner, side glances, holding hands, I love you's, dancing, she sang for me, she ask me to marry her, why am I not saying anything, why am I not walking over to her and tell her yes I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but deep down I cant say it. What's wrong with me, the love of my life is standing there crying and here I am just standing.

"Ashley can we go back and just forget about it for now." I ask her my own tears never coming to a stop. "Please Ash I don't want to loose you I don't want you to one day wake up and regret me, regret Hadley for you wanting to marry so soon. I just got out a three year marriage a few months ago, why not wait."

"Cause then it would be to late, and why bring up your marriage okay." She says.

"Okay." I repeat back.

She just stood there when I heard.

"When you left the first time it was hard getting over and remember even before we started seeing each other I told you…

_FLASHBACK__: NIGHT BEFORE SPENCER LEFT FOR OHIO_

"**Spencer, since the first day I met you, your warmth, your passion your heart all those little things you do, I remember the first time our eyes locked, the soft curve of your lips, I imagine kissing you then already.** But I know that if this is goodbye, if you want me to walk away and let you go back to Ohio, know this that I love you, I am in love with you, and I never thought that there will one day be someone so amazing and talented that will be able to tame the ASHLEY DAVIES, but that my dear you have. When you asked me a while ago if I ever wanted kids, I know I said no but if that person were you then I would want 20. Okay maybe not that much we'll never get our alone time. Please whatever you decide do what's best for you. I will love Hadley as my own, because I know how much she means to you and I…"

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Yes." I mutter out so soft. She looks at me, still lost in the memory.

"What?" she finally asks me.

"YES! YES I WILL MARRY YOU ASHLEY DAVIES!" I yelled out. I saw the expression on her face as she walks up to me lifting me up from the carpeted floor. Twirling me around. I didn't know she had this much strength.

She puts me down as she once again, when down on her knee.

"I love you so much and I promise you from this day onwards you will never ever have to question my regrets, you and Hadley are my world there's nothing to regret about that." She takes out the ring as she slides it on my ring finger, and kissed the band wants it was on my hand. I brought the ring close by, and I couldn't believe how beautiful it looked on my hand.

She finally stood up as she just holds onto me, and never let go.

"I promised that I will never let you go." She says.

"Never." I say.

"Never. Not when it feels this amazing." She says. Kissing me.

"I love you Ashley Davies." I say.

"I love you too soon to be Mrs Davies." I had to smile.

Hopefully one day Spencer Davies. I had to smile at that memory.

**AN: wow it almost went downhill for spash****ley or like they trouble in paradise**

**Reviews are more then welcome, I don't know when I will get back to update again I am moving the wknd and I will be quite busy. Meka thanks again for helping me with this, I know when I was stuck you the only one who got me to do this the way it should be.**

**Thanks all of you**

**Song: I knew I loved by Savage Garden**


	37. Chapter 37

**AN: I dedicate this chapter to a great friend of mine Dha Chaye.**

**Enjoy.**

**NC17**

**Chapter 36**

I can't believe it she said yes. The women of my dreams said yes. Gosh? For a moment I thought that this is going to be the end of us.

"Spence you don't know how much I love you, okay maybe you do." I picked her up bridal style. As I walked towards my bedroom, no way is this night over, this night is about to get even better.

"Ash, what you doing, put me down please." She held on to my neck as I just kept quiet and smiling, I finally came to stop in front of my bedroom door. I looked down at her as the twinkle of her blue eyes shines of the tears she shed earlier.

"It's a surprise." I tell her.

"You planned all of this haven't you." she asked. As I lean my head down capturing her swollen lip. I heard her moaning in my mouth as I almost let her fall.

"Spence you make me loose all control here." I say.

"Mmmmmmmmmm." She says as her lips were once again on mine. I finally reached for the door knob as I turned it open and dozens of candle lights were twinkling around my bedroom, I carried her over as I put her on her legs. She looks at me and then back at the red lacy lingerie lying on my bed displayed, with a card written on big SPENCER. She walks over to the bed and picked it without saying anything she left for the bathroom, as I got into my own lingerie; I walked to the bed opening the satin sheets as I climb in waiting on my beautiful fiancée. I think the minute I saw her standing with a pose in my bathroom doorway I died and went to heaven. Gosh? My baby is sexy.

"Baby you beautiful." I tell her she walks closer to the foot end of my bed as she gently took the straps and let it fall to the grown; my eyes went so big seeing her standing there with nothing.

"Spence, you are a beauty." I said once more. She crawls on top of me as I just stare at her, looking deep into her ocean blue eyes.

"Ash I am so in love with you. And I can't wait to be your wife." She says. As her hair fall over her face, both my hands are now running through her hair as I pull her closer to me, as I capture her lips. I could do this for the rest of my life, loving her and being with her raising our children together.

"Spence, Gosh? You are addictive." I tell her.

"Let me show you how." I tell her as she gets under the sheets with me, I didn't even dare to put anything on, and I am in bed naked.

She sits on top of me, as I run my fingers up and down her sides as she shivers. I capture her lips once again as my tongue slide through her swollen lips, the taste of the wine we drank earlier is still on her tongue as suck on it, our mouths moved in sync she grinds her hips more into me. As breast touch breast. Gosh? This feels good, so damn good I don't even want to pull away to breath. My hands slide down her bare back as I feel her squeezing my hips.

Her tongue slide to my neck as she starts to suck on my pulse point moving back up to my ear as she nibbles on it and sucking...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Gosh? Spence what are you doing to me, baby.

"Ash." I hear her call my name so soft. She lift up her head looking me deep in the eyes, I could see her eyes turned a darker blue as it's clouded with lust.

"Yea." I say. I can't even say a word because her fingers are making circles around the nub of my nipples as she pinches it, what a way to get me hornier even fast. I could feel the burning desire between my legs as I felt her wetness on my thigh. My Gosh? Woman.

"Ash, how long. I want you. I want you. Please I need you." she says as I felt her tongue on my nipple tugging at it and biting it softly.

"I want you too babe. More than you know." As I lift her head up bringing her lips close to mine, at the same time I turned her over as I am on top and she's under me gasping for air.

My hands brush through her hair, I lay myself right in between her legs as skin touch skin, breast touch breast, and our clits connected at the same time. I felt my whole body turn hot at the same time; I could feel both our hearts beating faster and faster.

This is what I call making love, lying in between her legs and feeling her heart beating faster in her chest. I never knew I will one day find the queen of hearts, the queen of my heart. I took her hand where the ring fits perfectly on her ring finger. I kissed it and lifted both her hands to the top of the bed, having her neck and chest exposed. My tongue has a mind of its own as I nibble and bite the exposing flesh right up her neck, licking all the way to her throat kissing it, moving up her mouth and capture her welcoming mouth, I smiled into the kiss because she knows I am teasing her. She' very tasty, I want to taste her whole night, every night, every morning, during the day. And every day.

"Ash please shut your thoughts down babe, it kind of ruining the mood here." I look at her as I just smile and moved down her chest kissing down her breast bone. Gosh I missed this; I missed how good this felt. Stop it Ash. I took one of her pink nipples into my mouth as my tongue ran around it, playing with it as it hardens, I did the same to the other as I felt Spencer pushing her clit nearer towards mine as she grind it lightly. I think I will come just by what she's doing right now. Her hands moves down my lower back, grabbing my ass squeezing it, I can't take this anymore.

"Ash, I …..Need…you. I. needs …you to fuck Me." she says. Wow my fiancée once it rough. I took my hand and slide it between us knowing that she's going to love what's coming next. It's been too long.

"Ash." She says once more when my finger slide through her wet folds. Gosh. I took my finger as I bring it up towards me, licking it. She watches me and just shakes her head I can see that she's going to complain because I am teasing her. I smile back as I kiss her my tongue play around in her mouth as I tickle the bottom of her cavern; I know she's very ticklish, I discovered every part of her.

"Spence." I gasp as she tried to push my hand down between us, she guided at the spot she wanted me, both our hand touched her clit as my thumb stroked the harden clit.

"ASHLEY DAVIES!!!!!!!" she yelled as my finger entered her the exact time. I pushed in and out with her hand rubbing against her pussy.

"More! I need more!" she says. I entered two more as I could feel her muscles around my fingers, sinking deeper. This is what I call drive her up the wall as I see Spencer throws her head over and grabbing to the sheets. I moved faster. Pumping in and out, I could feel my own orgasm coming and it's not supposed to come now.

"OH…FUCK…SPEN!" I couldn't even yell her name because she entered me with two fingers pushing faster and harder into me as we both succumb to the bliss we were in.

"ASHLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!....." I could feel her muscles coming tighter and tighter knowing she is close, we both were at the same climax.

"COME FOR ME!!!...she shouts at me as I could feel my orgasm coming, not long I felt it, her coming all over my hand and my thighs and I came all over her hand. We were riding each other out until we both came down from our climax I could feel her shaking as she's still busy to come down. I dropped my body on top of her. Both our bodies had a sheer of sweat and glistened in the early morning. I can't believe that was the best sex I had in a very long time.

I kissed her lips as went to go lay next to her. She was cuddled in my arms, with her one leg in between mine and her arm around my waist. My hand was still stroking her bare back lightly. When I heard.

"I love you. My fiancée.' She says.

"Love you to babe.' And we fell asleep.

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**Spencer's POV**

I woke up turning my face to see the beautiful women lying next to me, how lucky did I get to have found her, the fact that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, is just amazing. My hand that splayed over her chest, was the hand my engagement ring was on, wow it's even beautiful now that it's lying on top of the person who gave it to me. Then it click should I get her a ring as well. I mean, should we both be wearing one. I was still in discussion with myself when I heard her say.

"Will you stop already? I bought one already." She says. When looked over to her, her eyes were close, but a smile was tug at the corners of her mouth.

"You took care of everything didn't you." I ask. I lean over to kiss her.

"Good morning babe." She says.

"Morning to you too." When I felt her knee touch me between the legs.

"Is someone up for round three already." Last night was amazing, we didn't even get to the whip cream and strawberries food was the last thing on my mind.

The food that I craved was my new fiancée's body. I chuckle at my own thoughts, when I saw her eyes finally opened.

"What so funny." She asks me.

"Nothing." I say as I snuggle into her.

"This feels so great." She says. Interlacing our fingers as she brings it up to her mouth kissing my knuckles.

"Tell me about it. I wish we could just lay here whole day." I tell her.

"Why not. We can stay in and make use of me having the place to myself for a few days." She says.

"You know I can't. I miss her to much Ash. I love you but I miss her so much. I told myself after the last time I never want to be away from her too long. I mean it's the next day we didn't even call her and say goodnight." I look at Ash I see the change in her face. Just when I was about to ask her what's wrong my cell phone rang. It was ringing but I didn't know where my purse was. I saw it lying on top of Ashley's dresser. I got up and walked over to grab my purse opening it when I saw my home number popping up on the screen. I flipped it open and answered.

"Hello." I say.

"MOMMY!" I hear her voice as I can tell she was crying. As I was holding the phone between my shoulder and neck I looked at Ash. Just laying there.

"Ash can get some clothes." I ask her as she nods.

"Mommmmyyy." I hear my girl calling again. As I was busy grabbing some clothes from Ash's massive closet.

"Yes baby. What's wrong." I finally say.

"Where are you? I woke up and you weren't here. Daddy said you were coming home, but you never did." She says. As I could hear she's about to cry.

"Baby mommy is now there. Tell daddy I am on my way okay. We'll spend the whole day together."

"Okay mommy. See you now now."

"I love you."

"Love you too mommy. Say hi to Ashley." She says. As I hear Aiden in the back ground comforting the girl. I looked up as Ashley gets up and went to go get dress.

She didn't say anything as she passes me. Grabbing her keys and walks out. Gosh? This is not how I want this day to go.

I got dressed and walk out of the room as I see her making some coffee in the kitchen her back turn to me. On the kitchen counter was a gift bag. Must be the gift that she bought Hadley. She passed me a mug as I blow the hot coffee, sipping slowly.

"That's Hadley's gift don't forget to take it with you." she says. As she wants again walk out putting the keys in her jeans pocket.

"Thanks." I call after her.

I didn't finish the coffee I poured it out in the sink rinsing it. I took the gift and walked out the door she was waiting for me at the elevator. In the elevator she still didn't say anything.

We got in the car and still nothing. I can't take this silence from her.

"Ashley for crying out loud stop being like this." I tell her as I grab her free hand and she pulls it out my grasp.

"Are you fucking with my head here? You ask me to marry you. I said yes. We spend an amazing night together but yet you ignoring me."

"I am not ignoring you, I just don't feel like talking." She says. As she blows her hair out her face.

"But you pissed. Cause you do that whenever you are." I say. She turns her face as she looks at me. We finally drove into my drive way. As she switches the car off.

"I am not. I will see you later." She says. As I lean over to kiss her. A kiss that wasn't even a kiss. I pull away as I take the bag and walked up to my front door. I turn around seeing the tears in her eyes. As she finally drove out my drive way. I can't believe this. We suppose to be happy. We suppose to make plans. But here I am standing on my front door alone and my fiancée is crying. Why is love so complicated?

I finally turn the door knob as I walk into my house nobody seems to be in the lounge as I walked straight to my room leaving the gift in the lounge.

As I cried myself to sleep.

**AN: I know took me long enough but I am finally moved in. I am enjoying the new place. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I don't think Ash knew what she got herself into. Hopefully these two will get there act together. I want them to be happy.**

**Reviews are welcome.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 37**

**Spencer's POV**

I think that I was out for a few hours when I got up I could hear Hadley going on and shouting, while Aiden try to get the girl to quiet down. I stood up from the bed as I stare at myself in the mirror. I look like the death, puffy eyes and my mascara smeared under my eyes. I looked at my hand as the ring was sparkling. I walked to my bathroom and tapped the bath full.

I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door knowing who it is.

"You may come in sweetheart." I call out as I sat in the bath. In came a smiling little blue eyed blonde girl. She closed the door behind her as she went to sit on the counter. What a big girl. She just looks at me still smiling.

"Mommy, did you see what Ashley bought Me." she ask me. Before I could answer she told me.

"She bought me a sidekick and alotta SpongeBob Square pants movies. I can't wait to thank her." she says. As she jumps off the counter. And come to run her fingers through my wet hair.

"Mommy are you sad. Did I do something to make you cry." I close my eyes as I can feel her blue eyes burning on my face. This girl can really make you cry with her cuteness. How can Ashley be so insensitive, I mean what did she expect I am a mother and my daughter comes first if she cant accept that then I don't think I will be wearing this ring much longer.

"I am fine baby. Just really tired." I tell her as she goes back to sit.

I can tell that she's got more questions running through that head of hers.

"Um." Told you.

"Yes." I tell her.

"Mommy, do you think daddy will ever be happy." She asks me. I knew that she's going to notice soon enough.

"I hope so honey." I tell her.

"I wish things were different." She says. Then kept quiet. I knew what she means. Sometimes I think it would be much easier with Aiden, but with Ashley, she's all I ever think about. What she's doing, where she is. Is she thinking of me, like I think about her. Last night she asked me to marry me, and I said yes, she asks to spend the rest of her life loving me and Hadley. But then there is Aiden who I will always care about, but for me to ever be completely happy I need him to find someone.

"Tomorrow is your big day sweaty. You excited." I ask her.

"Yes very much. I wish Avery were here, when they coming Mommy. I want to go with daddy to go visit them." She says. I didn't know what to say about that. I mean yes I did say she can go with Aiden back home for a week.

"Mommy please I want to go see Kaylin and all my other friends." She says.

"I have to think about it okay honey." I tell her. She jumps one more time from the counter as she comes over hugging me and kisses me on the cheek.

"I Love you mommy." And she walks out. My baby is growing up very fast. I got out the bath and towel dried myself and my hair. I walked into my bedroom and got dressed in a pair of jeans a shirt, with my flip flops. I really don't feel like wearing make up or anything. I walked out to see Aiden and Hadley watching cartoons. What am I going to do with these two? I walked closer to them as I see Aiden turn around to face me. He knows me to well because that look is asking if I am okay, if I want to talk about it, and I am giving him the I don't want to talk about it right now. Cause if I should I will just burst into tears once more again.

And I had cried enough. I walked into the kitchen getting some coffee. I pour some and went to go sit on a chair at the kitchen counter. Should I call her, or should I just leave it for now. It wasn't to long when I got a call from Dave telling me he wants to see me in his office.

I told Aiden I have a meeting and told Hadley that the three of us will go out for supper, she was so happy to hear that. It will feel like old times when we use to go out every Thursdays.

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**Aiden's POV**

After Spencer left me and Hadley went back to watching cartoons, this girl can watch cartoons like whole day, I know Spencer things that I am the main reason she watch such a lot of cartoons, but I just want to do something to make my girl happy. I know that she went into the room when Spencer was asleep because when she went in she was so happy about her gifts, when she came out she wasn't the smiling girl she's been whole day. They must've had a mother daughter chat, and I won't ask. Unless she opens up to me. I could feel her eyes scanning me. I looked at her and she smiles.

"Yes Hadley." I ask her. Knowing she wants to ask me something. She looks me, as she tries to bring herself to ask me.

"Daddy." She says.

"Yes baby." I ask again.

"Do you think mommy is sad." She asks me. I could see that there is something bothering Spencer but I didn't want to ask knowing she'll just keep it to herself as always. There could only be one person I know who's got something to do with her pain. Ashley Davies.

"I don't know baby. But don't make her sadder with all your shouting you've been doing." She looks at me and pouts with the arms folded.

"I am not." She says. I had to laugh because when she does that she looks more and more like her mother. I can't believe I will never have the chance to see her grow up in a beautiful princess. If only. I know I need to move on, I mean Spencer thought I didn't see the ring. Must be why she's feeling so down. What if Ashley messed up the one thing that's good in her life?

I heard a knock on the door as I got up, and what you know the same brunette that stood on my door step a few months ago are standing once again in front of me, just as lost and hurt as she were that day. I could see that she was crying must be why Spencer was crying as well.

"Hey." She says as I open the door wider for her to come in, but she stood still.

"Are you okay." I ask her. She nods yes. But I knew she wasn't I looked inside to see Hadley attentively watching television as I close the door but not all the way. I was stood on the porch with the women who stole my family from me, as she buried her head in my chest.

I knew something was wrong and I won't ask until she tells me. She finally pulls away as she wipes the tears with her jackets sleeve, she is so beautiful. I am surrounded by two beautiful women but they don't want me, how insane Aiden, can't believe my luck even Madison don't want me anymore, she told me that I waited my time with Spencer and now it's to late. She's seeing my ass of an ex brother in law.

"I don't know what I am doing her, crying in your arms." she says to me.

"Its okay, I cried in yours too remember." I tell her. She looks at me with hurt in her eyes.

"I am sorry." She says.

"For what?" I ask her.

"For what you've lost. I don't know what I will do if I loose them. You should know I will never hurt Hadley, I love her just like she's my own." She tells me.

"I know Ashley, but I am not the one you should ask forgiveness." I tell her. She stares at me.

"She told you." she asks me.

"No but I know Spencer and remember what I told you about her heart I gave you my blessing just don't make me regret it." I tell her. As I went to go sit down on the steps hearing my little girl laughing. I turned around towards the slightly open door.

"That's all I got left of my relationship with Spencer, and I would be very angry if you going to course that girl in there pain. She already asked me today, is her mommy sad." I tell her. As I look her straight in the eyes.

"Go fix it, whatever you have to do. Fix it before she close herself off once again." I stood up and left the broken girl on the porch as I heard her foot steps walking down the steps and in her car and off she goes.

I walked back in and went to go sit with Hadley until her mother comes home.

**AN: what do you guys think. I really love Aiden; he makes me smile with his caring ability to talk to Ashley without blaming her. I know most of you didn't like what Ashley did. I do apologise for her behaviour it's my fault though I wasn't in the right mood to write that part. But she will fix it. it also makes for good drama. And you all know how much I love that.**


	39. Chapter 39

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews guys, you all are amazing. I am feeling happy so you get two chapters. Someone special to my heart has given me the inspiration to write. I want to try and update more often. **

**Hopefully I will. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 38**

**Ashley's POV**

I can't believe I cried in Aiden's arms I mean it shouldn't have been him comforting me right, he should've yelled at me but instead he let me cry and tell me to go fix it. If I was straight I would fall for him in a heartbeat. No wonder Spencer still love him, I know she does. No matter how hard she tries to make me feel that I am the only one in her heart, she still keeps apart of her for him. But I know she loves me, I mean she said yes right. Then why did I act like that why did I have to treat her like that.

All she wanted was to be with her daughter my soon to be step daughter and I acted selfish. Apart me don't want to share her, I want her all to myself.

I tried calling her cell phone and brought memories back to the day I met Hadley for the very first time, and I promised her then that I won't do it again but yet I did. Finally heard her voice over the phone.

"Hello." I heard her say.

"Spence, it's me Ashley."

"Yea. What do you want, I am busy." She says.

"Well can we talk at least?"

"No, I will call you when I am done here. And tonight I am having dinner with my daughter and Aiden." She says. Just by what she said my heart broke.

"Okay. What about after." I ask.

"I don't know Ash. Don't blame me for this cause I wasn't the one who treated you like crap was I. you were the one who treated me wrongly. Give me a day. I will call you I promise. I may be upset but I love you." she says. Before I could even say it back she put the phone off.

I guess I deserve that. Just hurts when your fiancée don't even give you a chance to explain yourself. I drove around until I drove into my drive way. I didn't know that I will expect any visitors but I saw Blake and Jordan at the front entry, the small blonde saw me as she jumps out her mother's arms and ran to me. She finally came to a stop as I pick her up.

"Aunty Ashwey." She says. As she throws both her arms around my neck. She lifts her head from my shoulder as she wipes the unshed tears from my eyes. And kiss me on my cheek. She such a sweet girl. I walk up to Blake as she just stares at me and follow me in the building , we finally went in the apartment when I put Jordan down as she runs over to where her toys were stacked up. Whenever she used to come over Kyla and I decided to create a corner just for her. I walked into the kitchen after I hear Blake telling Jordan she will be right out with some juice. The girl thanks her mommy.

"Ash I am worried about you. This is the third time I have seen you like this, what happened between you and Spencer." She asks me. Even though Blake would always make small talk about Spence they still don't get along. I think the one feels threatened by the other.

"Nothing really." I tell her.

"Are you lying?" she gave that don't even dare to lie look.

"I ask her to marry me." I tell her. She almost fell over her own feet.

"Are you being serious with me." she asks.

"Yes. She's the one."

"Now where is she now? OMG did she say no to your proposal if she did then she's an idiot.' She tells me.

"Hey don't go call my fiancée and idiot. She's smart."

"Okay now why the long crock tears, if she said yes." I didn't know how to tell her.

"We had a misunderstanding. Hadley called and I didn't want her to leave. I dropped her off and I didn't bother calling her back. But before she got out the car she kissed me and I didn't kiss her back." Before I know it I was smacked right through the face. I look at her as I can see the pissed look in her green eyes.

"What was that for?"

"You being a fuck up. That's what it's for. I can't believe you Ashley since when is it all about you. if you knew that you wanted her all to yourself not thinking about the child why ask her to marry you, scared she'll run off with her ex." She shouldn't have said that because I am now fuming.

"Blake shut your mouth you don't know what you talking about."

"Don't I. right poor Ashley didn't get what she wants again, and fuck the rest. You will never change right. You will never be perfect for her. You just a selfish drama queen rock star." And with that she walked out of the kitchen I still heard Jordan wanting to say goodbye, but Blake just didn't let the girl get her way.

Maybe she's right though I am a fuck up. My parents really screwed me with life, now the only person that I will ever love doesn't want me near her, not even my oldest best friend wants me.

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It was several hours later when I heard someone coming in I was still sitting at the kitchen counter when I lift my head and see my sister standing there.

"So, where is my sister in law and that cutie of hers." I totally forgot Kyla was coming back today.

"Well she's having dinner with Hadley and Aiden." A spark in her eyes when I said his name I doubt Kyla ever met him.

"What? Did you ask her though, did she say yes." She asks me. Bouncing like a small child and then I think Hadley is bouncy, Kyla take first place.

"Yes." I said so soft.

"Then why you here. Go see your fiancée." I got up as I walk into the lounge. She follows me like a puppy.

"I can't." I tell her. As I went to go sit on the couch curling up. My feet tuck under me.

"Why not. What happened Ashley?" She asks, and came to sit next to me.

I turned to face her, when my own tears betray me.

"I messed up. I messed up big time Kyla." I tell her. She didn't move close to hold me; I could see the frown on her face.

"What you do now again." She asks me.

"It's stupid. I was being stupid."

"What Ashley. If you did something so help me I …" I stopped her.

"I didn't want her going home. I wanted her all to myself when Hadley called crying missing her mommy. And I wanted her just as much. I thought if we stay in bed everything else can wait." I tell her. She wasn't to impress with me.

"I can't believe you. Did you not learn? Have you not realised she's a mother or are you that self absorbed." She asks me.

"I am not self absorbed just needy."

"OMG? Do you hear yourself? This." She points to me.

"Is not the Ashley I know? What have you done with her." she stood up as she grabs her luggage. Just before she gets to her room she turns around.

"You need to make some changes Ash. Or you will loose her. This time it might be forever. And it will all be your fault. Nobody but yours." And with that she turns around and walks into her room. Leaving me to sit there and think about what I should do. Buying her gifts won't help; I mean she's got everything already.

Maybe I should just go to bed and wait on her call.

That's all I can do. The love of my life is off with her precious family and I am all alone left with my own demons.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 39**

**Spencer's POV**

"_In life you never really know who you'll end up with. I believe that love is not a decision neither a choice. You don't seek out someone and decide that you love that person. You also can't choose love either because love just happens. It's magical; you can't really explain it all. I'm still confused. What does it mean, where does it come from. It comes from deep within your soul._

_Love is when someone makes you smile,_

_Love is when you take away the feeling_

_The passion and the romance in a relationship, and find out that you still care for that person._

_A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and just have to let it go._

_But sometimes it's hard to just give up."_

I couldn't any further, this whole story seems to be going down hill. I can't end this night without hearing her voice, I can't end this night not knowing we going to be okay. I can't end this night without giving her a chance to explain what's bothering her. Is she afraid of being tied down to one woman for the rest of her life? Building a family with me and Hadley. Is me having a child to much for her. Gosh? Why is life so hard? Why is love so complicated? I fell so hard for her, she swept me off my feet and yet here I am sitting writing sappy love stories and the one person, my muse in all my work is out there heartbroken. I am not the course of it. Apart of me feels like since Aiden has been here we have been fighting a lot, even though we make up. But deep down I know she feels threatened by him somehow. Maybe it's my fault. Tonight I spend with my daughter and ex husband while my fiancée is out there in pain. Suck it Spence, fix this before you will loose the only thing you have ever love this much. I pushed my computer chair out as I grab a jacket. I was only dress in my track pants and tank top. I went into Hadley's room kissing her on the forehead as I tell her softly I will be back.

I left a note on the fridge for Aiden in case he'll be wondering where I am going. I took the car keys with the spare key she gave me quite sometime ago. I need to get to her. I could feel my blood rushing through my whole body as I instantly felt nervous of seeing her. A day ago she asked me to marry her. I look down to my hand as I turn the steering wheel in the direction of her place. I can't believe I am getting married, I haven't even told Chelsea, and my head has been so much ever since our fight yesterday morning. I can't believe how much my life is about to change or going to change. I finally turn the car off as I am sat in the car hesitating to get out and walk the path that leads to her loft.

I took a few breaths in as I finally unbuckle the seatbelt and got out the car. I stood still in front the door. As I take out the key and turn the door knob. I walked in and the whole place was dark. I wonder if Kyla is home. I close the door behind me as I moved closer and the lounge was clear. I could see that the light from the kitchen was on, but didn't hear any movement. I walked right up to her bedroom as I softly open it. The door was open as I try to slide through the narrow part. I was finally in as I again close the door.

I walked closer to her bed, just staring at her sprawled out over the whole bed. She turned herself over as there was a small space left next to her. I took my shoes of as I open the covers and got in next to her. She's so beautiful and peaceful when she's asleep. I think I am a creep, starring at her sleeping form. I didn't want to wake her up, I just want to lie beside her and cuddle in her arms. That's exactly what I did. I moved closer to her as I felt her warm breath on my neck. As she herself moves even closer to me, bringing me nearer to her in the middle of her king size bed. I turn my head so that I could see her face. I love this woman so much. The thought of us breaking will leave me to pieces and I don't know that I will ever be able to piece it back together. She puts a light on my face; I smile from corner to corner. Before her my life was miserable. Loosing my son and my marriage falling apart. The only person who brought me back to life is this woman whose arms I am lying in.

I could see her smile on her face. Knowing I am next her is all that matters. It's where I want to be for the rest of my life. Just when I was about to close my eyes, I head her sexy voice. Whenever I hear her voice is like I get turned on by just the sound of her raspy voice and giggling that melts my heart. In all truth I never knew Ashley Davies the Rock star will ever giggle. She told me once it's what I bring out of her.

"Spence baby." She says.

"Yes Ash." I say back.

"What you doing in my bed." I lift myself from her arms as I hover over her.

She didn't open her eyes as I lean down towards her succulent lips and bit the bottom lip. I could hear a moan escape from her mouth.

"Are you real." She asks me. As I laugh softly.

"Off course. Would the real me be able to do this." I moved my hand down towards her thigh. As I slide my hand inside her boy shorts. I looked at her chest heaving up and down. Her eyes shut close as my finger slide through her wet folds.

"I guess that I am that good." I tell her.

"Gosh? Spence. Now that is what the real Spencer does to me." I removed my hands from out her boy shorts as she pulled me on top of her. I lay my head on her chest.

"Ash. I am sorry." I tell her.

"I am the one who should be sorry. Gosh? I love you so much and the thought of you leaving me will break my heart. Hadley comes first I know that. I should learn to understand that a mother's first priority is her child. I never had that. My mother could've cared less about me." I knew that Ashley had a hard time growing up. There mother treated her different than she did Kyla. Maybe cause she's been gay. The fact that her mother found her with Blake at one time. Yes I know all these things. She opened up to me about everything.

"I know Ash. Maybe I should also try to make you my priority where Aiden is concern. But know this his just my friend, yea I loved him at one stage but I didn't love him for very long time. Right now the only bond we have is Hadley. And you should learn to understand that I don't want you to feel like I don't care about your feelings. I mean we going to get married. That reminds me we need to talk with Hadley about this." I looked into her eyes.

"Yeah. We should and thank you Spence, for making me feel loved." She says.

"Now can we sleep? I am really tired. I have been up whole night trying to finish some chapters but all I could think about is you. And I wanted to fix this." I tell her. As roll off her and lay next to her. My arm around her waist and her hand drawing circles on my lower back.

"I love you Spencer. I always will." She says. Kissing the top of my head.

"I love you too, more than you'll ever know." And with that I fell asleep in the love of my life's arms.

**AN: I hope you all loved this chapter, because I enjoyed writing it. I think lately I have been all love . Which is a good feeling to have? **

**Let's just say I found my inspiration and my muse all in one package. I will treasure it for the rest of my life.**

**Reviews are always welcome.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 40**

**Ashley's POV**

I woke up with her still lying in my arms. I looked over to the alarm clock standing on my night stand. It was 06:00 am. I knew she will want me to wake her. I softly lift myself up as I leaned down kissing her fore head. She moved a little but not budging to wake up. I nudge her again and she slightly turns as her leg pushed into my centre. OMG? Are you trying to kill me here babe.

"Ash." I heard her say. As I look down biting on my lip. Don't moan. Don't even dare. I tell myself. As she moves even deeper into my centre with her knee. Does she know what she's doing is she actually trying to kill me here. Without knowing it.

"Ash?" I hear her call me again.

"What?" I ask her out of breath. I saw the smile tugged at her lips. Now I know she's doing it on purpose, driving me insane.

"I am awake. What are you doing, why you breathing so hard babe.' She asks me. Like she doesn't know how turned on I am right now. If it wasn't time for her to leave I would have had my way with her right here, right now. Not even caring that my sister is down the hall.

"You are the reason I am breathing. Don't act like you don't know." I tell her as I pull her up closer to me. She came to lie completely on top of me. As both her legs fall in between my legs. I captured her lips as I felt her slip her tongue right through my lips. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Now this is what I like. She bit on my tongue and a moan escaped my mouth as both my hands slip underneath her tank top, massaging the delicate soft skin. Just the feel of her lying on top of me feel like a dream come true. I can't wait to marry her. Without realising she has stopped kissing me and is starring at me.

"Ash. You were thinking." She tells me.

"I was thinking about you baby. You on my mind all day, everyday. I can't sleep at night without knowing you aren't next to me. Last night was great because you were there next to me. I love you so much Spence." I tell her. She went back to kissing my neck. The more I get into this the harder it is to resist. But I know she should go before the small blue eyed blonde misses her mommy.

"Spence. I know I can't resist you but you should go. Hadley will wake up and see you gone.' I tell her. Our lips a few centres away from each other. It's hard to resist her. She layed her fore head on mine. Still starring at my lips.

"I know what you thinking." She tells me. And with that she got off of me and rolls over as she got out of bed. I wanted to get up, but she stopped me.

"I want to go with you." I tell her.

"You sure." She asks me.

"I am sure. I want to have breakfast with my girls." I tell her. I was leaning on both my elbows as she came closer and kissed me once more before she got up.

"Get up then I will wait in my car for you." she says. And out the door she walked as I drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I took the quickest shower in record time. I got dressed and left Kyla a note on the kitchen counter.

She was sat in the passenger seat of her car. She knows how much I hate to be driven. I like being the one sitting behind the driver's seat.

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The drive from my place to Spencer's were driven in silence, soft music was blaring through her stereo while she hold my hand on the gearbox. Every time I would bring it up to my lips and kiss her hand and send her a side glance smile. This is what I want my life to be like. Holding her hands while we driving. I know there is still a lot we should talk about. But for now I just want to enjoy spending time with her and Hadley. I love that little like she was my own. I know this whole thing with Aiden being her father and I being her soon to be stepmom will have a lot of complications but I want us all to sit down and talk about this. I will always consider the fact that his father and there is nothing I can do about that fact.

"Ashley, where your head at." I hear her ask me. I turn to face her. As I just smile at her.

"My head. You so don't want to know." I tell her with a big grin.

"You have a dirty mind you know that. I should be afraid right." I look at her confuse.

"Of what?" I ask.

"You being in Hadley's life, when she gets to become a teenager." She says. As I just smile.

"There my dear you won't worry. We'll have her tie up in her room until she's thirty." I tell her with a serious tone. I can't believe I am going to be a mother one day. I am going to be responsible for another human beings life.

"Do you want kids? I mean not now obviously." I look her.

"Off course we should just make sure they more like you then me. I am warning you now. My off spring will be raging hormonal." She laughed at me. Hearing her voice is what brings me comfort.

"Ashley you should stop over thinking so much, you will grow grey hair, with all the thinking you've been doing in the last hour." She says.

Not too long we drove into her driveway. I switch the car off as I take out the key. Her door was already open to get out, but I was still sat in the driver's seat. I stare out the window towards her house.

"Ash. If you cant do it now. Maybe we should hold on telling them, I mean Aiden is here now. So we might as well get this over with now. But if this isn't the right time for you I will wait." She tells me, reaching over as she squeezes my hand. I squeeze back.

"I can do this. As long as you standing next to me I can do it." I tell her. We both climb out the car as I walk up the path that leads to the door. On the inside I could hear voices. Geez that girl sure wakes up early.

"Ash, she will love you even more." As she kiss me on the cheek and opening the front door. Out of nowhere I see a blonde girl running into me, grabbing onto my legs. I look towards Spencer as she smiles at me, nodding her head towards the kitchen.

"Ashley, I missed you a lot. Thank you for my gifts." I bend down to her level. I look at her like I have looked at her for the first time. Those eyes are exactly like her mother's. She's like Spencer's mini me. She throws her arms around my neck as I hug her.

"I missed you too sweaty. More than you will ever know." She lifts her head from my shoulder as she stare deep into my eyes.

"You not sad anymore. I don't want you and mommy to sad. I love you." she says. As I felt a tear rolling down my cheek and her small thumb wiping it away. She is just the sweetest little thing ever. Out of the corner I see Aiden and Spencer starring at us. I got up as she ran to her mother and hugging her too.

Aiden came towards me as he hugs me.

"Congratulations." He said.

"She told you." I ask.

"She didn't have too, I saw the big rock on her hand that's why I told you to fix it, seems like you have." He says.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"You will be good for them, don't make me come after you." he said jokingly. He turns around and told Spencer his going to go out for abit. To give us time alone with Hadley. He said that breakfast was waiting on us already.

And with that he walks out the door.

**AN: I know its short chapter. Just bare with me…Good things take time we don't want to rush it.**

**I want to thank all my readers who have been with me since the beginning of WHTM you guys make it worth while to write this story. There was a point where I wanted have give up, I think it was after chapter 20 when things in my own life started to go downhill. But then I thought why let outside influences stop me. I have found a wonderful person who's I've been sharing my life with and I am just glad this person likes me back. **

**This is all for you.**

**Reviews are always welcome.**


	42. Chapter 42

_**AN: dedicate this chapter to my good friends me4son and Glenda**_

**Chapter 41**

**Spencer's POV**

Breakfast with my daughter and Ashley went quite well, I dint expect Hadley to be so exceptive of her mother actually marrying another woman. Just a few more things to get out the way before we can actually plan on getting married. My parents don't know about us yet. I haven't spoken to Chelsea since the birth of her newborn son. When ever I hear someone is having a boy it takes me back to what happened to me so long time ago. Every day I try to face this world not wondering on the what ifs of life but deep down my heart is still aching for the life I had lost. He would have been so fond of Ashley. But what if I never lost my son would my marriage with Aiden have worked out. I can just picture the four of us together on Christmas and birthdays. Him playing around the yard with his trucks or a basketball like his Dad. It's amazing how life could be all picture perfect one second and the next it's gone. In a blink of an eye.

_Flashback_

_I was coming from work that afternoon, the whole day I didn't feel good that's why I came home. I got out of my car and entered the house calling for Aiden and Hadley but no reply. I stepped into the kitchen passing the sink I felt a severe pain up my abdomen but thought nothing of it. I went to pour some water from the tap, on my way returning to go to the bedroom I feel this pain again and not long felt something wet underneath me, thinking I wanted to pee, but then I saw blood and I felt dizzy falling to the floor and holding my stomach and seeing blood. I cried out for help but the pain just doesn't ease. Minutes later I hear the front door open and hearing small feet running to the kitchen I look up and theirs my little girl with big eyes looking scared and tears starting to fall from her face._

_I see her turn her face calling._

"_Daddy!"_

"_Mommy!"_

_I hear Aiden running towards our little girl shushing her and then telling her to go into the lounge while he was busy grabbing the phone and holding me in his arms._

"_Babe. It's going to be okay."_

"_Aid… (crying)I can't (crying)…it's to much blood (crying)…we going to lose our baby and it's my entire fault." His cradling me in his arms while I can't seem to stop the tears from falling._

_End of flashback_

Its like a recurring dream playing over and over in my mind. Gosh? why do I keep going back to what was when there is this amazing beautiful brunette that swept me off my feet. But yet I am drifting off to another life.

I don't have second thought I know I am not. My life without Ashley wouldn't be worth living, if she's not next to me.

I want to ask her if we could have a baby. I just feel like my life isn't complete without having another child. But how would she react to this. How do I ask her without scaring her off? I mean we not getting any younger and with her career who knows when we will actually settle down and start a family.

I didn't hear anyone or feel her arms around my waste.

"What you thinking about Spence. You have been rather quiet ever since Hadley left with Aiden." Yeah Hadley left with Aiden to go too Ohio for the weekend. Part of me feels happy he left so that I could spend more time with Ashley in my house. With Kyla staying at her place it's difficult to get any alone time. But seeing my daughter and ex husband leave just brought so many memories back from the day I left him behind.

Without saying anything back my mind wondered back to that day.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Spencer! Come already are you going to be late for your flight." I hear Chelsea shout from the car, before I close the door I breathe out, I am sorry Aiden, and lock up and walk over to her and handover my key. I turn around and have one more look and I felt the tears finally rolling down my face when I felt someone hug me from behind, I knew that arms I knew who the person were, cause that were the arms who hold me when I was in the hospital after my car accident so many years ago, the person who's heart I tore apart when I didn't want to deal with the death of our baby, the person who gave me and my daughter a life that I would treasure forever, the person who gave my little girl all the love she deserves and who loved me. I am going to miss him._

"_It's going to take time Spence but I know that we are going to be okay, I know that this might be hard now but you are my best friend. If you need anything call me. Take care of our girl." He says as he breath's me in._

"_I am going to miss you. We both will." I turn around to face him as I see his eyes as its glistening from the tears. He opens the car and Hadley moves nearer to the door as he kneels down to her level and hugging the small blonde._

"_Daddy's going to miss you so much." I heard the tremble and for the first time I saw him crying in front of Hadley as she holds tight around his neck._

"_Guys we got to go." Clay calls out. _

"_Not yet." I hear her say so softly. I wipe my own tears away as Aiden stood up and take her little hands around his neck off._

_He kisses her forehead. "Remember I am always in here." He shows to her heart, and then points to his._

"_And I am in there." She says back._

"_Aiden." He heard me and hugs me._

"_I couldn't say goodbye at the airport it's to hard. To say goodbye there." He says as I could here his cries._

"_I know." He pulled back from our hug but still had me in his arms as he cups my cheeks with both his hands. I was staring right into his green eyes as it closes and he moves closer towards my lips and felt it as he presses his lips on mine, I didn't pull away because this is goodbye, I close my eyes as I slowly move my lips as I felt his tongue slip through mine. It lasted for less then a minute when we pulled away leaning our foreheads together._

"_Bye Spence. Please go before I stop you." I walked around him and got in the back seat of Clay's SUV, when I pick Hadley up to sit in my lap as she's waving to her Daddy until we out the drive way and can no longer see him anymore._

_END OF FLAHBACK_

I felt a kiss to the back of my neck as I turn around looking at her starring back at me. I didn't even know tears were streaming down my face as she gently kissed it away as I hold on to her. I hold as tight to her as her own arms slinked around my waste just letting me cry into her shoulders.

"I love you Spencer. Forever and Always." She says to me. But all I could get out was the sobs.

She lead me to the couch as she sat down and we both laid there and with her gently massaging my hair. The feel of her fingers scratching my scalp felt to so much better, that my sobs became even afterwards. I lift up my head as I still lay halfway on top of her. Just starring in the others eyes.

"You're amazing Ashley. I love you so much." With that I leaned forward and captured her lips with mine as we both just laid and enjoyed the kisses. Without ripping each others clothes off. We finally felt the tiredness and fell asleep right here on my couch.

I heard her say.

"Whatever you were crying about I don't hold anything against you Spencer I just love you so much. Maybe one day you will let me help you with it." I didn't reply because it wasn't needed. As I could hear her breathing even out.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ashley's POV**

I feel asleep with Spencer laying on top of me after finding her starring up in space like she use to do. Sometimes I want to ask her what happened to her after the baby died. Even though Aiden told me she would always cut people out her life if she feels the pain of what happened to her but I can't have her close herself off with me. I want to help her with this. And the fact that Aiden took Hadley to visit her grandparents in Ohio, it more reason for Spence to become emotional. Sometimes I also wonder if she regrets me, the fact that we met and fell in love but I know that I shouldn't worry because she is all mine. And nothing can changer that. But I hate seeing her so hurt.

"You awake." I hear her ask me. As I look down and see the beautiful blue eyes that captured my every thought.

"Yeah. I was just thinking." I tell her.

"About me I hope." She says.

"Off course who else."

"What is it Ash. You can ask me." she says. As I see her sitting up straight and I followed suit.

"Why were you crying earlier? And don't tell me it's nothing because I know you all to well." I tell her. She didn't answer at first but then she did.

"I was thinking about the baby and how my marriage to Aiden just fell apart. Sometimes I wished I could change certain things of how I reacted back then. If I have listened I would have never lost my son." I kept quiet just hearing her say she wished she could change things stung me in a hard way.

"But I know I can't. And with Hadley gone the day we left Ohio with Aiden standing there waving as we drove away. I don't love him in that way. But I was never I good wife to him and who says I will be one to you." she says as the tears came falling again.

"I love you Ashley with all my heart and that would never change but what if you leave me or Hadley or who knows our own kids."

"I would never do that Spence you should know that by now. That this is what I want. If it wasn't I would have been gone along time. But I can't picture my life without you are Hadley." I tell her as I pulled her into a hug never wanting to let go.

"Ash I am sorry, don't think for one minute its Aide I want cause his got nothing to offer me but friendship. But part of me wished I had my son you know."

"Well have a son don't worry, even if I have to go steal one for you." with that I could hear the giggle. That is music to my ears knowing I can make her happy and laugh all at once.

_**AN: No they not breaking up. A thought I should bring back some emotional flashbacks for Spencer. I am kind of in the angst mood and that's how the chapter came out. Sorry guys.**_

_**Reviews are welcome**_

_**My new story Triangle is creating some bad things from people its just a story no need to take it seriously.**_


	43. Chapter 43

_**AN: the long awaited update. I am sorry guys for taking so long with this chapter. I hope my readers hasn't left me yet.**_

_**NC17**_

**Chapter 42**

**Ashley's POV**

The group has finally reached an understanding that I won't be able to go on tour with my new CD. I want to stay here with Spencer with Hadley still gone she has become so much more emotional. But the good fiancée that I am is doing the best to cheer my girl up. I am currently in her bathroom, running her a well needed bubble bath in her hot tub. I have gotten some candles lit all over the bath with some aroma therapy bath salts and oils. She has been so intense that I can't stand seeing her like this. The whole thing about the baby she lost will come up and she would burst into tears and all I can do is take her in my arms and tell her it's all going to be fine. Part of me believe that once a woman loses their baby the way she did it stays with you for the rest of your life I mean I never experience it. I am not a mother but I can honestly say that I am learning every day from her.

The fact that she could actually break down one minute and be happy or trying to be happy for my sake. But I know her to well, to know she is not happy.

I just want to be a great wife to be and a great mother to Hadley. I know I love Jordan like my own but sometimes I would wish to have a daughter or a son of my own. Maybe we'll have that together Spencer doesn't know this but I have been doing some research on insemination procedures. I still don't know who will be carrying the baby. I would want a blue eyed blonde just like Spencer and Hadley, but I know she wants a brown eyed girl. All in due time I hope.

Another me would be a handful.

I would never do to my kids what my mother did to me and Kyla. I will never forget what she did till the day I die.

I got lost in my own memories when I saw her standing in the doorway of her bathroom. She is so beautiful, I can't believe she is actually mine all mine. No one can take her away from me. I remember the time we were separated the distance was hard on me. Because she was on the other end of this continent and I was here miserable but that is over now she came back. She made me complete. She is my angel.

"Ash." I saw her standing in front of me. my eyes burning through hers as I could feel a tear drop rolling down my cheek as she catch it with her finger.

"Ash, baby are you okay. Why are you crying." She asks me. I can see the worry in her eyes.

"I am just so happy and been thinking about us, our future. So this is tears of joy not sadness." I tell her. She turns around as she bends over checking if the water is exactly the way she wants it.

As she stood back up I see her take of her shirt throwing it to the side of the bathroom, then she took of her jeans slowly as I watch her doing it real slow. My own eyes can't seem to retrieve from her body as every piece of clothing got scattered all around us. Until she stood in just her bra and panty. Gosh? She is exquisite, her silky white skin looking so fucking good. I was still stood to the ground as she unclasp her bra and then with a quite sexy smile she slowly moves her fingertips in between her panty's waist band, slowly moving her hips, swaying it side to side. I knew this was danger zone that this was for her to unwind but the ache between my own legs couldn't help it. I kept myself strong as I know she is trying to seduce me and I love the fact that this at least is taking her mind off of what's been happening. She tugs her fingers in all the way as she moves her panty slowly down her legs still starring at me. She was standing in front of me naked. I could see the blush steeping up her neck to her cheeks.

She moves closer towards me as I know this is going to get steamy in here. Me, her and that bath tub. But I try to stop her with my hands pressing against her chest. Gosh the feeling of that breast in my hands feels so amazing, soft and firm all at once.

"Spence." I say as she presses her lips against mine slowly then hard as my tongue welcomed hers instantly. The feeling of her skin against my own felt like fire. The desire, the burning ache inside of me wants her. Gosh I want her so fucking bad. Take her Ashley. As I lift her up by the ass and her legs wrapped around my waist as I push her on top of the counter. I put her down but her legs never left me.

I pull away for a moment and stare into her darken eyes.

"Spence, what about your bubble bath." She didn't even answer as she captures my lips once more fuck I can't stand this anymore as I push her more against the mirror behind her.

I gently bring my hand up to her nipples as I pinch it as it hardens and bring my mouth close to one rosy nub as I suck on it. Just the feeling of her breast makes me hornier than what I was before her little sexy dance.

"Ashley, please don't make me wait. I need you inside of me." before she could say anything more my finger were sliding through her wet folds. Fuck she is so fucking wet.

"Baby you are so wet. Did I do that to you." she looks at me and just smiles that naughty smile before she captures my bottom lip biting on it. Biting so fucking hard I couldn't help but push my fingers harder on her clit. I entered her with two fingers as my thumb stroke the harden clit. OMG, did she have to do that. She bit my tongue as I could feel my own clit throbbing. Throbbing for her to put me out my horny misery. I haven't gotten any in quite sometime with Aiden and Hadley always around and with Kyla back at my place. You could say we are sexually frustrated. The beast will get loose and once she's awaken you won't get her to sleep after that.

"Gosh Ash, more, deeper." With that I entered her with another finger as I could feel her walls pulling tight as I hear her breathing picks up.

"FUCK SPENCER! YOU GOING TO MAKE ME CUM WITH YOU!" I yell out as I know with her screams and mine together we won't be able to hear a thing.

"ASHLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYY!!!!!!!!! She is so fucking hot. My wife to be is the sexiest human being ever. I felt her biting my neck as her one hand start to unzip my jeans. I could feel everything that is happening her hands sliding inside of my jeans. Under my panties then I felt it.

"SPENCERRRRRRRRR!!!." I cried into her neck as she fucked me harder pushing deeper inside of me. I could feel her orgasm being close as my finger curl inside of her.

"Ash come with me. Come with me baby." With that she came all over my hand and I came all over hers. We both were still inside each other as she we slowly riding the other from their orgasm. My gosh that was fucking amazing. She slowly took her hand out my pants as I remove my hand out of her pussy. I bend down as I spread her legs open. As I suck on her clit my tongue finding her opening as I licked and sucked all the essence that is Spencer. The smell alone takes me on as I could feel my self leaking between my legs. Oh fuck I shouted as I looked up in her eyes. The shade of blue turning darker.

"Bath tub." She says. As she got off the counter I could see the wetness on the counter where she has sat moments later.

She got in as I just stood there. Watching her getting into the bath tub heating the water by the button on the left side of her tub.

"Are you coming are not." She asks.

Who am I to say no to her? I took off my jeans and tank and underwear and got in behind me. She presses her back against my breast as my own legs entwine with hers. Her ass moving deeper into my heated core. I could feel myself getting wetter besides being in this tub.

"Ashley."

"Yeah babe."

"Do you think we will always be like this? Just loving each other no matter what life throws at us. Cause I never want this fire between us to go out. It's not just about the intimacy its more. I am so in love with you. And I wanted to know if you want to move in with me and Hadley." I didn't know what to say. Cause the minute I heard that my hands froze on her body.

"Ash." She says as she turns around and stares at me. It must be the look on my face but I saw her frowning. Just when she was about to get out, I pulled her back towards me as she came to sit in my lap. I cupped both her cheeks as I kiss her lightly all over her face.

"Only if this is what you want Spencer is you ready for us to live in one house I mean yea we would eventually but I don't want to disrupt yours and Hadley's routine."

"Ash this is what I want. I enjoyed you being here this weekend just being with each other. Hadley will be more than happy I mean I told her what it means when we get married. This is what I want baby. You me and Hadley our family together." Tears came from her eyes as I kiss them away. I cant believe that one moment we are making love and next being all soulful she has really made me all sentimental who would have thought I would be whipped I am so whipped and I am loving it every minute.

"Yes I can't wait to move is. But we got to make sure Hadley is okay. When we going to go get her." when I ask that Spencer started to get frightened facing her mother, facing what happened there so long time ago.

"I don't know if I can do this Ash, seeing my mother again. She will never accept us."

"Well I don't care if she doesn't accept me at all but I will be there babe. I won't let her hurt you. Its time you face your fears. Everything that is still haunting you from so long ago. I just want you and Hadley to be happy."

"We are cause of you. I love you Ashley Davies." She says.

"I love you Spencer Carlin." And with that we enjoyed the bubble bath just her lying there on my chest as I stroke her stomach lightly with my finger tips sending chills through her body. As I softly kiss her shoulders on each side.

This is what I want my future to be like. Raising our family together. Making sweet love every night and taking long baths together.

This is what my heart wants.

_**AN: baba this is for you.**_


	44. Chapter 44

_**AN: I dedicate this chapter to my baby, happy birthday wish you many more years to come. I even put your favourite song in THIS IS MY NOW.**_

_**Love always**_

**Chapter 43**

**Spencer's POV**

Ashley left earlier on to meet up with her father and Kyla. I wasn't in the mood to be around anyone but Ash, but I told her she should go spend time with her family. I will be okay.

I was laid on my bed listening to our song THIS IS MY NOW, while I was singing the lyrics with her on my iPod. To think she sang it without any instruments just her voice and the comfort it brought to my racing heart. If only her voice could do this to me, calm me in a way then I never want to feel the pain that it would cause if she weren't near me or in my life.

As I was singing with her it felt like we were singing a duet in the comfort of our own hearts. If a love like this can with stand distance, it could with stand my mother as well. I am not going to let her come between me and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I was just laying here feeling the bed dip next to me.

When I opened up my eyes she was lying beside me with those bright golden brown eyes, just lying there starring deep into the other's eyes. This is what we have been doing often just embracing life in its purest form.

Gosh I love this woman. Yesterday when I thought that she was going to decline moving in with me and Hadley I was nearly at that point where I want to breakdown. I don't think I will ever want to be without her. She moved her hand up to my cheek caressing it lightly with the back of her hands.

Her eyes have these golden specs in. I could stare in it for the rest of my life.

"How was dinner with your father and sister." I ask her as I moved closer as my head lay in the crook of her neck and she's playing with my shirt as it moves up a little.

"I could've have spend that wasted time with my beautiful fiancée." She says. As I look up and see the joy in her eyes.

"I love you." she kissed my fore head.

"I love you." as we moved even more closely towards the other.

"I don't want to go Ash; I called Aiden and his bringing Hadley back home. I just don't think I ever want to see my mother." I said.

"I told you I would be right by your side. I am not going anywhere."

"I know you wont but please for now lets forget about my mother and everything else for one day." I say.

"I can do that."

"Ash."

"Yeah."

"Make love to me. I need to feel you." I tell her. With one movement Ashley was straddling me. I looked into her eyes as she came near to my lips capture it. My tongue slid through. Getting reconnected with the lips that have filled every path of my body. It feels so good having her on top of me. Her hands gently unbutton my shirt as I lift myself lying there with a bare chest and my panties on. As she slid down my legs as she took her own clothing of throwing them to the side of my room. Her hands gently massage my aching body from our previous nights lovemaking. We got out the bathtub her carrying me to the room making oh so sweet love. Gosh wants Ash gets into it she is a firecracker the want to just have her whenever we see the other.

"Gosh Spencer I cant say how much I love you anymore. Cause I love you so much. Just being with you is a blessing for me." with that she start kissing me harder as my fingers run through her curly brown hair. She bit and licked all along my jaw line as she suck on my pulse point I can tell she is going to leave a mark their.

"ASH." My own voice betray me when I felt her move down my breast bone kissing all the way down both her hands on each breast as her tongue went into my navel dipping her tongue in and out. Just the feel of her sleek tongue sends shockwaves through the ache between my legs.

"ASH!" I call out but it's like she doesn't hear me she just kept going as her tongue start to move towards the place I want her so bad. If you were to feel this way with her and with that tongue gosh you would be coming all over yourself in an instant.

She lifts her head up as she stares in my eyes and ducked her head in between my legs. Both her hands going under my legs keeping me still as she kisses the inside of my thighs. Her tongue does this little thing when it gets closer to my clit she moves over it to the other part of my thigh.

This is really driving me insane.

"ASHLEY FUCK. PUT ME OUT MY FUCKING MISERY!" I yell as I push her head closer in between my legs as I felt it. Her tongue circling my clit tugging at it as she pulls in and out of the whole. My whole body rise from the bed as I grab to the bed with both hands pushing my pussy close enough to get more of her tongue. More of her sucking on it. My gosh this is the best feeling to have when you about to explode from being to wind up by this brunette she just do things to me.

"Ash." I say. My voice was starting to get hoarse from all the screaming as she enters me with two fingers looking right at me.

"Spencer you feel so good you know that. I love you babe.

After she was done she came to lie next to me, cuddled up in her arms. Skin to skin. Our legs tangled together. I think I fell sleep right after that. She wore me out that is for sure.

Just for a while I could stop thinking about everyone else's happiness but my own. Don't I deserve to be happy with someone that fills my heart and knows how to love me?

I don't regret the day I took that job offer with Dave, cause if I didn't I would have never felt this happy in my life.

I would have never met the love of my life. I guess that we all have a journey to travel, whether it's to boost your career or family. But I have been on a journey to self- discovery.

_**What hurts the most**_ is that I had to loose my baby to be here.


	45. Chapter 45

Hey guys sorry for taking so long to update this chapter I have been working hard to finish off WHTM, I am not done completely. I thought I would go back into Kyla's past I hope I get this right though. Thank you for all you guys who has kept with me I appreciate it a lot I heart all of you.

Enjoy

**Chapter 44**

I woke up with no fiancée lying beside me. I turn to the side she occupied the previous night. I ran my hand over the space beside me and it still felt warm. I wonder where she is or what she is up to.

I heard music coming from the kitchen area but thought nothing of it. When I saw two sets of eyes starring at me in the doorway. One brown pair I could stare in and get lost forever, it's the other pair that got me jumping out of bed, and luckily Ash got me dressed in a shirt earlier the morning. That would have been too awkward to explain.

I was in seconds in front of her picking her up and swinging her then holding her so close to me. I could see that Ashley is happy because I bet she has something to do with this.

"Baby when did you come home." I ask her.

"Just now mom." She says as I pull away and just stare at her beautiful face. I can't believe my little girl is home. I hugged her again as she held me even tighter.

"I missed you so much mommy. I love you.," she says.

"I love you too baby. Very much." I say.

"Well now that, that is taken care of would you two join me at the breakfast table? I cooked up a storm and your favourite Had." She says to the little girl. It's amazing how these two have become so close in a short period of time. Ash is forever buying gifts and Hadley can't speak enough of her stepmom. Kyla has been feeling a little left out, now that her favourite blue-eyed blonde has taken to her sister.

"Why don't we invite Kyla as well? Would be even great to have the whole family together." Just by saying her name she appears next to her sister.

"Did you honestly think I would let Ash burn all that lovely food no way? Hi Spence. I can see you looking all surprise." She says. As she comes to hug me with Hadley still attach to me.

'You guys. Thank you, but I am starving actually. I can definitely eat something right about now.

"Well that is our queue Had, we should leave mommy and Ash." She laughs and takes Hadley's little hand. Hadley walks to Ash giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She is such a grown up I tell yeah.

"Seems like you not the only blonde who digs me." she says as she moves closer to me. I wrap my arms around her neck as we stare in each other's eyes.

"I love you Spencer." She says as she captures my lips but the kiss didn't go deep. Just a kiss that sends chills down my spine. I pull away and look at her.

"I love you too, but I am definitely starving for some food. I need to fill me up." She gives me that look.

"Well I can always fill that hunger you know I am good at doing that." She says I just look at as I grab her hand.

"But right now its actual food I need to fill me up." As I ran out her chasing after me. She caught up with me just before we entered the kitchen and pulled me near the wall as she caught me licking my lips as I suck on my own lip.

"You know I can do a much better suck on It." she says. Our bodies pressed close to the other, with my back against the wall.

"Not while my daughter is in the next room." I tell her. As I lightly kiss her pouting lips and moved from under her towards the kitchen once there the food was already sat in my plate. The same choc chip funny faces Hadley had. She looks at me with those sparkling blue eyes.

"Mommy look just like mine." She says. I love seeing her happy it's what I want for her to be happy for the rest of her life. I heard Ashley's foot steps coming down the wall way towards the kitchen as I went to go sit next to my girl. Kissing her fore head.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too mommy." She says.

Then I heard Kyla.

"I love you Spencer." She says. And we all laughed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ashley's POV**

Breakfast went well me and my girls with my sister there I couldn't have asked for a better morning.

So I had Kyla go down to Ohio to fetch Hadley cause Aiden had to leave for London when he was supposed to bring Hadley home. The Carlins wasn't so happy about it but Mr Carlin seems to be reasonable enough to send Hadley with Kyla.

I was stood in my bedroom doing some packing. When I saw Kyla coming to sit down on the edge of my bed. Starring at the room like she hasn't seen it before.

"What's cooking in that head of yours sis." I ask her.

"I can't believe you actually moving out. And leaving me the loft." She says.

I stop the packing and sat down beside her.

"I know right, Ashley Davies is finally growing up, who would have thought." I tell her.

"Ash you wont believe me if I say this but you have been growing up for quite sometime now and I am so proud of the woman you have become. I mean the old Ashley would have run away along time from responsibility." She says all in one breath. I didn't even realised I was shedding tears.

"Do you think so." I ask her.

"Totally, Spencer and Hadley is lucky to have you." she says.

"No, it's the other way around I am lucky to have them. I can't see myself without both of them, neither without you." I tell her.

"So how is Jake these days." I ask her.

"Well we aren't anything anymore. Do you think I will ever be happy? I look at the three of you together and you guys are really happy. A family, I wish I could get that or have something close to that." She says. I could see the pain in my sister's eyes.

"Did you love him." I ask her.

"Love who." She asks.

"This guy you told me about so many years ago. I think we were still young when you and mom left you use to write me letters but I forgot the name. Did you love this boy?" I ask her once again. I could see this faraway look in her eyes and a smile creep the corners of her mouth as she turns her head to me.

"We were just kids he was my best friend back home, his parents moved them to some other town I can't remember, but up till today I could say he was my first love." She says.

"What is his name?" I asked her.

"I can't remember." She says. I could tell she was lying to me. She knew his name but I won't push it. Whoever he is must've never known how she felt about him.

"Don't let it slip away?" I tell her.

"What? Are you being crazy again." She asks me laughing.

"If you know who he is and where he is, go find him. Love comes only once if you let it pass you might never get it back."

"I wish it was that easy. He was married he has a beautiful daughter and I wouldn't want to come between that. His still very much in love with his ex wife and I don't stand a chance with her. She is all he thinks about. Plus there little girl has gone through to much for me to get in the middle." She says. The story seems so similar but yet it can't be. I mean it cant they don't know each other. Right.

"I know but don't you think its time for him to move on if the wife and he didn't work out. Yeah there is a child in the picture, I mean look at me. Look how far we have come me and Spence are happy so is Had." I tell her. But seems that she has already made her mind up.

"Then Jake. Did you love him at all." I ask her.

"I cared about him a lot, but not enough to love him. To fall in love with him. It's just all so hard. Why is love so damn confusing? Here is a great guy who wants to spend his life with me but my heart is crushing on someone who is still in love with someone else. It's just so damn confusing. How do you do it?"

"I had help. You helped me a lot in the time I lost Spencer you kept me sane but I knew in my heart I was meant to spend my life with her. She broke my heart yeah but at the end of the day it's me she chose not her ex husband. And with that I can live with. Cause now we are embarking on a life together."

And with that she stood up. She got to my door and turned around.

"Ash hold tight to what you have, don't ever question it." she says and walked out my room when I heard her own door close.

I don't know what brought all this up but Kyla has changed a lot over the last period. One minute she can be happy and smiling and the next she would breakdown and cry over someone she once knew so many years ago. I should really get her mind of whatever she is been thinking about or who.

I picked my phone scrolling down my contacts and ended up by my favourite girl.

I hit her number and open up the text-messaging box.

**Hey Babe I miss you so much I can't wait to move in. I am going to stay with Ky tonite we need some last minute sister love.**

**Kiss that cutie goodnyt will c u in the morning. I love u.**

I hit send. As I waited for the text to finally go through before I put the phone on my nightstand as I walked out of my room.

Tonight I want to make my last night great. Maybe calling Blake would be just what Ky need. I know those two have been great friends for a while now.

I knock on Kyla's bedroom door, there was no response when I turn the door knob finding my baby sister crying softly, and just the way she was laying on her bed took me back to that day when I found her crying when our parents split. I never thought I would ever see her in this position.

My own tears were falling just seeing a ten-year-old Kyla lying in her bed crying in my arms.

"Ky." I walk closer until I was near her bed and got on, lying beside her. She was a big girl and yet I still feel like protecting her. I will always worry about her cause she is my only family beside my dad and now Spence and Hadley.

"Ash. What you doing here." She asks me. I just stared at her as I brush her brown locks out of her face.

"To take care of you." I said. As I let her rest her head on my arm.

"I am not a kid Ash." She says.

"I know but you my sister and I love you. Let me be here for you Ky. Even if I am moving out it doesn't mean I am going to stop caring about you. Cause I will always." I tell her.

"Okay. But it's really nothing. I am happy for you. Spencer must miss you."

"I know but I already let her know you need me. So stop fussing and get it all out im here." I tell her.

"Okay I will tell you." she starts to tell me.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 45**

**Kyla's POV**

_When I was ten years old my mother moved me to her parents in Baltimore. At first I was sad of the whole move being taken away from my childhood home my friends and my best friend my twin sister Ashley. It was hard to just pick up your life from all the things you have been so accustomed to. My parents split for over two years until my father finally gave into my mother pleas of quitting his band and start over with her, me and Ash._

_I was eleven years old when I first saw him. He had raven hair with sparkling green eyes. He was like my big brother. That was the part he played because he was dating the head cheerleader at our school. I knew that I was crushing on him big time. Every day we would meet up at the gym after he had Basketball practice and I am done with cheerleading practice._

_We would go to the corner diner not to far from where I stayed with my grandparents and he would have a late lunch even though we would have lunch at school too. I would sit opposite him and daydream of him taking me to homecoming. The two of us going on our first date, our first kiss. I wanted him to be my first everything. But he was more popular then what I was. In this time I never spoke about my life in California or who my father was. I never even mentioned Ashley either cause talking about her would be to hard not know if our parents will ever reunite us. I had a difficult time in the new school until I met Aiden. _

_I remember one day on our way home._

"_Kyla?" he called._

"_Yeah Aid." I asked back._

_He went to go sit down on the curb a few blocks away from my house. As he pat the seat next to him. I went to go sit down as well not knowing what is going on._

"_What is wrong?" I ask him. He stares at me and smiled but the smile wasn't his usual smile he would give me. I start to panic when I heard him talk._

"_Kyla I don't know how to tell you this. But you deserve to know." He said so faintly. I could hardly hear him._

"_Aid just tells me already what it is." I kept my eye on him as we stared into each other's eyes._

"_We are moving. My dad got a job in Ohio and his moving my whole family there. I don't want to go Kyla. I just can't leave you." he said. Tears started to fill my eyes when it hit me what happened to me two years prior when my own family got ripped apart. I told him about it. It took me awhile to tell him about Ashley and my dad. He knows how I feel about people always leaving me._

"_Why can't your dad get a job here? Why you have to leave me?" I asked with tears that seem to get more and more as I felt him holding me my head lay against his chest._

"_I don't know. I knew you going to think I am leaving you but I am going to come back for you Kyla. Just you wait and see. Yeah we are only thirteen but I love you." I heard those three words I Love You. What does it mean when you are thirteen and someone tells you that?_

"_I love you too Aid." I say back._

"_No Kyla not as in a friend way. I love you more than that. Do you know I always imagine I will take you to homecoming? Our first date and our first kiss. But Cherry came along and I wish that its you I asked out that night. I want you to be my girlfriend not just my girl as a friend." he told me. I lift my head from his chest as we just sat there starring deep into each others eyes when I felt it. It was so quick that it felt like it never happened. He kissed me right on my lips. There was no tongue but it was the first time I ever kissed a boy. A boy I have loved for two years._

_We got up and both went our separate ways. He told me that we will stay in touch. And we did but in less then a month there was no more calls, no more text, no more emails. It was like Aiden just vanished into thin air. He was the only boy I ever loved._

_Until I came to find myself in Spencer Carlin Dennison's household one day finding a picture of my childhood sweetheart with a blonde girl hugging him. My heart was racing from the shock that he got married and had a life with a beautiful author and there daughter. When I met Spencer it never clicked Dennison. How could I have forgotten? I use to write on all my textbooks Kyla Dennison. I use to day dream about him and me sharing our lives together. But he ended up being the husband of my friend._

_I didn't want to ask Spencer about him knowing what they have been through in their marriage when they lost there baby. _

_I got a call from Ashley to go down to Ohio to go fetch Hadley. I really was in no state to be facing the man version of the boy I once loved. I think I still love him after all this time. Spencer couldn't face her parents yet and Ash begged me to do this._

_I was on my dad's private jet, Ash told me that Hadley is staying with her grandparents seeing as her father was out of town. I called to the Carlin residence when a Mr Carlin must be Spencer's dad told me Hadley was to stay at her father's till the morning. I explained to him that I was send by Spencer to get Hadley cause_

_she is currently working on a huge project with Dave. He gave me the address of the house Spencer once lived in._

_It was two hours after my call when I arrived at a white picket fence house. This was a home once I can see. I open the small white gate. But as I walked midway to the door. I couldn't move. I just stood there frozen to the ground. You would think it's the cold or be haps it's the snow that was surrounding me._

_No. it was none of those things natural disasters. I wish it were though. _

_You ever got that feeling when you are stuck in time that everything around you is moving but you are stuck in this place where everything is just moving slow. So slow that you can't even feel your own legs start to move in sync. _

_I was stunned when I saw who were standing right in front of me. My tears start to fall as I couldn't believe that it has been years. Fifteen years since I have looked into those same sparkling green eyes but this time its not sparkling. It's sad. Just as sad as the day when he told me he was moving away. Just as sad as I saw it when he told me he wished he asked me out instead. All I remember is the boy who told me he loves me, the boy who made every school day a blast, the boy who protected me against jerks. How could Spencer let go of this. How could anyone ever let go of someone like him. He stood standing a few steps away from me. His eyes squinting trying to place my face. It's been so long._

_When I heard him say._

"_Ky. Kyla. Is that really you." he said so soft like his afraid its some ghost of his past._

_I stood there still when I heard small feet coming from the house running up to me._

"_Kyla!" she shouted. As she holds tight to me. I picked her up. Swinging her around._

"_Yes baby its me." I tell her. As I kiss her on the forehead. I let her go as she grab onto my hand and pulled me near the house. Aiden still stood there. He turns around the same time I looked back as our eyes caught each other and that smile appeared back on his face. The smile he used to give me._

"_Daddy come on. This is the Kyla I spoke about." She says smiling at me. Gosh? I can't believe this is actually happening. To think he was there all along._

_To be continued……._

_**AN: What you guys think of them meeting after all this time. Let me know. I must say but I love Hadley a lot, she reminds me of another little girl.**_

_**I kept this part in my mind for quite sometime, I was jus looking for away for them to meet & Hadley is always my one up.**_

_Its all flashbacks up until we get to the present. How Kyla met him and how she went to get Hadley. So pls don't get confuse with this update. _


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 46**

**Kyla's POV**

_I was sat down on their couch as Hadley is showing me her baby pictures with her Mommy and Daddy when she was still an infant say around three years old. In all the pictures they looked like the perfect family. Like everything in life seems to have been good. I looked up as I see Aiden coming from the kitchen with two glasses of juice and a juice box for Hadley. I turn my face towards her as she saw me starring at her father, but she wasn't frowning she had this huge smile on her face. I know how much this girl loves her father his amazing person._

"_Here, baby." He tells her. As she takes the juice box from him and went to go sit by the small desk with lots of crayons and pages on. She must've been busy with it before I showed up._

"_She's amazing isn't she." He says to me but still looking at the small blonde. You can see by the looks of it she was in deep concentration with her drawing._

"_Yeah she is." I said back._

"_Just like her mother. I take it you know now me and Spencer were once married." He says. As he came to sit down on the opposite chair not to far from where I am sat but still too far for my liking. I know. I just can't believe it's actually Aiden's house I am sitting in._

"_Eventually yes. I saw your picture once. Nobody knows about me knowing you from another life." I told him._

"_So you completely forgot about me then." He asked frowning._

"_What?" I stood up and went towards the kitchen I didn't want to do this not now and not in front of his daughter. It's enough that Spencer and Ashley has fought in front of her and breaking her household. I won't be that person. I am happy for them I am but still a little girls family got ripped apart. And here I am standing in the kitchen with the love of my love, if he is still the same man or boy I once loved._

_I heard foot steps and knew it was him._

"_Ky. Please tell me what is wrong. I never thought I would ever see you again. After that day." I turned around and looked him in the eye._

"_Please don't. Just stop. You said you'll come for me. You promised but you never meant it did you. You know how hard it was to go to that school everyday people blaming me for you leaving. It's like you never existed Aid. You just stop emailing, calling and texting. God!" I gasp from being out of breath from spilling everything I ever wanted to tell him._

"_Why?" I ask him as I can feel the tears falling over my cheeks. He wanted to move closer but I pushed out of his way just before he could hug me._

"_I am sorry okay. I thought it was for the best. I mean we were only thirteen Ky. It's not like I could've made a commitment at that stage. I have a family. Well I had a family and your sister stole that from me. I knew who she was that day she rocked up at my house. When Spencer lost our baby our lives went downhill from there. And in there sit the only reason why I am still here. She is all I have left to live for._

_You and me we were best friends Kyla. You were my best friend." he said. As his hand was holding on to the kitchen counter. _

"_I meant nothing. Then why did you kiss me. Why did you tell me you love me? Just explain to me why you said that you will come back for me. If you knew you weren't going to stick to that promise. I cried for days then months then finally I realised his not coming back for me. I stayed on in Baltimore when my parents reunited. My sister thought I didn't want to be around her cause she was gay. But what no one knew was I stayed on because of your promise." I couldn't keep it in anymore. It's been fifteen years of pain, of longing for a boy that I thought was dead. _

"_I am sorry okay. Things changed when I moved here. I started playing for Varsity when I got to my new school. I was just busy trying to get scholarships and wanting play professional basketball. Then my knee gave me problems and I quit playing. It was two years later Kyla. I thought you must've moved on by then." He says._

_I walked closer to him. I look up towards his face. Searching his eyes for anything else. I use to do that when we were younger I could read him, I guess I can't anymore._

_I felt myself being hugged by him. He holds on so tight._

"_I never forgot." He said into my hair. I couldn't help not to smile._

"_Me neither. But I can't stay long even if I want to my sister is waiting for that little one in L.A." I tell him. As I wiped my tears from my face. I didn't want Hadley to see me this way._

"_Yeah I know she inform me to. I am leaving tonight for London." He said. Just when I wanted to say something we heard Hadley coming into the kitchen._

"_Daddy. I am done. Look. A work of art right." She says with her pigtails bouncing up and down. She is the cutest girl I have ever met. He bends down to her level as he took the drawing from her small little hands. She looks at me, just smiling, as Aiden couldn't keep his eyes of the drawing scanning every detail. This must be there thing._

"_You right princess it's a work of art. It goes on the wall of my office where all the others are hanging. What do you say." He asks her._

"_Yay!" she squealed as she throw both her arms around his neck. With that said she took off towards the hallway which must be down to her bedroom._

"_You love her lot right." Duh off course. But he just smiled. As he got up with the picture still in his hands._

"_She's my princess. That girl got talent. She is going to be the next Picasso." He said. As he showed me the picture she drew. It's the two of them throwing snowballs at the other. And a snowman on the far end. Above it read: __** THE BEST DADDY EVER! **___

"_Aww Aiden that is so cute. How do you do it? Being so far away from her. I don't think I would survive what you must be going through." I tell him as we both went to go sit down._

"_I got my work, and Chelsea my best friend she has been my rock really. I mean she and Spencer are close friends but Spencer didn't even come back for the birth of her own godson. She just packed up and left. The only thing keeping me sane right now is that little blue eyed blonde. She is my world Kyla. I lost my son just like Spencer did. _

_But I am coping. But a part of me still loves Spencer; I think I will always love her." and that is when I knew he would never get over Spencer, its been so long now she is getting married to my twin sister and here is a handsome man still stuck on his ex wife._

_Awhile later he stood up and went to go get Hadley's things ready. Apart of me feels sorry for him and apart of me wants him seeing the grown version of the boy I once loved made me realise it was him I wanted all this time that Jake and all the other guys I have dated never compared to him. I was still in deep thought when he appeared in front of with Hadley standing beside him. She loves her Daddy so much and I can relate to that. I loved my dad but deep down I always thought he loved Ashley more then me. Just because she has a huge part of our father she is the singer, the composer, the lyricist and I am just the artist, the interior decorator._

"_Kyla you are doing good." I heard him say. He uses to do that reading my mind when I was so far away. I just smiled when I felt a small hand tugging at me. I look down as her blue eyes sparkle with joy in them. She is so lucky to have so many people who loves her and who would protect her._

"_Daddy can Kyla come visit us again after Mommy and Ashley go away." she ask her father. He looks at me smiling and back at Hadley._

"_Only if she wants to princess, remember what we talked about earlier." He tells her. While he is dressing her in her warm coat and gloves and scarf and beanie. What an amazing father he is._

"_That I should be a good girl for Kyla and to kiss her when she is sad." She says as both of them start to laugh._

"_That so isn't funny you two." I tell them._

"_She is joking about the kiss though but definitely the behaving part, right princess." He said._

"_Right Daddy." _

"_So this is it baby till we meet again. I love you so very much I am going to miss you and remember where am I." he asked her as she stares at him. She points to his heart._

"_Always in there." She says. As she walks closer to him hugging her father so tightly never wanting to let go. Her face was pressed into his broad shoulder._

"_That is my girl. Come on honey Mommy awaits for you." just hearing her mommy waits for her she was up and jumpy taking her small bag from her father as I took the bigger one._

_As I turn around to get the door he moved so close to open it for me, and hugged me for longer than he tended to._

"_It was great seeing you after all this years Ky, you turned into a beautiful lady. Hope he treats you good." He says. Just before I wanted to rectify him. He said his goodbye and me and Hadley walked out as the small girl pulls me to get into the car. As we drove away I could see him standing there in his door way. And once again my heart broke just a little more._

_We landed in L.A and it was already morning when Ash met up with us at the airport to surprise her fiancée. When she saw Ashley standing there waiting for us I couldn't believe how much this little girl has weaved her way in both our hearts. I am happy Ashley found her family but back in Ohio is a boy I truly love and maybe just maybe he will move on. When that day is I will never know._

"_How was the meeting with Spencer's ex husband." I hear Ashley ask me. I couldn't reply because my mind was with him and not here with her._

**Ashley's POV**

I was still lying on her bed with her as she told me the story of how she knew him. My gosh who would have though. That the boy my sister has loved for so long was my fiancée's ex husband.

"Does Spence know Ky." I ask her. She didn't say anything because I knew that this was going to be hard on her. The fact that he still loves Spence isn't surprising at all. They had a marriage, a family. They had a future and all that he lost.

"No." she said. I could hear the pain and hurt in her voice.

"It will be okay honey believe me people who are meant for each other will find there way back to each other.

"I don't think me and him or Spashley. You guys have this whole star cross love thing going me and him not so much. I just have to accept the fact that Aiden Dennison isn't the man for me. His heart is some place else and even though he knows he will never have her, he has a daughter who is his life, like he told me, nothing can change that. So please I have told you the story I have layed it out for you everything just let me be by myself go to Spencer and Hadley I will be fine. I promise. You can't protect me from this Ash, nobody can." She told me. As I slowly got up and took my arm back as she rolled over and away from me her face towards the other side of the wall.

"I don't care how much pain you are going through but you are not going to push me away Kyla. And I am not Dad's favourite he love us both equal. Yeah I got his singing genes but that is as far as it went. Don't blame us for mom's craziness. I love you. And I will protect you from anything that is harming you. If Aiden isn't the one then you will find him, just don't give up on love. Don't shut people out. I will be in my room if you need me. Goodnight Sis." And with that I walked out of her room closing it behind me as I hit my back against it sliding down as my own tears started to fall. I want her to be happy I want her to fall in love. I can't believe it's him. Aiden was the boy she uses to tell me about. The Aiden who's wife is my fiancée. The Aiden's daughter I will be raising how more complicated can our lives get. I got up and walked to my room closing it behind me as I dropped to my own bed and fell asleep.

**AN: hope this some up Kyla and Aiden's past its not the end. I will introduce them again in later chapters.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 47**

**Ashley's POV**

I was busy packing some of my boxes in the lounge area. I got up early this morning after everything that went on last night with Kyla. I just wish I can help her somehow. It seems that even she is blaming me and Spencer for everything. It was never my intention to break a marriage up. It's not like either of them was happy. How can any marriage survive if the one doesn't feel happy in the marriage? I know I pursued her while she was married, but I only find out she was married at a later stage but even that would have never kept me away from her. From the first time I laid eyes on that blonde I knew I was a goner. I mean I myself was in a relationship with someone at the time.

_Flashback_

_I ran after her as I saw her standing there. What he did to her was wrong but I didn't want to scare her either._

"_You okay Spencer." I saw her nodding her head knowing that she wasn't really fine as I walk closer to her throwing both my arms around her. Just hoping she don't think I am trying to hit on her in the state that she was in. when she leaned back into my embrace I finally saw that she needed this. Someone to just hold her. After awhile she pulls out my embrace but not too far._

"_I will be okay; you didn't have to come after Me." she tells me._

"_I wanted too. He had no right Spencer. No guy has that right to touch you."_

_If she was mine I would have killed him, but somehow I feel drawn to her to protect her._

"_But he's my friend." I saw the tears streaming down her beautiful face as she tries to hold back on them but no such luck._

"_Some friend yeah. Friends don't do that. Why don't I take you home or get some coffee." She looks at me curiously._

"_What about your girlfriend, I am sure she would freak."_

"_Nah, she would understand, plus I already told Kyla to take Blake home."_

"_If you sure." I heard her say. Still sniffling._

"_Come." I take her hand as I lead her towards my car. As we got to my car in the crowded parking lot. She stopped and starred for awhile I thought something was wrong in her behaviour why she stopped._

"_What?" I ask her._

"_This car." That was a real strange thing to ask me, but I replied back with a smile on my face. As I stare back into those deep blue oceans eyes._

"_Yeah." I opened the passenger door for her as she got in and I walk around to get in the drivers side starting the engine as we drove off._

_I saw her facing me and then she looked back out on the road not knowing what she is really thinking. Tonight was just all strange the girl I have been bumping in the whole time without even a name was sat in my car. I just left my girl friend behind. The girl who cheated on me with that ass, but me and Blake were never in love. I wonder if I will ever find my one true love._

_We finally pull over at the coffee shop where we first bumped into each other._

_We grab a booth and the waiter came over and took our order._

"_So, I finally get to meet the mystery blonde who keeps disappearing." She laughed thinking its funny when I was searching and waiting on her call._

"_It seem like we keep bumping in to each other and yet never got the other ones name. Until tonight." She says._

"_Well I gave you my card and you never called."_

"_To tell you the truth I never even looked at that card, probably still in my purse at the hotel."_

"_Wow, leaving a girl hanging."_

"_Sorry."_

_The waiter finally brought our coffees._

"_So how did you end up with my sister?"_

"_Right here, asking for my autograph."_

"_Yeah she could be a handful."_

"_She's okay." I saw her going quiet knowing she is probably thinking of Kyla._

"_Don't worry she wont be mad."_

"_What?" _

"_You were thinking about my sister."_

"_Yeah and get out my head. We don't know each other that long for you to read me."_

_If you say so Spencer. She looked at me as a small smile was tugged at her lips. I wonder what her story is. Her reason for being here in L.A._

It was times like this. The memories we have shared. How we met the things most people take for granted. It wasn't easy to fall for this amazing beautiful talented writer who came from a small town and take my breath away. It was something that I never ever want to let go. I was still busy when my mind went back to another memory.

_Flashback_

"_Ash what's going on? Why she in your bed." I could see the tears forming._

"_We need to talk and this is not about Spencer." I see her sitting down as I sat besides her taking a hold of her hand. After the years that we've been together I knew that we weren't meant for each other but seeing her now with tears in her eyes really breaks my heart._

"_Blake you know that I love you, I mean we are the best friends since we were nine." I watch her as she nods. I have the utmost respect for her, she's been more like family, all those years when Kyla was gone it was her that brought me out of my depression, she never let go. _

"_Yeah." She sniffles. I take my thumbs and wipe the falling tears of her beautiful face._

"_We both know that this was never true love. We're not in love with each other, we both made a pack years ago that if either one of us find love with someone else they'd be happy for them, but here we are and you're acting like a jealous girlfriend." I know I am being harsh._

"_Ash…w what you saying, that you love her. That I meant nothing, that what we had meant nothing at all, eight years Ash."_

"_It's not about her, it's about me and you, and we are not that people, we never were. Most of the time you were seeing other people and I let you cause I knew their isn't an us. Maybe there once were but there isn't now, I didn't want to hurt you, I said I never would but be realistic."_

"_Gosh? I can't believe you, a hot blonde comes to town and you want to cut me out your life, who says she's into you, huh. You so blinded by her beauty that everything we've been you wants to throw it away. I may have been with those people Ash but you were no saint at all. You slept around just as much. So don't go make yourself perfect for your perfect Spencer." I slapped her through the face. I try to hold her cause I didn't mean it._

"_I am sorry Blake. Please forgive me."_

"_Fuck you Ashley." She got up from the couch as she's making her way to the door._

"_I really loved you, but you are just a spoiled brat, that thinks she owns the world." And with that she leaves after banging the door. Oh my Gosh? Spencer._

_I turn around and in the hallway stand the blonde with tears in her eyes, just when I was about to go to her she walks into Kyla's bedroom._

_End of flashback_

Ever since then Blake and I have been on good terms. With her being a mother. She has changed a lot. She has really tried her best to get over me completely I know that I was never in love with Blake or maybe at a time in my life I was but we weren't meant for each other. Just the way I went about it. The way she found me with another girl in my bed. Blake was the one who arrange our sleepovers. And if she wanted to see anyone else I didn't hold her back. But when Spencer came along things just change. The jealousy between those two have never changed. Maybe it's the fact that I have once been an ass but I have changed I believe that I have. Cause what I am about to embark is going to be the best. It's the best thing that has ever happen to me. Even though my heart was once broken but I knew there is only one person to fix it. Because that was the day I fell in love with her.

_Flashback_

_I got to my car and were on my way to the place my heart is, to the only girl that has gotten me to feel love. Just looking in her ocean Blue eyes makes my heart flutter, the way she stares into space, always having something on her mind. She's married with a kid, but I know that she feels something for me other wise she wouldn't have kissed me back. Blake was right I would give up everything to have her in my life. _

_I parked my car in the parking lot of Beverly Hilton hotel as I am entering and went straight to the elevator and pressed fourth floor PH204. As I am going up I could feel my heart beating faster and faster as my palms getting sweaty. The elevator finally stops at my destination. I got off and walk straight to her door. It's now or never Ashley doesn't freak out now, it's either this or looses her forever._

_I lift my hands and knock. I practically knocked for more then 15 minutes until I finally gave up, accepting the fact that she must've left already. Just when I was about to leave the door opens. There she stood her eyes red and puffy from all the crying I guess we both look the same as I can feel my tears starting to burn in my eyes._

"_Ash, what you doing here." She says so softly I could barely hear what she's saying. All I wanted to do is hold her in my arms and never let go. But I knew that is not the right thing to do now. Not the way she pulled away earlier._

"_**Spencer, since the first day I met you, your warmth, your passion your heart all those little things you do, I remember the first time our eyes locked, the soft curve of your lips, I imagine kissing you then already.**__ But I know that if this is goodbye, if you want me to walk away and let you go back to Ohio, know this that I love you, I am in love with you, and I never thought that there will one day be someone so amazing and talented that will be able to tame the ASHLEY DAVIES, but that my dear you have. When you asked me a while ago if I ever wanted kids, I know I said no but if that person were you then I would want 20. Okay maybe not that much we'll never get our alone time. Please whatever you decide do what's best for you. I will love Hadley as my own, because I know how much she means to you and I ….." I was rambling but before I know it her lips were on mine as she tugs me closer, both her hands on my hip as our lips moves in sync, her tongue were asking for entrance as her tongue slid through my lips, I felt her moving back in to her room, as our lips never leaving the other, my hands cup the back of her neck as she's walking backwards until we in her room, still attached to the other._

_We pull away for a second as we both panting and trying to catch up. Our eyes lock as she licks her lips and capture my lips, I moved her on the bed as she slides up to the head of the bed. I crawl up her as I am straddling her hips._

"_Spence."_

I heard a knock at the front door then hearing small feet running towards me. How do I know its small feet because I have printed her every word and sound in my mind I love her so much. I can't wait for me and Spencer to have one together. I can't wait to have a child of my own. I turn around seeing Blake coming behind the little girl.

"Aunty Ashwey." She says. I always laugh when she calls my name she reminds me so much of Blake when she could never say Kyla's name but Kywa.

"Why you laughing." I hear the red head asking me. I looked at her seeing that she herself has been through a lot with trying to get full custody from her parents I know I haven't been a friend much with everything that has been going on in my own life.

"Just nothing." I say.

"So when is the big day seeing as you are moving out. I can't believe you won't live here anymore. All the good times." She said. I gave her a look. Just don't go there.

"And the bad times. Don't worry Ash. We are passed that. Just wish things could have been different. So Spencer is one lucky lady to have caught you." she said. I can hear in her voice that she sounds sincere.

"Why don't you come have dinner at my new home? Kyla could really do with some company." I tell her.

Just the look tells me that even she knew about this whole thing. Her and Aiden.

"She told you."

"Yeah. Why didn't you though." I ask her.

"It's not my place to say anything to you Ash. So I am here to help you. I still can't get it out my mind how all this started. Been thinking a lot you know." She tells me.

"Blake it's been so long ago. Why do you still think about it?"

She went to go sit on the couch next to Jordan as she play with the toys she got from the corner that is now owned by her and her alone.

"You've been thinking to, I can tell." She says. As she plays with Jordan's pigtails twirling it. As the small girl try to pull her head back. Being frustrated by her mother's habit.

"How you know." I ask her. Knowing besides my twin reading my mind, Blake was once my best friend and we would read the others mind.

"Cause I know you the best. It ended here. And it also started here. But I know that you have found the one you want your forever with. And I am okay with that really. I am glad you met her. I just want to see you happy. And she is the only one who can do that." She says.

"Thanks. So you here to help me." I ask her as Jordan got off the couch and walkover to me.

"Aunty Ashwey can we still pway. Can I come pway with Hadwey." She asks me.

"Sure sweetie I bet she would like that a lot. If Mommy is okay with that." She turns around looking at Blake with biggest puppy eyes ever, that is my girl.

"Momma can I." she asks her mother. When she saw her mother taking to long she looks at me.

Just when I was about to say something I heard.

"Off course baby. If its okay with Spencer though."

"Its okay don't worry Blake. I will take good care of her."

"Yay!" I heard a happy three year old as she hugs her mother and went back to her toys.

"Ash are you okay with this." Why does she keep asking me?

"Yeah what's wrong?"

"Well you know how Spencer feels about Clarke and who knows me."

"She will never treat and innocent child bad over what her father did so many years ago and she has moved on we all have." I said. I could see that she wasn't too happy about Jordan being around Spencer but it shouldn't matter does it.

"I should go." She says as she stood up calling Jordan who was playing.

"Why?" I ask her.

"Nothing I just think you should pack on your own. I don't want to be in the way. Tell Ky I will call her later." With that she picked up the small girl and they left. That was really weird. But I couldn't be bothered right now I want to get done before Ky comes back so that we both can go over to my new house. Gosh I can't believe its been two month since I asked her to marry her right here in this living room.

_Flashback_

"_Ash?" I hear her call my name. I love hearing my name from her mouth._

"_Spence, when I was touring Australia and one day I came across this song I think it's an Australian band, but one night I told Tommy that I want to do a cover of this song and then it hit me." I kept quiet for a bit. I never though I'd be this nerves._

"_Ash?" _

"_Spence please let me get this out here." _

"_There are so many songs in this world that could sum up a relationship, whether its heartbreak, new found love or even lost love but the day I met you I knew that our love was meant to be." I pressed play and the words came out but I couldn't hear myself. Cause all I see is her._

_Maybe its intuition_

_But some things you just don't question_

_Like in your eyes_

_I see my future in an instant_

_And there it goes_

_I think ive found my best friend_

_I know that it might sound more than a little crazy_

_But I believe_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting all my life_

_I start moving slowly towards her as my eyes never leaves the prize in front of me._

_There's just no rhyme or reason_

_Only this sense of completion_

_And in your eyes _

_I see the missing pieces_

_I'm searching for_

_I think ive found my way home_

_I stopped right in front of her as I take both her hands in mine entwining them together fingers fitting each other perfectly. I could feel my tears burning as it falls down my cheeks, but isn't wasn't because I am sad __it's because I have found something, I have found my future._

_I know that it might sound more than a little crazy_

_But I believe_

_I stopped singing and let the music play in the background as I capture her lips. This is how I want it to be forever._

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting all my life_

_I leaned my forehead against hers as I continue to sing._

_A thousand angels dance around you _

_I am complete now that I've found you_

_We were standing there looking deep into each others eyes, brown_

_Locked__ onto the purest blue the _

_Most__ intense feeling that washed upon me. _

"_Ash?" I hear her say. But I kept singing until its was done. I moved out of the embrace as I walked back to the small table reaching for the velvety box._

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I think I dreamed you into life_

_I knew I loved you before I met you_

_I have been waiting for all my life_

_As the music fades I turn around and went down slowly on one Knee, the look on her face was priceless. I couldn't believe I was about to make her my wife. That I am about to ask her to marry me. I look up and reached for her hand._

"_Ash?"_

"_Please don't interrupt me." I was already all teary up cause of the big step I am taking. This is it Ash. It's now or never. Gosh I love this woman so much._

"_Spence, there is something that I have been meaning to ask you. I know that I am not the easiest person to deal with, and I can be willing to bet you that in life there will be many things that we will disagree on. All I can tell you is that I will try my hardest and do everything in my power to make you happy. That when I am not with you, I feel incomplete. Like there was this void in my life that only you and that unbelievable cute little blonde at home could seem to fill. I know that it isn't going to be easy to come into a home that has been functioning great on their own. I guess what I am trying to say Spence is that I would like nothing more than to be apart of that life. To show you and Hadley how much love I have to offer you. To be there for her, and show her that my life without her would be nothing. I am ready to take that next step in my life. Spence...... would you marry me? Please make me the happiest person in the world."_

_Seeing her taking so long, the fact that she had to think if she wanted me to be her forever._

"_Spence." _

"_Ash." _

"_Ashley. I …."_

"_No don't please don't do this please, don't stand there and make like …"_

"_I …" _

_I got up._

"_I am such an idiot to ever believe the day I would get the nerve to propose to someone and they just stand there looking at me like I grew another head."_

"_Ash please. Hear me out okay. Its not that I don't want to marry you but…" I could see her frustrations but here I was asking the woman I love to be with me forever._

"_No. why don't you just do me a favour. Leave me alone." I yelled back at her just when I was about to walk away. I felt her grab onto my arm._

"_I am not leaving you like this Ashley. Just yeah I want to marry you. But why rush into something." I couldn't believe this._

"_OMG! Spence I have been waiting for someone like you my whole life, does that song not say anything to you, well to me it does. Gosh? I love you. I love you so much that the thought of hearing you say no." I couldn't keep my tears in as it gotten out of hand. I was basically torn inside._

"_I didn't say no. I said it was too soon for us to take this next step."_

"_Well you hesitated Spence. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that beautiful girl but maybe you right this isn't going to work when you don't trust me being there for you. did you think my life was easy, my mother walked out of me when I was ten, she left me with my dad, she took the only person I have ever loved with her, now here we are and you doing the exact same thing she did, you are leaving me behind, the fact that you think that this is insane. Maybe the day you walked out my life was the worst thing you could've done but this…." I pointed my finger between the two of us._

"_This is even worse."_

"_Ashley can we go back and just forget about it for now." Her own tears were falling._

"_Please Ash I don't want to loose you I don't want you to one day wake up and regret me, regret Hadley for you wanting to marry so soon. I just got out a three year marriage a few months ago, why not wait."_

"_Cause then it would be to late, and why bring up your marriage okay." I tell her maybe I am being hard on her, but she must realise that it's her I love, she is the one I want to have a life with, how come I need to explain myself._

"_Okay." She said. This is when I told her what she means to me and how much it broke me when she left the first time._

"_When you left the first time it was hard getting over and remembers even before we started seeing each other I told you…_

"_Yes." I was still in that memory._

"_What?" I asked her._

"_YES! YES I WILL MARRY YOU ASHLEY DAVIES!" I walked closer to her as lift her up smiling tears still falling from both our eyes. I finally put her down as I went down on my knee once again. With the biggest smile on my face. I couldn't believe it. She was mine all mine._

"_I love you so much and I promise you from this day onwards you will never ever have to question my regrets, you and Hadley are my world there's nothing to regret about that."_

"_I promised that I will never let you go." I tell her._

"_Never." She says._

"_Never. Not when it feels this amazing." I reply kissing her._

"_I love you Ashley Davies." _

"_I love you too soon to be Mrs Davies." I had the biggest grin on my face as you can imagine the woman who I love just said yes to my proposal."_

_End of flashback_

"Going down on memory lane I see." I hear a voice. I turn around seeing her standing in my doorway. Or was my doorway. I walked over to where she was standing as I just stared deep into those blue eyes seeing the love in it. All for me. She is such a beauty.

I moved in as I pull her nearer to me. I couldn't wait to get home.

"Ash." I hear her call my name.

As I went for it. I sealed her with a kiss I captured her bottom lip trying to slide my tongue through it wasn't long when I found myself moving back towards the wall right in the lounge. Her one leg was pushed up against my centre I could feel the desire to have her.

"Spencer. Gosh I love you so much." I say into her mouth as she starts to move her lips to my neck all the way kissing and nipping here and there.

I didn't even know what was happening but she pull my shirt off just when I heard a

scream.

"Mommmyyyyyyyy No!" I heard. When I looked I saw Hadley standing there with big eyes. I had to chuckle at the look that was on her face. But I know that she wasn't mad at me or her mom because she had a smile on her face. We promised her we will behave but how can I when I have this hot blonde in front of me.

I pull myself from under Spencer as she has the most redden face you can find. It is just so funny I had to laugh at her.

"Why you laughing its not funny Ash." She tells me. I walked to towards my step daughter as I hug her.

"Hey bluey." I call her. I have come up with this nick name and it had stuck in my head. She just laughs whenever I call her that.

"You and mom should stop." She says. As she walks in the loft gathering some stuff her mother has given her to carry.

"Baby we can actually afford people to do this you know." I tell her.

"No Ash, we feel like helping I mean I bet Kyla isn't here to lend a hand."

She says. I don't know if I should tell Spencer I mean she is my soon to be wife and I don't want to keep anything from her but I also don't want to go behind my sisters back. I rather wait until its safe to tell her. I mean she has the right to know.

It took us almost another few hours to get all the boxes downstairs and into the van I have hired. To think the ASHLEY DAVIES is being all domestic. Gosh how much things have changed around here. How much my life has changed and it's all to thank to this beautiful lady sitting beside me on her couch well our couch.

This is what it must be like to be happy and in love. To have found something that is so amazing yet scary but I am done being scared cause I have found her. We have been through so much together and apart.

"I love you Spencer.' I tell as she laid here in my arms.

"I love you to Ash. I will always love you." she says.

With that we went back to watching the movie THE NOTEBOOK.

**AN: I think it was necessary to know Ashley's journey she has been on before she made the big step moving out and in with her fiancée. I just wanted to go back and show how she matured. Without just everyone telling her.**

**Hope you all enjoy**


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 48**

**Spencer's POV**

Two months later

Ashley and I have finally started to pick a date for our wedding. I was so excited for the whole planning of the most special day of both our lives. Kyla has been working a lot too lately. Ashley opened her own Record label and has offered Kyla to do the décor and everything. She even asks Hadley to draw some sketches for her. Every night she would come into our room asking Ashley if she like the drawing before she would show them to me. I feel left out when it comes to there on going conversations of Sponge Bob and his star fish friend, Ash has really been amazing when it comes to our daughter. She is mine and Aiden's but I want Ash to also be apart of the decision making when it comes to Had and our future kids.

Today at work I wasn't feeling all to good I must've picked up a bug from somewhere cause I have been vomiting this whole morning. No I am not pregnant, I doubt Ash has the right package to impregnate me.

It must be the sarmie I ate earlier for lunch.

I heard a knock at my door, just when I want to stand up from my chair I couldn't believe it. My own reflection was starring back at me. It's not possible. It can't be.

"Are you even going to invite me in or just stand there and look like you saw a ghost." Just the voice frightens me.

"Uhn. Yeah come on. Have a seat." She walked in starring at the walls. With all my book reviews best seller rewards and then her eyes landed onto the picture of myself Hadley and Ash. Just the look in her eyes gives me shivers of coldness.

"Well I see you have made yourself at home in this town. I can't believe you Spencer. Leaving your husband and family behind for this and that." She pointed to the picture with just my fiancée.

"That is my fiancée and I would like you to respect her and my decision. I am not a child anymore mother. So please respect the life I have been living." I told her. As she stares me down. Those blue eyes that I have and my little girl but hers are pure hatred towards my fiancée. She went to go sit down right in front of me.

"How is my granddaughter? I can't believe Aiden is supporting this hoax of a wedding. He should fight for you not attend this wedding." She yells out.

"Mother please Aiden and I am not ever going to be together. Accept that please. It's never going to happen and if you ever want to see your granddaughter are any future kids me and my soon to be wife will have you wont be included in there lives." I told her. I couldn't believe I am actually speaking my own.

"She's not good enough for you Spence. She will just hurt you. For crying out loud I won't stand by you dragging the Carlin name down. By marrying another woman. I won't let you if it's the last thing I have to do."

"You can't tell me what to do mother. You did it in the past with Patrick I wont let you do it again I wont.' My own tears start to fall.

"Well you got pregnant out of wedlock that alone is a sin in our church now you gay. Gay Spencer I didn't raise you this way. What message are you sending your daughter? If I was Aiden I will sue you for custody, I would help him if I had to see my granddaughter being raised by two lesbians." She shouldn't have said when I stood up and smacked my own mother right through her face. I couldn't stand the fact that she is actually trying to make me out to be an unfit mother and a sinner in front of my colleagues who can hear the yelling through the door. I heard a knock on the door and it was my Dad. He stood there as he saw my mother holding her face with tears in her eyes and I was sat down in my chair with my head in my hands I can't believe what I have done. I felt his strong arms pull me up from my position I was sitting as he holds me. My face was buried in his chest. I missed him so much. All this time I thought he would hate me like she does for choosing the life I had.

"It's going to be okay baby. I wish I could have protected you. I am not angry for what you have done but slapping your mother isn't the way to go sweaty you know that. I will talk with her." we didn't even realised we were alone when the door got banged close.

"I am sorry Daddy." I said. Crying even harder in his chest.

I know things in this family will be strain for quite some time but I won't stand by seeing her running my life like she did with both Patrick and Aiden."

I looked up to my dad as he wiped the tears that were still falling down my face. As he wipes them with his thumbs kissing me on my fore head.

"So when do I meet the woman who is making my baby girl and granddaughter the happiest ever. I want to meet her Spence. I won't let your mother do anything to come between you and her." I looked at him as I hugged him tight my head was placed on his chest. My dad was always the one who could reason with mom and he always took my side over my brothers are anyone else.

"And don't worry the Carlin name has already been injured years ago before you were born." He said hugging me even tighter.

It was a few minutes when I heard a soft knock and little feet I looked up and they both are standing in the doorway. The two people I love the most in this world. I looked at Ashley as she has this big smile on her face and her famous nose crinkle. Hadley ran towards my dad as he let go of me picking her up.

"Grandpa, you here. I miss you where is grandma. Is she here." That is Had for you always asking a lot of questions. She wriggled herself out my dad's arms as she ran over to where Ash still stood in the door as she takes her small hand and linked it with Ash's.

"Grandpa I want you to meet Ashley. Isn't she pretty." She said as all three of us start laughing.

"You sure do know how to pick em Spencer." My dad winked at me. I could feel myself getting flushed at that statement as I am sure Ash is enjoying this affection she has on me even when my dad is in the room.

He walked closer to Ash as she seemed a little nervous I start to laugh but not to hard because I know she will get me back. Just seeing her face makes everything my mom just said seem miles away and far away out my mind.

"Ashley Davies, it's an honour to meet you. I have heard a lot about you." she looks at me and I looked at Hadley.

"Well just so you know you are making both my girls happy and I couldn't have asked for more. I have seen Spencer miserable for that time she came back and I knew her heart were somewhere else, with someone else. Believe me I wasn't too fond of the idea of my daughter being gay but I came to accept it because she is happy and you make her happy. So welcome to my family Miss Davies." I was speechless with dad's little speech.

"Thank you Mr Carlin I promise you I am going to do the best job keeping both my girls happy I love Spencer and I love Hadley like she is my own." She said as I can see Ash is about to cry.

"Call me Arthur." He said pulling her into him. Can't mom accept this?

"Dad what about mom she isn't going to leave it as it is." I tell him.

"Leave her for me, she is my wife and I will talk with her." he said.

Ash looks at me as she wants to know what has been happening since she was gone.

"Spence what is happening with your mom. Did she do or say something to make you sad." She ask me as she came over and holding me, I couldn't keep my tears in any longer.

When I heard.

"Spence I will give you guys time to talk I am taking my granddaughter for ice cream and to see your mother." Then they walked out as I walked over to my couch in the office with Ash a few steps behind me. That is the good part of having her she is there whenever I need her, she could feel my pain when we are apart.

I was sat down on the couch as she sat down to and taking my head laid into her lap as she slowly stroke her fingers through my hair scratching at my scalp I love when she does that. It's the only way to get me to calm down.

"Baby please let me in; tell me what she said to make you this upset. Cause I will go after her I told you before I will protect you." I knew she would go after mom but I can't have my mother and fiancée fight over this.

"Please Spencer I won't do anything to hurt the old hag." She says.

"Calling her names won't help either. Its just she said something about you and that she is going to do everything in her power to help Aid get custody of my daughter I cant let them take her away." I said as I feel my tears becoming more and more. Just thinking about losing Hadley will kill me.

"Did you forget your fiancée is still and attorney and that my dad has the best qualified attorneys and lawyers who we can get to fight her and what does Aiden got to do with this? He has no say. He's not even her real father." I stood up from her lap when I heard that.

"What? His been her father since she was two years old. He is her dad in her eyes that is her father I can't believe you would even say that to me out loud. What if Had heard you now. Then what huh." I stood up completely from the couch as I see her get up as well.

"Spence. Baby I am so sorry I didn't mean to say that. You know I respect that guy and all but his not over you." I can't believe this.

"What you mean because we share a child you want to tell me Aiden is still in love with me. Are you hearing yourself?" I said back.

"Why don't you see what is in front of you. Why do you always have to protect his feelings over mine? Do you think it is easy to know my soon to be wife isn't over her ex husband." She yells back at me. How did this become from me and my mom to me and Aiden and the fact that I am not over him. Is she mad or something.

"Ash if I wasn't over him, then would we be here together planning for our wedding. Would I make all this sacrifice to be with you." I replied.

"I don't want to be a sacrifice you have to make to be with. I never asked you to cut your family out your life. Cause I could care shit about anybody and there thoughts about me. It's you and Hadley I care about. And to leave with something to think. Your ex husband Aiden and my sister had a history so there you go bye." With that she left my office and that was the beginning of another heartbreak. Off another thing I do. Why do I keep pushing people I love away from me? I can't loose her then why did you have to be a jerk Spencer. Now its you have to fix this.

I didn't wait long when I opened up my office door seeing people in the office starring as I ran towards the elevator just when she got in I got in with her. She had tears coming down those beautiful hazel brown eyes. I just stood there as she was crying I didn't know what to say. When I pushed the emergency stop button in the elevator grabbing her towards me.

She laid her head on my chest. As the hurt coming from her was unbearable.

"Ash baby I didn't mean to overreact that way. But you have to understand that he is apart of our lives whether we like it or not." I say.

"But he doesn't have to be in ours. Yes his father I can't change that. But let him be in her life not ours." She said. Her eyes were sparkling of the tears that sat in the corners.

"Baby I know. I know that it's wrong of me to let him stay with me the last time I just thought I did the right thing where Had is concern. I mean what do I say and tell her your father can't come here."

"I am not saying that I don't want him coming over it's just how you would like it I had Blake staying at my loft without telling you she is staying there. Think about what this is doing to me, to us. And for your mother I don't care about her. yeah she is your mother and I know you love her but for how long are you going to let her walk all over you. She is just like my mother. And that is why I cut her out." She said. With broken voice. I could hear both sadness and venom coming from her.

"She is Hadley's grandmother I cant cut her out completely whatever she has planned she wont get it right. We have dad on our side. So please understand me. I am not going to fight with you. I love you Ashley and I can't stand the thought of losing you." I said to her. As I wiped the tears falling down her face.

"Okay but never treat me like that again I am not a child Spencer I want to be there for you but you have to let me in for me to help you." she says as she takes out her compact from her Gucci bag. She reapplied her make up and lipstick as she pulled out her huge DG sunglasses whenever she has those ones on she looks so fucking hot.

"I know you want me but not now I have to get back to the studio I only came to drop off Hadley." With that she presses the stop button to on. As she gave me that smile I love but before she got to far out the elevator.

"Ash what about Kyla and Aiden." She just smiled and said.

"Will tell you when you get home. I love you." she said.

"Love you too." I said as I walk to the front of the building seeing my parents with Hadley sitting there. I stood standing there not too far. How can anyone think of being so cruel taking my daughter away from her mother and home?

I was still stood in my own thoughts when I heard.

"Hey Spencer." I turn around and saw someone I haven't seen in quite sometime even though we work in the same building.

He looked really older then the last time I saw him.

"Hey Clarke how are you." I ask him.

"Not so good. I don't know if Ash told you but Blake is planning on leaving with our daughter to London. She applied for a job there since she won the court battle getting custody over Jordan. What am I going to do." I couldn't believe he was crying and how dare Blake do this to him.

"No Ash hasn't said a thing to me. I am sorry Clarke. I know you love your daughter." Just that moment I turn away looking at Hadley playing with my dad. I don't think any parent would ever get over losing a child. Like I lost my son.

"Spence are you still with me." I turn to face him.

"Yeah I was just thinking." I saw a small smile tug at his lips.

"Well I can see things haven't changed much, so when is the big day. Who is that people with Hadley." We both stare at the three people sitting and talking with the little girl.

"That is my dad and my mother they just came in today." I tell him.

"Are you going to introduce me? I have to at least thank the woman who brought you in this world." I hit him on the arm.

"Ouch what is that for."

"You being a pig. I am taken. And no I wont introduce you." I think I spoke to soon when my mother came over seeing me speaking to a guy.

"Spencer aren't you going to introduce your mother." I stared at her for quite sometime when Clarke took it upon himself to introduce him to my mom.

"I am a good friend of Spencer. You have a very talented daughter Mrs Carlin." He said. I could see him trying to charm himself to be liked by my mother.

"How come you don't date him, he seems nice." I rolled my eyes at her. OMG. Does this woman not get it?

"Please mother not here in front of everyone. We can chat tonight. Not now." And with that I walked over to my dad as he gave me this concern look. It was almost time to go home and be with my fiancée and daughter all alone.

"Dad just take her to your hotel please we can have dinner later at my house. Or I can ask Kyla to look after Hadley tonight." I tell him as I hug him goodbye and take Hadley's hand back to the elevator as I stood in there seeing my mother talking to Clarke and my dad finding it relentless to get her attention to leave well alone. Sometimes I wish I could've chosen my family but I cant I am stuck with a homophobic mother and an ex husband who knew my soon to be sister in law. All these secrets I don't know what to expect next.

Blake leaving another suspicion I wonder why. And why now.

"Mommy when we get home can I play with my new game Ashley bought me today." She asks me. She is so innocent in all this but yet she makes everything seem okay.

"Yes baby but not to late okay." I tell her.

"Yay. I can't wait to show Jordan my new game." The two girls have really gotten close these days. Everything Jordan see's Had does she does the same. Whenever I see Ashley with Jordan and the way she is with her I can see that deep down Ashley wants to be a mother. The fact that she helped raised that little girl and the fact she called her momma at a time. I can't help but feel jealous sometimes. I know it's wrong to be that way. But I want Ash to have that with me. And maybe we will have a little one of our own soon.


	50. Chapter 50

**AN: **_Happy Holidays to EVERYONE I hope you had a great day with your family and friends._

_Well I know it has been along time since I have updated so here is a gift to you all. I am going to get busy and update again. I hope all my readers haven't left me yet._

_Thanks for all your reviews and dedication to this story it means a lot to know I am still on the right path and still writing your favourite fan fic._

_Enjoy_

**Chapter 49**

**Ashley's POV**

I can't believe Spencer's mom is such a bitch. I hear myself saying not hearing anyone else.

"That bitch is your soon to be mother in law." I turn around and saw my redhead friend standing there.

"Blake what you doing here. And yes she is but when has any of my girl friends mother loved me." I tell her with a smile on my face.

"Oh, don't lie; I believe my mother wanted to adopt you once from your dad, seeing as her own daughter seems to disappoint her a lot. She loved you Ash."

"Yes. Mrs Taylor was great, I loved her like a mom to, just I didn't like what she did with you and Jordan but I guess she knew how to make you grow up." I said laughing. It amazing how things between me and Blake never changed, just we don't sleep together anymore, not like I miss it any way. Spencer is all the woman I need.

"Hahaha, funny Ash, or shall I say Ashwey." Blake could never exactly say anyone's name correct.

"How you doing Blake, any new love interest." I say as I went to go sit on my plush chair and she follows me to sit on the opposite one.

"So I take the meeting with the in laws didn't go so well for you."

"Haven't exactly meet them, just the dad he seem cool and all, but I am just worried about Spence, she and her mother don't get along." I tell her, I know I shouldn't but she is my best friend we've told each other everything since we were little.

"Reminds you of someone we both know." She asks me.

"Yeah my mother."

"Have you heard of her? I mean her and your dad they still married right."

"Unfortunately yes. I don't know why they just get a divorce and go there separate ways. She is more gone then at home, dad spends all his time at his office and playing the guitar." I tell her. I know dad miss being a musician. Singing it's his life. Or were his life before mom.

"Why don't he just go back to his music." She stopped I can see something was busy cooking in that pretty head of hers. Her eyes will grow big then I know.

"Why don't you hire your dad? Or why not do a duet together."

"I don't know Blake dad has been out of the business for over a decade now. I doubt he would go for that."

"Ash, remember when we were little you always said you wanted to sing with your dad. You said you wish you could sing and be able to show your dad you can sing. So I said you never know you might have his talent." I can't believe she remembered all this time. I did say I wish I could.

"There was even a song Ash. Your dad use to sing it. And you would sing along to the words he wrote in your notebook. What was it called something about hold? Do you remember." I think I do.

"I think I do. It was Hold On. I use to play it over and over and daddy would sing it at every concert as his encore." I started to get a memory.

_Flashback:_

_I was six years old it was my first time in an Arena. Mom and Kyla went to New York for the weekend and daddy had to play in Missouri. I wasn't going to stay at Mrs Taylors neither did Blake, she came with us. Her parents loved my dad and would always send there daughter with._

_I remember flying out in the plane it was both our first time._

"_Ashwey your daddy is the best. Can't he be mine too?" She says. I could see her one front tooth out in the middle now her speech is even funnier. I just laughed at her._

"_Ouch!" I said as she punched me against the arm._

_I rub the part she hit me as I went on looking outside the small window._

"_I think Kywa will have a fit day when you steal her daddy." I said as I turn to face my friend._

"_Then why isn't she here?" she ask me._

"_Mom?" it's all I said._

_Mom kept me and Kyla apart at times and my dad didn't like it much. I mean she is my twin sister. Mom kept saying cant you be like your sister Ash. She is more girly then you are._

_Well I am like my dad. I tell her. I wana sing like daddy. I don't need to be girly when I wana be a rock star._

_I shouldn't have said that when she smacked me right through my face. I ran away that day and ended up at the Taylors. Blake's mom called my dad and they fought once again. I stayed with Blake them till my dad came to fetch me._

"_Ashwey she can't hurt you. I will protect you, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die." I hear Blake said. As tears start to fill my brown eyes. I felt her hug me as I press my head in the crook of my best friend's neck._

"_Thank you Blakey. I love you forever and always." I tell her. _

_We both pulled away as she stare at me for quite sometime then went back to playing with her dolls. _

"_Are you girls okay here? I brought you both some snacks." My dad came into the cabin where me and Blake were playing in._

"_Mr Davies thank you for letting me come with." She says to my dad as she walks up to him hugging him tight around his neck. I know daddy misses Kyla but he tends to not make it known._

"_Well who will keep my rock princess company, and she would have cried all the way here not having her Blakey close by." He says smiling._

"_Daddy NO!" I said as I hide my face with the blankie I brought with. It's not mine its Kyla's._

"_Oh Ashwey." She says as she stuck her tongue out._

"_Well girls we about to land so I just came to fasten your seatbelts and sat with you. I know its both your first but you two are brave little girls." He said. As he fastens Blake's first then mine. Sitting next to me._

_It wasn't long until we stepped inside of the arena. It was huge. My dad was lead to the back stage with me and Kyla; I mean me and Blake both attached to his hand. My daddy is awesome. I want to be like him when I grow up._

_Me and Blake was sat in the VIP room with a baby sitter, I think she was hired by my dad._

_She seems nice though._

"_So Ashley what do you want to be when you grown up." I thought a lil then stared at Blake._

"_I wana kiss her." I tell the girl she just laughed at me and Blake had a red face, I think she blushed are something._

"_I meant career. Like your dad is a rock star what do you want to be, besides kissing her." she said to me._

"_A rock star." I said._

"_Yeah Ashwey is going to be a rock star and I will play the drums." All three of us start to laugh as it got to the end of the show._

_We had a big screen Plasma in the room as the camera was facing my dad._

"_Well this song goes out to a special little girl. She is my rock princess, I knew the day I held her in my arms that I will never be able to let go. So I wrote her this song it's called HOLD ON. This is for you Ashley. I love you so much." My dad._

_**Spent your life searching**_

_**Waiting in line**_

_**I know you're holding on**_

_**To what you can find**_

_**When the light is fading**_

_**And it's hard to see**_

_**I hope you know**_

_**You're still a part of me**_

_**So hold on**_

_**Hold on to me**_

_**Hold on**_

_**Hold on to me**_

_Seeing my dad up there was awesome._

"_Blakey I wana sing that song with my daddy one day." I tell her smiling as she comes over to me hugging me and kissing me on my cheek._

"_I wana kiss you to one day." The lady who was watching us was laughing._

_But I never knew her name. I didn't ask her name._

"_What is your name." I ask her. She was blonde with blue eyes._

"_Paula." And just then she walked out of the room. _

_Dad came back and I never saw that girl again._

_End of Flashback_

"Ashleyyyyyyy!!!!!" I here Blake call at me.

"What?" I ask her.

"Did you have a day dream of you and Spencer I so don't wana know the details of it." she says pulling her face.

"More like a memory to when we were six and went with my Dad." I tell her she smiled.

"Yeah, so that song you going to sing it with your dad. That would be great Ash. He loves you. And plus he wrote it for you." but it was something else that triggered my mind more that lady.

"Blake do you remember that girl who looked after us that day."

"Yeah she laughed because you said you want to kiss me." she said.

"Yes I know but not that. Her name is Paula right." Blake nods her head not knowing what I am on about.

Well I don't even know myself what I am on about. But why did that name all of a sudden stick in my memory and why do her blonde and blue eyes seem so familiar now. What does this mean?

"Ash you are over thinking to much. It means nothing." She said. I can see that Blake is starting to get irritated by me now.

"So you never told me why you are here any way." I ask her.

"Well I am leaving. Me and Jordan I got a job in London I am moving Ash." She said.

"What? Why? You suppose to be my best woman." I tell her. I knew that was going a bit too far. Asking her to be in my wedding.

"Ashley I can't stay here anymore it gets harder and harder to see you happy with her, and with Hadley. I just can't. I also can't say I don't love you because I do. I never stopped Ash." She starts to sound sadder as tears fall from her eyes.

"Blake." I say. As I want to walk closer and hug her. Just like she use to do.

"No Ashley. Don't please. Just don't come any closer it's hard enough not having you as more then a friend. I kept my feelings to myself but I can't anymore."

"Blake." I said one more time.

"Did you ever love me? Like you love her." she asks me.

"I love you, you know that." I tell her, but I know deep down it's not the answer she is looking for.

"No I don't mean as a friend. We dated 8 years. Did you ever feel like you want to have your forever with me, raising a family? Love me unconditionally. I loved you since we were six years old." She said.

"I love you too. There was a time I was in love with you Blake, but you knew we were never meant to be forever. We are to much the same. We treated each other like crap. It's different with her." I tell her. Gosh how bad can this get. I am about to loose her forever I can feel it.

It wasn't long when I felt her next to me, it didn't take me long to realise she was caressing my face as she scan my face, my eyebrows, my nose, my cheeks. Its then when I saw her lean in closer, and closer until I felt her tongue against my lips. I couldn't move. I couldn't push her away from me. I know that this is wrong. That I have a fiancée, a daughter. I am getting married. But as I am telling myself all these things I felt my body pushed into the chair as Blake was on top of me, kissing me, as my own lips open and let her tongue slide right through my lips. I didn't kiss back but it felt like something I have missed for along time. I can't cheat. I can't let this get any further. But I can't seem to stop when my own fingers were running through her hair. I felt her sucking on my tongue. Just when her knee hit between my legs pushing into it hard. I pushed her off of me.

"What a fuck Blake." I got off from the chair as she was still sat there on the other side looking down.

"I am sorry. I got carried away by your beauty. You so beautiful Ashley." She says.

"Blake I cant do this with you. Gosh I shouldn't have kissed you back." I felt a pang through my chest realising I just cheated on my fiancée. Do I tell her?

"Did you like? It must've felt good Ash. Because it brought memories back for me. The way you use to kiss me. The way you get carried away. We can be that way again Ash." I know it's hard for her.

"Blake I love Spencer. I am marrying her in a week. I think its best you go now."

"Ash."

"Go, Blake." And she got up and walked out the door. Not turning back. I need to face Spencer and her parents. How will I be able to tell her what I did with Blake, will she love me still. Will she marry me still? Why do I keep hurting the people I love. Fuck I am just like my mother. Like mother like daughter.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 50 **

**Spencer's POV**

_What hurts the most is being so close to her and having so much to say to her. And watching her walking away, and never knowing if she ever felt the same about me._

I listen to this intro every time and every time it gets me. I can't believe how much I have hurt her and how much I have hurt myself in believing that I could just walk away from her and not be able to feel her next to me ever again. I have been struggling to get hold of Ash and Kyla for hours now. My parents are on there way for dinner and Ashley has yet to arrive I wonder what is taking her so long.

I hope she isn't still upset about what happened at the office, even though I am happy to see my parents I wished they never came down to L.A. knowing Paula I know she has got something plan to make my life a living hell like she normally does.

Why can't mom be more like Christine she does not bother us in any way. She is no threat to our family but yet Paula has to make everything about her.

When I was born my parents lived in a small house down in Missouri, mom did baby sitting as often as she could to help get us fed and clothed. Dad work at a Youth centre that is how he got into counselling young people and that is how he started to build his own office from scratch to get us all settled and mom to go back to school and finish medical school.

I remember mom telling me and Glen she was to look after some rock star's brats like she said but she didn't know who the rock star were or the kids. I remember that day mom showed us all the money she made from just watching after two girls for less then two hours. I was more interested in playing with my dolls then listening to what mom said. That was also the last night in Missouri as we packed up and moved to Ohio where my parents were originally from.

I turned around and stare at the timer on the microwave it's almost six and Ashley isn't here. Maybe something happened to her. She should have been here already. Just when I went to grab the phone I heard voices inside the living room.

"Ash! You here." I hear my little girl call out to what seems my fiancée. I wonder what happened to her. As I watched the entrance to the kitchen I could see her reflection on the wall as I know she is coming towards the kitchen.

She stood between the entry way and leaning against the far end cupboard that was inside of the passage with Hadley tagging along.

I looked at Ash, she seem to have this faraway look on her face. I hope she will be okay with Paula coming for dinner. It should go well so I hope.

"Ashley are you okay." I asked her.

She didn't reply back when I see Hadley doing the same.

"Mama." She says. Both me and Ashley stare at each other. But the look on her face doesn't seem to take in what is happening. The fact that Hadley has just called her mama. I knew she was going to start getting attach to Ash I mean who wouldn't right she is amazing. She will be an amazing mother one day.

"Ashley! ASHLEY!" I yell more. Hadley gave me a look that wasn't approving of my yelling.

"Mom is she okay." Hadley asks me. I walked closer as I notice that tears are starting to form in the blue eyed girl's eyes. As I bent to hold Hadley. Ash turned around and walked into the living room. I don't know what is going on with her but this has something to do with my mother. Or Aiden. Gosh I don't know. I can't read Ash sometimes.

"Baby why don't you go watch SpongeBob in mommy's room okay, I will call you as soon as grandpa arrives." She nods her head as both our eyes followed the direction Ashley has just left.

I walked her to my room as I closed it real tight because now Ash is going to get what is coming; nobody treats my child like that.

I walked closer to the living room when I heard crying. It came from my beautiful fiancée sitting there on the floor crying as she holds a picture of Hadley close to her.

I walked closer as I sat right next to her. I was afraid to touch her just now she flinches and walk out and I don't want that. I don't want to fight with her anymore.

I slowly but carefully put my hand on her shoulder. Just when I did that she turned her face slightly and what I saw brought my own tears down. Its not always I see her like this.

She placed her face in the crook of my neck. We haven't been this close in a few days now.

"Ashley, you know you can talk to me. Please baby let me in." I tell her. As I gently play with the loose strands of her hair that was hanging loosely out her ponytail.

"Ashley did something happen between you and Kyla, cause I couldn't get hold of her today." I asked again. She was still crying. As she lift her head out my neck and wiping her own tears. I caught her hand as I tangled her fingers with mine.

"You can tell me anything. I love you baby." Saying that made the tears turn into louder cries as she grabbed onto my blouse in her fist.

"Sp(crying)Spen(crying)" she said but I couldn't make out.

"Its okay baby. I am here I am not letting go ever. Tell me what is bothering you." I asked hopefully the last time. I know this must be something hard for her.

"Spence (crying) I (crying)" she didn't finish.

"Its okay baby if you can't talk now maybe we should wait after my parents leave." That is when she jumped up and walked straight towards the bathroom.

I walked to the close door as I hear the tap running and Ashley's cries slowly dissipate. I turned around as my back hit the door just when Hadley came out our room. She stood in front of me as she wipes the tears that have fallen from my eyes.

"I love you mommy and Ashley loves you too." She says as she kisses me on the cheek. Just before she walks away I look up to the door and said.

"We love you to honey very much." And with that she smiled and walked to the living room.

I stood up and left Ashley to let whatever bothers her go away on its own. But deep down I have a feeling something or someone must be the reason for her behaviour.

I am so in love with this woman. And nobody will ever change that.

**AN: I dedicate this to a special friend of mine Meka.**

**I will follow up with The Carlins coming for dinner, Ash will confess hopefully and poor Hadley just wanted Ash as her mama. Lets hope Ash apologise for her behaviour.**

**Pls Review.**

_I kind of feel just like Ash when I wrote this chapter. _

_SONG: What Hurts The Most_


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 51**

**Ashley's POV**

I couldn't believe that I was a coward to tell Spence what really happened this afternoon with Blake in my studio. I also can't believe she called me mama, she must've not known she called me that. On the other side of the door I heard Spencer telling Hadley that we both loved her very much and I did. I do love her like she is my own child.

But isn't this all too soon. One minute my ex girl friend is telling me that she is still in love with me, next I feel her push into me as she leaned against me and kiss me.

What was I thinking reacting to the kiss why didn't I just push her away the minute she came on to me?

Fuck this isn't going to go nice at all, with Mr and Mrs Carlin showing up for dinner as well. I will just wait till after they leave. Okay Ash you can do this. You have to get through this dinner for Spencer's sake.

I walked towards the door as my hand reached the doorknob I felt another person pulling it from the other side. Just when I open the door I saw my own reflection looking back at me. As those same brown eyes wasn't at all to please with something. She yanked me back into the bathroom shutting it behind her with a click making sure it's locked.

"Well hello Ms Davies." I hear her say. Like she isn't one too.

"Well hello to you too Ms Davies. What the fuck is going on with you." she yells at me as I placed my hand over her mouth.

"Are you insane Spencer's parents could be here already." I tell her.

"Yes I know they inside my sister in law just called me an hour ago telling me to come find out what is wrong with you. She thought we might've had an argument. But we both know what happened right Ash. I thought you were done with your shit now that you practically got a family." She says in an accusing voice.

"Ky nothing happened." I tell her.

"Not what I have heard you know. I saw her Ash. She is about to pack up and leave." I just tuned Kyla out. Whenever she comes with her lectures. I am so sick of everyone that is blaming me for things I haven't started. Yeah I know what happened was so wrong on so many levels. But it's an innocent mistake that I know I will never commit.

"You got to tell Spencer, Ashley. Start your new life without lies." She says to me. It was long when I heard a small knock on the bathroom door.

"Ky we can talk later when this dinner is over." I tell her.

I open the door one last time. As I can hear voices from inside the living room.

But it's the person waiting outside that caught my eye. I turn around to tell Kyla to wait for me in the living room with the others because I need to apologise to her before we move on with this night.

"Baby can I talk to you for a minute." I asked her as she holds out her hand as I take it. Her small hand in mine as we walked towards her room. Out of the corner of my eye I can see my fiancée looking towards us as she gives me a sad smile. I smile back with same one she gave me as I lift Hadley's hand to her and open her door. Inside the pink room were scattered more SpongeBob toys then anything else.

She grabs her SpongeBob doll I bought her not too long ago as she passes it to me.

"You can hold him, he always make me feel better when I am sad." She tells me.

"Baby why are you sad." I asked her. I didn't know she gets sad sometimes. I have been so busy with my own issues and with the wedding that I don't take time out my busy schedule to ask her how she is feeling.

She looks at me with the same eyes her mother is walking around with. I couldn't tear my own eyes away from there blue's. It's something I can get lost in. I always wanted our children and hopefully our future kids to look like there mother.

"Just sometimes when I miss daddy or Avery. I haven't seen her since we came to live here. Only when I was at daddy for the holidays." She tells me. As she held's my hand.

I brush strain hair that was in her face.

"Do you want me to talk with mommy and arrange for her to come visit." I ask her. I know that Spencer has away of cutting certain things of her pass out, but she should consider her daughter in all this. It made me think what Aiden told me once.

"_Spencer never deals well with pain, she doesn't face it and she push those who love her away." I recalled this words he told me so long time ago._

Even though I know I don't have a right to judge her or hold anything against Spence. Cause I am holding a secret from her. It will have to be dealt with. Maybe this should also wait for after dinner. So much drama surrounding my family, can we ever just be normal without outsider's presence.

"Hadley the reason I wanted to talk with you honey, its about my behaviour earlier on I had no right to have just walked out on both you and mommy." She was sitting attentively listening to every word.

"I know mama." She said. I don't think she realised she used the word mama twice. I could feel tears burning in my eyes. As I held her close to my chest. I picked her up as she sat on my lap.

"Baby do you know you called me mama twice today." She pulls slightly away from me as her small hands were caressing my cheek. SpongeBob was laying somewhere on the bed.

"I know. I wanted to ask if you can be my mama too. I love you." she said as she leaned forward and kissed me on the left cheek and hugged me tightly around the neck. I had both my arms around her small form.

"I will be delighted to be your mama. You the best daughter I could've asked for. But what about mommy baby did you asked her if its okay." She pulls away as we both hear a voice we both love so very much.

In the doorway were the mother of my daughter and also my wife to be. With her own tears streaming down her face.

"Spence I am sorry. I know it's your choice." She walks closer to both me and Hadley. As her fore finger were pressed on my lips.

"Ash, baby I told you I love you. I want both my girls to be happy. I was just as surprised as you were. Even earlier when she called you mama. I love the sound of us raising Had as our daughter. I love both my girls so very much." She says. As Spencer sat down next to us. Her body facing me with Hadley in between us.

She looks at the two of us and said.

"We a family mommy." She says. Her curls tickling my neck.

"Hadley will you give me and mommy sometime alone. Aunt Kyla is inside let her dish you out some food baby." She wasn't to happy as I could see a small pout starting to form.

I know that we have people, seeing as we both here, I might as well tell Spencer what happened between me and Blake. But with the Carlins sitting in my living room. I hope this isn't the wrong decision I am about to make.

I smile at Hadley as she hugs both her mother and me and off the little blonde goes. She closed the door behind her calling her aunt to get her food. That little one just knows how to get Kyla to do her bid. She and Jordan. Just thinking about the fact that I won't see that little girl anymore breaks my heart to pieces.

"Ashley. My parents are inside why we don't wait until they gone. I have a feeling that whatever is troubling you is big and it might be best we wait. Don't you think." I know it would be much better to wait but the guilt of kissing Blake is really not sitting well with me right now.

"Spencer I really want to get this off my chest but maybe you right let's get this dinner over and then talk. I need to talk with you before this night ends." She looks at me cautiously.

She took awhile to finally say.

"Okay." She got up from Hadley's bed as she held out her hand just like Hadley has done not too long ago. I take the welcoming hand as she squeezes it.

I got up after her. But as she moves away I pull her back in my grasp holding onto both her sides. As I slowly slide my fingers down her waist.

I haven't kissed her since the elevator incident. I moved closer to her as I can feel my own heart beating faster in my chest.

It was then that I felt her lips on mine. I waited for this so long I needed to feel more of her as I pulled her closer as my hands turn into fist holding onto her shirt she had on.

It was the most amazing kiss I have ever had in a long time, nothing and no one's kisses compare to my fiancée her beauty is staggering. Her lips was pressed on mine as my tongue were asking for entrance, it didn't take long for her to welcome me in her mouth as I let my tongue explore every part of her cavern. Feeling her close, feeling her in my embrace, feeling our hearts beat as one. Was the most intimate we've had? The kiss went deeper as her fingers were tangled in my hair. I could help but wanting more of her. I pull her into the empty room as I close the door behind her. Pushing her up the back of the bedroom door.

I know that she herself don't want to stop now. Cause she is moaning into my mouth and that just spurs me on more to take this even further then it should go.

My hands slowly moved down her shirt as I got the first button, she weren't stopping me so I went on as I start kissing up her neck nibbling here and there as she throws her head on my shoulder.

I could feel her breathing getting heavier from the make out we just had.

"Ash." I here her say so softly. It sounds like a sweet melody in my ears. Making me shiver right through my clit.

"Spence I got to feel you baby. It's been so long. I want you. I want you now." I say as I kiss her with more force and passion taking control of the moment as I successfully got all the buttons undone without ripping any of her shirt. It takes years of practice to be so smooth.

I slowly pull away.

"Spence." I call out. She looks at me as her blue eyes were now even darker with arousal.

"Please Ash. You can't stop now." She says. I can't believe I am about to get lucky with my fiancée with a house full of people in.

"Are you sure. With everyone inside. We both know you are not the quiet type." I tell her as she gives me a scary look.

"I know how to control myself. I will just bite you." she says laughing that sexy laugh I love so much. Just that made my mind up.

As I pull her dress up towards her thighs. I bend down as I keep the dress up with my one hand and slowly letting her panty down her thighs and legs smelling her arousal as the tip of my nose press against her clit. Pressing harder in it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

"Fuck Spence you so wet baby." I tell her. I look up to her as her one leg was thrown over my shoulder her eyes closed. As I found her opening with my wet tongue sliding smoothly into the softness of my fiancée pussy. I found the clit with my tongue as I was sucking on it and pulling the nerve into my mouth tasting her on the tip of my tongue. Wanting more I placed my tongue into her hole. Moving around in it.

"Ash. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." She was so clever not to make any loud noises are yelling anything out. My girl knows how to cover up but I know just where to get the g spot. It didn't even take me that long when I heard she was near climax. It wasn't long when I felt my tongue being tightened by her walls as I could taste her cum on my tongue and all over my mouth. Another few minutes and my baby were spent. Her legs gave in as I caught her just in time when I got up and took the panty completely off.

"You okay baby." I ask her. But she was quiet. I let her down on the bed as I told her to take some time before she makes her presence known.

"I can't believe we just did that." She tells me few minutes later when I got her panty in my jeans pocket.

"I can't believe you were that quiet." I say back. I slowly open the door. Seeing if the wall way was clear so she could run to our room and get clean up. Sure enough the passage was clear no sound coming from the living room. I wonder if we were that loud.

"Spence it seems to be quiet in there now." I tell her as she lay there smiling.

I walked towards the bed as I pull her up. Holding her in place as she walks out the room in to our room. I went for the bathroom in the far back to get myself cleaned up. It was awhile later I return and saw that there was nobody in the living room. I got to the kitchen nobody there either. I saw a note sticking out on the far end of the kitchen counter. I picked it up and slowly read over the words.

_**Dear Guys**_

_**I took Hadley over to my place for the night sorry but I didn't want to disturb you two. Mrs & Mr Carlin left after waiting to long her mother said she should call whenever you guys have a free minute.**_

_**I love you both**_

_**Kyla**_

I didn't hear her coming in behind me as she had both her arms around my waist I lean into her hold onto me.

"Seems like my sister took our kid for the night and you must call your parents." Spencer looks at me as she pulls away.

"Do…do you…think they heard us." she asked in a panicky tone.

"I don't know babe. But it was good. We can go for round two." I say.

Just saying that she gave me a smack on the arm walking towards the microwave. Probably to warm up some food. I know just the food I want now. I am not full yet.

"Ash please shut your perverted mind." She says. Smiling at me.

"Okay but it's your lost." I tell her smiling back. I walk up to her kissing her shoulder.

"So about that talk you wanted." that is when I stopped the nibbling on her shoulder as she turns around and brown locked blue.

"What now?" I ask her. She nods her head. As she walks into the living room. I knew not to stall are I will give her time to run that mind of her. Knowing I can't stop myself from telling her it has to come out.

Everything was going okay now my heart sits in my throat as I am trying to find my voice.

"Ash. Right now." She says.

"Oh okay.' I say. I can feel my hands getting clammy as I can feel a warm sweat coat my forehead.

"Ashley are you okay. Baby you don't have to if its something you don't want to share but I can see that its been troubling you since you got home." I knew she can see threw me. But how do you tell the one person you love with everything that you are, that you have kissed another woman. Another woman that is none other then my ex girl friend.

But before I can answer she said.

"Is this about Blake?"

"What?" I asked. Stunned for her to bring her name up.

"Clarke told me she is leaving. Did you know." She asked me. You can't lie about this Ash. You know that it has something to do with Blake.

"Ashley!" she yells.

"No I only found out early today." I tell her.

That wasn't a lie.

"Is this why you been acting this way cause you losing her for good." She asked me.

"Spence. Please."

"No just tell me already what is going on here." Tears were falling and I was lost in my own thoughts.

"I.."I stopped.

"Ashley dam nit just tell me did you and Blake. Oh Gosh." Her hand was over her mouth as I knew that she is thinking all sorts of things.

"Spence, it's not what you think please I love you not her. I told you that day in my loft its you I want not her." I moved closer to her. As she moved away.

"Please don't tell me you love me. We just had sex." Then she stopped talking. She walked away from me completely.

"Spencer don't be stupid okay, nothing happened that you are thinking right now." I tell her as I grab both her hands in mine. She wasn't looking at me but to the floor.

"Just tell me what got you so upset today. Just please let me and make me understand it's all I am asking of you." she says.

Slowly she lifts her head up and looks into my eyes.

"Okay I will tell you. Early today Blake came into the studio she told me that she was leaving for your Europe because she got a job there. Not long she confessed that she loves me and then she kissed me." I stopped as I saw her pulling completely out of my reach.

"Did you kiss her back." She asked. Her tone becoming more angered.

I took a long time before I answered.

"Did you." she asks me again.

"Spence it happened so fast until I realised I was reacting to it I pulled away and pushed her off of me." I confess. Why lie.

"She was on you, and you wanted something to happen." She asked me.

"It's just a kiss Spencer. Baby." She held a hand out stopping me as I moved closer to her.

"Don't call me baby. Why couldn't you have told me this before we had sex now? Why couldn't you tell me Ashley? A kiss is never just a kiss." She says back. Turning her towards me as she walks back into the kitchen me following like a lovesick puppy getting burnt.

"Well it meant nothing for me I love you not her, she knows that. I didn't ask for this Spencer." I tell her as my own anger sweep through my body. How stupid could I have been to respond to the kiss but it meant nothing to me.

"You may not have asked for it but yet it happened because you made it happen. I can't look at you right now." She says.

"Spence please don't do this. We are getting married. Please don't do this now." I beg her. But she wasn't budging at all. As I see her tears become into sobs.

"Just go please." She says.

"It's always been you Spencer. Never her, but you. I worked hard to get you back I am not going to let you walk out on me. I cant, I won't leave. We are going to work through this. I will sleep in the spare bedroom but I am not going to pack my clothes and move out of this house." With that I turn around and walk towards the spare bedroom banging it hard as I closed it behind me.

This is what you get if you think you can reason with the woman you love. I fucking hate Blake; I never want to see her face ever again.

With that I heard another bang and knew right then she has left the house cause minutes later I heard her car leaving the driveway. That is when I knew I had my work cut out for me.

I owe it to Hadley at least.


	53. Chapter 53

_**AN: The long awaited update I know it's been awhile but I am really trying to get as much done on an update. **_

_**I dedicate this chapter to all the amazing readers.**_

_**Dha I told you I will find my muse.**_

**Chapter 52**

**Spencer's POV**

When I first move to L.A , after I knew that I made a mistake leaving her after we have just slept together I knew it was wrong, that day when I let her make love to me, knowing that the following morning I would pack up my things and walk out of her life forever. Going back to a marriage that wasn't the same ever since I lost the baby.

_flashback_

_I cheated on my husband. Ashley deserves so much more then someone who can't give her that now. I got to leave here. I need space to think. Stupid Spencer you slept with her you told her you loved her, you made her believe there were a future for the two of you. I see the brunette turn her face as she moves closer in my arms. I kiss her on the forehead. I slowly remove myself from under her as I see she grabs my pillow snuggling into it. She looks so beautiful, God am I really going to do this to her. Am I going to throw away a love like this, a love that I have been searching for, for so long? It's like I was in love with her before I even met her. _

_I gather my things and throw everything in my luggage. I walk over to the dresser and get clean underwear and enter the bathroom. It didn't take me long to shower and to get dress I stood at the end of the bed. Scanning every feature on her face as it may be the last time that I will see her. I will always remember last night._

_End of flashback_

And here I am two years later after that incident vowing I will never walk out on her. But hearing the woman you love that you know is your forever kissed her ex girl friend the same ex girl friend I stole Ashley from so long ago.

_flashback_

_Last night when she hold me, her arms wrapped around me it felt so right, like its where I am suppose to be, but I knew that she had a girlfriend, but I couldn't not over hear their conversation as I am the topic of the agenda. I stood in the hall way so that they couldn't see me._

"_Ash…w what you saying, that you love her. That I meant nothing, that what we had meant nothing at all, eight years Ash."__ Could she be, is she in love with me._

"_It's not about her, it's about me and you, and we are not that people, we never were. Most of the time you were seeing other people and I let you cause I knew their isn't an us. Maybe there once were but there isn't now, I didn't want to hurt you, I said I never would but be realistic." I could hear her cry as Ashley wiped them with her thumb_

_._

_End of flashback_

I shouldn't have over reacted the way I have I mean she didn't actually sleep with Blake. Back then I slept with Ashley while I was still married to Aiden. If I think about this is all my own doing.

This is what you get if you hurt someone that loved you with all his heart but all you could do is love another. Love the brown eyed girl that intrigued me ever since I have met her. That makes it hard for me to walk away; I want her around me all of the time. I want to surround myself and get lost in her forever. That when I am not near her she's on my mind constantly, wondering where she is, what she is up to. Wondering if she is thinking about me.

I remember the day when I knew it was no longer Aiden I wanted to spend my life with. It was the hardest decision I have ever made besides leaving him after the lost of our unborn son. It was Chelsea who made me realise that I wasn't happy in my marriage that the person I were for that last year weren't the Spencer she knew and love. I stayed for my daughter but at the end of the day it was my happiness that counted. If I want my child to be happy I need to be happy. Deciding to walk away from a three year marriage seems easy to do, but Aiden was brave that day when he let me go. Go after the one I love.

Just remembering that day brings both tears and joy in my heart.

_Flashback: The day Spaiden Split for good_

"_We've been here before haven't we? So long ago you walked away to L.A. and when you came back you weren't the person I was in love with, it's like somewhere you have left your heart." I look right into his eyes._

"_I am still me." I say._

"_Well you never told me why you never went to the premier of your movie Spencer, your first time at producing and yet you never went. What happened in L.A?"_

"_I told you nothing happened. I just didn't want to leave Hadley behind."_

"_We could have gone with you. You know I will do anything for you."_

_I nod my head, because I know deep down there's someone who I love, and that person is not the man standing in front of me. There was a time I thought Aiden was my soul mate the person I want to grow old with have a family with, but ever since Ashley Davies showed me what love is, the type of love that brings tingles and butterflies to your stomach. That night in my hotel room she showed me a world that I have been missing, I wanted her that night. I know we should've waited a while, but I knew that I was in love with her and she was in love with me. _

"_I can't do this anymore Aiden. We…." Before I know it he cups my face and pulls me into a kiss. I reacted to the kiss for a nano second. I can't betray her even more then I already have when I slept with him. I pull away from him, taking a few steps back._

"_I a m not in love with you. I wish that it was that easy for me to go back and take my heart back but I just can't."_

"_You can't. You can't what?" I walk out of the kitchen finally. As I was walking out I hear._

"_You're not the person I fell in love with." I stood still seeing that he had visible tears in his eyes. _

"_Our marriage ended so long ago Aid. I have tried, Gosh? I was trying so hard to be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the best mom I could be, but deep down I am unhappy. I love Hadley and this isn't about her at all, it's about me being someone that I am not. There's someone out there who I love and who loves me even before she ever knew who I were." Tears start to form in my eyes as I see him raising his eyebrow._

"_She!" he yells. Oh Gosh?_

"_SHE!" He repeats again as he come closer._

"_Yes, she. I love her and there isn't anything you are my mother are brother can do about it."_

_End of flashback_

Out of my thoughts I heard my phone go off as I looked at the screen telling me I have an incoming call from Ashley.

I wanted to answer I wanted to tell her that I love her, that walking out on her was wrong, that what happened between her and Blake was just a mistake and we could move on from there, but my memories and the journey that I went through to get to her wasn't near ending until I saw the phone stop ringing but the beeping of an incoming voicemail.

I pressed 555 and dialled my mailbox listening to her.

_**Spence, bunny its me, I know what happened between me and Blake and your reasoning for leaving the house. I know right now I am not your favourite person and hope we can change that I am not going to sleep until I know you are safe and sound in our house. I love you Spencer that will never change I told you before you are my life. My angel. I love you and Had so much just come home. Please baby I love you.**_

That is where it ended.

Maybe I should go home. But why must I give in so easily. Cause you love her silly. Why else would she beg you to come home because she love you nobody else but you.

The minute I left the house after her telling me Blake kissed her and she kissed her back its not so much the kiss that bothers me, it's the fact that Blake is still in love with Ash, and I know apart of her will always feel that way about my fiancée. Maybe I can't change that, but they do have a history if I never came to L.A they would've had a life together. Am I still the woman Ashley wants her forever with. Will we have a happy life together without anyone coming in and ruined it for us? Its never smooth sailing always something lurking in the darkness to take our happiness away.

_Flash back: The Proposal_

"_Ash?" I call her name. But she kept smiling._

"_Spence, when I was touring Australia and one day I came across this song I think it's an Australian band, but one night I told Tommy that I want to do a cover of this song and then it hit me." she kept quiet for a moment ._

"_Ash?" I say yet again._

"_Spence please let me get this out here." I nod my head and she carried on._

"_There are so many songs in this world that could sum up a relationship, whether its heartbreak, new found love or even lost love but the day I met you I knew that our love was meant to be." She pressed play and I heard the most beautiful melody string through the speakers she abandoned her mic and start to sing, I love her voice._

"_Spence, there is something that I have been meaning to ask you. I know that I am not the easiest person to deal with, and I can be willing to bet you that in life there will be many things that we will disagree on. All I can tell you is that I will try my hardest and do everything in my power to make you happy. That when I am not with you, I feel incomplete. Like there was this void in my life that only you and that unbelievable cute little blonde at home could seem to fill. I know that it isn't going to be easy to come into a home that has been functioning great on their own. I guess what I am trying to say Spence is that I would like nothing more than to be apart of that life. To show you and Hadley how much love I have to offer you. To be there for her, and show her that my life without her would be nothing. I am ready to take that next step in my life. Spence...... would you marry me? Please make me the happiest person in the world."_

"_Yes." I mutter out so soft. She looks at me, still lost in the memory._

"_What?" she finally asks me._

"_YES! YES I WILL MARRY YOU ASHLEY DAVIES!" I yelled out. I saw the expression on her face as she walks up to me lifting me up from the carpeted floor. Twirling me around. I didn't know she had this much strength._

_She puts me down as she once again, when down on her knee._

"_I love you so much and I promise you from this day onwards you will never ever have to question my regrets, you and Hadley are my world there's nothing to regret about that." She takes out the ring as she slides it on my ring finger, and kissed the band wants it was on my hand. I brought the ring close by, and I couldn't believe how beautiful it looked on my hand._

_She finally stood up as she just holds onto me, and never let go._

"_I promised that I will never let you go." She says._

"_Never." I say._

"_Never. Not when it feels this amazing." She says. Kissing me._

"_I love you Ashley Davies." I say._

"_I love you too soon to be Mrs Davies." I had to smile._

_Hopefully one day Spencer Davies. I had to smile at that memory._

_End of flash back_

I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks as I try to wipe them with the back of my hand. It was through my blurry vision I saw a figure moving towards the car. It was a female standing there a few feet away as the bright lights of my car shine right on her face. Its then that I discovered who the person is as she stood there standing. Just then a thunderous storm breaks down.

She didn't move even though she was getting silky wet but yet she stood standing.

Slowly I opened the car door. As I got out shutting the car leaving the headlight on. I walked closer as the rain was falling all around us.

"I knew you were crazy." I tell her as I kept walking. Its then that she starts to move. I wish that one day I could tell the world that I have never in my life been speechless by her beauty but right now standing there with her hair wet, her jacket clung to her perfect form. Her high heel boots covered up right to her knees, and her skinny jeans getting even tighter. Thanks for rain. I could see that she has been crying. I could see her trying to hide it by the rain as her mascara was smudged by rain mixed with tears. I was finally stood right in front of her.

"Crazy in love with you yes." She says. Just that. Just her looking so beautiful under the thunderous storm. Is all that could make me fall in her arms once again?

"I think you crazy. You could catch pneumonia." I tell her.

"Well then I guess we both die then." She says. Her famous nose crinkle.

"What would we do with each other then." I ask her.

"Then the after life will just have to do." She says. I couldn't believe that her sarcasm always have some kind of innuendo underneath.

"Spence." She says.

"I am sorry. I am sorry I walked out on you, but." She stops me. As I felt her finger tips running up and down my face as she trace my eyebrows with water droplets falling down my face.

"You even more beautiful in the rain." She says. I could feel her breath close to my mouth. Until I felt it. She pressed a kiss to the side of my mouth.

"Ash." I say. Letting her know that we can't just fix this with a kiss or ending up in bed again.

"I know. I am sorry for how I handled this. Kyla told me." when she said Kyla's name.

"She knew. Is that why she took Hadley tonight."

"Spencer. Please she was trying to warn me. She knew if this gets out it could get ugly. But just know I was going to tell you. I just wasn't sure how." She said.

"Why not tell me before we ended up having sex. That was the worst thing you could have ever done to me Ashley."

"Please don't call me Ashley that just there tells me you are mad and it will take me some time to fix this. I promise you I didn't mean for what happened and how it happened." She said. As she let go of my hand she's holding.

She wrapped both hands around her body. I know its cold and she could get sick.

"Lets go home." I tell her. I turn around as I walked to the car but she wasn't moving she stood there. I turn around again.

"What are you waiting for." I ask her.

"Are you sure." She asks me.

"Yes I am. We could get sick in this rain." I tell her. I walked back. And helped her to the passenger side of the car. As I got inside of the car she sunked deeper in the seat.

"Do you remember that day you took me home when Clarke tried to kiss me." I tell her.

She looks at me with a frown on her face.

"You took me for coffee." I tell her.

She looks at me.

"You want coffee. "She asks me.

I smiled at her. As I reach over towards her lap and take her hand in mine. Bringing it up to my lips as I kissed it.

"Not to a coffee shop. But home babe. I think we need to get you into some dry clothes." I tell her.

"How do you do it." she asks me.

"Do what?" I ask her back.

"The fact that I practically cheated. I waited to long to tell you. I sleep with you holding something back and yet you are so good to me. What did I do to deserve you." she asks me. As she hold onto my hand.

"You love me. That is all that matters. I want to make you my wife Ash. I want you to be the mother of our children. I didn't choose you. We were meant to be. Everyone else knows that." I tell her. I reach over as I hold onto her as her face was placed in the crook of my neck. With her body shaking in my arms from the sobs that is coming from the beautiful brunette.

"I love you Ashley Davies, flaws and all." I say. As she lifts her head back up.

"I love you too, Spencer Carlin." I pulled her in as our eyes met, I can see her eyes scanning my face right down to my lips, as I start to lick them. Its then she moved closer to my mouth as our lips met. Her cold lips met with mine as our tongues start to move in sync. It wasn't a deep kiss, but yet so passionate. It went on for a while until she broke the kiss to get some air. As we lay our foreheads against each other.

"No more secrets please, I don't think my heart can take any more hurt." I tell her. She nods her head.

With that I pull away and start the car as we drove off a few more houses to our house. I couldn't believe she came to look for me.

Sometimes I know that love isn't always going to run smooth, you aren't always going to know what is going on in your girlfriend's head and heart if they don't let you in.

Tonight I have gone on my own journey. We all go through life thinking that we could never feel tempted. That we can resist it. But if you really love someone as much as I love Ashley. I would never cheat on her knowing that she is the one.

Aiden wasn't a mistake. He loved me. I loved him. But tonight I realised I was never in love with him.

Then there is Blake. The woman who has always loved Ash since they were eight. But just like me and Aiden. Ashley was never in love with her.

And then I came along and swept the brown eyed girl off her feet.

My brown eyed girl.

_**AN: Flashbacks is all in italics.**_

_**Hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I wrote it**_

_**Song I listen while writing this FOR ALL WE KNOW by The Carpenters**_


	54. Chapter 54

_**AN: I know I haven't been updating for awhile I have been working on getting the chapters updated and got you two chapters for the long wait. Most people thought the last chapter was the end well it wasn't. I also wasn't prepared for a Sequel either so I start to write the following chapters I hope you guys will love the next part of this story sadly WHTM is coming to a end. So please enjoy what's left of this amazing story. Thanks to you who have loved it since the start. **_

_**Enjoy:**_

**Chapter 53.1**

**Kyla's POV**

_**Wedding Day**_

This is the day I have never thought I will ever be apart of, the fact that my twin sister has finally found the woman she wants to spend her forever with. When I first introduced the two together, I couldn't really understand the love between two females. How there love is just like any other ordinary couple.

But those two aren't just ordinary, they are epic. To tell you the truth I had doubts that Ashley would screw this up, the fact that she has been with so many girls. She dated Blake for over eight years and one day she meets the Blue eyed blonde. There romance its something you would only read about in Spencer's novels.

Not just is she the only girl who could make a woman out of my sister but she also got the brunette to be a role model for her daughter. The little blonde has really become fond off her mama.

"Are you okay." I ask her. She was lying with her head on my leg. She turns her face towards me. The expression on her face shows that this is the best thing that could have ever happen to her.

"I feel like it's a dream." She says.

As she busies herself to get up and sit opposite of me.

"It's not a dream its real sis." I tell her. We have been the closest sisters since we were babies besides the fact our mother tried to tear us apart. I will never really understand what went on with our mother. She hasn't even come around and wishes her daughter good luck. But our dad has been the best dad that any two girls could have asked for.

"I know its not. Last week I thought it's the end of us and here I am sitting knowing that today I am making her my wife. Damn I am lucky that I have the most amazing fiancée that has a heart of gold." She tells me. Yeah Ash and Spencer has been really busy talking this whole Blake thing out. Blake came around a few days ago telling me that she wish she didn't do that. I asked her what she said kissing Ashley and telling her she loves her.

She also said she just didn't expect Ash to be serious about Spencer. She was jealous over what they shared a love like theirs comes along only once. But it wasn't her love. Ashley wasn't meant for her. She was meant for someone special like the blonde.

"Kyla where is your mind." She asks me. As I know I have this faraway look. Its weird but lately she can't read what I am thinking must be the separation.

"Blake." I said. Her face turned into a frown hearing her ex girl friend's name after what has happened.

"Why? Do you like her or something." She asks me. I had to laugh as I threw her with the pillow.

"No thank you I don't date your leftovers." I tell her.

"Aiden." She asks. Its then that I felt the pang over my chest knowing that since the day I saw him again, I haven't let my mind go there again. Finding out his the guy that Spencer was married to. I tell you its hard when you still love someone that basically will never love you back because he is still in love with his ex.

"I haven't let my mind go their." I tell her. She moves closer as she hugs me. Burry my face in her neck. Feeling the familiarity of my big sis caring bear hugs.

She always knew how to make me feel better after our parents had a fight.

"It will be okay. You will find your true love." She tells me. As she pulls away but not to far. "Just like I have."

"You were just lucky she liked you back." I tell her.

"Yeah right it took me a freaking couple a months to bump into her and whenever we did there was always someone with her or we forget to take each others names. That was a real no brainer. The mysterious blonde." She said smiling.

"Hahaha don't lie you said you gave her your card but she just never looked at it. I mean I met her in the coffee shop when I asked her to sign my book." She starts laughing as she leans over to my night stand and take the old book, whose ears are all tattered.

"This." She lifts up to my face.

"Yep." I say.

"Needs to be thrown in the dust bin. I can't believe you actually went up to her with this Ky." She says as we both start to laugh.

We heard a knock on my door as it flies open. I couldn't believe what I saw. Ashley's face changed the minute she stepped into the room with none other then our father behind the woman.

I looked towards Ash and she glanced back at me.

"Girls." She said. I can't believe I haven't seen her in a year, but I think it's longer then when Ash has seen her, could be years. What is she doing here anyway? Why would Dad bring her here anyway?

"What are you doing here?" I hear Ashley ask her. She stood there in the door way as if she is afraid of the repercussion of what she has put my sister through. The fact that she wrote her off as her daughter.

It all started when we found out Ashley was gay. What is so wrong about being gay? They still the same people no matter who they sleep with.

**Ashley's POV**

"Ashley, Kyla." She called both our names. I just couldn't understand. The woman who gave birth to me standing in my apartment. I look passed her as I see dad standing there. Not knowing what to do or where to look.

"I know I am the last person you want to see before you married. I just thought I would come with your father." She says.

I stood up from the bed. I didn't walk far.

"If you put a foot near my wedding, you will regret what I would do." I tell her. I saw Kyla standing up from the bed to as she approach me.

"Ash." She says. I know what she wants. I won't let this woman near my future bride and family.

"Ky, she don't deserve to even be in the same room as I. What are you even doing here Christine you not welcome okay." I couldn't believe this shit.

"Ashley she is here to make a mence." I hear my dad say. I had to laugh.

"To make a mence. Where was she all those nights when I lied crying because I missed my sister? Or when she left me here. Where was she? She had no time for me growing up. She threw me out my house when she found me in bed with another girl. Did she even care where I was going? So know don't you tell me she is here to make a mence." I start to feel my chest burning as soft tears came down my face. I wish Spencer was here. I wish I can be with her and not here.

"And I am sorry for that. I wasn't a mother to you." she says.

"You weren't a mother period." I yell back.

When I think back to all the pain she has bestow upon our lives the day she tore my world apart. Is something that I can't just forget and move on and pretend to be the happy family?

_FLASHBACK_

_I climb out of Mrs Taylor's car. _

"_Ashwy are we going to hang out tomorrow again, bring Kywa with." My best friend said. She could never say my sisters name with L in Kyla but Kywa, I used to make fun of her all the time. _

"_Yes, Blakey. I will bring Kywa with." I say mocking her earlier pronouncement of my sister's name. As I let go from hugging her I could hear the crying and throwing of glass inside my house. Even being one of the popular girls at school by having a rock star for a Dad and well known model as a mother my life is nothing but perfect. They say that nobody's life is perfect. Sometimes I wish I could take my sister and pack our things and move in with Blake and her parents. Mr and Mrs Taylor has always been nice to us, always letting me stay over, but Kyla is so attached to my mom that I wonder if she ever loves me. She never shows it. My Dad loves me that I know because he tells me that everyday._

_I see the car pull away as it only leaves dust behind. I walk up the front lawn as I hear the yelling from my mother telling my Dad that his groupies and whores are much more important than his wife and kids. Which I know she is wrong because my Dad loves me and Kyla. But being my mother she would do anything to rip this family apart. I hate her, for doing this._

"_You Raife I wish I never met you. Now I am stuck with you and your brats." She yells at my Dad._

"_How could you even call them that, they apart of both of us." My dad says back._

_I couldn't keep my tears in anymore as I felt my cheeks getting wet._

"_I love them but you never even here to see them grow up Raife. I want my girls to have a father. We not the same people you off on the road more then you at home."  
"I am doing this for us. Gosh? Women. This family is my life. Theirs nowhere else I want to be with then here with you and our girls. Don't leave me please don't take my girls from me." I open the front door and see my mom's luggage all packed with Kyla's next to hers. I open the door further as I walk in the lobby and not looking towards my parents and ran up stairs to my sister's room. I open her door and saw her lying on her bed sniffling curled up with her favourite teddy, snuggled up._

_I walk towards her bed and climb on the bed putting my arms around her as she turns her face towards me. I see my sister with long tears running from her face._

"_Ashy (sniffling) I…I... (Sniffling) don't want to go. (Sniffling) Please I...I... (Sniffling) don't want to leave you." (Sniffling) my tears start to get more and more as I hold her in my arms both crying. I try to get words out but it's all muffled._

"_I…I. (crying) will never leave you Ky.I… I … (crying) will always be here for you. I love you."_

"_Why are they making this hard, I want to stay with you and daddy, I don't want to go? _

_With mommy, please don't let her take me Ashy. Please." She holds onto me tighter as we both hear our mother's voice saying its time to go. The stubborn person I am pulls my mom's arms away from my sister to leave her. She pulls Kyla out of my embrace. She tells me that it's best she takes Kyla and I stay with my dad because Kyla is the youngest. By a few minutes only why can't she stay with me?_

"_I hate you! I hate you! I yell after her as I am running down the stairs after them. I get to the door as my dad try to pull me back but Kyla and I are holding on for dear life as both our parents are pulling us apart. My mom gets a hold of Kyla and she attaches herself from my grip. I ran outside after her and both me and Kyla hug the other as its going to be the last time we'll see each other._

"_I love you Ashy, remember they can never tear us apart, we are twins after all. We linked for life. I love you." She cries into the crook of my neck. Still holding on._

"_I love you too Ky, we'll see each other again soon okay. I love you. You the best twin sister I could have ever asked for." She kissed me on my cheek and we finally let go from our grip on each other. We didn't say goodbye. Because I knew this wasn't a forever. We will be together again. I fell to my knees as the car drove away, as it disappear down the road, I feel my dad lifting me up and carrying inside, up the stairs into Kyla's bedroom the only place he knew I could feel her._

_I hear my dad say…"I am so sorry Ashy, we going to be a family again I promise."_

_And that's the last thing I heard before darkness took over._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"I am sorry Ashley. I wish I handled things differently back then. I was a different person. I thought we dealt with that, the day I came home." She says. Even going down memory lane, she doesn't show one bit of guilt of what she did to our family. She just don't get that she treated me like I wasn't her daughter.

"You and dad may have dealt with it or you and Kyla may have but you and I will never be that close ever again. I am so glad you weren't apart of my life, cause look at it this way. Today I am getting married and with that marriage comes a beautiful little girl who loves me and who I love no matter whose she is. So no Christine you and I will never be that mother and daughter you thought we were. You abandon me. You pulled my girl friend out by the hair. So no thank you." I tell her. This time I am making it final that I don't have a mother under no circumstance will I let this woman back in my life.

"I brought you in this world you will respect me no matter what." She says. My dad walked out of the room leaving me and mother to sort this out. When him and Kyla always just stand there and watch us rip each other apart.

"Mom I think you should leave now please. I am glad you trying but just go." I hear Kyla say. Our mother looks at Kyla then back at me.

"Are you gay to." She asks my sister.

"Even if I were gay. Its none of your business just go you've hurt Ashley to much. You didn't even have the decency to apologise to her for what you have put her through. We are better off without you in our lives." With that Christine's eyes grew bigger. You could see where we got our good looks and charm from. Even though the woman is evil she is beautiful but it's her heart and soul that she lost along the way. Must be what fame does to a person.

"You'll regret the day you threw your mother out." She said.

"I should've thrown you out the minute you stepped in my doorway. Just go please. Just don't bother coming to that wedding we don't need you." I hear Ky telling Christine off. With that she turned around and walked out the room passed my dad who came back hearing the conversation between Christine and Ky.

"I am sorry girls… I though." Just there I cut him off.

"You weren't thinking."

"I just thought." He tried again.

"Dad. Just don't do that again okay. I don't want her apart of my life; I have lived my own life for quite sometime without her. I don't need her." I tell him.

"Ashley I know, but know this one day you also going to be a mother. I mean you have a little girl already. How would you feel she said those things to you." he start arguing Christine's case.

"Well for one she isn't me, and I am not Christine and her mother has raised her with good values even her dad. So No, I don't think I will have this problem. This change with me, I will have my own kids one day and no matter what they want to be or who they end up loving I will love them either way. Cause it's my kids. So please don't compare me to that whore." Its then that I first saw my dad angry as he almost grabbed me by the arm pulling me towards him. When Kyla had to come stand in between us.

"Daddy please. Just go. Don't hurt her. She has been hurt too much by all of us. You, mom and me." Kyla's plea with dad made him let go as he stormed out her room banging doors as he went on.

I can't believe this.

I fell to the grown with my head in my hands. Crying like I have never cried before. Why must all this happen to me right before my wedding? Why didn't I stay with Spencer? Why couldn't I have stayed with her?

"Do you need me to get Spencer." I hear Ky ask me. My life. Feels like nothing ever go right for me. First Blake, then Christine and now my dad.

"No!" I say.

"Ashley look at me. Don't let them make this day unhappy for you. Cut them out your mind sis, I am so proud of what you have done with your life, that you didn't let fame and fortune change you. You are still the same girl, the most loving and caring girl friend and a great mother. And off course an awesome sister. I wouldn't change that for anything in the world." And with that she got me up from the floor as we went back to sit on her bed.

"Now tell me how we are going to get you ready for this big day. You do know that she asked me where you taking her for your honeymoon." With that I had to smile. Just thinking of what me and Kyla got plan for afterwards brought a smile to my face, knowing in less then ten hours I will be Mrs Carlin Davies. I can't wait to see her.

_**Continue**_


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 53.2**

**Spencer's POV**

I have a strong feeling that Ashley isn't happy that something is going on with her; I have been trying to call her but my maid of honour took my cell phone from me. I just want to know if she is okay. That is the only way I would know if my girl isn't having cold feet. I know that we haven't been engaged that long but we just want to be together and start our lives together. Too many things and too many people have interfered too much.

If there is one thing I can honestly say is this. That I have never loved so fearlessly then the day the brown eyed brunette entered my life. It is amazing how two hearts can come as one. Binded together forever.

I look down to the ring I was wearing on my ring finger. I couldn't imagine finding a love like ours. I notice her starring at me but I didn't give her the respond she is hoping to get. But all she did was smile at me.

You all are wondering who this person is. Nope it's not Madison at all; gosh I can't stand that woman up till today. She is now dating my brother Glen, I don't know what the men see in her, she tries to ruin every guy she falls in the bed with.

Okay back to the person you will find out, cause I can see her being eager to get me to stop day dreaming about my soon to be wife.

"Spencer really. You worst then a guy." I had to laugh at her. I seriously missed her. Since I wasn't there for the birth of my nephew who is named Jacob Spencer Carlin. I couldn't believe them taking my name as his second I was honoured by it.

"I love you to Chels." Yep my best friend from Ohio, but I guess you guys knew that already. I can't get married without the person who told me to go after my heart; she was the only one who knew I wasn't happy with Aiden. Even though it was hard on her being good friends with Aiden. But she has been very supportive with every decision I have made, she knew that me and Hadley are very happy here with Ash.

Talking about Hadley she and Avery are spending the morning with my parents. That should keep those two entertained for awhile. We have put both of them in the wedding, seeing as we don't have any boys in the wedding. I eventually called my parents. Well my mom wasn't too eager to speak.

This is how that talk went.

_Flash back_

"_Hello." I hear him saying._

"_Dad. Is it okay if I can see you and mom today? I know it's been awhile and I am glad you didn't leave L.A yet but I need to talk with you both in person. Can you come over to the house." I asked him. I had to get everything out in one go before I chicken out. After everything that happened between me and Ashley last week I didn't think I would be standing here in our room with her still sleeping. I love this woman so much. I didn't see her eyes open as she stared at me._

"_Are you daydreaming again are you just starring at me creeper." I hear her chuckle._

"_I was doing abit off both. Dad and Mom are coming over. You are joining us for brunch.' I asked her. Yeah she has been sleeping in a lot lately putting late nights in at the office. _

_Ever since the whole make up in the rain we have been good, but you can see the fright she gets when mentioning of my parents especially my mother. Never thought I will ever see the ASHLEY DAVIES being afraid of one PAULA CARLIN._

_Well after we got in the car and drove back home you can imagine how that night ended up. We did it right in the back seat of my car and then back in the house until we finally ended up in the bedroom. It was magnificent. Gosh my girl knows how to please me. She is just good at making me feel things nobody has ever done._

"_Spence! Spencer!" I couldn't believe I drifted off to my new happy place._

"_Why you smiling. Hope it's me that smile is for." I walk closer to the bed as she pulled the cover over her head._

"_What? I am hurt Ash." I tell her._

"_Baby you know I love you but its still morning I didn't brush my teeth yet." She says. Blushing abit. How can she blush over that? _

"_Seriously Ash. I love you smelly are not." I tell her as I pull the cover off her as she jumps up and ran towards the bathroom. Closing it behind her._

_I was busy picking up clothes that were thrown around the night before when it's extremely hot I tear my pyjamas off._

"_Mmmmmmmmmm. Now I can give you that kiss." She says. I turn around into her welcoming arms. It was a soft kiss but yet so full of passion. She makes me feel good to be in her presence._

"_Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Morning baby. So parents are coming I think I will go spend sometime with my sister until they leave." She pulls away and walks over to her drawers to get some underwear._

"_I thought we doing it together."_

"_I think this is your call babe. I think I should stay out of Paula Carlin's face for now." She says. As she turn around and walk back to the bathroom. But before she does she turn back facing me._

"_Spence after we married she cant do anything to you are me. It's going to be just us and our family forever." she says. And walked in to the bathroom as I hear the shower gets turn on. _

_Well I guess it's just me and my parents. Maybe Hadley can help calm her grandmother are make her understand. _

_Ashley has left and Hadley is in the room playing with her toys she doesn't know I have a surprise for her before the wedding._

_I was still deep in thought when I heard the knock on my door._

"_Had here's grandpa." I yell towards the room as I open the door I see whip of blonde hair pass me by._

"_Grandpa!" I hear her shout as she jumps in my Dad's arms holding him tight around his neck. Its weird but I was just like that when I was little. Glen always said I was Dad's favourite he even admits to Glen that he is right I am._

_I love my Dad. As my Dad walked in with Hadley still attached to his neck. I didn't see Mom behind him. I stared at the opening space and back at him as he just give me that weak smile he would normally give me if someone has hurt me in some way and in this moment its his wife none other then my mother._

_I took hold of Hadley as I sat her down on the ground. All of a sudden the good mood I had from this morning with Ash, knowing that this is a time for me to bond with my mom. But yet she disappoints me._

"_Its okay hunny." I hear my Dad say as I felt wetness coming down from my eyes. I see my little girl looking back at me as she walks over to me and take my hand into hers._

_I was busy wiping my face with the other as I bend down to her length. She looked at me wiping my tears with her small hand. Just the touch of her small hand makes me feel loved even more then I already am._

_She threw both her little arms around my neck._

_I hold on to her not wanting to let go._

"_I love you mommy. Me and mama love you and grandpa." She looks at my dad who came to stand behind her and hugged us both in his arms._

"_I wish I can change this for you and mom. So that she can be there tomorrow." He said. I know that my dad would never listen to my mom not to go to the wedding I am just glad he at least came here today._

"_Its okay dad. We can't change people they have to change for themselves. I am happy you here all the three of us." I said smiling._

"_Are you happy Spence? Are you happy with her I know I met her but are you truly happy." He asked me I know dad is just trying to understand all this me being gay. Having a gay daughter._

"_Had would you give grandpa and me time to talk." She hugged me again and moved out between my dad and me._

_She walked back inside her room closing it. Smart girl._

"_You taught her well." He says. I start smiling just remembering the person who did._

"_All Ash." I say. As we both get up and went to sit at the table where breakfast were already waiting. After Ashley left I had started with the breakfast even though I made too much but its okay. I can always put some away for left over's._

"_So." He started._

"_She makes me happy daddy. Hadley is happy and you know that she is my first priority. It took us awhile to get settled in but we doing okay. Ash is good with Had and we want to raise her together." I tell him._

"_What about Aiden. Where does he fit into this new family?" I knew this was going to become a topic._

"_I will never take his daughter from him. He will always have a say in her life. Just now there are three of us raising her. Ash would never keep Had from her dad. You know how much she loves him I won't take that away."_

"_I hope so, his lost too much. I know that you and Ash are happy but just think what all this is doing to him hunny. You left him." He started._

"_I didn't just leave him, he told me to go. And where does this all have to do about Aiden. His my past this is my future my wife and daughter." Its then I heard and outburst coming from the other side of the room._

_She stood there in my doorway. I couldn't believe it._

"_Your wife. Over my dead body. I told you this farce of a wedding will not happen. I warned you." she yells from the other side._

"_Paula please." I hear my dad say. But knowing him she always gets her say. _

"_Mom you can try whatever you want but you are not stopping me are this marriage. If this is how you feel I don't want you there." I tell her._

"_Paula our granddaughter is inside would you just please. The both of you." its then that I see my dad walked pass both us and into the wall way towards her room. Not long I hear goodbye mommy, goodbye grandma and out they go. In my mind I am thanking dad for doing that cause this could end up ugly._

"_I can't believe you just burst into my house like that. Who do you think you are." I yell._

"_I am your mother. Spencer think about what you doing to Hadley, to your family. All because you think you attracted to this girl. You aren't gay." She says. _

"_I am not doing anything that is harmful to anyone mom. Why can't you just accept this is who I am? That I am happy. Doesn't that matter that I am happy." I tell her. I could feel that I am going to end up crying but I need to be strong for the two of them. Had and Ash need me to be strong and not let my mother get to me._

"_I can't accept this you just acting out cause I wasn't a good mother for you is that it. Do you hate me this much to do this. Gosh Spence I didn't raise you this way." She said. I wish I can just teleport this woman out my way._

"_It's not about us okay. I am in love with her not you are anyone is going to change that. I have never in my life felt this peace and calmness in my heart. No one can do this but her. I wish you could see what I see. A love like ours that overcome everything. You not taking that away from me."_

"_What do you think I should do when your grandparents asked me about all this? My colleagues, the church. My daughter isn't gay. You coming back home. We will take you and Hadley in. you not staying here in this town another day. Since you came here you have changed." She tells me._

"_Do you hear yourself? It's not about where I am. It's about other people. You care more about what the whole of Ohio is saying then what your daughter is._

_L.A didn't turn me gay. Nor did I wake up and tell myself that today I am going to go out there and find me a girl. You and the whole of this god forsaken world and your petty small minds think we are a disease, that we are disgusted, and that we are sinners. But let me tell you this we are human beings we love just like you and everyone else who is in a relationship. We are just as much apart of this world then all of you. But know this if you walk out of my life today. You not just walking out of mine but you walking out of your grandchild. An innocent child who will end up hurt cause of what you are trying to do. So don't you tell me that I don't know what I want? Because my heart has found exactly what it did. True love." I couldn't believe I finally let all this emotions I had out of me. I felt my fore head as I can feel I am burning up in my face._

_She stood standing still her mouth was close as her eyes grew even huger then they already were._

"_She..._

_Tears were streaming from my mom's eyes. Her blue eyes the same as mine and Hadley were filled with tears._

"_She…._

_I know she wants to say something. I know she don't want to accept this._

"_I love her mom. Isn't that what matters." I ask her. I was sat still at the dining table and my mom was stood against the wall. Her back hits the wall as she tries to keep her tears at bay. Could this be the day that my mom would accept me for who I am? Its all I ever wanted is for my mom to be there when I exchange vows. The woman who I looked up to. Being her only daughter we have spend so many nights together as she would help me with my school work. She is my hero but yet she can't accept that I am my own person._

_If I should loose everyone else in my life. All my friends and family. It's her that I don't want to loose more then anything in this world. I also won't give up Ash to pretend to be happy with a guy. Even if I would've stayed with Aiden. In a marriage I knew would never be the same after losing so much already. All that pain we went through. With Ashley I found that comfort, that peace. She gave me my space. Never asking me what is going on but always being attentive that is what makes it all work. She loves me no matter what._

_We all have shortcomings and we all deal with them differently. But here is a woman who is basically the pillar of this family as she slide down the wall and on my floor. _

_Her body start to rock back and forth as her face was sat in her hands. _

"_I…I…I am sorry, Spence. I just can't accept this is who you are. I just wanted the best for my daughter. I can't." She says again. My own tears never stopping. I can't believe that she is doing this. That she can't bear to look at me._

"_Mom. Please don't do this. Don't walk out on my life. I love you." I say. But it's like nothing I say will change her. _

_I see her trying to get up as she holds onto the wall and the chair not far from her. I see her finally stand up as she moves so slowly towards me. Her hand came up as she runs her fingers through my hair. I couldn't not when I pull her close to me as we both stood there crying holding onto each other. It wasn't long when I felt her pull away and kisses me on the head. I looked up as our eyes locked._

"_I can't do this now, but I can try to understand why. Why this happened but I can't be there seeing this wedding take place I hope you can understand." And with that she walked out my house, away from me not even turning around as I sat there not knowing what has just happened._

_I heard my cell phone ringing thinking its Ash, but it wasn't her. I knew the voice because I have missed it for quite sometime._

"_Hey." I hear her say._

"_Chels. I need you." with just that one sentence I heard her tell Clay to pack the kids up they coming to L.A._

_End of flashback_

"Spencer she will come around. She will one day see that Ash makes you happy that this is who you are still the same person. Why does it matter to people who you love? I never understood it until the day you told me you were in love with a girl. Paula will come around she has to for everyone's sake." I hear Chelsea say.

"I am getting married it wasn't easy trying to set this wedding getting our marriage licence in a state who is still fighting to make same sex marriage's legal." I tell her. She looks at me like I am crazy.

"What? Are you guys married already." I start to smile just thinking I wish we were.

"Well we did some research on countries that legalised same sex marriage. I have a friend she is also a writer from South Africa she has just gotten married to her long time partner after five years of dating they got married last year. South Africa has made same sex marriages legal in 2006. I spoke to Ash if we should go down to Cape Town and get married but Ash wasn't so happy about marrying in a foreign country without our family there. So we changed our minds and not too long we found out California is now also legal to marry same sex couples." I tell her. Yes I did my research I wanted this day to go well.

"You never seem to amaze me. You would go as far as South Africa to be her forever. You guys really belong in your novels." She said laughing.

"I love you too Chels."

I got up from my seat in front of the dresser after Chels has done my make up and hair. I can't believe that this day has finally come.

"You make a beautiful bride." She says. It wasn't to long I see her start to cry.

I turn around as she hugs me.

"Chels." I say.

"Your mom is an ass sorry but you don't need her hun. We are all here for you even Glen." She says. A knock came to my door and there he was standing with his back against my bedroom door. His getting older are it must be his new girl friend.

"Hey baby sis." I hear him say as Chels let go to make her way out the room. I couldn't believe he actually came. Ash is going to be so happy that my twin will be at our wedding.

"Hey yourself come here." I tell him. He came towards me as he lifts me from the floor. Gosh I missed him.

"I hear Chels say you caught a hotty dang baby sis. What do you have I don't." he ask me. I hit him against his chest as he pulls me in for another hug.

"It's really great to have you here big brother. I am just…" and my tears starts to fall knowing my own mother isn't going to be apart of this special day.

"She will come around Spence. You will see but don't let what happened between you and mom ruin this day for you."

Just maybe this change in my brother could show mom that this is all okay. I miss Ash I wonder what she is thinking right now because I can't wait to see her.

_**To be continued. The chapters will be longer up till the actual wedding thanks for all the patience I hope you guys have enjoyed the updates I hope to be back in a few weeks with how the wedding will go. Will these two finally tie the knot.**_

_**Thanks again for the reviews and favourite story alerts.**_

_**Chimhill**_


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 54**

**Spencer's POV**

**Epilogue**

I couldn't believe it was the day I was going to become Mrs Ashley Davies. I am over whelmed with so much emotions going through me. I told everyone that I am not nervous that I am okay but as we drove closer and closer to the place where the wedding is taking a place I couldn't be more nervous I usually don't get like this. Well I lie I felt like this the day I got married to Aiden my nerves kicked in and Chelsea had to give me a shot but for this I want to go in sober minded.

The church we have chosen to have the small wedding ceremony wasn't to far away from where the reception will be. But we chose to go for the garden wedding.

Seeing as it is a beautiful day out. The birds are chirping and the sky is as blue as the colour of my eyes. I stood in the small room facing the huge mirror in front of me, as Chelsea is fixing my hair once again and make up. I turned around as I see my little girl sitting with her cousin as the two got chatting and playing with the rose petals in there baskets.

I see Hadley look up to me smiling, nothing in this world means more to me then seeing her happy. The fact that she has gone through so much in her small life. That her mother is getting married to another female but none of that mattered to Hadley she loves Ash just like she loves me and her father. I know this must be hard on him but I am glad that he has come to an understanding that we weren't meant for each other. Leaving Aiden years ago was the best thing I could've done. Cause if I didn't I might've still been stuck in a marriage that we both would've ended up being miserable in.

"She is beautiful just like her mother." I hear a voice and seeing my little girl getting up running towards the door. As I turned I saw him there standing while picking up Hadley from the ground. He kissed her all over her face as she holds him tight.

"I miss you Daddy." She says to him.

"I am glad you could make it Aid. I didn't know you would come." I tell him. Chelsea walks towards Avery taking her hand as she waves at me then nod her head at Aiden.

He walks in closing the door behind him with Had still attached to his neck.

"I am glad you invited me. As hard as it is to know you getting married today. But you make a beautiful bride Spence." He says as he finally let Had loose as she runs to the door and opens it. She closed it behind her smiling.

"Thank you." I say.

"So how you been. Nervous." He asks me.

"I little yes but its nerves of anticipation been waiting for this day for quite sometime now." I tell him. He kept his face in a smile not letting his own emotion appear.

"I can understand, Ash is a lucky woman to have you. How is everything with your mom." He asked me. I haven't thought much of it since we left for the ceremony.

"Not so good but I am not going to let her ruin this for me. I will deal with that later." I say.

"Spence I know you, I also know how much it would mean to have her here with you. I wish I can do something to help." He says.

"Always the gentlemen but it is fine. I just want to get through this day without any drama we have had enough of that." I was definitely not in the mood for anymore fighting. I have my dad and my brothers I don't need more then that. Just hope Ash's mother will come through for her, but knowing my fiancé feelings towards her mother I doubt that it would go well.

"Spence is this really what you want. To be married to her." I hear him ask me.

"Its what I want more then anything or you here to cause problems cause believe me I doubt it would be necessary." I tell him.

"No it is not. I have come to accept this is what you want I have no say over that." Its then I remembered what Ash told me.

"So you know Kyla Davies." I ask him. He looks at me shocked.

"You know." He asks me.

"I am asking you."

"Yes I knew her years ago when I was still a boy living in Baltimore. We never dated if that is what you think. But she came to fetch Hadley at the house that is when I found out bout her." He says.

"Okay. She is an amazing person. She definitely needs the best in life. Just don't hurt her Aiden." I tell him.

"I wont. I also won't do anything." He says.

"Okay."

"I have to go now I just want to see you one more time now I have. Bye Spence."

And with that he walked out. It comes down to this realising that love is only everlasting if both people are still feeling the love but in our case he has realised that, that chapter is closed.

**Ashley's POV**

If there is someone out there that hates me on this day that I am suppose to be happy. Then why do I feel like I have been shot through the heart? Kyla has been so great to me ever since our parents left. Why is it that things can never stay drama free for one day? What am I destined for failure. I don't know what Spencer see in me. She could have someone better then me. She deserves so much more.

"Ash just stop it okay. I cant let you think all this crap." I hear Kyla speak on the other side of me. We were on our way to the church.

"Well it's the truth. I will just disappoint them and hurt them and treat them like they meant nothing." I tell her but more telling myself.

"Just stop." And she stopped the car.

"Kyla are you trying to kill us. You cant stop here cars are driving up and down." She placed the car in gear and drove off to the side of the road.

"Better." She says.

"Much better." I tell her. I look at her and she wasn't smiling.

"Ash you have something good with Spence she loves you with all her heart don't you dare do this thing where you get scared and run cause if you do you wont just loose the only girl who ever loved you but you'd be hurting that poor little girl do you want to break it." She says.

"Ky what if I end up being like mom then what. They would get hurt either way." I tell her.

"No cause you aren't mom. You will never be her. Our mother doesn't have the qualities you have. Look at when we were little who looked after me when I was sick not mom, but you. You have been there for me more then Christine. So don't think that Spence and Hadley don't love you cause they do. I admire you so much for the person you have become. Don't disappoint me either." She says. I guess she is right but why do I get this ache inside of me that something bad is going to happen. That my life or our lives will change. It may be today it may be tomorrow. But I just want to shake it loose and go through with this wedding. My fiancée is waiting for me to unite us as one.

"Then start the car and let's get a move on. Ky thank you for everything you have done for us. I love you baby sis." I tell her as I leant over and hugged her. My own tears start to betray me as both of us start to sniffle.

"I love you too Ash." She says. Still holding onto each other. It took awhile for us both to get our barring together and start to drive towards the church. I can't wait to look into those blue eyes and make her my wife and spend the rest of our lives together.

Just being in her presence seeing her laugh makes me fall deeper and deeper in love with the blonde. I just want this to be perfect. I can't wait to see her. I knew she said she wants to wear a white summer dress. But as you all know I am not always in the mood for a dress but today I have a pant suit on. It's white off course with a black over coat and my favourite a tire. A loose tie around my neck with my hair up in a bun. Kyla wanted me to wear the short mini with the halter top but I wanted to look nice not slutty. I can dress up like that after this day is over.

It wasn't long that I notice the church on the far end just over the hill. It was one of those ancient churches with the wooden doors and the big church bell that you still pull by the hand. I knew I couldn't see her even though I know I want to. I have missed her since early yesterday morning. Sometimes I doubt that I will mess this up with Spence. The more I did mess up the more she picks me up and direct me in the right way. I couldn't have asked for a better person to share my life with. I never knew I would get to this part. Where I am about to become a wife to someone else. Just thinking back to how it all started, how we both never gave up on the love we had for each other. Loosing her was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, but it all worked out until the day she came back.

She came back to me. I love her so much.

**Aiden's POV**

Seeing her standing there with her dress on about to get married to another woman is something I never understood, but I know Spence she loves with all her heart. I can't fight it anymore, I know how Paula is feeling but she needs to do this for Spence her daughter. If Hadley comes to me one day and tells me she loves a girl I know I would be shock but it's her life and I will do my best to support her in the decision she has made. We can't live our children's lives for them. Its enough that Spence and Ashley gets treated badly from the public why must we as there family still be discriminating against two females getting married.

I just want the best life for both Spence and Hadley I would always love Spencer no matter what. I don't think I would ever move on. Knowing that out there is another girl loving me. But in my heart I can't love another.

I was still stood near the entrance of the church as I sat there I didn't notice two figures walking towards me. its then I looked up and saw them both the one was dressed in a beautiful white pants suit with a black over coat and loose tie, but it was the one in a white dress almost similar to what Spence was wearing. Gosh she is breathtaking. Kyla Davies. I can't believe how she grew up to be this beautiful girl. I see them coming on as both of them stop when I got up from my seat.

"Hey." I say. As they both looked right at me.

"Hi." I hear Ashley say.

"Uhm thank you for inviting me." I tell her. She looked a bit shocked.

"Yeah no problem. We glad you could make it. I bet Hadley is happy you could come." She says.

"Yes she is. Don't worry I am not here to cause problems." I say. I could see the expression on her face changing when I told her that.

"Okay." She says. As she turns to Kyla. But Kyla seemed in a world of her own.

"Hey Kyla. You look beautiful." I tell her. I wanted to say more but the words I uttered to Spence that I won't do anything kept playing in my mind.

"I just wish we had better circumstances to have met the first time." I tell her. She still hasn't said a thing back.

"We have to go Aiden." Ashley said taking Kyla's hand as they walked pass me. Kyla's head turn back as she gives me a smile. Then she looked back walking to the back of the Garden where the wedding is taking place.

I don't really know what I am doing here but let me tell you this. This isn't easy for me to see the woman I love marrying someone else. Just maybe I don't deserve her love but how can you one day tell the world you love someone and the next time you take it away throwing in there face it was never them. Yes maybe me and Spencer aren't meant to be. Part of me has accepted that. But I read Spencer's latest novel and what I read in there was like a ton of bricks hitting me in the face. That she would actually sit down and write a book about our lives. A book where she told the world it was always this brunette that had her heart, she has broken my heart to pieces. More like a trillion splinters stabbing at each and every vain in my entire body. But like they always say you only realised what you had when the person is no longer there. It may end by me. Standing here in a garden where my ex wife is about to confess her love for her new bride. I have seen Spencer in that year she came back home.

She wasn't happy that one day I had to let it all go.

I wanted to tell her earlier in that time when she came back that she needs to go search the thing that has been missing.

If I would have let her pack up earlier they would have been married by now. But this is it I have made a vow that day that I would let her go. That I would make that sacrifice cause I love her to much.

**Spencer's POV**

I don't know when it came clearer that is her I wanted. It must have been after the time I slept with Aiden after coming back from Chels and Clay's party.

I was tipsy that night and I wanted to feel again. Because I haven't felt since the day I left my heart lying in that bed naked and alone. I regret doing that I know we have forgiven each other. This is what I want who I want to end my life with.

Ashley doesn't know that my book is done and that I have send a copy of to Aiden. I thought he deserves to know what is in it. before getting barged on for comments from the public. I didn't just throw him away. I loved him and I can try and tell myself I always knew there was something missing and today I can tell you I found what my heart has been searching for.

It's her it's always been her. My brown eyed girl. That smile on her face. I have become addicted to it.

I see as people start to gather into the garden and right in front she stood side by side next to Kyla who looks beautiful nonetheless but I cant seem to take my eyes off the older brunette standing there facing the Reverend we have found a female reverend from Ohio to marry us. It was great having a piece of home.

Chels was leading the girls down the aisle as Hadley and Avery threw petals on the red carpet that leads right up to where my soon to be wife is standing. I turn to right as I see my dad putting his arm in between me he looks at me smiling as I let him pull me closer. This day couldn't have been perfect. I tell myself.

Our song was playing the same song she proposed on.

I knew I loved you.

And it's so true what every lyric is saying she was the one I dreamt into this life.

We were walking slowly down the aisle as we came just a few feet away from my soon to be wife. My dad whispered in my ears.

"Turn around Spence.' He says. I didn't know what he meant but I turned around and right at the far end of the ceremony I saw her sitting there with Aiden next to her. I couldn't help but smile at him as my mom looked up and our eyes met. It wasn't a look that could kill because she had a small smile tugged at her lips.

My eyes then diverted back to my dad as I hugged him and we proceed as we are finally met by the other bridal party. This is it Spence.

My dad hugged Ashley as he placed my hands into hers. Seeing her smile again is the only thing that can brighten up my day. I love her.

"I love you." I whispered to her.

"Friends and love ones, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of a commitment between Spencer and Ashley , to love one another unconditionally and endlessly, Spencer and Ashley, there are many things I could say to the two of you today, but instead I choose to listen to the words you have for each other.

Spencer."

I looked into her eyes as I got ready to exchange our own vows we have decided to write.

"Do you Spencer Carlin take Ashley Davies as your wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour her and protect her, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I say.

"Do you Ashley Davies take Spencer Carlin as your wedded wife will you love her, comfort her, honour her and protect her, forsaking all other, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." She says smiling.

"Turn towards each other and take her right hand Ashley and turn towards each other." The reverend said

"Ashley I stand up here today not just to proclaim how much I love you. but I knew that one day I will meet my soul mate, I never knew it would be in a form of a girl but I am glad I sat up all those night s praying for someone to hear them and that day when I landed on L.A soil and saw you I knew I am going to have my forever with you. But I don't think anybody understood the love that I had for you, because if they did, they would have never doubted us. So I want to marry you in front of most of our world, because today when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows. This I vow to you."

"Ashley."

Spencer I never thought that I was able to love anyone like I have loved you, you are my world nothing will ever change from this day because I now know what I want. I want you and our family to grow in love and strengthen as the day goes on. To wake up and see your face and playing with our kids. I love you so much you are the one I was dreaming for my whole life, it's not going to be easy but we can do this together. It's even stronger now. And our love will never waver. This I vow to you today and always, and forever."

"Now for the exchanging of the rings." She says as Kyla gave the rings to her. She turns towards us again.

"Spencer I want you to repeat after me as you placed the ring on her finger."

"I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage.

With my body I honour you

All that I am I give to you

And all that I have I share with you

Within the love of God."

"I want you to do the same thing Ashley."

"I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage.

With my body I honour you

All that I am I give to you

And all that I have I share with you

Within the love of God."

"Now that Spencer and Ashley have given their consent and made their vows to each other before God and family with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of a ring I declare them Mrs and Mrs Ashley Davies.

You my kiss your bride."

I was finally Mrs Ashley Davies I couldn't wait to feel her lips on me as I felt Ash's hands go around my neck and pull me in for a kiss it didn't take too long as we pulled apart. Just then Ash bow down and picked Hadley up this is what it should be like. Me and my girls Gosh I am the luckiest girl ever. They are both my heart I don't think I can ever loose either because they are my reason for breathing.

We walked down the aisle as pictures were taken and people throwing rose petals but Ash never let go of Hadley and she never let go of my hand.

This is what it boils down too. The ending of a love that we sometimes take for granted and have I done that so much but what makes me happy is seeing the both of them smiling.

I knew how this story was going to end but I never knew it would end with me walking away with the girl I mean come on its me Spencer. Ashley is a hot shot attorney who turned into an overnight sensation and I was the girl from the country side with my blue eyed girl. I never knew that this brown eyed girl will sweep me off my feet and give me the life I have always wanted. To be happy and in love.

That was our wedding day. I will never forget when I saw my mom sitting there at the back but I am still glad she came to realised that I am happy with who I am.

I am Mrs Spencer Davies and this is our story you might wonder where did Aiden end up he went back to Baltimore and Kyla left for Paris.

Ashley and I had twins. Yes we had two brown eyed girls now and Hadley is the happiest girl I have seen in years with Makenna and Ashlyn.

So whatever you do in life. if that song what hurts the most play on your IPod on repeat remember out there is someone for you are maybe you and that certain someone you love will find your way back to each other.

Thank you

The end.

_**AN: well guys there you have it. The last chapter of what hurts the most. This story is dedicated to all the ones who has lost someone near to them are still fighting for that someone who knows where life may takes it. Hope we all get what Spencer got the girl.**_

_**Thank you for all the readers who has stuck it out with me to reach this goal of completing one of the longest stories I have ever written.**_

_**Love**_

_**Chimhill**_


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